![How Not To Change Your Game [Day 19 - 30 Days to Changing Your Game]](http://escaping-mediocrity.com/wp-content/plugins/ttftitles/cache/13ada32b41576e124a107a73d01e8e8f.png){kind=small}
This is Day 19 of 30 Days to Changing Your Game. Yesterday Elizabeth Potts Weinstein got us splashing in puddles, and today Marie Forleo makes us laugh with her how-to-not-change-your-game checklist. Though it is VERY funny, read it closely. There are some very wise points buried in the laughter. 
How Not to Change Your Game
by Marie Forleo (@MarieForleo)
I’m on my couch. I’ve been sitting here for quite a while trying to write something useful and clever and inspiring about changing your game.
Of course, trying to be useful and clever and inspiring doesn’t work.![452715136 38e9f38d2b2 300x201 How Not To Change Your Game [Day 19 30 Days to Changing Your Game]](http://escaping-mediocrity.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/452715136_38e9f38d2b2.jpg "452715136_38e9f38d2b(2)")
(Does it ever?)
So I figure, why not have some fun and talk about how not to change your game.
This way, if you ever veer into keep-your-game-exactly-as-it-is land, you can thank me for keeping you on the right side of the track.
Deal? On we go.
1. “Get ready” to change your game.
Getting ready to do anything is a stalling tactic; a big fat con job we run on ourselves.
Ever notice that you can spend your entire life getting ready to change, but never actually change a damn thing? Me too.
When I say I’m getting ready to do something, that’s code for, “I have no intention to do this, but I want to sound like I do.”
And the truth is I’ve never been ready, per se, for any game changing event that’s happened in my life. Thank God for that. Because if I’d known what was coming, I may have freaked myself out.
For example, after leaving a lucrative career on Wall Street, I decided to pursue my passion for dance. I was getting my feet wet in the dance world when a game changing event landed in my lap. A producer from MTV saw me dance, and asked me to interview to choreograph/produce and perform on one of their shows.
Here’s the kicker.
At that time I had never stepped foot in a professional dance class in my life, nor had any real experience as a choreographer/producer or performer.
I was excited and completely terrified all at once.
I could either say yes, pray to the dance Gods and work my ass off . . .
Or decline so I could “get ready” and hope for another once in a lifetime opportunity to show up.
Of course, I said yes, got the job and did work my ass off.
Now take a look in your own life.
Haven’t you always stepped up to the plate when a game changing event happened? Haven’t you found strength and courage and capabilities beyond what you thought were “ready” for?
Most of us grossly underestimate ourselves and spend waaaay too much time “getting ready” for what we’re already capable of. While I’m all for training and education, sometimes the fastest way to get both is to stop “getting ready” and just get going.
2. Make a detailed, game-changing plan.
Detailed plans to change your game can be another sneaky stalling tactic.
A detailed plan is especially dangerous because it masquerades around in the always seductive “I’m being responsible” dress.
Changing your game often means stepping into unchartered territory with no guide to follow.
Old rules are out the window. You’re in the wild, wild west of your own potential. Best bet is to shoot from the hip and skip micromanaging the details.
And let’s be honest. If you’ve ever planned anything, you know that life’s agenda rarely matches up with your own. When it comes to changing your game, let your deepest desire direct you and be flexible as you go.
This isn’t to discourage clarity of your aim; but trust that when you’re guided by your heart, your next steps will always appear in perfect time.
Changing your game is an intuitive, instinctive process that doesn’t always match up with logic, reason or perfect planning. In fact, logic, reason and perfect planning may prevent you from changing your game at all.
3. Avoid fear, discomfort, anxiety, confusion, etc. and all costs.
Oooooohwee, this is a big one. The best way to not change your game is to avoid these sensations at all costs. Stay as comfortable as humanly possible. Do not do anything to disrupt the status quo.
Because if you really want to change your game, you need to strap yourself in for a wild emotional ride.
Regular bouts of fear, discomfort, anxiety and confusion are proof positive that you’re on the game-changing path and finding the edges of your potential.
If you’re too comfortable, you’re likely not doing anything remotely near game-changing. More like channel-changing. Or channel-surfing. (You get the idea.)
Changing your game kicks up some intense emotions.
Expect regular “Am I crazy??” thoughts and all the lovely iterations of self-doubt that follow. You may even ruffle some feathers or outgrow some relationships along the way.
Don’t try to control these emotions, ‘get over them’ or in any way deny what you’re experiencing. It’s OK. You’re human.
Just like the rest of us.
When it comes to intense emotions, the trick is to fully feel them without getting dramatic or retreating back into safety.
Fear, discomfort and confusion are strong indicators you’re in the midst of massive growth. Intense emotions only serve as a reminder that you’re alive and engaged in something that really matters to you.
And as Richard Branson says, “The brave may not live forever – but the cautious do not live at all!”
So let’s make the rubber meet the road here, shall we?
First, run a quick self-assement on the above three points. Are you in the fast lane headed towards keep-your-game-exactly-as-it-is-land? If yes, make any necessary adjustments to get back on your game-changing path now.
Second, once headed in the right direction, help the the rest of us out by adding to this list. Got a good game-changing stalling tactic? A dead-end strategy we should all look out for? Anything you’ve seen or done not to change your game?
Leave a comment here – we’re interested.
![maire 150x150 How Not To Change Your Game [Day 19 30 Days to Changing Your Game]](http://escaping-mediocrity.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/maire.jpg "maire")
Marie Forleo is the founder of Rich, Happy & Hot: Global training for women entrepreneurs who want more money, influence and social impact. She’s a bestselling author, Nike Elite Athlete and recently, the first woman entrepreneur Tony Robbins interviewed for his acclaimed “New Money Masters” DVD program. Learn more and download her popular, and controversial, training call: The 8 Biggest Mistakes Even Smart Women Make In Business…And How To Avoid Them.” http://www.marieforleo.com/
If you don’t want to miss out on the 30 Days to Changing Your Game, please sign up here.
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January 29th, 2010 at 3:40 pm
Notes to the Tribe for Friday:
1) Today’s theme song is: Empire State of Mind: http://tinysong.com/ccdX
There are also two twitter lists of participants in 30 Days. You will find them here: http://twitter.com/MirkoGosch/escapingmediocrity and http://twitter.com/The_Promo_Guy/game-changing
2) Next Wednesday, I am holding an open Q & A call about The Gamechangers Roundtable. You can ask me anything about the event – or gamechanging in general. Get the details here: http://www.gamechangersroundtable.com/q-and-a-c...
3) If you like a post please RT it to share it with your Twitter community. Thank you!!
4) If you are getting true value from this series, please make a small donation to 12for12k’s Haiti campaign. Scroll down on the right of this page: http://www.escaping-mediocrity.com
5) If you have signed up to be on the email list (you get little extras from me), you MUST complete the double opt-in process to get them. Look for an email from me in your inbox or in your spam folder and click on the link inside it.
6) I have set up a Face book Group for us: http://www.facebook.com/#/group.php?gid=2460148...
7) I built a list on twitter of all the guest bloggers to make it easy for you to follow them: http://twitter.com/#/list/SarahRobinson/thirtyd...
Love,
Sarah
January 29th, 2010 at 4:00 pm
yeah, I don't really plan much anymore. and it is freaking awesome.
because anything I could *think* my way into is never as good as what is possible to happen when I'm paying attention and just being alive.
and it is the most scary and amazing and powerful and honest and beautiful way to go through life. #yay
January 29th, 2010 at 4:04 pm
You sure you weren't eavesdropping on my phone conversation yesterday? My friend was telling me how I work SO much better being targeted IN THE MOMENT than I ever do w/planning. lol
Now don't get me wrong, I'm doing a program right now that involves planning, but it's the right kind of planning, not the game-stopping kind.
Since accepting the marriage of those two things, in less than 48 hours I've:
1. Cried more in one day than I have in nearly 6 years combined.
2. Finally got some desperately needed focus.
3. Got ideas/input & now two seemingly “impossible” tasks are actually more possible than I EVER gave anything or anyone credit for what they could be
4. Realized I've been more on the right path than I ever realized
5. FINALLY posted the imperfect video my friend
6. Made peace with video (kept dreading it, treating it like it was the enemy & am now realizing it is SO about to be my best friend)
7. Realized that who I've been & what I've done all my life is EXACTLY what I am now & will be doing now, just with a different look to it
8. Made incredibly fast connections & met some amazing people that I was expecting at lightening speed
So yeah, don't think it. Don't plan it. BE it! Holy chit Batman!
January 29th, 2010 at 4:06 pm
Duh, that should have said wasn't expecting in the last one. And that My friend recorded for me in the other one. My brain goes to the next thing faster than I can type it.
January 29th, 2010 at 4:08 pm
Amen sista!
January 29th, 2010 at 4:09 pm
YEAHHHHH Sunshine. That's the kind of 48 hours I like!
January 29th, 2010 at 4:11 pm
Marie! I'm sure you have a fan club and I WANT TO BE ON IT. That was so COMPLETELY on target. The first section…”Getting Ready”….OMG that is so me. That is what I have done my whole life. Ballet dancer. A life of getting ready. Rehearsing until you are perfect. Quest for perfection. Seven Hundred Trillion tendus. You get the picture. So I LOVED your post and I'm going to print it out and put it up somewhere so that I see it all the time. Thank you!
January 29th, 2010 at 4:13 pm
SWEET Megan! That perfection syndrome is something a lot of us have. I chisel away at it just about every day. Totally worth it
January 29th, 2010 at 4:14 pm
Ooooooh, I knew this would be good
“Get ready to change your game” reminds me of “I'll try.” No, don't try; just do it. Make your decision and go for it. If it doesn't work exactly as you'd hoped, learn from it, make changes and do it again. And again.
“Make a detailed, game-changing plan.” I've made some of my worst decisions in life when I have over-thought them. Most of the best things in my life have happened when I've gotten out of my head and followed my heart and intution. It isn't always easy, and it can be downright scary, but life is so much better when you say “thank you” to your thoughts and follow your damn intuition!
“Avoid fear, discomfort, anxiety, confusion, etc. and all costs.” You know what huge one this is for me! But I've done so many things in the past several months that are so far out of my comfort zone that I don't even remember what my comfort zone is anymore!! And truthfully, I'm glad that I don't. But if you want to live big and play big, you have to push through all of that to get to the other side. And I've found wonderful people and amazing experiences on on the other side!
I think the other big thing I've done is to learn how to weed through the people in my life who support me vs. those who don't, whether they do it intentionally or unintentionally. You can find kind ways to deal appropriately with those that don't support you, but if you don't, their energy can really drain you, not to mention cause you to question and/or doubt yourself. Find like-minded people who will encourage you and cheer you on, and who you can encourage and cheer on, and you will get such courage and energy from that!
Thanks for all of your help and wisdom over the past few months. You showed me so many new ways of being that are serving me well. And I have “met” the most amazing people since then that are doing the same thing. You are the real deal in a world where so many are not.
xoxo
January 29th, 2010 at 4:15 pm
Thats funny Marie! Just yesterday in my business network group I mentioned that sometimes we are so busy “looking” for business that we overlook the opportunities that are right in front of our face. Kind of like having “reverse blinders” on… one that keeps you FROM seeing what is right in front of you. You of course are the best and cant wait to see you soon! Give that adorable puppy a big ole squeeze from me!
January 29th, 2010 at 4:16 pm
Marie, this is a perfect partner with Elizabeth Potts-Weinstein's post yesterday about taking Step #1 even when you have no idea what the !$!@$ Step #2 is. Someone once said that God's idea of comedy is watching us make plans. There's always an unexpected game-changer around the corner and I'm thankful for them because I get to just say YES to the opportunity and then – like you with dancing – pray and work my butt off! It's always something I didn't foresee and always a game-changer . . . with the added bonus of giving me another chance to expand myself out on those “skinny branches” while I flip fear the bird! Thanks again -
Connie Vasquez
January 29th, 2010 at 4:16 pm
From the master procrastinator, yes. I put my own roadblocks in place. For me, the best thing to do is in the words of Julien Smith and Chris Brogan – “Gate jump ” over those so I can “Gate Jump” in the important areas of life. or in the words of the Nike slogan, “Just Do It.”
If you want to get in shape- GO WALK or jog.. dont worry about having the right shoes
If you want to learn something – do it. dont think about it.
If you want to write, write. Don't worry about making it right or the best. You can always fix it later.
Dont let the strive for perfection ruin the good.
If you want something, and you want it bad enough, go for it.
Thank you so much Marie. You, the rest of the contributors and especially Sarah, have rebuilt the confidence in myself and helped me back on the path to chasing my dreams. This time, I intend to catch them and build some more.
January 29th, 2010 at 4:18 pm
I like that Elizabeth. I tell my friend J0n Aston all the time. I Jump first now… then look. Sometimes you just need to try and course correct later.
January 29th, 2010 at 4:21 pm
Tee hee…making a detailed plan. I used to think that was where it was at. And it sooo gives you the illusion of working hard. I'm learning well how not to plan – just do. Thanks for giving me a smile today. Your post was fun!
January 29th, 2010 at 4:21 pm
Thanks Marie! I wasn't so sure how much I liked it yesterday when I was feeling like a nervous breakdown would be so much easier. But feet on the other side of the fire now, it was SO worth it!
January 29th, 2010 at 4:23 pm
Fantastic article!!! I'd like to add my personal fave move to NOT change my game – Wait & See…yep, I've been known to “wait & see” rather than *gasp* DO something.
The grand plans my hubby & I had for our life-changing move didn't pan out last night (we opened the champagne anyway), so today I am all about recognizing (and immediately taking) that next move that scares the hell outta me.
January 29th, 2010 at 4:39 pm
Thank you Marie!! I loved the part about 'getting ready'… It's so true that the times when we really make things happen are when we just DO IT!
Over thinking, over analyzing, preparing too much, and procrastinating are all bound to do nothing but block us. Congrats on your new puppy! Can't wait to see pics 
January 29th, 2010 at 4:41 pm
Marie, you hit the ball out of the park. Again.
And I am so loving my own wild emotional rollercoaster!
January 29th, 2010 at 4:42 pm
Love your post Marie! As Boris Pasternak said, “Man is born to live and not to prepare to live.” It's not easy for me but I try to remind myself as often as possible
January 29th, 2010 at 4:46 pm
Great post Marie! I'm often riding that razor's edge of planning v. doing. Don't you find that so much truth happens on that razor's edge? Love you Marie. PS – spent the day yesterday with Bryan and Jennifer. Heard you've been spending a little time with them lately too.
January 29th, 2010 at 4:56 pm
PS – You are so right about the relationship strain and outgrowing some relationships. That's one of the hardest things. But I am doing it.
January 29th, 2010 at 5:08 pm
Thank you sooo very much Lori. Your words mean more than you know
.
January 29th, 2010 at 5:09 pm
I tend to somehow become a person who enjoys cleaning when there's progress to be made. My sock drawer gets organized, all my silverware is in the right place, laundry is flying out of the dryer, it's amazing. *sigh* Thanks for this post – I plan way more than I do. Gotta work on that.
January 29th, 2010 at 5:10 pm
Totally. This reminds me of being “addicted to masterminding” – it's like enough talking already – let's get some shit done! Puppy is by my side napping as I type. I'll give him a special squeeze from you as soon as he awakes!
January 29th, 2010 at 5:12 pm
I don't plan, per se, as much as I develop and reinforce the skills needed to manage flux. That way, when I get a curve ball, I have the general aptitude t to accommodate the variable.
That particular lesson took me 32 years to learn and another 10 to perfect…and it's ongoing.
“Doing” is implementation based upon the skills set/toolbox you've accumulated as you go through life. “Failure” is the absence of a skill needed to implement, but the gift/skill of awareness enables us to recognize when we need to add a tool.
That's this 30 day exercise for me. Being open to and aware of the vacancies in my tool box and my willingness to learn from those who have been gracious enough to share their experiences.
Thanks again for a great post. Best, M.
January 29th, 2010 at 5:12 pm
He y Connie! Plans are pretty comical. Useful (sometimes) as a starting place, but being rigidly married to them often causes pain and misery. Love your “skinny branches” visual too!
January 29th, 2010 at 5:14 pm
This was awesome! Wow plan, plan, plan,…. think, think,think and then talk yourself out of it because….
Although I love physical adventure, I have always HATED those feelings of fear of “changing my game”; the reaching out of my comfort zone. Until recently. Very recently, like January 1, 2010. And since then I haven't looked back and I feel better than ever. Am I scared shitless? You better believe it. But I know now, as your article pointed out, that those are signs of great change. I wish I knew that earlier in my life but I am grateful to know it now. Fortunately I am taking the advice given throughout this series and <surprise surprise haha> it's working! This post just reinforces the fact that I can reach, jump, leap, live my truth.
Thanks for the great article, this is definitely one to print and carry with me and post on my walls!!!
January 29th, 2010 at 5:14 pm
I just showed my public speaking students a video of Seth Godin's talk on TED.com about TRIBES. Your article brings up the same point — EVERYONE can be a leader, aka change the game. You could add to your list above, “Make sure everyone approves of your new game plan.” That's what held me back but no more. Happy week-end to all.
January 29th, 2010 at 5:15 pm
You are SO welcome and I'm honored to have played a part in rebuilding that confidence! Very excited to learn more so please keep us posted.
January 29th, 2010 at 5:15 pm
Thank YOU Stephanie! Had fun writing it
January 29th, 2010 at 5:19 pm
I will do that! I am working on creating some interviews with entrepreneurs and business people on my blog. I would love to interview you sometime. ( part of diving in – out of my comfort zone!)
January 29th, 2010 at 5:19 pm
That **wait and see** thing is an interesting tactic. For me, if I'm in the **wait and see** category, SOMETIMES it's a signal I'm on the wrong track and my natural knowing is saving my ass.
i.e. My mind THINKS the project/opportunity is good and I **should** want it, but the wiser part of me is stalling in hopes I'll come to my senses.
Love that you popped the bottle of bub anyway
and rock out that next move!
January 29th, 2010 at 5:20 pm
You are soo welcome! And THANK YOU on my pup
. I need to take some more pics of this little cutie pie today.
January 29th, 2010 at 5:20 pm
“Excited and terrified” is where all my most wondeful moves came from. Some people do hang gliding, we do this.
January 29th, 2010 at 5:23 pm
Hey there Annie! NICE on that quote. I don't think it's easy for any of us – but totally worth the effort!! xo M
January 29th, 2010 at 5:24 pm
Congrats to you! Growth is never easy, but it's so worthwhile.
January 29th, 2010 at 5:25 pm
SUPER proud of you Sunshine!
January 29th, 2010 at 5:25 pm
Love you too woman!! And YES! I heard about that via Jennifer. I LOVE them both. Jennifer's in Mastery 2010 so I get to spend the whole year with her. And I'm so honored to help take their genius into the online world!! We are having SO much fun together (crazy good synergy!)
January 29th, 2010 at 5:28 pm
Yeah!! I think getting ready is just draining. I keep finding myself in action on certain tasks and those are the ones I know are going to take me somewhere. It's when I pause and think too much that I get bogged down.
You're spot on as always Marie.
January 29th, 2010 at 5:28 pm
Hey Jessi! I too, am a fellow cleaner. I LOVE to freaking clean. More accurately, I love the feeling of satisfaction and the creative boost I get seeing order and refinement everywhere I look. What's helped me is doing that stuff at night (so I can get my fix) when my creative/writing/marketing juices are spent for the day.
January 29th, 2010 at 5:30 pm
Hey Nat! Yep. Getting ready is pretty darn draining. You keep crossing my mind lately. Oh yeah! I had my first raw pizza the other night and a whole raw foods convo – totally thinking of you. Miss ya woman xo M
January 29th, 2010 at 5:31 pm
HA Laura – love the “make sure everyone approves of your new game plan”. I have to see that Ted video – thanks for the reminder!
January 29th, 2010 at 5:31 pm
Amen baby, amen.
January 29th, 2010 at 5:32 pm
Beautifully said and thank you for your comment!
January 29th, 2010 at 5:36 pm
Always fresh, thought-provoking, FUN, Marie! So good.
For me, a dependable game-changing stall tactic is POSITIVE OVERWHELM – just keep on learning and becoming really good at lots of things but … well, you know. PO turns into stress-anxiety burnout and too many half-baked plans. We need a solid foundation to stand on, then build from there, I guess. It's hard to choose when you love so many things. Live in the Moment principles – keep being aware of what resonates most, what opps come into your life, I guess. What say you, Marie, about prioritizing – as a multi-talented entrepreneur? p.s. omg – the CUTEST puppy ever.
January 29th, 2010 at 5:37 pm
Hi Marie!
What an amazing article! Damn you're good! I love all the previous posts regarding this as well. It just shows how common this is and how we all do it based around the “Fear” of change and not being comfortable. Thanks for the daily dose of inspiration, you rock!
January 29th, 2010 at 5:39 pm
So funny because I almost hyperventilated when I first decided to get my puppy less than 3 days ago (I had a lifelong story of “I'm not ready for that kind of commitment”) The amount of fear I felt was crazy. Like almost about to pass out before I said the official “YES”. Moments later, I had this 4 pound, little 'bear' cuddled in my arms and was carrying him home. I am so grateful I didn't let that visceral experience of fear overtake me and steal what has been the most INCREDIBLE experience of love, joy, fun and adventure for our family. Great stuff and thanks for you comment.
January 29th, 2010 at 5:42 pm
Lori – you are “deciding” and taking action. That is what makes a gamechanger.
January 29th, 2010 at 5:43 pm
So glad you stopped by Marguerite – and your insight about networking is spot on. The old “forest for the trees” axiom comes to mind.
January 29th, 2010 at 5:45 pm
thanks Sheri and great q: All depends on what stage you're at RE: prioritizing. Give a few more details and I'm happy to offer ideas! xo
January 29th, 2010 at 5:46 pm
You really have posted that give fear the middle finger thing on your wall haven't you Connie?!
January 29th, 2010 at 5:47 pm
Why thank you ever so much! I may have to print out the “damn you're good” line and look at then when I'm not feeling that way
Sarah has done an incredible job putting this together and I'm super honored to be a part. xo M
January 29th, 2010 at 5:47 pm
Love your list Richard – and love watching y ou change your game – awesome!
January 29th, 2010 at 5:49 pm
YEAHHH!! I'd be honored! Shoot a email to info@marieforleo.com when you're ready and we'll rock it
January 29th, 2010 at 5:53 pm
Hi Marie! I met you at Gina's PPP event a few months ago. I totally know what you mean about the “wait and see”. A lot of times I feel like I SHOULD be taking advantage of an opportunity, but something is holding me back – like my deeper self is holding me back.
What do you say to people who may be less “in touch” with themselves and can't really recognize the difference between fear holding them back and it just not being the right thing to do? I feel like even if I am fearful about doing something, if it feels “right”, I immediately start figuring out how to do it. But I talk to a lot of people who have a hard time telling the difference between fear and intuition….what are your thoughts?!
January 29th, 2010 at 5:53 pm
Busted. Number 1 Getting Ready. I've called it “project nesting” or “creative processing”. Now I have another name for it…”stalling tactic”. Number 2 I'm ok with. Number 3 I think I need to lean more into the “discomfort.”
Thanks for the post.
January 29th, 2010 at 5:54 pm
Marie
You make a lovely case for leaping into it all.
My past six months with social media has worked that way. Much can only be learned by doing. The important questions don't exist until you start interacting with it all.
It's important to love the adventure
January 29th, 2010 at 5:54 pm
Ha! Lori! I said that to someone a few weeks ago (about being so far out of my comfort zone that I don't know where it is anymore) & that was BEFORE the past 48 hours! Whoosh! Since we started the $Map program, I can tell you that seriously, I have just decided to dive head first into the fear, confusion, anxiety, discomfort, vomit, etc. & it's been lining things up in such a way that if you had told me 72 hours ago it would have, I'd have called you a liar. Jump in girl! The water can be cold at times (discomfort) but the payoff is SO worth it.
January 29th, 2010 at 5:55 pm
Hey Marie!
You're the best, always saying Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious thangs!
I'm not organized enough to plan anything. Just go for it and see what happens. I often get a name for a program and just go with it, trusting I'll come up with the content before it starts. (he he).
kinda like dance, just go with the flow, go with whichever way your body wants to move.
look forward to your NYC events!
Much thx,
Giulietta, Inspirational Rebel
January 29th, 2010 at 5:55 pm
Great post Lori, and I absolutely agree. The decision to join this “challenge” was one of the best. I, too, have enjoyed reading everyone's responses and “meeting” people who are doing the same. “the real deal”, love it!
January 29th, 2010 at 5:55 pm
Thanks Sarah! It's been AMAZING & Terrifying all at the same time.
Love it! 
January 29th, 2010 at 6:01 pm
Hi Bill! So welcome. Like your turn of phrase – leaning into the discomfort. Great visual there!
January 29th, 2010 at 6:01 pm
Okay, now I've just decided everyone is not in my head, we're all just riding the same trippy mind wavelength! I was just looking at how I keep waiting to get “permission” before I “do”. I had already decided “no more damn it”, but it was nice to see someone else saw/is changing that as well!
January 29th, 2010 at 6:02 pm
thank you so much and YES, whenever my mind wants to “learn” I realize the fastest route for me is to dive in head first and do!
January 29th, 2010 at 6:04 pm
Why thank you SO much Giulietta. I must admit, I have much of the same “going for it” to see what happens thing too. I also know some UBER talented coaches/teachers that wow my socks off….and they too often create on the fly. Very inspiring!
January 29th, 2010 at 6:07 pm
Honestly, this is one of my biggest hang ups. Planning way, way too much. I once told someone, “I'm getting ready to lose some weight.” haha… Immediately we both laughed at the fallacy of the statement.
I think fear is a natural thing that will always be there in anyone. The key is not allowing it to overtake you. We all must learn to deal with the initial fear of doing something new. Some, of course, are much better than others. I once had someone who was a professional speaker (had been for years) tell me, “The day I stop getting a little nervous before I speak is the day I will quit.”
Anyway – I really enjoyed the post, Marie. Thanks for the insight!
January 29th, 2010 at 6:12 pm
What an exciting time you've had. Congratulations Sunshine. Where's your video so I can see it?
January 29th, 2010 at 6:18 pm
I guess I am referring to the beginning stage when you are making a career transition or expansion -similar to when you said no to Wall Street and yes to coaching and dance. When you have so many interests, I guess you just dip your toe in the water (as Lisa Wilder said) and keep doing, implementing, experimenting. How did you prioritize/experience your transition so that you were always on the road to success. Knowing when to drop something or keep pursuing it? Every time you share your experiences on this, it always helps immensely. TY, Marie
January 29th, 2010 at 6:19 pm
LOL – now my challenge is to be patient… not one of my better qualities
January 29th, 2010 at 6:19 pm
The MTV story was an excellent way of making your point, it really 'drove it home.'
Years ago I used some John Cleese training videos in a workshop I was facilitating. The ones that struck a chord and people remembered were when he portrayed the opposite behavior of the points the video he was intending to make. The technique was effective here too, especially related to emotions we avoid.
January 29th, 2010 at 6:20 pm
Sounds like we're diving in together, Sunshine, in many ways! So let's go
January 29th, 2010 at 6:21 pm
Hearing this made something totally click:
'When I say I’m getting ready to do something, that’s code for, “I have no intention to do this, but I want to sound like I do.”'
It's so true.
I think it has to do with the perfectionist in us– and the perfectionist in us is a big obstacle.
When I face this I remember my dad who is the king of just going for it, saying Yes, and figuring out the HOW along the way. Getting hung up on the HOW is my sign that I need to just step in and DO. If the WHY is in line with my higher purpose than I trust I will learn what I need to to get the job done.
Thanks for your insight into this for me
January 29th, 2010 at 6:25 pm
You're right, Michele, about this challenge being one of the best decisions we've made. I know that you are going through some huge changes in your life, and I'm glad that you are finding the same kind of support and encouragement here that I am.
If you don't already, you should subscribe to Marie's blog. She is amazing like Sarah is, and she has taught me so much. She really is one of two people that helped me see things in a different way so that I was able to decide to make such big changes in my life and go for things I've only dreamed of in the past.
“When the student is ready, the teacher appears.” Or, as in my case, “teachers,” plural, because I have found many over the last several months.
Follow your passion and follow your heart, and you will be amazed at how quickly things begin to change!
January 29th, 2010 at 6:30 pm
The whole subject brings to mind that old Chinese saying, “What's the use of running…if we're on the wrong road?!”
January 29th, 2010 at 6:39 pm
Thanks Lori, appreciate your kind and helpful words!
January 29th, 2010 at 6:51 pm
Thanks Cherry!
It's been a wild ride for sure.
Here's the link for the vid (warning, my friend didn't aim very well so I have no head) lol
http://sunshineboatright.com/home/2010/01/raw-f...
Feel free to comment if you like (or even if you don't).
January 29th, 2010 at 6:56 pm
As usual this was such a helpful reminder, Marie. Particularly the piece about avoiding the fear and discomfort – I became quite good at running from those feelings. But now I am slowing down and feeling them and jumping in to get uncomfortable way more often. Thanks for all you do!! xoxo Melissa
January 29th, 2010 at 7:00 pm
Dear Marie,
Your real world insights are powerful – especially about not spending too long 'getting ready' (that's me!), underestimating ourselves (that's me!) and dealing with fear, confusion and so on (avoiding that is me!). Very timely and wise,
thank you.
January 29th, 2010 at 7:01 pm
Fear (the natural kind we all have when doing awesome, new things!) is usually mixed with an inherent sense of expansion and excitement. Something in you naturally opens up; feels more alive; inspired AND scared shitless.
When intuition to NOT do something arises, your body contracts; almost as if you have a natural knowing or retraction occurring. It's hard to explain, but it's as though your being within draws back; shakes it's head “no”.
Subtle, but if you slow down enough and be honest about your response to the questions, “How do I feel about this? Do I feel expansive or contracted?” you'll always get your **right** answer.
January 29th, 2010 at 6:19 pm
Social comments and analytics for this post…
This post was mentioned on Twitter by ramartijr: RT @sarahrobinson How Not To Change Your Game [Day 19 - 30 Days to Changing Your Game] http://is.gd/7igoM...
January 29th, 2010 at 7:44 pm
Hey Andrew! Thank you and YES. Fear is 100% natural and we all have it…and likely will till we die. We are all a mass of atoms vibrating at different rates constantly. And one of those natural vibrations is what we've identified as “fear” and somehow, made it “bad” or “wrong” or “undesirable.” It's as natural a vibration as joy, excitement and calm.
January 29th, 2010 at 7:47 pm
You are so welcome
January 29th, 2010 at 7:48 pm
Hey Melissa – thanks SO much for swinging by!!
January 29th, 2010 at 7:50 pm
Hey Cherry! Thank you so very much. Pretty cool and yes, sometimes it's helpful to see the opposite or what NOT to do
January 29th, 2010 at 7:50 pm
Sounds like I'd really like your Dad!! Mine is the same way. Thank YOU so much for your comment!
January 29th, 2010 at 7:52 pm
very true Arlo!
January 29th, 2010 at 8:04 pm
My first priority always was to pay my bills and handle my responsibilities (and have enough $$ for fun
And any time I wasn't officially “working”to pay bills, I was working on my dreams. Dance, writing, building my business, speaking, coaching, etc. And little by little I started getting paid for what I loved (dance, writing, business, speaking, etc.) When you're doing something you really love, the only reason to drop it is if you no longer love it and it stops bringing you joy. I've actually never stopped something for any other reason!
January 29th, 2010 at 8:25 pm
I hate following directions….so this advice you've given is perfect. Thank you for joining us!
January 29th, 2010 at 8:34 pm
Love this practical answer …. *and* this: When you're doing something you really love, the only reason to drop it is if you no longer love it and it stops bringing you joy. TY, M.
January 29th, 2010 at 8:42 pm
Ha!! Love it Mark
Thank you for having me!
January 29th, 2010 at 8:47 pm
Thanks so much for sharing this Marie & Giulietta! As a speaker/trainer, I have often created workshops on the fly or have gone into them with only one idea that I knew I wanted them to get… and they have turned out to be amazing, flowing and fun! The reason I thanked you for saying this is because I still have to battle my “small self chatter” that tells me doing it this way is “unprofessional” and “people who are really successful spend a lot of time planning and preparing exactly what they will say, do, etc.”. Sometimes I need to do that too… but often that is when “struggle” enters the picture and “fun” leaves. Thanks again!
January 29th, 2010 at 8:59 pm
Yes – this also goes for “rules” like how early you should get up everyday; how “hard” you should work; how you “should” speak as a professional
January 29th, 2010 at 8:59 pm
Hey Writergrrl! Sorry things didn't turn out for you the way you had hoped yesterday… hope you still drank the champagne with a spirit of celebration simply for having gone for it! Talk about having a game-changer in the midst of game-changing, huh?
January 29th, 2010 at 9:02 pm
Thanks for making this comment Marguerite! I am definitely guilty of that, i.e., so busy making plans for and looking for NEW business (or creating NEW programs) that I miss the opportunities that are already right in front of me!
January 29th, 2010 at 9:06 pm
WOW! You go Sunshine! Sounds like you're REALLY coming alive!!!! What an amazing 48 hours!
January 29th, 2010 at 9:11 pm
I loved that. And I think CRYING is the greatest thing everrrrrr.
January 29th, 2010 at 9:14 pm
I don't have plans, I have ideas. It's much better that way, ideas are much more flexible. Of course I married a mechanical engineer, so she likes plans. We have fun discussions sometimes.
January 29th, 2010 at 9:20 pm
Yay Sunshine!!!
I love this post too – although I read it as diversion from the task I am SUPPOSED TO BE DOING. I just found it encouraging to come hear everyone's stories so I can go work on my details.
I've been saying yes to so many radio interviews that I can't stop now. My husband nearly keeled over at lunch yesterday when he realized I'm launching a program in 2 weeks that only has module 1 finished. (It happens to be called 'Help- My Husband is Naked and It's Grossing Me Out!” He doesn't know that part.)
Anyway – lets just keep going!
January 29th, 2010 at 9:20 pm
The fact that you attempted the life-changing move and went after it with such gusto is awesome. It will serve as good practice for the next time around.
AWESOME!
January 29th, 2010 at 9:24 pm
I love your total transparency during this 30 day process Bill. Don't take this the wrong way, but the way you word your busted's always makes me laugh.
January 29th, 2010 at 9:28 pm
Morgan!!! Thrilled you stopped by today.
January 29th, 2010 at 9:28 pm
And your “I can” for today is????!!
January 29th, 2010 at 9:37 pm
Thanks Marie, Teresa & Sarah for the well wishes…
Honestly, I was stunned that it didn't work out; however, for the first time I was able to fully recognize and appreciate my disappointment – and then Move Forward! I know that this sharp change in attitude after a stumble is totally down to my time here – the Experts AND the Tribe members have already given me so much. THAT is awesome! And, yeah, my new M.O. is to celebrate the resounding successes as well as the disappointments because both have lessons to teach…And I'll take any opportunity to revel in the fact that I'm following my heart!
January 29th, 2010 at 9:57 pm
Thanks Teresa!
& it just keeps getting better. Just got off of phone w/friend who helped me flesh out a totally kick ass somethin-somethin for me to offer to those I'm put here to help/serve! This is one roller coaster ride I'm not asking off of!
January 29th, 2010 at 9:57 pm
Seeking approval is HUGE for me… As in, I notice myself doing it far too often. Just recently I realized how much I do it with my boyfriend, feeling like I need to have his approval to make changes in my life… And feeling like I need to tell him about those changes and what I'm learning, but censor it, tone it down a bit, put it in a way that *I think* he's more likely to accept… How silly! I already know he's crazy about me, and loves that I'm constantly seeking to grow and be more me…
January 29th, 2010 at 9:57 pm
Ok — there is a lot of damn good wisdom packed into that post. I had to slow myself down, focus and do a couple of rereads.
Crap, it is so true. No way around the fear and growing by just “doing.”
I have to admit that my default is to go into “research” mode whenever I am facing something new. And there always is that time when I just have to gulp and then make the call, post the article, ask for the answer, stick my neck out, or just get down the black diamond somehow.
Marie –I'd love to hear what is stretching you these days. You seem extremely fearless to me!
January 29th, 2010 at 10:21 pm
Gina,
I think the best diversions are the ones that inspire us the most. All I have that I'm doing right now, this whole series is one of great things for me to work on/think/ponder/act on, but it's also my “Break-time” from other work as well.
You can SO do this launch! (Maybe get a friend/team member to help you to take some of the load off?)
And most definitely! Let's just keep going!
January 29th, 2010 at 10:24 pm
I don't think I have ever met or talked to you before – so I am not sure how you were able to write down exactly what I always do! LOL
I am really good at coming up with plans, making charts, and talking about what I am going to do… and stepping out of my 'comfort zone' and doing those things that make my heart race just scare me like they do everyone else. This series and posts like this are showing me that if I want to get anywhere – I need to STOP doing this!
Here is another things you can do to not change your game… make it look like you are changing it… I think everyone out there has done this at one point… especially if you talk about it or make up any plans and make them 'public' – you can do half-assed things that look like you're making progress or have done a step along your path, but in reality, all you have done is put up a few smoke and mirrors along the way… or am I the only one who has done that??
January 29th, 2010 at 10:26 pm
Way to go! My aim is to get there! I definitely tend to think things to death to point of paralysis! #yayforyou
January 29th, 2010 at 10:26 pm
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January 29th, 2010 at 10:27 pm
There's many that will say the “failure to plan is a plan to fail”, and I do think there are certain things in life that do need to be planned out. However, I know that I can often become stuck in the planning phase. Sometimes, you just need to go and do … see what works and what doesn't. It's better to need to make a u-turn and start over than to lose all that valuable time planning.
January 29th, 2010 at 10:27 pm
I can only imagine those discussions!
January 29th, 2010 at 10:30 pm
Congratulations! I have found myself on the verge of tears many times over the last 2 weeks – it is amazing how that happens when you realize you need to be doing something different! I love your list and think it is an awesome start that will get you where you want to go…
January 29th, 2010 at 10:31 pm
This is so great Marie…and thank you Sarah for inviting this cheeky sage to contribute to your blog. Another way to not change your game that I like to participate in when I'm stalling the big shift is asking as many people as possible for their opinion. It works like this: I get a hankering that I want to change something. I call ten psychics, have a couple of coaching appointments, ask all my close friends and family members, plus consult at least one to two decks of tarot cards. Then after all of that I'm often totally confused by all the information that I have completely lost sight of what I might think. There you have it…completely and elegantly stalled by input. Thanks for letting me share another stalling red flag!
January 29th, 2010 at 10:37 pm
I agree – I tend to put projects that I have done off, hide them or destroy them if they are not perfect. It is one of the main reasons that I have not been able to complete personal writing tasks in the past… Instead of just writing and getting the story out, Every sentence has to be perfect before I move on to the next one… Just coming in here every day, making comments, and hit post before pouring over every word (and not worrying if I sound stupid) has been a big help…
January 29th, 2010 at 10:45 pm
Marie,
Great post. I don't have a problem with #1, I usually jump right in. Then knowing that I don't have a #2, it's like 'what am I doing?', then #3 takes over and I'm asking myself , 'what was I thinking?' and go into froze mode. So I need to plunge into the 'no plan' and go with the flow to change what comes, and just chill out on #3.
Thanks
January 29th, 2010 at 10:49 pm
Wait and See! That is a classic! sometimes it helps though…
Sorry to hear that your plans didn't work out – but I love your attitude about taking the next opportunity that scares you! YEAH!
January 29th, 2010 at 10:57 pm
The razor's edge is the place to be! I think most of us – I know I have in many instances – feared even jumping on the edge – but I know that when you are are there and jump over – it is the best feeling in the wold!
January 29th, 2010 at 11:03 pm
Time for me to be real… this was a great post, Marie and it hit me at many levels (including my gut). I've been thinking about what I wanted to say in reply for awhile now… hoping the nausea in my stomach would go away. It hasn't… so I might as well go for it.
Your post and all the comments people have made combined with yesterday's post and comments is stirring things up for me BIG time.. including some things I'm not really sure I WANT stirred up. The past couple of days I've noticed that I am on the verge of a pattern I've done much of my life… the pattern I call (with bugles playing) “RETREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!” In many ways, I AM changing my game and jumping in before I'm ready and operating without a plan (especially in terms of these 30 days, the whole Social Media thing and in terms of putting myself out there and being part of a community/relating with people who are not my clients.) I've been willing to stand in the place of “I don't know hos” and “I've never done this” and “I might be wrong” and “I might look bad” and “I might make a mistake”, etc.
And yet – reading your post and the comments today – I am starting to wonder if I am REALLY changing my game or just putting new window dressing on the same game. (You know, like the 31 flavors of Baskin Robbins – it may be a different flavor but it's still ice cream!) And just having that thought come into my head is scaring the heck out of me! Because right on the heels of admitting that possibility, I have to notice the other rumblings inside of me… kind of like earthquake tremors… rumblings of dreams and desires I've kept buried and hidden (even from myself), new thoughts of “maybe I can” or “what if I did?” or “oooh, that would be fun or so cool” or (and this one scares me most), “I'd really love to do XX” when “XX is so NOT related to anything I'm doing now and I don't see how to do it and I'm not ready and I don't have a plan and I need to pay my bills and people may laugh and I might fail and, the big one, “who do I think I am?”
So – as great as your post was, I have to confess… one part of me HATED it! And that part of me is the part that WANTS to stay in the “getting ready to change” place and WANTS to keep making plans and sticking with what is familiar, where I get to LOOK GOOD (or at least think I do) and have a sense of control (even if I know that's an illusion) and where I can “talk” about change and “think” about change and “pretend” to change without actually having to jump off that cliff… (or even the curb!)
That's the part of me that is wanting to RETREAT right now… to say I've gotten enough from the first 19 days and I need to absorb that and put that into action (i.e.. more planning and getting ready for action) so I don't need to come back for the next 11. That's the part of me that is terrified to hang out with people like you and the others in this game who are ACTUALLY changing…where just “talking about change” won't fly. That's the part of me that says (again) “Who do you think you are?” and “You're WAY out of your league here” and “If they only knew…” T that's the part of me that hides behind the facades of “everything's fine” and “I'm doing great” and “Be positive”…
Your post so hit me in the gut, I came REALLY close to (1) not even commenting (that would have been full-blown RETREAT and contraction) or (2) commenting in a “surface-level”, “sound good”, “fooling myself while trying to fool you” kind of way. In other words, lying to “look good” and stay “in my head” so as to AVOID what's really going on inside of me.
I wish I could finish my comments by saying that, as terrified as I feel right now, I also feel excited. But to say that would be another “looking good LIE”. Right now, in this minute, I want to run. I want to withdraw. I want to use my busy-ness as an excuse to not change. I want to wait until I'm ready and I DEFINITELY want to plan… because then I get to think I'm changing and THINKING I'm changing makes me feel good and look good (or so I think) … and I don't REALY have to change at all.
Right now, I don't want to open up that long-locked door inside of me that has kept my dreams and desires (the ones that are real “standing out” game-changers) tucked safely away – I want to use my “busy-ness” and “responsibilities – including paying the bills and not letting anyone down” as an excuse to avoid them. Right now, I WANT to “check out” and retreat to what I know and is familiar and that I can “wrap my brain around” and feel in control about.
That's where I'm at right now. And you'll notice that, despite all of that, I AM HERE! The bugler is calling “retreat” and I'm NOT going! I'm here… still in the game (the 30-day game and my own), putting myself out here, telling the truth that doesn't “look good” or isn't the “right answer”. And when I've finished this post, I'm going to take another action that is one more step in the game-changing I'm taking on right now. And then I will be here again tomorrow for Day 20.
That, in itself, is a game-changer for me… I've obeyed the bugler's summons of RETREAT all my life. And I'm really proud of myself for it… in fact, having written this now and told the truth, I even think I hear (in the distance) another bugler playing something completely different… CHARGE!!!!!!!!
Thank you… all of you. Marie, Sarah and this “tribe”…
January 29th, 2010 at 11:24 pm
Ok, wow! Between Elizabeth's post yesterday and Maria's today I'm really getting called to the mat. I am the queen of #1 & #2. I guess I have to stop planning the new page for my site that will reveal my book project (which is exactly what I've been doing) and just write it how I feel it and put it out there.
Thanks Maria for calling it what it is and making me push into the fear.
Thanks too, to all of you who were so supportive about my book project. I'll post the link here as soon as I have it up. It will be tonight! If you know you have a story you want to share, email a brief overview and your contact information to stories@reignitingromance.com
January 29th, 2010 at 11:33 pm
Love it Marie — esp. the branson quote — that one's going in my fave quotes list! As yoda himself famously said, “there is no try — there is only do!”
January 29th, 2010 at 11:54 pm
Leanne,
Continue daring to be yourself and you can do it. I try to remind myself that I'm making room for new amazing relationships that are more in tune w/ my core values and where I'm going with my life.
I completely understand how hard it is to move out of those relationships you've outgrown. I'm going through it as well. Let me know if you ever need a shoulder.
January 30th, 2010 at 12:24 am
Thanks for your willingness to be vulnerable. You're really in the feelings and I know when I genuinely feel them as opposed to intellectualizing my feelings I move thru them a lot faster. Otherwise I'm just letting some steam out of the pot which keeps me from exploding but the water never stops roiling.
January 30th, 2010 at 12:35 am
As usual, Marie, laser like and brilliant! Feeling those uncomfortable feelings – a sure sign you're on to something good!! I've just noticed for myself, how fear pretends it's responsibility (as in I can't do something that would require stepping up becasue I have to responsible and take acre of all tehse other things first) – never realised how much that has stopped me changing my game before.
Thanks for the reminder – and great series concept Sarah, thanks!!
January 30th, 2010 at 1:01 am
Wow! Amazing posts – A big shout out to Marie Forleo from Brazil!
I really love the Fear bit – That's a real dousy for me because it can feel like a thousand horses pulling at you. One thing I've found is that to REALLY change my game, I need to switch activities and let the fear dissipate (not fight it, but let it be & dissipate).
- Fear in business: DANGER – for me it's always bad to act out of fear & far, far better to “outlast” the fear until I feel calm enough to respond to an email. Of course, when you're at a meeting & have to be “on”, I recently discovered that if I just let the other people talk and me listen to them, somehow the fear is dissipated & I can respond appropriately.
- Fear during action: here's when you're afraid of jumping off the high dive, and, well it's good to get over the hump & do it!
Fear in general – well, Marie, you once told me “Fear is excitement with the brakes on” & I LOVE that quote.
Here's to you & all the peeps out there for the way cool posts !
Ana Bloom
January 30th, 2010 at 1:06 am
Ok, a bunch of things, first and foremost, it feels really weird to miss a day cuz I feel really out of the loop.
Now onto today, A lot of this resonated with me, but the one that impacted me the most was #3 I think, the emotions. I carry life long negativity patterns that dodge my every step. All those negative life messages, I hear in my head constantly. They debilitate me. Four years ago this June, I left my x husband and my game changed radically, mainly by force. That move of going back to finish a BA degree and then obtain an MA while walking my children through losing their father all the while working part time terrified me. I met it with much trepidation and excitement at the same time. It's been nigh on four years and I am exhausted. I find this getting old and its hard to keep focussed on the end goal. Out of m y exhaustion, I find myself stagnating. And then at the end of 2009, I found that I was largely dissatisfied with where my was. I made a decisio0n to do what I could to change things up a the beginning of year and then I got hit over the head by life in a big way. Bigger crises and bigger emergencies occurred which had no conceivable way to wade through. So what did I do? I shut down. I isolated and I went into depression. I tried self care in those moments, and to give myself some grace and mercy. Then earlier this week, I came full force with myself and I asked myself one question: what would a professional woman do?
In my head I have a vision as to what a professional woman would do and how she would act. I also surrounded myself with more positive people that I could lean on? The result? My recording project took a major leap forward, I found a pianist to write for me, and I am auditioning to sing our national anthem here where I live for some ceremonial events.
For me the key things are:
1) ask myself that one key question, what would a professional do in this situation?
2) find people to lean on when I cannot walk by myself anymore
3) make sure I give myself tons of mercy and grace
4) find positivity in whatever way I can
5) meditate on the positive action steps I have taken
January 30th, 2010 at 1:09 am
OMG – Gina, totally priceless title! ROCK it woman
January 30th, 2010 at 1:15 am
Awesome Shelly! Especially important for us writers. The most destructive habit is to edit WHILE you write. Anytime I'm writing a post, article or sales letter, I try my best just to bang it out without the “editor” hat on. Takes daily practice, but it works!
January 30th, 2010 at 1:20 am
Thanks Leanne! Yes – but you know what's cool? Every time you step it up, you'll either inspire those around you to step up too OR you'll make space for new people who are up to playing at your level. Win-win all around
Keep going woman!
January 30th, 2010 at 1:30 am
So true! Thanks, Marie!
January 30th, 2010 at 1:33 am
Hey Heather! Thank you so very much. Research can certainly be useful (i do it whenever embarking on a new adventure – especially in terms of travel and technology!) but that research often includes phone calls, consultations and other “actiony” stuff that rolls right into dates/deadlines etc. So research is sometimes a big piece of the puzzle
What's stretching me these days: wow – the list is kind of endless. In business we've hit 3X the amount of clients in our highest end program from last year; completely overhauled our backend systems; and are now launching two new programs within about a month apart
LOTS of challenges – none of which I would trade for the world! Totally exciting, scary and fun stuff.
Personally, raising a 16 year old step son (that's an adventure all itself!), eating mostly vegan/vegetarian these days and we've just added an 11 week old puppy to the mix. So those things combined? Call me Gumby
On being fearless: Not by a long shot. Loads of fear in this body, baby. But when things get moving like they are now, I literally don't have time to hang out there. Too many peeps (and a pup
counting on me to keep it all going. Thanks for your comments and awesome question!
January 30th, 2010 at 1:39 am
Hey Shelly! You hit on a REALLY important point here. The “talk your idea to death before you do anything” mistake. I've had several conversations about this lately. Where you talk about something soooo much; experience soooo much excitement about it – you unwittingly trick yourself into having EXPERIENCED it already and then all the juice to take any action goes away.
You've lived it so fully in your excitement, thoughts and conversations that you feel oddly “complete” as though it already happened. But it hasn't. There is no result. No reality. And then you beat yourself up for not going for it.
It's weird, common and something we all need to watch out for.
So no, you are NOT the only one who has done that
January 30th, 2010 at 1:42 am
Hey Sue-Anne! Without a doubt plans are necessary for many aspects of our lives AND you are so right about getting stuck in the planning phase. I'm with you on the U-turn. I like being in action and having consistent momentum behind me
January 30th, 2010 at 1:47 am
Hey Gorgeous Woman!! HA – love what you wrote here. An especially dangerous stalling tactic for those of us addicted to growth, feedback, personal development, Goddess cards, self-help books and coaching
Speaking of all that awesome Magic, I'm sending out good vibes to the Universe so we can have an AMAZING summer together in Sag. xoxo M
January 30th, 2010 at 1:48 am
Hey Susan! I love it. When you wrote the word “plunge” I got this killer visual of you (even though I don't know you
jumping off a diving board into a crystal blue pool. thanks your comment and inspiring an awesome image!
January 30th, 2010 at 1:57 am
Teresa. You are beautiful, courageous, wise, witty, honest, real and most definitely someone I WANT TO HANG OUT WITH.
I have no idea what your deep dreams and desires are that are rumbling to the surface, but I'm clear you are to move ahead. Breathe life into those dreams. Take whatever steps are necessary to bring them into reality. Now.
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for sharing yourself so brilliantly here. I'm truly moved and honored by your response. You've so inspired my night
xo
M
January 30th, 2010 at 1:59 am
Hi Rachel! (It's Marie vs. Maria …easy mistake me being very Italian and all
Yes – get it out there girl. The great thing about the Internet is that you can always revise your site. Rock on!
January 30th, 2010 at 2:00 am
And THAT Satya, is one of my favorite quotes! I love me some little green man guru wisdom
January 30th, 2010 at 2:01 am
Hey Ginny!! So glad you stopped by here. Truly brilliant (and you've crossed my mind so many times lately
Hope to catch up soon xox M
January 30th, 2010 at 2:02 am
Obrigado Ana and thank you SO much for your awesome shout out and comments!!
January 30th, 2010 at 2:06 am
Hi Kristie! Congratulations on having such a powerful breakthrough by going the Pro route. And HUGE props to you for staying the course when things were rough. We're all cheering for you, can't wait to hear more on your project and I love your question #1
January 30th, 2010 at 2:12 am
ah my friend. how incredibly courageous you are – in more ways than you even know. Watching you push yourself, risk and be so brave…..such an amazing experience. Just do the next indicated step. Don't look up; don't look down. Just find the next handhold. You can do it!!
January 30th, 2010 at 2:14 am
you were much missed – and welcome back!!
January 30th, 2010 at 2:44 am
Thanks Marie,
That is so true and fantastic that you're saying it how it is! You're an inspiration to us all.
January 30th, 2010 at 2:56 am
Thanks Sarah… I hear you and appreciate the support and encouragement. And another part of me just wants you to answer one MINOR question for me – “Just WHAT is the IT that you say I can do?”
I know that I'm the only one who can answer that… and that's part of the game-changing too. Too often in the past I've had people tell me “I can do it” and I've then proceeded to prove them right… but the IT that they said I could do was not always the right IT for ME to do. Grabbing the next handhold now… 
(That's the symbol for taking a deep breath!)
January 30th, 2010 at 3:02 am
Aw SH*T Marie… now you've stirred the pot even more!
First… thanks for your acknowledgment… it REALLY is nice to hear and receive… and what's more important is that I had already acknowledged myself so didn't NEED the reassurance from you or anyone else that I have so desperately needed in the past.
But your words “definitely someone I WANT TO HANG OUT WITH” had my stomach turn. Like – I love the IDEA of that but don't have a clue HOW to do that! (And then there's that little voice inside my head screaming, “NO! You can't hang out with her because then she'll see who you really are… and the bugle call of RETREAT starts sounding in the background.)
So – educate me… what would that look like and what's my next step? (Not TOO big, please!)
Thanks again… I think I'll go grab some Pepto-Bismal now! (Just kidding!)
January 30th, 2010 at 3:02 am
Thank you Cherry!
January 30th, 2010 at 3:13 am
DAMN! I have all of those rules in my book too!!!!
January 30th, 2010 at 3:15 am
I'm happy for you… you sound so excited!
As for me… I HATE rollercoasters so I'm glad for you that THIS rollercoaster is one you want to be on!!!
January 30th, 2010 at 3:36 am
thank you Sarah, that means a ton to me
January 30th, 2010 at 3:49 am
Based on what you say here, I am definitely NOT not changing my game. Looks like I'm all in — at least for today.
January 30th, 2010 at 4:33 am
Just so you know – I found myself shaking my head in agreement the WHOLE time I was reading your post!
January 30th, 2010 at 5:38 am
Thanks Shelly! Yeah, no sitting back anymore – I broke that 'move through the scary' barrier, so I'm gonna make the most of the momentum!!
January 30th, 2010 at 8:52 am
[...] « How Not To Change Your Game [Day 19 - 30 Days to Changing Your Game] [...]
January 30th, 2010 at 2:36 pm
Ha! Well no need for major Bismal now. My next live event will be in October of 2010. (of course, I'm often roaming around the West Village of NYC and bump into people all the time, but I don't think that's what you meant.) If you're on my mailing list, you'll know the scoop well in advance to come out and play if you so choose.
Now if that's what you want, the only thing to do is mark your calendar for Oct 23rd ish and ensure nothing else fills the spot
xo M
January 30th, 2010 at 5:52 pm
Teresa – you are one brave lady!!!
I was particularly hit by your refusal to claim to be “excited” by all that is going on when that is not true for you.
And congratulations on still being here – and I mean REALLY being here! – on Day 20!
'cos I got behind on Friday, and it was our agreement that we would both be here that got me back into catch-up!
January 30th, 2010 at 5:59 pm
Marie – you got me!
I'm just noticing that when I'm “stuck in my comfort zone”, I get literally stuck!!!
What I mean is, I stop moving.
When I used to get really stuck, I could sit for hours playing solitaire, reading, watching TV – literally hours could go by as I resisted doing that “next thing”.
And it's only when I finally MOVED – to a different room, or maybe outside, or change the distraction (!) -that the stuckness went.
January 30th, 2010 at 7:09 pm
Ugh, I'm so good at stalling. One of my favorites is cleaning. I think, “Well, if I just clean up this patch of clutter around my work space then I'll feel more motivated to work…but all it seems to lead to is more motivation to throw more things out, and there goes my work time. And I do a lot of thinking, and telling people I'm thinking. As in, “I'm thinking about going back to school…” Now, that doesn't get me enrolled, does it? That doesn't get me researching how I'm going to pay for graduate school, or certification, or whatever the heck I decide to take once I'm done thinking. My heart knows what it wants to do, but that's big and scary. So I think…and clean…
January 30th, 2010 at 10:56 pm
Thanks friend! Glad you're here with me!
January 30th, 2010 at 10:58 pm
Hey Shelly! Thanks for saying that… although (for your sake) I would hope that you weren't agreeing with everything I wrote! Congrats to us all for being here, huh?
January 30th, 2010 at 10:59 pm
Thanks Marie! I'm going to check that out and will get on your mailing list… and maybe see you in October!
Thanks again for really stirring things up so I could dig down deep yesterday…
T.
January 31st, 2010 at 8:57 am
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by SarahRobinson, SarahRobinson, Michelle Mangen, Michelle Mangen, Leesa Barnes and others. Leesa Barnes said: RT @sarahrobinson: How Not To Change Your Game [Day 19 - 30 Days to Changing Your Game] http://bit.ly/9ycXdf [...]
January 31st, 2010 at 2:52 pm
TIO, follow the gut and drop it like its hot.
TIO has allowed me to move, very quickly, past the mundane everyday tasks that seemed take up so much time and energy. TIO'n this stuff opens the way for me in the Game Change realm, M.
B/C of TIO I can focus on the really juicy game changing projects for my personal/business life.
Following the gut has truly transformed my entire process in business and personal decision making. Where I would ponder like the Thinking Man for eons, now I have the confidence to make solid decisions in moments.
Drop it like its hot, well that too has given me the way to get over myself and situations that used to baffle me.
Holla!
PEACE
JR
January 31st, 2010 at 8:55 pm
Oh, a really good stalling tactic is to “have a snack first”! a) it wastes time b) loads you up on calories c) effectively distracts you from any thought you had…
February 3rd, 2010 at 1:03 am
thanks for you, http://www.gucciwell.com
February 4th, 2010 at 5:07 am
I love this article “How Not to Change Your Game” and I've sent it to a friend of mine who is living his change and can totally relate. For me, yes, it goes the same. Three and a half years ago I decided to be a musician. And yes, there was a life altering moment, serendipitous, unplanned that planted this seed of possibility in my head. And whoa… the emotions… everything and I mean EVERYTHING comes up i.e. fears. So it's been a back and forth thing for me. Right now I'm on the upswing, finding and using tools to get me back on track (yes I fell off!). But I love the edge, where the adventure is, where I become more and more myself in my expression and I'm just so aware and so alive! I could relate to everything in this article and the last 2 paragraphs are invaluable for me as I find it challenging to have faith and trust that I'm doing the right thing and on the right path i.e. will be financially secure. Currently I'm making a part time living doing what I love and my brother is financially supporting me. I guess this is an indicator that I'm on the right path, that I have this support… I would really like to not be in this position of need, however.