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Why would you try so hard to fit in? [Day 9 - 30 Days to Changing Your Game]

Today is Day 9 of 30 Days to Changing Your Game. Mary Kay Morgan gave us some serious marching orders yesterday, didn’t she?! Lots to learn from Tiger Woods. Today, my friend and marketer extraordinaire Shelly Kramer challenges us to be who we are, uncover what we REALLY want, and GO FOR IT!

Why would you try so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out?

by Shelley Kramer http://www.twitter.com/ShellyKramer)

I saw that quote the other day – words attributed to Yoda, in The Empire Strikes Back and was immediately inspired byyoda Why would you try so hard to fit in? [Day 9   30 Days to Changing Your Game] it. It’s true you know. We were all born “originals.” Unique, perfect, capable of great things, if only we allow ourselves to imagine those things and then take a tiny step further and actually do those things.

But sometimes, somewhere along the way, things change. An education gets interrupted, a young wife gets pregnant, someone dies and we need to step up. Sometimes we just get locked into a job. Maybe it pays well, maybe it makes us feel secure, and maybe, over time, we lose confidence in our ability to move on, make a change, and do something different. We get complacent. We lose our confidence. We lose our game. Sometimes we even get scared. And the more that people depend on us, the more scared we get.

Trust me, I’ve lived all those things. I was the person who got married at 20 for no good reason, unexpectedly pregnant two months into the marriage, divorced 6 years later while in the middle of working on my undergraduate degree. I know about life throwing us curve balls. My whole life has been one curve ball after the next.

But here’s what else I know. Complacency doesn’t inspire greatness. Being settled, afraid to rock the boat, filled with dreams but afraid to take them on or feeling as if so many other people depend on you that it really isn’t possible to take a chance – those are all things I get. But I’ll say it again – in case you weren’t listening: Complacency doesn’t inspire greatness. And it rarely inspires great happiness. And I probably don’t need to mention that it rarely inspires great success.

Here’s what else I know. Squaring your shoulders, taking a deep breath and taking a risk is the surest way to the path to happiness. For you and for the people who depend on you. Humans have a funny way of behaving when life depends on us. We tend to make things happen.

I remember when I first started my consulting business, quite by accident, in fact. I was a single mom with two teenagers and scared to death. But there was no one to provide for us – no one but me. I remember taking phone calls from prospective clients who asked me “Well, can you do this? What about x, y and z?” And every time they asked me those questions I said “Well, sure. Of course I can.” And you know what – it worked! They believed in me. And because they believed in me, I believed in myself. And when I didn’t know exactly how to do what they’d asked me to do, I was smart enough to be able to pick up the phone and call someone who did, and recruit them to collaborate with me.

Another example from my own life happened within the last few years. My husband, in casual conversation one night, mentioned that he always wanted to get his MBA, and was disappointed in himself that he’d let that chance pass him by. It was at a time when his company was paying 100% of the costs for an MBA program and, as we talked further, I realized the only thing holding him back was him. And his supposition that his MBA quest was a luxury that we couldn’t really afford – either financially or otherwise. We were expecting twins, had bought more house than we could really afford, I wasn’t working, we were learning to live without my income – oh, and we had another house that we owned that we’d tried unsuccessfully to sell in a down real estate market. In short, we were poor and busy. And yet, it was his dream to have an MBA.

So, we sucked it up, tightened the belt a bit further, he went without much sleep for two years and studied his ass off. Honestly, I don’t know how he did it. Oh, and I forgot to mention his job required him to travel 85% of the time, often leaving on Sundays, returning on Thursday afternoon in time to make it to his weekly MBA class. But he did it. And the kids and I managed just fine. Lo and behold, we even managed to pay our bills in the process. And, before we knew it, two years had passed and he had an MBA in hand. Dream –> Reality.

Those are my life examples – and I know you have your own. And while they’re different, they’re really the same. They almost always are.

So here’s my game changing challenge to you. Believe in yourself. Whether you have a job or you’re looking for one. Whether you have a family or not. Dig down deep within your heart and ask yourself what really inspires you. What you really, really want to spend your life and your time and your talents and your energies doing. Talk with your wife, your boyfriend, your kids or your parents – and tell them your dream. Ask them to believe in you and support you as you set out on the journey of believing in yourself.

Remember – or maybe learn anew, what it’s like to be anxious, afraid, nervous. Take a chance. Take a risk. Trust in your abilities. And, remember, as Yoda once said, “There is no ‘try’.”

sk red  150x150 Why would you try so hard to fit in? [Day 9   30 Days to Changing Your Game]Shelly Kramer is the founder of V3 Integrated Marketing and founder of Kramer & Co, both full service marketing firms headquartered in Kansas City, MO, and doing business with clients all over the world. In addition to her marketing savvy, she’s a sought after consultant and speaker, well-known for her “keeping it real” persona. She’s irreverent, irrepressible and possessed of a wicked sense of humor.  In short, when she’s in the room, you know it. But seriously, she knows her stuff.  A 20+ year marketing veteran, she’s a strategist, brand builder, deep thinker, information junkie, communicator extraordinaire, buzz builder and lover of all things related to social media.  She’s real in every sense of the word and it only takes a few moments in her presence to sense that.  Shelly’s adept at helping individuals and brands find their voice in the realm of new media and understand the importance of diving into this ever-changing new world.  Her practical, no-nonsense approach to both business, and life in general, make her an engaging speaker, a great listener and someone who can always be counted on to tell it like it is.  And, when it comes to business her clients will be the first to tell you she is, without question, their secret weapon.  You can read her blog here: http://www.v3im.com/blog and find her on Twitter @shellykramer

If you don’t want to miss out on the 30 Days to Changing Your Game, please sign up here.

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  • Bobbi Spargo
    Loved how you started out with the words of Yoda. Reminded me of "The Lion King" and the words "Remember who you are." I was inspired and motivated to keep moving forward with steps to fulfilling my dreams.
  • Hey Shelly

    I never considered myself someone who tried to fit in...to anything. I seldom worry about what others think about me-I can't make them like me, right? I treat others as I would like to be treated and follow my own path, no matter how off-beat it may be.

    But until reading this blog, I guess I do fit in with the crowd, the mediocre one that is. I just made a list of the 3 things I want to do this year and now I need to make my plan on how to achieve these goals. I have always had some reason not to get them done, sometimes like you a family need comes up or just my own self-doubts.

    This is not the first sign I have had this year that I need to set out on my own journey but your blog may be the push I need. Thanks for sharing and telling a great story.

    Lori

    P.S. Go Colts!!
  • Shelly - Thanks for the great post. I mentioned on a comment a couple of days ago that I have a genetic disorder that impacts my life. For a long time, I was a really negative person about that and some other challenges that were thrown my way. For a long time, I had copies of Desiderata posted everywhere I went. There was one on my bathroom mirror, one on my wall at work, one on the back of my front door to the apartment. I used it to remind myself that there was a reason that I was put on this Earth. Maybe it was to smile through the pain. Maybe it was to show others that even huge obstacles can be overcome. I'm not sure I've figured out yet what that purpose is, but I just keep putting one foot in front of the other taking one day at a time, one hour at a time, one moment at a time.
  • Sara Guest
    This post is what escaping mediocrity is all about - inspiration to take the hard steps. My husband and I are in one of these seasons right now. Thank you for the real life example of seeing what you want and making a change. I'm doing it!
  • lisinha_a
    Shelly,

    Thank you for this wonderful reminder. I really feel that I found this group at the right time in my life. Every day I've been struggling to get the strength to make my dreams a reality. I have constant battles with the little voices in my head that are telling me that I can't do this because I have a daughter to raise, tuition and bills to pay, and worst of all that I might fail.

    This is really resonated with me. It reminded me of every other time that I needed to trust myself to do something and how positive the outcome has been. I see that everyday when I look at my little girl.
  • Hi Shelly, it's like you were looking directly at me when you wrote this post. This describes me so well. I will benefit by most, if not all, of the 30 days to changing your game posts, but yours may end up being the one that hits home the hardest. The good news is that there have been times in my life where I have followed the advice given in your post and everything worked out well. Why is it now that I still have so much work to do in that area. Thanks for the well deserved and well needed slap in the face.

    Good morning!

    Kevin.
  • debevans
    Sarah, your blog has become my daily read early in the morning with my coffee. Thank you!

    Shelly, I know I am unique, not perfect but certainly capable of great things! Your post this morning encourages me to believe in myself. If I don't then why should anyone else.
  • ShellyKramer
    Oh hell, Deb. Nothing like that kind of pressure to start my day! Goodness, but now I'm gonna have to get off my dead you-know-what and write more (gah - the blogger's lament!).

    Seriously, though, thank you for your kindness. I am humbled and honored. And already believe in you - so you need to, too!
  • SpiritusShelagh
    As I read all the comments here I am marvelling at how many of us who know we are "square pegs" are fitting so snuggly into this "round hole" Sarah is creating here!
  • kristieschwanebeck
    Thank you for this post. I needed it today. I had one of those days when your defenses are down and in terms of ego strength, it's just a weaker day. Between feeling overwhelmed with school and reduction in job hours, and some intense go rounds with my kids, and coming to the end of my ability to be single mom, full time MA student and employer, I really needed to hear this. Shelly our lives are paralleled. I was married and 20 but already has my 5 month old, had two morel got divorced and went back to school to obtain a career I can provide for my kids with. For me this was a very personal post for it spoke to me that someone that has faced life circumstances similar to my own has done it successfully and with flair and passion. That means I can do. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
  • Hey Kristie! Just read your comment and wanted to say that I hope that today was a little better - that it was a day where you felt a little stronger within you... that you were able to receive love, support and energy from any and all sources and that you were able to see, in the midst of all the overwhelm and challenges, your own beauty and all the gifts you have. I've been seeing some of them in the past 9 days... so just wanted to send you a hug!
  • Shelly, I just love this post and your engaging sense of humor (we've got a lot in common). I am feeling the bonfire under my butt. Mentioned at least twice during this challenge how I am "Square Peg fitting into Round Hole" and need to be more accepting of that. I also expressed myself on the 30 Days to Change Your Game Facebook page with a graphic I designed for my vision board of a quote from Brian McDaniel's comment earlier today: http://www.facebook.com//photo.php?pid=972659&i...

    Thank YOU for letting us know that it's OK to be unique!
  • ShellyKramer
    Oh Lori, unique is so infinitely better than ordinary. Let that bonfire burn your buns and inspire you to do great things. Ordinary blows!!! And don't you just love that @bkmacdaddy? Such an amazing man - and such a wonderful friend.

    So glad you enjoyed - now get going :)
  • This is a very refreshing and inspirational post! To not be afraid to discover and use one's talent is our obligation to not only ourselves, but to our creator, our family (or future family), and to the world as well. Thanks for sharing some of your own curve balls! I appreciate this and you. I feel a fire being lit under my butt as I write this :-)!
  • ShellyKramer
    Fire under butt ... I wonder if I can somehow turn that into something that makes my butt smaller? Oh, I digressed (always thinking about smaller butts, apparently) (hehe). Glad you enjoyed, Nikki - and glad that my curve balls were inspirational. That makes them all the more worthwhile.
  • Thank you Sarah for allowing me to be a part of such an amazing community! And thank you Shelly for providing my friend with another perspective and reminding me that it doesn't matter how many times you swing...sometimes just standing in the batter's box is enough!
  • Shelly -- thank you for this wise message...one of my favorite themes in this life: be true to yourself.
    Or as you say: "We were all born “originals.” Unique, perfect, capable of great things, if only we allow ourselves to imagine those things and then take a tiny step further and actually do those things."

    For me this seems to step by step process and a LIFE LONG journey. In my 20's I took a big leap of faith and moved to NYC after finishing up my Masters -- without a job -- but a dream to write a teen girl guide book with my close friend samantha. This dream became a book 3 years later (and many, many tiny steps) and has the title "Real Girl Real World: A guide to finding your true self" So I have been writing about this "find your unique self" and follow it for a long time. AND only really getting now how much of what you are saying is true -- it's so much about : Take a chance. Take a risk. Trust in your abilities. (OR feel the fear and do it anyway...)

    thanks!
  • You're living the dream, Heather!!! Congratulations and thank you for sharing your story.
  • mirkogosch
    Thank you, Shelly, for this wonderful post and thank you all for your insightful and inspiring comments.

    I feel blessed to be part of this tribe´s quest.

    To try and fit in has never worked out for me and your post is a great reminder to follow my own, original path instead.

    I believe that to stand out and find a harmony in myself does not equal that the harmony will be available for me on the outside as well all the time, because standing out will surely not make everyone happy.

    But it feels so good, to hear all of your relating stories and it helps me to walk on.

    You know what I´ve been told a countless times over the last 10 years in my different (!) jobs? I´ve been told time and time again, that there is no place for being authentic, friendly, open-hearted and straight forward with my external business partners. Would you believe it?

    I never believed them, nor did I leave those environments either. I stayed on, because I wanted to fit in. And that was wrong, so wrong that I finally hit rock bottom mentally and felt completely ripped of my self-worth.

    The answer to my problem came to me last year when I started redirecting my thoughts away from those unsupportive people back to my innerself and it also came via the use of twitter - no joke!
    On Twitter I met so many people from all over the world to whom I could instantly relate to through tweets. Through more intensive conversations following, via email and shared thoughts, through blogs and phone calls I now manage to get back my good feeling about myself bit by bit.

    And I now know more than ever, that I have a choice. A choice to be me and to be happy. I had to learn though and the learning went the hard way, that this choice means to stand out and away from an unfriendly environment.

    Don´t you try too hard to fit in an environment that does not support you way of thinking, feeling and being. I did, and I failed miserably.

    I´ve learned and will continue to learn to listen to my heart and follow its path. When this means change, the change is welcome.

    Thanks again to all of you for sharing an abundance of inspiration and love to Sarah for getting us together.

    Being in the middle of a lot of change that is welcomed

    Mirko
  • Thanks for sharing Mirko! I especially related to your words "I stayed on, because I wanted to fit in. And that was wrong, so wrong that I finally hit rock bottom mentally and felt completely ripped of my self-worth." And I take hope from your process of connecting with and being inspired by people you've connected with via Twitter... that gives me hope as I begin (with these 30 days) taking my first steps into the Social Media world!
  • Mirko -- how fabulous that Twitter is part of your new support system! I concur. :)
  • michaelleiter
    Shelly
    I've been a fan of your writing in the <140CH genre. Now I'm mightily impressed with your capacity to tell a story when given even more room. I'm touched by the sincerity and thoughtfulness in your writing. And the experiences you tell have the essence of resilience.

    Thanks for the inspiration to jump beyond my comfort zone, and to have confidence that I can come through it all stronger than before.

    All the best,
    Michael
  • ShellyKramer
    Thanks, Michael. Your praise is most kind. And yes, I've found resiliance to be important - coupled with a healthy sense of humor and the ability (and desire) to laugh at myself often. We get so bogged down sometimes with our issues, problems, worries, etc., and sometimes, if we can just remember to breathe, dare, jump and keep the faith, it will all work out. And you can - and you will, come through it all stronger than before. Of that I'm certain :)
  • michelesfakianos
    You just described my first marriage! I got out of that after 6 years (and 2 kids) and decided to go to Nursing school. Years later (and several other degrees and certifications later) I'm stuck again trying to find "what inspires me". I seem to get bored easily with careers. I have been doing a lot of soul searching to find my passion and haven't found it yet, but I feel I'm close. There are a lot of things I like to do and like most, not sure how it fits or what to do with it. I know I need to "let go" and find my passion and hopefully soon I will!
  • ShellyKramer
    Ha! So, we HAVE lived the same lives! I think I get bored easily, too, which is why I love what I do. I am always diving into other people's heads and their businesses and their dreams, and that keeps me engaged and always on my toes, excited by something new on a daily basis. You will find that passion - I'm sure of it. And, like you said, you know just what to do in order to get to that point - just let go, have some faith, and it will come to you.
  • This resonates loudly for me, Shelley. It took classmates in a leadership program with me about a year and a half ago, who were strangers before the week-long class began, to help me realize my potential. I had a Eureka moment when, after a group exercise, more than one person told me, "We all saw you as a leader, based on your words and actions, but we could tell YOU didn't always see it." To quote Homer Simpson, "Duh-oh." I try to remember this exercise when the inner-voice of self-doubt raises up, but it is hard to always remember. It's probably on a week basis that my husband asks, "Why are you doubting yourself?" And, there are still occasions when, upon learning that a colleague has recommended me for a project that I'll think, "Wow, does he/she really think I can do that?" Fear and a lack of confidence can be crippling. The self-doubting voice can be loud. But, we each really should be our own biggest fans... Onward and upward!
  • Thanks Jamie! I needed to read this today: "Fear and a lack of confidence can be crippling. The self-doubting voice can be loud. But, we each really should be our own biggest fans.."
  • ShellyKramer
    You're right, Jamie - we should all be our own biggest fans, but it is something so easily forgotten. That's why we're doubly lucky when we have spouses, significant others, family and friends who can also help remind us that we are capable of great things. Listen to your husband, girl, quit that doubting :))
  • StephanieCorum
    Great post Shelly. Thank you for sharing. As a Star Wars geek, I appreciate the Yoda references. He was a very wise soul. I often tell myself "Do or do not. There is no try." It's one of my favorite all time quotes!

    Complacency. Now there's a bad word if I've ever heard one. Enough said.

    You mentioned that your clients believing in you caused you to believe in yourself. I can see how that can be true, but for me personally it was the opposite. Years ago I had such low self-esteem and low self-confidence that starting my own business seemed ridiculous. Eventually I told myself that if I didn't believe in myself how can I expect anyone else to do so? At first I had to do the "fake it till I make it", but slowly with each tiny success my belief grew and subsequently so did the belief and confidence of others.

    Your challenge is a big one. Just this morning I was thinking about how I truly wanted to spend my days. Obviously it is not how I'm currently doing so. It is scary especially since my husband just took the huge plunge into starting his own company. I have the vision, and I do believe I will see it through. Thank you!
  • ShellyKramer
    You will see it through, missy! And do like I do, keep faking it 'till you make it -- and smiling at the same time. I've just always found that when I managed to have the faith to take the biggest leaps in life that then, and only then, did the very best things happen as a result. I do believe you will, most definitely, see it through, Stephanie!
  • Mixx
    Shelly, what an inspiring post! thanks so much and so in tune with my thoughts today - there's that synchronicity again...

    I've been following Julia Cameron's Artist's Way program for a couple of weeks now and was writing only a few hours ago about Shadow Artists - that is, people who long to do something, but only allow themselves to get close, such as an aspiring photographer who becomes a photographer's rep, or a would-be novelist who settles for writing reviews of other people's books... and so on through countless examples;
    "there, caught between the dream of action and the fear of failure, shadow artists are born... like the kid with his nose pressed to the candy-store window".

    Getting close is a great start in many ways - of course you'll learn a lot... But at some point you have to stop taking in, rehearsing, or imagining and start getting it out there - the real, full-on, wonderful you, that is! And like you say, when people do this, the very best things happen.

    In a native american coming-of-age ritual, where adolescent boys have to overcome many trials, there's a phrase the elders use which I love to keep in mind when I'm doubting myself; "Jump! - it's not as far as you think!!"
  • sarahrobinson
    Argh. I thought Disqus was back on track but sadly it is not. If you are counting on emails notification of comments to keep you updated, that service is out of commission right now. Huh, now that I type that, I wonder if anyone who IS counting on email notifications will read this.......:-)
  • "Complacency doesn’t inspire greatness." Powerful statement Shelly, a bell ringing and awakening us from deep sleep.
    Ah, to find the inspiration to follow our dreams, taking risks and feeling alive. Once one starts, there is no turning back.
    Thank you for the wonderful post. Our dreams thank you.

    Marjory
  • ShellyKramer
    Thanks Marjory - I'm so glad you liked. And you are correct - once you begin, there is no turning back. How exciting!!
  • Hi Shelly!

    I agree with everyone here... great post! But I have to be honest... while I read the whole thing, I was pretty much stopped in my tracks with the first sentence from Yoda: "Why would I try so hard to fit in when I was born to stand out?"

    "Try so hard"... if there were ever words that described me and my life, they would be it. If I had a penny for all the times in my life people who love me (on My List) have told me "I don't need to try so hard", I would be rich! I almost don't know what it would be like to not "try so hard"... to relax, to let go, to trust God, others, myself, the process of my life... but, get the humor in this, "I'm trying" :-)

    What Yoda's question had me see today is that all of my "trying so hard" HAS been about wanting to "fit in" or rebelling against "fitting in" (that's my insecurity and ego wanting to think I'm better than others by "standing apart'"). And that is what has led me to this point I'm at in my life - contracted, isolated, afraid, even more insecure... kind of my life bottoming out about 6-12 months ago and me beginning to admit I'm not happy and things are not okay. Thus, my beginning to "change my game"

    But I see now that I will NEVER be able to "stand out" until I accept (a) that it's OKAY to 'stand out' and (b) that I actually WANT to "stand out"... not just that I was born to but that I actually WANT to. (Maybe that's why I want to - because I was born to.) And that my "standing out" does not make me better than anyone else... it's not a competition thing... it's a self-expression thing.

    Some people would say that I have "stood out" for most of my life - but what I can now see is that I have either "stood apart" (that's my insecurity and fear protecting me behind arrogance) or I have only "stood out" where doing so would make me "fit in"... and either way keeps me in the exhausting struggle I've known all my life of "trying so hard".

    I see more clearly now that, at the bottom of that struggle is me caring what people think more than I care about being me. It comes from my [historically low but improving] self-worth. When my self-worth is based on what other people think and what other people do, I'm screwed (and that's not real self-worth). If it's based solely on what I do and the results I achieve, I'm also screwed.

    When my self-worth comes from the fact that I am here, that I was created to be me - "original, unique" and to "stand out" as ME, Teresa Romain, well... that's when I'm just starting to discover how I don't have to try so hard... I am free to learn and grow and make mistake and learn and try new things and listen to the still small voice inside of me. I can ask myself the questions you mentioned. I can take a chance. all of which, ironically, builds my self-worth even more. And it's through that process that WHO I AM stands out... not necessarily what I do.

    Thanks for stirring up a whole bunch for me. I welcome any comments, insights or suggestions you have that will support me in my process of becoming ME.
  • I'm REALLY beginning to see why Sarah thinks we're good cohorts. You pretty much wrote down ME. I hit rock bottom in a different way than you did, but dealt with the same isolations and insecurities that you did, and I imagine still do, because I sure as hell do.

    I stood out because of what I wasn't. I wasn't my popular, student council member, sports captain, honor society member sister. I was me, the regular one. Not popular, a decent athlete at an oddball sport, a straight c+ student. I couldn't have cared less about what was expected of me by those who knew us both, and it showed. The time of my life that was supposed to form a lot of the basis for the rest of my life instead left me socially unstable, mentally confused, and branded an outsider.

    It took me until I was in my late twenties to realize what was wrong, and begin to fix it.. There were peaks and valleys along the way, but I was always myself, which was a source of pride for me - I still managed to stand out for things other than what I wanted to do, because I didn't know how not to. I'm glad I finally got to realize who I am, and it looks like you have too.

    Now we just need to let everyone know who we are...and we've taken a huge step by being here.
  • Hey Mark... thanks for sharing some of your story with me. I've seen many similarities between us over these first 9 days... (Sarah picked up on them early on). But I have to admit feeling jealous as I read part of your story... it was when you wrote "but I was always myself". That is something I cannot say is so for me... I am the original "pretzel person"... and have so contorted myself to "fit in" (or stood apart lest I not fit in) that I don't even know who I am. THAT's what I am discovering... and it's exciting and disorienting at the same time... But as I discover who I am (warts and all), I am being that... So thanks again for sharing yourself with me...
  • Its not worth the jealousy, trust me. There were plenty of time I didn't WANT to be myself, but I had no other choice. But yes, it has been great getting to know you these past several days. :)
  • ShellyKramer
    I love you already just by reading your comment, Teresa. And you are totally right - who you are is all that matters - in your heart, in your soul, in your spirit. What you do, for a living, at least, has nothing to do with that. So take that deep breath, woman, square those shoulders and dive in. And do it again and again and again - take risks, stand out, be different, wear different colored socks (that works for me anyway) and you'll find, in no time, that your heart is singing and that you're smiling more often and that life is really, really awesome. You just have to be you. That's it. Just you. And you are, I'm confident, pretty doggone incredible.
  • Thanks Shelly... I feel like I've just been enveloped in a big warm HUG! I am breathing - in fact, I'm leaving my office now to go breathe some fresh air on a long walk. Just wanted to share how your post and my "processing" in reply has impacted me. I've been needing to complete two important projects and I've been procrastinating and struggling BIG TIME... and feeling more and more pressure as the deadline looms near. Just about an hour ago... I GOT what that sense of pressure and avoidance has been about. I have been trying to be something I'm not. Instead of going inside of me and asking "How does "Teresa" do this?" and "What would this look like if I was being ME - just the way I am" - I've been painting a picture in my mind of what I THINK it needs to look like and it's been shutting me and my creativity and joy and ease down big time. So - after my walk - I'm coming back to work for a focused hour and create something that is authentic for me... and DIFFERENT too! Thanks again!
  • ====
    And the more that people depend on us, the more scared we get.
    ====

    This is the part that really resonated with me. I've recently gotten so scared of people depending on me that I don't even know how to have a healthy relationships with project deadlines when I'm working with my team. I get afraid of not meeting the deadlines, don't feel great about establishing them in the first place, and worry about letting people down if I need to adjust time lines. I get so wrapped up in other people's business (worrying about what they think) that I can't focus on myself anymore. It's a terrible feeling that leads me to be terribly ineffective.

    So, I'm doing that take a deep breath and square my shoulders thing...and I've also reached out to my network for help around having relationships with deadlines, dealing with them, and other ways that I can still get things done without this kind of worry that seems to be commonplace now. I think I'm on the path to figuring it out.

    Thanks for a good read here...the title of your article brought me over from Twitter because I'm someone who has tried to fit in...a lot. xoxo
  • ShellyKramer
    Hi Mona. If fitting in means making new friends, at least in this instance, that's a wonderful thing. And we're glad to have you here. Sarah Robinson is amazing as are all the lovely people commenting and being a part of this conversation.

    I'm glad to hear you're on the path to figuring it out - and just take a moment, every now and then, to remind yourself that it doesn't matter what people think - it just matters what you are. In your heart. In your actions. Just be you and you'll find that life is a lot more fun - and productive!
  • sarahrobinson
    SO glad you stopped by Mona and that you got and infusion of what you needed!
  • Any mention of Star Wars gets my attention REAL fast.

    Don't you just love Yoda! You know, he also talked a lot about fear and how choosing fear will lead you to the dark side. I've experienced that myself this past year and only now am I returning to the bright-shiny Jedi ways. ;-)

    No seriously, loved this post and found it very insightful.

    Maybe Yoda and Nike should team up for a big dose of "Just do it!" Or I guess Yoda would say, "Do it, just."
  • OMG. Kerri - I hold you personally responsible to the diet Coke I just spit out. I'll be sending you a bill for $.32 cents for a replacement. Nike and Yoda...still laughing.
  • ShellyKramer
    Ha! I'm glad that Yoda got your attention - he was certainly a wise old soul. Glad you enjoyed!!
  • Thee Quest is a goal in itself.After 50, many just give up or give in to pressure to just lay down and die.Pierrette & I want to live to at least 100 together and we are only 58. Shelly Cramer, you are a living example of an ordinary person doing extraordinary well in a life path that we all live . We at Thee Quest are proud to know and respect people like you. 'Bravo,
    Pierre & Pierrette.
  • ShellyKramer
    Thank you so much. I'll be 50 this year (aack) and have no plans on giving in, lying down or moving slowly. I want to wring every moment of excitement and joy possible out of this life that we are blessed with. And it appears, that you two do, too. I say "bravo" to you as well.
  • lorilatimer
    Oh, Shelly, yesterday I put out there that I will be 50 this week! But I have found many others here who all have that to look forward to this year, so we are all in good company :) And hell no, there is no lying down or slowing down - I figure this is just the start of the second half of my life!

    Your post hit me on so many levels. Like you and so many others here, I was married young and divorced when my son was 2. But I put on my big girl panties, went back to work, and took care of him. That was in 1986 when the laws were horrible, and I didn't even get the miniscule amount of child support I was supposed to get. Like you said, that which doesn't break us makes us stronger, and it's clear that many of us are stronger for things we've had to go through.

    Thank you for sharing your experiences and your wisdom. I am just amazed at the conversations that each of the posts have inspired, and yours is no exception!

    And now I am off to pack because I am leaving for CA in the morning - my b'day present to myself is a long weekend where I grew up with some very special people out there :)
  • ShellyKramer
    Honeybunchesofoats .... I'll be 50 this year too (holy effing moly, how did THAT happen, anyway?) Happy Happy Birthday sweets - I have a feeling that this year just might be the best year ever! Big hug to you - and please have a glass of yummy wine for me!!
  • Your post really hit home with me - My husband and I were talking the other night about how uninspired, unmotivated and unhappy I am at my current (very well paying) job. For every reason you listed above - complacency, loss of confidence, scared, and my family depending on me... I haven't wanted to rock the boat. Sometimes I just love that life throws the answers in your face when you are questioning big decisions that need to be made! So thanks for the post! :)
  • ShellyKramer
    Thanks Shelly (great name, btw)! I know how hard it is to rock the boat, but man, can it ever be fun when it's a'rocking. And crazy, and scary and downright surreal. But when it's all said and done, those are typically the times I've looked backed on as being the most meaningful, productive AND profitable in my life. All good things. Go do what makes your heart sing, missy!
  • sarahrobinson
    Congrats to you Shelly for facing the hard stuff. Most people don't or won't. How courageous.
  • hey there, Shelly,

    This post is so good in so many ways. Thank you for sharing your own life examples. So needed to hear this. Reminds me of a fav quote:
    Whatever you are meant to do, move toward it and it will come to you ~ Gloria Dunn

    TY!
    sheri
  • ShellyKramer
    Thanks Sheri. And your quote is so true - now go do it :)
  • Thank you Shelley! With each new post that's gifted to us - I struggle to determine what I benefit from most -- the post itself, or the comment streams that follow. It never ceases to amaze me that, as different and unique as we all are - we're also so much the same. I loved the warmth and support that emanated from your writing. Many blessings for sharing ...
  • ShellyKramer
    Thanks Sally. You're right - so different, and so not. And so often forgotten :) Thanks for the read and for making time to comment.
  • Ava Diamond (@feistywoman)
    What a wonderful post, Shelly!

    This part made me giggle..."I remember taking phone calls from prospective clients who asked me “Well, can you do this? What about x, y and z?” And every time they asked me those questions I said “Well, sure. Of course I can.” And you know what – it worked! They believed in me. And because they believed in me, I believed in myself. And when I didn’t know exactly how to do what they’d asked me to do, I was smart enough to be able to pick up the phone and call someone who did, and recruit them to collaborate with me."

    I giggled because I had the same experience early on in my consulting career. Someone from a Fortune 100 Company called and asked me if I'd be willing to facilitate a retreat for them. I was a great facilitator, so I agreed. Then they told me they wanted it to be a Search Conference. I said, "Sure!"

    Except that I had no idea what a Search Conference was. I'd never heard the term. I remember sitting at my desk, shaking my head, asking myself what I'd just done.

    So I got busy. I researched it. I talked to people who'd done them. I read books on search conferences and future search technology. I started learning about all kinds of conference techniques. I learned about Open Space Technology (now often called "unconferences"). I had to stretch and grow, and let go of my fear (and I had plenty of fear--I was a little bit terrified).

    I got help designing it, and tips for facilitating it. By the time the conference came around, I felt confident. I knew I was ready. And it was a wonderful experience for me, the participants, and the organization.

    So here's what I learned from that. Only doing what I already know how to do will not take me anywhere!

    I have to be willing to take chances, to stretch, to grow, to learn, and to try new things. I make mistakes. I stumble. Things don't always work out perfectly--but it keeps me moving forward.

    As to "fitting in," I never really have. I've always been a bit too "feisty" for other people's preconceived notions of what I should be. It's nice to know that Yoda (and you!) say I don't have to fit in at all.
  • Hi Ava! One sentence in your comments really hit me today... "Only doing what I already know how to do will not take me anywhere! " Actually, for me, it will take me EXACTLY where I'm at... which is not where I want to be. Thanks for reminding me of that!
  • Ava Diamond (@feistywoman)
    Isn't it cool how we all come up with just the perfect thing to share with each other.

    Thanks, Sarah. This is wonderful how we are all sharing and learning from each other. I vote for Sarah Robinson for Queen!
  • sarahrobinson
    aw thanks Ava. I'll settle for Chief of the Hooligan Tribe. :-)
  • We like you feisty. :)
  • Ava Diamond (@feistywoman)
    Thanks, Vanessa. I like me feisty, too. But not everyone does. : )
  • Yeah, way to go, you feisty webinar woman!
  • ShellyKramer
    I love this: "Only doing what I already know how to do will not take me anywhere." Amen to that, sistah. As I read you story, I found myself nodding and smiling - I can't even count the number of times that's happened to me and in a sick way, I think that I really, really like it. Thanks for sharing, Ava - love your insight.
  • Ava Diamond (@feistywoman)
    I kind of like it too, Shelly. It's the tightrope without the net. It makes me be sharper, better, and smarter than I knew I was. It's rapid learning and integration with a purpose. I wish I could say the example above is the only time I've done it, but I do it every now and again. I just did it again this afternoon with someone who wants me to do a webinar. It will be my first : )
  • Wow - great story! I also have that moment of "Ummmm.... sure I can do that" when asked to do something I have never done before. My heart races and I procrastinate, then I take a deep breath and jump in and realize that I CAN do it... or I used to do that - I love that this series keeps kicking me in the butt and making me more aware that I need to jump back in again! :)
  • I can so relate to your experience - and the conference style you researched sounds fascinating. I've been freelancing Corporate Communications for 14 years now ... and every assignment I take on comes with a learning curve. The words flow fine, but the context requires research most of the time. We're all so much more resilient and brave than we give ourselves credit for!
  • Ava Diamond (@feistywoman)
    I like that--yep, that's us--resilient and brave : )
  • Aaaaamen to your story too Ava! I got into coaching when a stock market trader who couldn't make my Trader Psychology talk, called me up and asked,
    "Do you do personal peak performance coaching?"

    And I said "Sure!"

    He asked, "How much - about a hundred dollars an hour?"

    and I said, "Sure!!" (Seemed like a good place to start.)

    During our first session I felt like I had been born to coach peak performers, and it's been a major blessing ever since. (although now my fear and trembling is coming from moving to a much more feminine and personal topic of SEX.) Heeeere we go!

    Shelly - GREAT POST!

    Sarah - Awesome tribe!
  • Ava Diamond (@feistywoman)
    Glad to know I'm not alone on jumping in with both feet, and learning it on the fly. Can't wait to hear more about your
    success with your sex peak performance coaching, Gina. I never knew there was such a thing! : )
  • Thanks pals! It's actually called The Romance Rescue - How to Have Really Great Sex When You're NOT in the Mood!
    (I am telling my sad story of making my mess into my message!)
  • Ava Diamond (@feistywoman)
    Wow...that sounds great! I have a big grin on my face reading the title! Will it be a book? It's a great book title as well.
  • The Romance Rescue will start next month as a group coaching program but I am working to put it all together in a little book too. I just really want to see women come all the way through this frustration on lots of levels. Thanks!
  • Ava Diamond (@feistywoman)
    Very cool! Sending you lots of great energy for this new venture! Let me know if I can support you with the book.
  • ShellyKramer
    Love it Gina! And I'm sure you'll be fine on the sex topic, too :)))
  • Shelly,
    Nice to know more about you than I did before this post. When my sons were 6 months and two years old my husband left. Like you I had to put bread on the table instead of being the stay at home mom we had planned on. I decided that I was not going to go back to my HR career at GE that would have kept my kids in day care for long hours every day. So I pieced together a career of free lance writing, soft skill training and eventually process consulting. It worked. Money was short sometimes but we made it and I have no regrets. Now Seth and Aaron are grown, live out of state (I'm in PA, Seth's in TX, and Aaron's in VA), I've taken care of my parents, which took me out of the job market for a while but now ready to jump back in. It's time to take another chance but without the impetus of feeding my kids etc, am having a more difficult time. I know what I want and need to accept that it's OK to do what I want. So thanks Shelly and Yoda. Looking forward to reading some wicked humor on your blog. Cherry
  • ShellyKramer
    Thanks Cherry. It's funny what we can do when we have no choice. Especially when there are kids depending on us. It's great to know your "back story" and we have, in many ways, lived similar lives. I also am a believe in the adage "that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger." God knows, that by this point, I should be possessed of super human strength - and I'm sure you feel the same way.

    And now, since it's your turn - and no one else is waiting in the wings to be taken care of, dive and and do whatever it is that makes your heart sing. And I can't wait to hear more about it!
  • sarahrobinson
    Wow Cherry. That is an incredible story. Thank you for letting us see a little bit more of you here. :-)
  • That's a very true statement you made Cherry - "without the impetus of feeding my kids, etc." -- amazing what we'll do for others we love in spite of the terror and doubt, but not necessarily for ourselves. I'm in a similar place now -- knowing I have gifts to offer and even a market that would be interested ~ and yet, teetering on the edge before the leap. I'm at the breathing stage now though. I'll gladly serve as your cheerleader as we face our 'next chapters' together ...
  • I really love one simple line from this article: "Believe in yourself."

    So many people won't even try because they feel they're not capable. Nine times out of ten, you ARE capable. Yes, it comes with a price - discipline, practice, failure, learning, perseverance - but when the dust settles you will have accomplished your goal, and you'll be proud of yourself.

    Thanks for the reminder, bud. :)
  • I agree Nate and I like the way you put that! Mostly you are capable of doing whatever it is that you want. My mother told me that all my life... is still telling me that now - I wonder why I quit listening?? Because I didn't want to pay that price? Probably. But I do think it is an investment I am willing to make now!
  • Your post left me breathless! I am in a place right now where I've given my power to make positive change to others - even though I know how to live authentically. Like so many others, I think I've actually used the fact that I have kids as an excuse to pander to my self-doubt (and fear of success). NO MORE!! I am totally freaked out, but know that this is the feeling I should be having when closing in on my Truth.

    Thank you for the inspiration - and for the kick up the bum that I've needed!!
  • Freaked out is not always a bad thing! How amazingly powerful it is to not only acknowledge our truth but to ACT on it. Ahhhh, good times. Good times.
  • ShellyKramer
    I do my best work totally freaked out, girl. And I'm sure that you will, too. Now go kick some ass :)
  • Sally is right. You have helped many more than you think. I'm at the top of the list. You helped me find my way this year! Smoochies!
  • For what it's worth - you ARE an amazing help to others ... and infusion of inspiring energy that sees many of us through a scary or difficult time. Can't wait to see where Truth leads you next ...
  • Thanks for being part of this awesome group, Shelly - I hoped from the beginning that I'd see you pop up. :)

    Curveballs are what makes being up at bat all the more fun!

    Plus when the home run pitch finally comes down, it makes it all the more satisfying that you stayed up at bat through all the harder pitches.

    My issues lately have been that I keep getting stranded in the on deck circle. I know I can do it, I know I can hit the good pitch, but for some reason I'm not allowed the chance - but I can only change teams so many times before it wears thin.
  • ShellyKramer
    Mark, just look at people like Kurt Warner and Doug Flutie - guys who were written off a long time ago but through sheer dint of will and belief in themselves, managed to hang in there and prove to the world that they had what it takes - even in their "advanced years." <heh heh, lookit me, tossing the football analogy out there - muy impressivo, no?>

    Seriously, curveballs are what make life fun and no matter how many you get, you've just gotta keep motoring on. And that's the thing you need to tell yourself. So what if you're stranded on deck - if you keep on keeping on, refusing to give up, it will, ultimately, all be worth it. Of that, I'm confident.
  • Shelly with the football analogy....good one. :P

    Oh, I'm definitely not giving up, that much I can tell you, and I know we've talked about that in the past. Watching people get to take their swings is just a pain in the ass after a while, that's all.
  • sarahrobinson
    Become the person who decides who is up at bat next.
  • That is the ultimate goal, Sarah. Its just not in the cards at the moment. Its a step I can't take at the moment, but its definitely a few steps up the staircase.
  • sarahrobinson
    I know. But as long as you are taking steps (albeit baby steps) toward becoming that person, your current job can become "a day job". I've had to do that - and calling it "a day job" makes it feel less heavy. :-) I KNOW you can do it!
  • heh - definitely have to keep the "day job" for the time being, there's a lot going on I can't talk about just yet which makes the day job more important than ever.

    I'm trying to take those steps, and I hope that I am getting better at it - I am astonished at all the good advice I have gotten over the past nine days already, and will be pleased when people outside of this group start noticing, whenever that may be.
  • Wonderful post Shelly~ indeed I have provided the link to my dearest friend, who, after 21 years at a job and career that WAS her identity she was let go...she has been going through a grieving process and is now, I believe, ready to see the possibilities and truly see what inspires her passion and what she really, really wants to do with the rest of her life. A very timely post:-)
    Thanks!
  • ShellyKramer
    Thanks, Danielle. I'm glad you enjoyed and honored that you passed it along. There's no greater compliment.
  • sarahrobinson
    Thank you for sharing Shelly's post with someone who needs it Danielle. :-)
  • Shelly, thank you. This post is like a hug, a stamp of support on the benefits of believing in myself and taking risks for greater gain. I came to my dream in a roundabout way, as we often do. I'd been a fiction writer the whole while I worked full time, often in unsatisfying jobs that paid the bills. When a series of events turned my life into rubble, I asked myself those questions: what do I REALLY want, what inspires me, what's my purpose? Every time, the answer rang crystal-clear: I want to write. I want to write. So now I'm writing, and that's all. I don't have much money, but I'm happier than I've been in YEARS. I make my own schedule, I choose my clients with care. And my first novel is going to be published, release date set for March of next year. Here's to taking that leap of faith!
  • ShellyKramer
    Write baby, write. And isn't it wonderful??? I'm so happy for you - what a huge accomplishment, and what the hell, who needs to eat, anyway??? Seriously, I've always found that it was those times of the most sacrifice, belt-tightening, scarier than all get-out-ishness that ultimately produced the things for which I'm most grateful and proud. You go, girl! And don't let anyone - especially yourself, get in your way!
  • I am also grateful to have met you Laurie (and Writergrrl, too)! Your writing talent is real - and you have the added gift of being able to express beautifully, creatively and factually - as your heart, or client, desires. You're an incredible inspiration for 'facing the fear and doing it anyway' ... and your willingness to be vulnerable has helped many. Keep leaping!!
  • sarahrobinson
    All three of you are pretty amazing to me!
  • I'm just so freaking proud of you, Laurie!! And also glad to know that it was your writing - what you are most passionate about - that let me find you. I can't wait to see your success blast off!!!
  • SusanLorelei
    Great Post Shelly. Find one person that believes in you and change your life forever.

    Encouraging others is a great place to start finding encouragement for yourself. Get rid of excuses that are holding you back. After all … they are truly only excuses. We are all amazing people … each one having their place.

    Keep being Amazing Shelly …
  • ShellyKramer
    Oh honey, you are nothing if not amazing as well. And you're right - we are all truly amazing. Sometimes we just lose sight of that. Or need others to occasionally remind us.
  • This paradox thing is a trip.

    By going inward, we progress outward.

    The initial exercises we got before the actual 30 Day posts was a real warm up for facing oneself. Delving inward. Self-assessment is key to forward progress. ...And when we do take a good look inward and build upon all the dreams, face the fears and act, then everyone benefits (including us).

    The simplest lessons are never the easiest. Theory and execution live in separate worlds.

    Thanks for sharing! Best, M.
  • sarahrobinson
    I keep telling all of you that I got inside your head and planned these out so they would be freaky. :-)
  • lorilatimer
    Yeah, pretty scary shit how true that is!
  • Shelley, I am declaring you my new best friend and favorite person. All of this resonates so well with me. I have been living in the world of curve balls. I also married younger than I should have. The marriage was difficult and after five years found myself with severe depression and a five year old and a mortgage that is scarier than that damn clown in Poltergeist! The last few years have been one of quiet acceptance of my life and stagnation. I have been comfortably in my job for 10 years. Sad thing is that I have NO passion for my job anymore and it's pretty much sucked me dry.

    This last summer, after taking my first week long vacation in EIGHT years, I made the decision to change everything. There was more to life than what I was living. The only thing I lacked was the confidence and courage to do it. I did a long self, needs and skills assessment. I started training and some more classes. Last month I launched my company doing coaching, group facilitation and strategic planning. It'll be 6 more months of "desk job" before I can do ti full time but I'm still shocked I went ahead with my ideas! Your post today reaffirms that I'm moving in the right direction.
  • Thanks for your story Vanessa... the 2x4 that smacked me over the head as I read it was this: "after taking my first week long vacation in EIGHT years". That's what had me realize how far off-course I've come... it's been even longer for me. So - another goal to add to my ROCKing process. Thanks for the reality check!
  • lorilatimer
    Oh, Vanessa, we could be twins! I have been in my current job for 8 years, and I have no more passion for it. Parts of it yes, but I know there's another level I want to take it to. I'm a little bit behind you in starting, but I am also about to start my own business, and like you, I will have to keep my full time job for some time.

    But taking that step, that risk, putting it all out there, is scary, but you have to follow your heart, and it sounds like that is exactly what you are doing. We might hit a few bumps along the way, but we'll just keep moving forward!
  • Wow Vanessa, what a brave soul you are! I loved reading your story (a work in progress) and how perfect that you found your way to "escape mediocrity" change your game --so in alignment.
    Thanks for sharing.
  • Wow Vanessa! Congratulations on doing something you felt passionate about! Especially with a scary poltergeist mortgage! :)
    I would even imagine that the 6 months of dreaded desk work won't even feel as bad because you know what is in store for you and what you have accomplished! Good job!
  • ShellyKramer
    Woohoo, Vanessa! I'm so proud of you! Being stuck in a spot in life that sucks you dry is just no doggone good - and sometimes just taking that deepest of deep breaths and believing in yourself makes all the difference in the world! You clearly did just that, girl - and I'll bet that life just continues to keep getting better and better for you. Kudos to you!!
  • Thank you, Shelly! I keep focusing on the Sherman's post and what i want to be able to say my year was like this time next year and when I think about that, I feel soooooo good.
  • Hiya Vanessa, knowing you are soaring with delight when you think of YOUR vision and accomplishments this time next year is simply BRILLIANT! Keep your eye on the prize, work it, and you'll ROCK IT OUT! ;-)
  • I agree. I want to make that a mantra.
  • Great to read your thoughts and inspirational challenges here at another location, Shelly. I promise I'm not stalking. ;)

    With great risk comes great reward, and possibly sometimes great failure and pain. But it wouldn't be risk without the possibility of failure, would it? I often marvel at the thought of how many amazing people and talents and creations and on and on we will never know simply because of their fear keeping them from becoming that which they were born to be. The truly amazing people we are aware of usually only have one major difference from everyone else: they did not let fear of the unknown keep them from risking it all and pursuing their dreams and passions. Can you imagine what our world would be like if everyone - EVERYONE - threw fear out the window and chased after life with wild abandon?

    Excellent food for thought and challenge to us all. Kudos to you, my kindred spirit!
  • Brian, check out the Facebook page. I posted your quote I designed for my vision board. Sent you an email w/ link as well.
  • Ava Diamond (@feistywoman)
    Love that! "...threw fear out the window and chased after life with wild abandon."
  • I agree with this statement, Brian: "With great risk comes great reward, and possibly sometimes great failure and pain. But it wouldn't be risk without the possibility of failure, would it?"

    Standing out and accomplishing big things means having the courage to accept big failures, too. And with those failures comes pain and loneliness. But if you can learn from them and apply that knowledge to the next thing, and the next, more often than not you're gonna come out on top.

    Good stuff.
  • Well said, Brian!! My favorite line "Can you imagine what our world would be like if everyone - EVERYONE - threw fear out the window and chased after life with wild abandon?" I'm going to print that out for my vision board.
  • JoyFull_deb
    I am SO with you, Lori.....Brian, I LOVE ..."Can you imagine what our world would be like if everyone......?" And up until this very moment, I'd never really contemplated the possibilities. sometimes, I "assume" that most folks ARE living their dreams...HA! I'm definitely wrong. But, just imagine all the posibilites IF everyone "chased after life w/ wild abandon!"
    Lori...I've got to put up a vision board!!!
  • ShellyKramer
    Thanks, my twin brothah, for your kind words. I agree with you completely and am all for tossing fears aside and just going for it. After all, failure isn't the worst thing, by far, that can happen to any of us. Stalk me any time, honeybunch.
  • triciadycka
    Hi Shelly
    Great post. One thing I have learned is the more I embrace myself the more the opportunities open up, the more I push past the boundaries and perserve in the face of fear. I love hearing others stories, how life throws cruve balls and they pick the ball up and run with it.
  • ShellyKramer
    Hi Tricia. IMHO, a curve ball is better than being run over by a steam roller, so I just look at the bright side. Besides, maybe dodging curve balls can be considered cardio, and save me from having to go to the gym (haha). Thanks for making the time to read and sharing a comment - your life strategy seems like a terrific one :)
  • Ed
    Right on track Shelly. Inspiration, inspiration inspiration. Rather listen to what inspires me any day than what discourages me.
  • ShellyKramer
    I agree, Ed. I'm a ridiculous optimist - life just seems better that way. Thanks for the read and for making time to comment :)
  • sarahrobinson
    Notes to the Tribe for Tuesday:

    1) Today’s theme song is: Fall On Me by R.E.M.: http://tinysong.com/8zFV
    2) If you like a post (and today’s rocks!) please RT it to share it with your Twitter community. Thank you!!
    3) I’d like to echo something Dr. Mollie Marti said in her comment a few days ago. As hard as it is for those of us who are coach-y type people, let’s try to put on our “receiving” hat and come to this as participants. Sharing our learning experiences and thoughts, encouraging and connecting with others is a great “game-changer”. 
    4) If you are getting true value from this series, please make a small donation to 12for12k’s Haiti campaign. Scroll down on the right of this page: http://www.escaping-mediocrity.com
    5) If you have signed up to be on the email list (you get little extras from me), you MUST complete the double opt-in process to get them. Look for an email from me in your inbox or in your spam folder and click on the link inside it.
    6) I have set up a Face book Group for us: http://www.facebook.com/#/group.php?gid=2460148...
    7) I built a list on twitter of all the guest bloggers to make it easy for you to follow them: http://twitter.com/#/list/SarahRobinson/thirtyd...
    8) There are also two twitter lists of participants in 30 Days. You will find them here: http://twitter.com/MirkoGosch/escapingmediocrity and http://twitter.com/The_Promo_Guy/game-changing

    Love,
    Sarah
  • I love that song...
    Thanks for all the ways you are providing for us to escape mediocrity, Sarah.
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