Is Bigger Better? It Can Be!

By Dr. Mollie Marti

Business is mainly about relationships. If you are here reading this blog, you likely went into business in response to a burning desire to help others make a positive impact in this world.

Here’s the catch-22: you make your presence more public as a way of helping more people…and then more people begin asking for help!

How can you grow through the greater and greater demands on your time while maintaining your desired happy and healthy lifestyle?

Here are a few perspectives that may help you support your priorities in the midst of business growth:

Accept that you simply do not have enough hours in the day to share a piece of yourself with anyone and everyone who wants you. A business built on time with you is not scalable. The brutality of this truth does not make it any less of a reality. You may not like it. But if you fight with this reality, you will lose every time. To make a bigger impact, you must prioritize and get really good at saying ‘no’ to requests (while saying a bigger YES to you!).
My golden rule: do not leave anyone worse off than when you found them. I distinctly remember the ‘aha’ moment I had when sitting in a law school lecture and the professor said that the basis of our tort system was to make the injured party as whole as possible. I thought, “well, isn’t that a minimum level of every human interaction? Going forward, I am consciously bringing this choice to all of my
relationships!” Seek to shower kindness on others while embracing no less than a rule of Do No Harm. If you hurt someone, make amends.
With an inherent inability to show all of those we love how much we love them and to help those who deserve our help, there is no room to give time and energy to takers. If someone is making your life worse and it is clear that they don’t have your best interests in mind, move on (but see #5 before you do!).
Adopt a daily gratitude ritual of giving thanks for all the people who have nourished you over time. Hold them in your thoughts and bless them. Parents. Family. Teachers. Friends. Clergy. Significant others. Perhaps even those who have hurt you … and made you more of who you are today. Consider using 5 minutes each day to contact at least one person who comes to mind and express your gratitude for how they have helped you become a better person.
It’s a common (and I believe extremely foolish) mistake to move on from close relationships too quickly. In today’s world, people seem more inclined to walk away from a relationship than to walk away from their television set or computer. Commitments matter. Investing in those you love and who love you reaps rich rewards. Learning how to best connect and communicate is time well spent. There are several great resources for better connecting to your partner or kids – one I strongly recommend is Dr. Gary Chapman’s book, The 5 Love Languages.
Take a look in the mirror. What are you bringing to your relationships? Social media, with its openness and live time interaction, can fool you into thinking that relationships are quick and easy. The truth remains that relationships take time and effort. You must invest in them. Examine what you want others to do for you…and then ask the better question, “What can I do today to bring value to this other person?”
My life’s greatest mentor frequently reminded me as a young professional, “Friendship is a two-way street.” This is true of business relationships as well. In both life and business, pay more attention to those who show they care. Give them special treatment and opportunities for time with you. This will nourish you as you nourish them.
Finally, love yourself. You simply cannot give away what you don’t have. Invest in making yourself whole and then creating more to share with others. Consciously design your best life. When you know your personal definition of success and you make smart daily choices to keep your fuel tank full, you are capable of leading a massive caravan of like-minded travelers who enthusiastically want to share this journey of life with you.

I look forward to hearing your feedback – and your best ideas for serving others in a bigger way while leveraging your time and energy.

About Guest Blogger Dr. Mollie Marti

Dr. Mollie Marti, founder of BestLifeDesign.com and coach to elite performers around the globe, pulls out all the stops to help you live a high impact life. This mom/psychologist/professor/lawyer/entrepreneur/author (…the list goes on) is smart enough not to play alone. She hangs with some of the world’s top thought leaders, from Mariel Hemingway to NY Times bestselling authors Daniel Pink and Bob Burg and her team is coming together to offer a powerful (and free!) Best Life Design TeleSummit. Grab your seat at this escaping mediocrity experience before they’re gone: http://bestlifedesign.com.

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 30th, 2010 at 8:44 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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http://www.ginaparris.com GinaParris
Those are beautiful points, Mollie! I have come to the conclusion this week that point number 8 is what is most needed in the world. It’s lack of unconditional self-love that makes every body strive like hamsters in a rat race for that elusive feeling of happiness. I don’t happen to think that kind of love can be manufactured. I think it is received in response to a Divine Revelation of Goodness.

http://BestLifeDesign.com drmolliemarti
Yes dear Gina – #8 is starting point … and ending point … and starting point … and ending point Agree it’s not about manufacturing – it’s about connecting to the love that is in all of us waiting to be embraced and shared with each other. There are some very effective tools to peel away the conditioning that tells us we aren’t worthy of such power. And once you begin to connect to your brilliance, the interconnection you feel with others naturally flows. Amazing process!!

Anonymous
I agree with Gina. Personally, when I made that shift to accept myself for who I am and love myself, I found the strength and courage to reach out and find wonderfully supportive like-minded people who are working with me on my new career (and life) journey.
Thank you for such an inspiring post, Mollie!

http://BestLifeDesign.com drmolliemarti
Yes! Only when you know and love yourself can others even find YOU and begin to offer authentic support. Thanks for your wise comment.

http://sallyg.me Sally G.
Dr. Mollie Marti ~ how I LOVE your work!! These words you’ve shared are powerful and, if followed – will yield mutual wins for both those who employ them as well as those they serve. I have to say though – I am completely struck by the visual you have used. It so clearly and succinctly depicts your message. It’s life giving (roots, leaves), nurturing (the roots shaped as a heart AND as the female reproductive system, the core or essence firmly at the foundation by lovingly surrounded and protected, the leaves receiving some light but also providing shade) and it’s healthy, tall, vibrant — WOW!
Your work really connects to me. I aspire to work with you one day! I’m now off to sign up for what feels like it will be an amazing TeleSummit — Best Life Design: http://bestlifedesign.com
Thanks so much Dr. Mollie!

http://BestLifeDesign.com drmolliemarti
Hope you saw my Reply to you below. It posted below. Disqus and I not getting along so well today Onward!

Guest
Hello Dr. Mollie!!
Gosh, the timing of your post is uncanny. These are things that I have been giving much thought to as of late. I love #8,too. The “self love” piece has given me conflict throughout my life. I am turning a corner, though. And, that, has inspired me tremendously.
I also enjoyed #5 and will check out Mr. Chapman’s book. Thanks ever so much for this suggestion. I’d also like to thank you for this “guest post” on Sarah’s blog. I hold BOTH of you with such high regard. #awesometasticwomen
Lastly, I suppose I was too late to sign up, as the link is now gone :=( I hope my friend Sally G. was able to sign up….as I will pick her brain after that week is over.
Thanks for all that YOU do to inspire & motivate & spread kindness & JOY!!
For some reason this post was linked to an Old account. I had on Twitter.
My name should read, Deb Bruser, aka @Joyfull_deb
Thanks :=)

http://BestLifeDesign.com drmolliemarti
Oh the uncanny timing of postings. Love that experience! When the student is ready, the teacher appears …
You are an awesometasticwoman, Deb! So glad you’re now signed up for Summit – page just went live today and team working out last couple glitches. Let me know what you think of Chapman’s book – been a life changer for many!

http://BestLifeDesign.com drmolliemarti
My assistant found this pic. Knew it was the ONE as soon as I laid eyes on it. In one of my programs, I use analogy of The Value Tree – from the values as roots up through your visions to LT goals, out to ST goals and then to daily goals (where you produce the fruit!). I’m surrounded by trees here on my farm and orchard. Such beauty – yet much less by comparison to the beauty of a human being growing with such strength, grace and vibrancy
You’re so kind. It’s my honor to serve you. Thanks for joining us at the Summit and for spreading the word. Going to be a life changer!
Deb Bruser
YaY….I was finally able to sign up for your series, Mollie. WOOTY WOOT !!
http://www.ginaparris.com GinaParris
Those are beautiful points, Mollie! I have come to the conclusion this week that point number 8 is what is most needed in the world. It's lack of unconditional self-love that makes every body strive like hamsters in a rat race for that elusive feeling of happiness. I don't happen to think that kind of love can be manufactured. I think it is received in response to a Divine Revelation of Goodness.
lipdesign
I agree with Gina. Personally, when I made that shift to accept myself for who I am and love myself, I found the strength and courage to reach out and find wonderfully supportive like-minded people who are working with me on my new career (and life) journey.
Thank you for such an inspiring post, Mollie!
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Caring-Creates-/228986840568 Sally G.
Dr. Mollie Marti ~ how I LOVE your work!! These words you've shared are powerful and, if followed – will yield mutual wins for both those who employ them as well as those they serve. I have to say though – I am completely struck by the visual you have used. It so clearly and succinctly depicts your message. It's life giving (roots, leaves), nurturing (the roots shaped as a heart AND as the female reproductive system, the core or essence firmly at the foundation by lovingly surrounded and protected, the leaves receiving some light but also providing shade) and it's healthy, tall, vibrant — WOW!
Your work really connects to me. I aspire to work with you one day! I'm now off to sign up for what feels like it will be an amazing TeleSummit — Best Life Design: http://bestlifedesign.com
Thanks so much Dr. Mollie!
http://BestLifeDesign.com drmolliemarti
Yes dear Gina – #8 is starting point … and ending point … and starting point … and ending point Agree it's not about manufacturing – it's about connecting to the love that is in all of us waiting to be embraced and shared with each other. There are some very effective tools to peel away the conditioning that tells us we aren't worthy of such power. And once you begin to connect to your brilliance, the interconnection you feel with others naturally flows. Amazing process!!
http://BestLifeDesign.com drmolliemarti
Yes! Only when you know and love yourself can others even find YOU and begin to offer authentic support. Thanks for your wise comment.
debsellsbr
Hello Dr. Mollie!!
Gosh, the timing of your post is uncanny. These are things that I have been giving much thought to as of late. I love #8,too. The “self love” piece has given me conflict throughout my life. I am turning a corner, though. And, that, has inspired me tremendously.
I also enjoyed #5 and will check out Mr. Chapman's book. Thanks ever so much for this suggestion. I'd also like to thank you for this “guest post” on Sarah's blog. I hold BOTH of you with such high regard. #awesometasticwomen
Lastly, I suppose I was too late to sign up, as the link is now gone :=( I hope my friend Sally G. was able to sign up….as I will pick her brain after that week is over.
Thanks for all that YOU do to inspire & motivate & spread kindness & JOY!!
http://BestLifeDesign.com drmolliemarti
My assistant found this pic. Knew it was the ONE as soon as I laid eyes on it. In one of my programs, I use analogy of The Value Tree – from the values as roots up through your visions to LT goals, out to ST goals and then to daily goals (where you produce the fruit!). I'm surrounded by trees here on my farm and orchard. Such beauty – yet much less by comparison to the beauty of a human being growing with such strength, grace and vibrancy
You're so kind. It's my honor to serve you. Thanks for joining us at the Summit and for spreading the word. Going to be a life changer!
Deb Bruser
YaY….I was finally able to sign up for your series, Mollie. WOOTY WOOT !!
http://BestLifeDesign.com drmolliemarti
Hope you saw my Reply to you below. It posted below. Disqus and I not getting along so well today Onward!
http://BestLifeDesign.com drmolliemarti
Oh the uncanny timing of postings. Love that experience! When the student is ready, the teacher appears …
You are an awesometasticwoman, Deb! So glad you're now signed up for Summit – page just went live today and team working out last couple glitches. Let me know what you think of Chapman's book – been a life changer for many!
Anonymous
I have found bigger can be much much much better… if you leverage your time – otherwise bigger simply becomes overwhelming! For me, the great thing about bigger and limited resources is I have become highly focused on what’s really important – personally and professionally… I am much clearer in allocating my time these days!!

http://BestLifeDesign.com drmolliemarti
Avoiding overwhelm goes to heart of how big/fast you grow your biz. Why do it if it’s not making you happy? As you know (kudos to you on doing it!), you CAN learn to better manage your time – and increase your energy. Two big pieces of enjoying the growth process. Thanks for stopping by!

ReviveCoaching
I have found bigger can be much much much better… if you leverage your time – otherwise bigger simply becomes overwhelming! For me, the great thing about bigger and limited resources is I have become highly focused on what's realllyl important – personally and professionally… I am much clearer in allocating my time these days!!
http://BestLifeDesign.com drmolliemarti
Avoiding overwhelm goes to heart of how big/fast you grow your biz. Why do it if it's not making you happy? As you know (kudos to you on doing it!), you CAN learn to better manage your time – and increase your energy. Two big pieces of enjoying the growth process. Thanks for stopping by!
http://themarketingmark.blogspot.com MarkSherrick
Wonderful.
I’ve actually read the 5 Love Languages…definitely recommend it. Its a great book about communication in general which gives a lot of people a bit of a shock once they read it.
Steps six through eight all tie together in one big step, IMHO…but seperating the description is definitely necessary. You need to be able to love yourself and see the changes you need to make, which are often in relation to the two way street of friendship. Sometimes your side is under construction, and sometimes its the other side, but when you’re down to one lane, its time for some work.
http://themarketingmark.blogspot.com MarkSherrick
Wonderful.
I've actually read the 5 Love Languages…definitely recommend it. Its a great book about communication in general which gives a lot of people a bit of a shock once they read it.
Steps six through eight all tie together in one big step, IMHO…but seperating the description is definitely necessary. You need to be able to love yourself and see the changes you need to make, which are often in relation to the two way street of friendship. Sometimes your side is under construction, and sometimes its the other side, but when you're down to one lane, its time for some work.
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