Escaping Mediocrity

Right in the middle of my event in Atlanta, right when I was the one teaching and leading the conversation, it hit me.

“Oh my god. The ship burning never stops for me.”

I actually stumbled in something I was saying because that thought hit my brain so hard.

(If you are wondering what I am talking about with this ship-burning thing, here is the original post where I wrote about it: http://escaping-mediocrity.com/uncommon-business/burn-the-ships/ )

For me, burning ships is about raising the stakes I am playing for. It’s about pushing myself to the edge and beyond of what I think I am capable of. It’s about taking risks again and again and again.

And what I realized in that moment of epiphany is that ship burning is not an infrequent, well-timed, well-thought-out event. At least not for me.

It is how I live. Every day. All the time. (Okay – not every single second because I do need to catch my breathe and rest – but I think you get my point.)

That is the only way I know how to make this journey of escaping mediocrity.

And yes, there are times when I wish I could cough of the pill of all this awareness and just live in blissful, passive oblivion. But those moments are few and far between and usually come when I am extremely tired or when my feelings are hurt.

But what I know, deep down in my soul at this very moment is this: Now that I know the thrill of watching the fires burn and turning to face lands unknown, I can’t imagine living any other way.

What about you? Is there a way you live now, are now, that you wouldn’t give up even if you could?

I’m scared. And nervous. And excited.

The blood is starting rush to my head and my stomach is queasy.

And I’m starting to dance around a lot because I’ve got the jitters.

But mostly, I just can’t wait.

I’m standing at the edge of a cliff, ready to make the biggest leap of my life.  I’ve prepared for it. I’ve worked for it. I’m ready for it. (Well, some moments I feel ready for it. Other moments I think ” What WERE you thinking?!?!?!”)

For me, this is where raising my stakes has led me; the culmination of burning my ships.

My job between now and leaping is to go through the steps in my mind. Envisioning each step along the way. Each move. Each twist. This is how Olympians prepare. It’s also how Tony-award winning actors prepare.

It makes the difference between breath-taking and also-ran.

I’m all in.

Creating Irresistible Presence begins in Atlanta on 9.23.  You still have time to join us.
http://www.irresistiblepresence.com

I did something extremely unusual this weekend. I took practically all three days off and spent time outdoors with friends and family.

With my live event just a couple of days away, it was tough to pull myself away. At first.

Then I got used to not being glued to my laptop and I discovered I LIKED being disconnecting and resting. And now that it is time get back to it, I find that my mind is fresh and I am far more creative. And I appreciate what I do for a living all the more.

It’s like music. The rests – or quiet parts – between measures or phrases are just as important as the measures and phrases filled with notes.  It takes BOTH to make music.

So if I have any sway at all over you and the choices you make, I HIGHLY encourage you to find the rest in between. then you and the rest of the world will be able to hear the music only you can compose.

I realized it last night. I’ve lost my edge around Escaping Mediocrity.

Between flying to Russia twice in a month and getting my first ever live event off the ground, I’ve let my commitment to Escaping Mediocrity get soft around the edges. And it shows.

My message is muddy. My blog posts don’t have their usual oomph. And I’m just not feelin’ it.

But that is going to change.

Here’s what I am thinking – and I need to know if you are in cuz I don’t want to do this by myself.

I am going to pick a day in the very near future and declare it Escaping Mediocrity Day.  And I am going to prepare for that day like I am preparing for a safari to Africa. Because I want it to be like that. Exciting. Adventurous. Traveling in new and unknown territory.

And I’m going to blog about it as it unfolds.

Now before I do all that, I REALLY need you to tell if you are ready, willing and able to do this with me, so share your thoughts with me. If it is a GO!, I will start our planning so we can all have an amazing day.

I await your comments with baited breathe!!!

I’ve heard it a lot lately – in emails, DMs, phone conversations, Skype chats – “I am having a really tough time making a decision about X.”

Heck – even I get stuck making decisions!

So I thought I would share the best tool Martha Beck taught me when we *think* we don’t know what to do. I love it because it taps into the deep wisdom our bodies hold that can circumvent our very smart and very conflicted brains.

(As a side note, many actors refer to their body as their “instrument”. It must always be kept in tune and in touch for it to operate properly. This exercise does exactly that!)

It’s called The Body Compass. And if you’re thinking – “yeah yeah, I already know that.”, do yourself a favor and re-visit it with a fresh heart.

Step 1. Think of the most joyful moment of your life.

Close your eyes and really put yourself into that moment. What do you see? Who was there? What do you smell? Anchor it into your senses. Now, scan your body. Where does that supremely joyful feeling live? Really nestle down into it’s place of residence like a big down bed.

Step 2. Think of the most heinous experience of your life.

Do everything you did in Step 1 to anchor it in your body. What do you see? Who is there? What do you smell. Once it’s vividly technicolor, scan your body again. Where does this complete and total yucky, nastly feeling live in your body. Now you don’t have to nestle down into it, but do make a note of it’s address in your body and what it feels like to be there.

Step 3. Summon the decision you must make.

Visualize each of your available options in turn. Breathe into the details. What will that option look like? Feel like? And when you really are “in” that option, where does the feeling it gives you “live”? Is it a nearby neighbor of Joyful or it camped out near YuckyMcNasty?  Don’t let your brain get in on this conversation. This is about tapping into what your body knows.

I’m guessing that one of the options in front of you lives in Joyful’s neighborhood. And, if I were you, that is the option I would choose.

So my challenge to the tribe is this: try this little exercise on a decision large (like should you move) or small (like what should you have for dinner) and let me know how it goes. As always, I am fascinated by what you teach me.

Love,

Sarah

P.S. Yep – it is a shameless self-promotion for the Creating Irresistible Presence Preview call TOMORROW (Thursday). I’ve got awesome teaching to share, a seat at CIP to give away and another trick up my sleeve, so I do hope you will join me! http://bit.ly/CIPPreview

This post will be short. With the 15 month old mini-turk running all over the place, my time to focus on writing is pretty limited.

But I did not want to miss checking in with my tribe because you all rock SO much.

This is thing I most want to say: Escaping Mediocrity isn’t for the faint-of-heart. And once you open the escape hatch in one area of your life, you’ve opened the hatch on all areas of your life.

With the hatch open and the course for your heart’s desire, your way may be clear but there are no promises that the way will be easy, fast or simple.

My life at this moment is a perfect example.

I need to do work on my live event, Creating Irresistible Presence. September will be here before I turn around. I also have a Preview Call to prep for and this blog post to write. And a fair number of emails to reply to. My business is growing – which is great! And yet the timing isn’t exactly ideal.

See, back in early summer when I announced my event, I had no idea when our adoption would actually take place. Russian adoption is a very last minute “hop on the plane now” kind of thing. So I had a choice.

1) I could out my life and my business on hold while I waited for an invitation from the Russian government

or

2) I could move ahead with the things I felt called to do, especially in my business, knowing that if and when we got “the call” I would find a way.

Obviously I chose Door No. 2.

And today Door No. 2 feels hard. But what I know is that this feeling will pass and I will get the things done that I need to get done. Maybe not perfectly and maybe not in the time I would like, but they WILL get done.

So, I screw up my courage and my faith (again!) and put one foot in front of the other.

My question for you today is this: Is there an Escape Hatch you are afraid to open because you don’t know HOW it will work out? What exactly are your choices? Write them down in black and white so you know what your are choosing between. Then make the very best choice you can – for today and for the rest of your life.

If one more thing happens this week, I may go screaming into the streets.

It’s been a JAM-PACKED week for me. Getting Creating Irresistible Presence off the ground, organizing the 30 Days to Irresistible Presence blog series, and some very big stuff happening on the personal front that I can’t share just yet.

It is all amazing stuff.

And it is all happening at the same time.

And I am afraid I am going to drop something very important. Or that I will fall down.

And don’t tell me I won’t, or it will be ok, or nothing will break. And to take a deep breath.

Cuz I know all that and I am still scared.  And overwhelmed. And uncertain.

But here is the one thing I am NOT: alone.

I have my tribe. I have my inner circle. I have my family. And they will see me through. They will hold certainty for me when I cannot.

And what I know beyond a shadow of a doubt is, this too shall pass.

So I am keeping my eye on the prize that is right in front of me. Doing the do’s I know to do.

And that will make all the difference.

Actually, that should be the extent of my post because that is about where I am today.

It’s just not going according to plan – even with all the flex I built into the plan.

This use to freak me out (and truth be told, I freaked out just a bit over the past 24 hours). I used to pass judgment on myself and create never-ending nightmare scenarios in my head about how awful it was all going to turn out.

I don’t do that any more.

I do stress myself beyond the point of reason but fortunately there are people in my life who cut that pretty short. They won’t allow me to churn in my unreasonable thinking for very long. They are bright shiny spots in my life.

So now what do I do when it doesn’t go according to plan?

Well, first I say it out loud. “This is not going according to plan. And I won’t die because of it.”

Then I tell people who need to know that the plan needs modifying. Like I need to say to you, my tribe, that registration for my live event won’t open on Thursday because there are some key details that I am waiting for.

Then I let myself off the hook. Cuz, like I said, I won’t die and, as best I can tell, neither will anyone else.

And that’s where I am today.

Where are you?

Apparently I have an intimate relationship with “Everybody”. I can read their minds. I scurry to please them. I hover over the publish button, worrying about how they will respond to whatever I am posting. I fear them.

“What will Everybody think?”

“What will Everybody say?”

“What if Everybody hates me?”

“What would make Everybody love me?”

“What if Nobody (just another word for Everybody) likes it or me?”

Yeah – I’m twisted like that.

Pretty powerful group, this “everybody” who resides in my head. If I allow them, they will control my every move.

Fortunately, I had a pretty amazing teacher who gave me some insights around Everybody. Her name is Martha Beck. (I was lucky enough to be personally trained by her a life coach – AMAZING experience. But I digress.) And I would like to share a few of her thoughts on managing Everybody.

So, let’s use my Burn The Ships post as an example. Writing and hovering over the Publish button brought out every fear I had about Everybody. What would they think? Would they still respect me in the morning? Would they laugh at me? All that mess.

So here are the questions Martha taught me to ask:

- Can you name five specific people who would agree with Everybody?

- If yes, do you even like these people?

- If yes, will the people who love really care about the opinion of these people?

- If yes, are these people actually people you want in your space anyway?

-If yes, are there an equal number of specific people who would disagree with everybody?

- In the end, and if there really are 5 people – and I usually struggle to come up with who they are – do I care about what they think enough to let them control me?

Now, I will confess that the fear does not magically and completely leave me once I run through answering all these questions. BUT, it does shrink the size of my fear – and of Everybody – considerably.

What about you? How do you deal with Everybody?

P.S. Don’t forget – the first Ustream Tribal Meeting is tonight (Tuesday) at 10p EST. http://www.ustream.tv/channel/escaping-mediocrity.

an essay by The Young Turk

If I were a snail I would be a pond snail. I would swim fairly slow. I would be very useless.  My shell would be made out of calcium. I would play. We would play with another snail. We would play.  I would leave a trail of slime. I would love being a snail.

I would have one foot.

I would have fun.

Also I would play snail ball.