![Why would you try so hard to fit in? [Day 9 - 30 Days to Changing Your Game]](http://escaping-mediocrity.com/wp-content/plugins/ttftitles/cache/b20a4891e3601ba2bb3d65a5757f9c3c.png?cda6c1){kind=small}
Today is Day 9 of 30 Days to Changing Your Game. Mary Kay Morgan gave us some serious marching orders yesterday, didn’t she?! Lots to learn from Tiger Woods. Today, my friend and marketer extraordinaire Shelly Kramer challenges us to be who we are, uncover what we REALLY want, and GO FOR IT!
Why would you try so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out?
by Shelley Kramer http://www.twitter.com/ShellyKramer)
I saw that quote the other day – words attributed to Yoda, in The Empire Strikes Back and was immediately inspired by
it. It’s true you know. We were all born “originals.” Unique, perfect, capable of great things, if only we allow ourselves to imagine those things and then take a tiny step further and actually do those things.
But sometimes, somewhere along the way, things change. An education gets interrupted, a young wife gets pregnant, someone dies and we need to step up. Sometimes we just get locked into a job. Maybe it pays well, maybe it makes us feel secure, and maybe, over time, we lose confidence in our ability to move on, make a change, and do something different. We get complacent. We lose our confidence. We lose our game. Sometimes we even get scared. And the more that people depend on us, the more scared we get.
Trust me, I’ve lived all those things. I was the person who got married at 20 for no good reason, unexpectedly pregnant two months into the marriage, divorced 6 years later while in the middle of working on my undergraduate degree. I know about life throwing us curve balls. My whole life has been one curve ball after the next.
But here’s what else I know. Complacency doesn’t inspire greatness. Being settled, afraid to rock the boat, filled with dreams but afraid to take them on or feeling as if so many other people depend on you that it really isn’t possible to take a chance – those are all things I get. But I’ll say it again – in case you weren’t listening: Complacency doesn’t inspire greatness. And it rarely inspires great happiness. And I probably don’t need to mention that it rarely inspires great success.
Here’s what else I know. Squaring your shoulders, taking a deep breath and taking a risk is the surest way to the path to happiness. For you and for the people who depend on you. Humans have a funny way of behaving when life depends on us. We tend to make things happen.
I remember when I first started my consulting business, quite by accident, in fact. I was a single mom with two teenagers and scared to death. But there was no one to provide for us – no one but me. I remember taking phone calls from prospective clients who asked me “Well, can you do this? What about x, y and z?” And every time they asked me those questions I said “Well, sure. Of course I can.” And you know what – it worked! They believed in me. And because they believed in me, I believed in myself. And when I didn’t know exactly how to do what they’d asked me to do, I was smart enough to be able to pick up the phone and call someone who did, and recruit them to collaborate with me.
Another example from my own life happened within the last few years. My husband, in casual conversation one night, mentioned that he always wanted to get his MBA, and was disappointed in himself that he’d let that chance pass him by. It was at a time when his company was paying 100% of the costs for an MBA program and, as we talked further, I realized the only thing holding him back was him. And his supposition that his MBA quest was a luxury that we couldn’t really afford – either financially or otherwise. We were expecting twins, had bought more house than we could really afford, I wasn’t working, we were learning to live without my income – oh, and we had another house that we owned that we’d tried unsuccessfully to sell in a down real estate market. In short, we were poor and busy. And yet, it was his dream to have an MBA.
So, we sucked it up, tightened the belt a bit further, he went without much sleep for two years and studied his ass off. Honestly, I don’t know how he did it. Oh, and I forgot to mention his job required him to travel 85% of the time, often leaving on Sundays, returning on Thursday afternoon in time to make it to his weekly MBA class. But he did it. And the kids and I managed just fine. Lo and behold, we even managed to pay our bills in the process. And, before we knew it, two years had passed and he had an MBA in hand. Dream –> Reality.
Those are my life examples – and I know you have your own. And while they’re different, they’re really the same. They almost always are.
So here’s my game changing challenge to you. Believe in yourself. Whether you have a job or you’re looking for one. Whether you have a family or not. Dig down deep within your heart and ask yourself what really inspires you. What you really, really want to spend your life and your time and your talents and your energies doing. Talk with your wife, your boyfriend, your kids or your parents – and tell them your dream. Ask them to believe in you and support you as you set out on the journey of believing in yourself.
Remember – or maybe learn anew, what it’s like to be anxious, afraid, nervous. Take a chance. Take a risk. Trust in your abilities. And, remember, as Yoda once said, “There is no ‘try’.”
Shelly Kramer is the founder of V3 Integrated Marketing and founder of Kramer & Co, both full service marketing firms headquartered in Kansas City, MO, and doing business with clients all over the world. In addition to her marketing savvy, she’s a sought after consultant and speaker, well-known for her “keeping it real” persona. She’s irreverent, irrepressible and possessed of a wicked sense of humor. In short, when she’s in the room, you know it. But seriously, she knows her stuff. A 20+ year marketing veteran, she’s a strategist, brand builder, deep thinker, information junkie, communicator extraordinaire, buzz builder and lover of all things related to social media. She’s real in every sense of the word and it only takes a few moments in her presence to sense that. Shelly’s adept at helping individuals and brands find their voice in the realm of new media and understand the importance of diving into this ever-changing new world. Her practical, no-nonsense approach to both business, and life in general, make her an engaging speaker, a great listener and someone who can always be counted on to tell it like it is. And, when it comes to business her clients will be the first to tell you she is, without question, their secret weapon. You can read her blog here: http://www.v3im.com/blog and find her on Twitter @shellykramer
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