I hate getting yelled at

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[Update: The firm I talk about below and I have moved forward. The project at hand is far more important than personal differences. As always, there two sides to every coin and I feel certain that I share in the responsibility of how this thing played out. Apologies have been made an accepted - and now it is time to move on. ~S.]

Last night I go yelled at over the phone. And I mean the I-had-to-pull-the-phone-away-from-my-ear kind of yelled at.

What is particularly interesting about this is that a) I was being yelled at by the head of an outfit that my husband and I have paid to significant amount of money to help us with something pretty major and 2) I was being yelled at because I had the audacity to express frustration and my feelings about a lack of partnership.

Oh – and the person yelling told ME to calm down.

Here’s the thing about this. Aside from the fact that I truly hate being yelled at (it makes me feel like a little kid who has done something terribly wrong), I think the firm in question totally lost sight of the fact the we are clients. We get to be frustrated. And yelling about how we don’t “understand” that we are partners doesn’t make those feelings any different.

Because I do try to turn most anything into a teachable something, here is what I am taking away from this experience:

1. If someone is paying you money for something – especially if it is a significant amount of money TO THEM – they are a client. They deserve to be treated as clients.

2. Telling clients that their feelings are wrong, making them feel wrong, and generally talking down to them is never a good move.

3. Hiding behind “policies and procedures” to deflect honest customer dissatisfaction is cowardly.

4. If you have forced your client to be their own advocate and agreed to their requests, it is totally out of bounds to bottle up resentment about it and dump it on them later.

5. Being able to put yourself in the shoes of your client and really see things through their eyes is the heart of amazing customer service.

6. Though the natural knee-jerk reaction to hearing something unflattering is to be defensive, I’ve never seen that create a happy ending.

7. Accepting 0% responsibility in a heated client situation isn’t going to create a happy ending either.

8. Most client dissatisfaction can be defused by sincere interest in their pain and discomfort.

9. Though you may know more than your client about the details of a situation, don’t make them feel unintelligent.

10. Yelling at a client is always always always a bad idea.

I don’t know. Maybe I expect too much in this legalistic, CYA world we now seem to reside in. And stellar customer service is a rare exception in a world where mediocre is the accepted norm.

What say you? What are your best client relations/customer service suggestions? Oh – and here’s the test: before you suggest them for others, make sure you are willing to deliver them yourself.

No related posts.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 11th, 2010 at 10:09 am and is filed under Uncategorized, Uncommon Business. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Kristy
It is amazing how far a simple “I’m sorry” and what can I do to help will go…and how infrequently those words are spoken.

Anonymous
That would have diffused the ENTIRE situation Kristy. And sadly – it has yet to be said.

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http://www.artisticsensations.com/ kgellman
Sarah- yelling can never be a good thing. Take a deep breath, step back and reassess the situation. There is nothing wrong with expressing your feelings. I think you need to let them know in the future – that you want calm conversations and professionalism. That’s just not right. I feel for you!

Anonymous
At the moment we are confining our conversations to email. It keeps the emotions out of it. And I agree – it is NEVER ok in a business situation.

http://www.corporatefugitive.com Sherri Garrity
Must be something in the air lately. Some trying to SELL me something did the equivalent in email ended up with calling me stupid Not a great way to build customer relationships or word of mouth referrals, which as a business advisor, I recommend at top high return suggestions for your business.

http://www.jessilicious.com Jess Webb
My boyfriend had something similar happen with someone trying to SELL him something! It was also via email and ended when he referred them to someone else who would be more interested in the opportunity – and the sales guy made some comment about “not doing business with house wives who invest in realestate”. The woman he referred this guy to is actually a good business woman who looks for good opportunities to invest in a variety of things! How little he knew….
Anonymous
I know right? When did condescension becomes a sales strategy?!

http://virginbloggernotes.com/ virginbloggernotes
I hate being yelled at too. Totally. I used to work as a customer service rep for an auto repair service and from there I learned the value of listening. I would not respond at all until the customer had said everything they wanted to say and paused for a while. Then I would ask if there was anything else they’d like to add. If not, I asked them what their ideal resolution to the situation would be. After they told me, I thanked them for their feedback and ideas and then I got to work at finding a solution to bring back to the table. By listening and treating them respect, I could establish that I wasn’t an adversary, and this really helped.

Anonymous
See – you could build a WHOLE business around teaching people to do what you just wrote in that short paragraph. And I am not kidding.

http://fearlesscreativity.com tobias tinker
agreed. That is what customer service would be like in heaven, I think… though of course that raises the question of what precisely one would be calling to complain about. Maybe they don’t even need customer service? It would probably be a dull job, anyway. Like the Maytag repairman on those old commercials.

http://www.rochelleveturis.com Rochelle Veturis
Agreed. Nice paragraph of very useful advice. Sending a big hug your way Sarah. I cannot fathom anyone yelling at you … it is unimaginable.

http://www.nobrain-noheadache.com/ irishis
I got a “yelling” call from a stranger a couple weeks ago threatened to sue me and take my house etc.. because of spam he was receiving that he said one of my clients was sending. I was never allowed to speak, it left me shaking and really upset. Flashbacks of childhood and getting in trouble. The really sad thing was I could have helped this man and put an end to what was happening to him but all he wanted was to make someone feel bad. Next time I will not take anyone yelling at me like that, nothing gets accomplished accept making another person feel as bad as they do. Not gonna happen. Take care and know you are better than that.

Anonymous
Yes – I should have ended the call much sooner than I did. #lessonlearned

http://www.jessilicious.com Jess Webb
Customer service is sadly lacking everywhere these days – which means that it is easy for the rest of us to really blow the socks off our clients by treating them right – and REALLY wow them by going the extra mile! When the rest of the world is content to settle for mediocrity, it makes those of us who AREN’T will to settle stand out and thrive that much more.

Kristin
Yes, that’s the upside of a lower level of customer service. It is much easier to amaze our customers by just listening to their problems and treating them with respect.

Anonymous
Totally agree ladies. It doesn’t take much to wow the pants of off people these days because the bar is set so incredibly low.

http://landoncreasy.wordpress.com/ Landon Creasy
Great post!
Wow. I can’t imagine having that experience from someone whose salary I am paying. My response would likely include two elements, one of which is putting down the phone, the other involving ceasing payment for their services…
As a leader in the military, I don’t actually yell at people (I know, sounds strange, the navy is where you would expect to find that). Why? Because it’s ineffective. People shut off altogether. They stop listening. In my line of work, the only time that yelling is acceptable is for safety – to stop an accident for example. That sort of yelling doesn’t involve anger – it merely involves startling for attention. And if used more than sparingly, it loses it’s ability to capture attention.
Yelling = all bad.
Cheers,
Landon Creasy
http://landoncreasy.wordpress.com
Great post!

Anonymous
Awesome comment Landon! Unfortunately the thing we are working on is difficult to extract ourselves from at this point. And they know that.
I love that you don’t raise your voice unless it is because of danger. I completely agree that all it does is make people tune you out.
Making a note to self……:-)

http://sallyg.me Sally G.
Emotions are a terrible thing to loosely fling around.
I think the best thing you can do in the area of Customer Service is to respond to ALL clients with a genuine interest and passion towards ensuring they leave your exchange satisfied, or better.
Letting your own life, feelings, filters get in the way of who is interacting with you is the beginning of a downward spiral that can end with disastrous results.
Chances are, this individual who yelled at you was coming from a place where she was frustrated at her own inability to do more, give more, make things right. (I’ve done this with my own children, I’m ashamed to say.) If we don’t step out of that place quickly and focus on the needs of the other ~ then it will appear and feel like our frustration and anger is AT them and not FOR them.
I’m sorry this happened to you ~ and it’s fertile ground for Customer Service lessons for sure!

Anonymous
Oh – the follow up email I received post-yelling made it very clear that I was 100% responsible for the outburst. Still trying to work out how exactly that is possible…..
And yes you are so right. Getting our crap out of the way when we are interacting with others is the fastest way to build UP a relationship. You are so wise.

http://twitter.com/dnceluv Shay Rae
OOOOOOOh sooo true! I had a conversation with someone last week about how customer service has dropped significantly! I mean, when I called my dentist’s office, the new receptionist was chomping on a piece of gum and answered the phone by saying “Hello” as opposed to “Dr. Xyz’s office how may I help you”. Call me old fashioned, but things just used to be different back in the day. I mean, I’m certainly not old enough to say this, but I feel like the level of client/customer care given by companies is truly lacking. Perhaps you can give your top 10 list to a some corporations and businesses that could really use a reality check. You could even add a little message “Want to know why you’re clients/customers are willing to pay an extra $5 to your competitor? Read this list to find out why.”

Anonymous
Wonder if they would even bother to listen. And I am old fashioned just like you. I really get annoyed when the cashier is smacking gum, talking on her cell phone and taking my money for a purchase. Really?!

http://idea15.wordpress.com Heather
I’ve just had to drop a client after receving a series of abusive, rambling emails from them. The issue was that they asked me to make some out-of-pocket expense purchases for their project. I put the expenses on my own credit card and immediately sent them an invoice with the receipts attached, as they had requested. Incredibly, the treasurer of the organisation misunderstood what a purchase receipt looks like, and went and bought a *second* set of the same things I had already purchased for them. And refused to compensate me for my expenses on the first set. When I sent a perfectly calm and coherent email explaining this situation, the verbal abuse started. Within an hour I’d received four abusive emails from two members of this client organisation. I have been accused of all sorts; I have had my personal character attacked; they have said it’s *me* who has misunderstood the situation; and I have been called a “bully” for taking the time to explain the situation. I am clearly never going to see reimbursement for the out of pocket expenses they asked me to take on.
I take aboard all of the suggestions you have said – many of them applied to this very difficult project – but when a client chooses to respond with verbal abuse, shouting, and nutjob behavior, the contract is as good as shredded.

Anonymous
oh man Heather. I’ve sadly had a client like that too! It cuts both ways I think. There is a limit to what a client should take from a provider and there is a limit to what a provider should take from a client. I mean, isn’t what we are really talking about here is professional courtesy and behaviour? I for one don’t believe that is to much to expect in a professional relationship.

http://katjaibur.posterous.com/ Kat Jaibur
1. “If it’s hysterical, it’s historical.”
That’s what my friend Jody taught me. When something gets to the point of yelling, it’s not about the issue you think it is. Whoever is doing the yelling needs to step back and ask, “What is really going on here?” Maybe the yell-ee could ask that, too. Depends on the circumstance.
2. Whoever is doing the paying is the CLIENT. And clients get to: a) be treated with respect b) have agreements honored c) be offered a solution or an apology or a refund (or all of the above) if you can’t meet their needs. Period.
Last week, I had a situation where a neurologist basically told my mother’s nurses that he couldn’t be bothered to give his findings to us, her family. That we should get it 2nd hand from the attending physician. I was floored! In fact, I tweeted that I think healthcare providers should remember that patients are really clients. And then I let the hospital and the attending doctor know that I found this behavior unacceptable.
Which reminds me of another adage: “Say what you mean but don’t be mean when you say it.”

Anonymous
Yeah – I am just baffled by it all sometimes. Simply baffled. But I liked your final point – it’s something I try to remember when I am in tough conversations.

http://www.austinconcerttickets.net/ Dee
I’m with you, many companies have lost site of treating people with respect. I remember how astounded I was with my first experience with GoDaddy.. we could all take lessons from them!
In today’s more competitive world, you’ll die without at least good customer service.. but why not strive for excellence?

Anonymous
Oh yeah – dealing with GoDaddy is like a crash course in how NOT to do customer service, isn’t it. It’s sad that we jump up and down over “good” because even that is rare. Fortunately, I think The Tribe has it’s sights set on “excellent” which makes me VERY proud.

http://www.austinconcerttickets.net/ Dee @AustinConcert
Sarah..
I have to clarify something..
I actually meant GoDaddy was one of my fav customer service oriented companies. I threw their name out there because I’ve always had incredibly fantastic experiences with them.
Cheers from Dee!

http://www.talktherapybiz.com Linda Esposito
I cannot agree more that customer service is crucial to running any kind of business.
Nobody likes a smackdown, and I’m sorry you had to endure that. I actually had a very similar episode yesterday, but to be honest, I don’t have the emotional energy to file a formal complaint with the BBB….although, after reading this post, I just may muster the mental action plan.

Anonymous
I’m not filing a formal complaint. At least not until my project is finished. I think it would just fan the flames, which are just starting to calm down. But that’s not to say I won’t think about it once it’s all said and done. Let me know what you decide to do. I may take notes!

Kristy
It is amazing how far a simple “I'm sorry” and what can I do to help will go…and how infrequently those words are spoken.
http://www.artisticsensations.com/ kgellman
Sarah- yelling can never be a good thing. Take a deep breath, step back and reassess the situation. There is nothing wrong with expressing your feelings. I think you need to let them know in the future – that you want calm conversations and professionalism. That's just not right. I feel for you!
http://www.corporatefugitive.com Sherri Garrity
Must be something in the air lately. Some trying to SELL me something did the equivalent in email ended up with calling me stupid Not a great way to build customer relationships or word of mouth referrals, which as a business advisor, I recommend at top high return suggestions for your business.
http://virginbloggernotes.com/ virginbloggernotes
I hate being yelled at too. Totally. I used to work as a customer service rep for an auto repair service and from there I learned the value of listening. I would not respond at all until the customer had said everything they wanted to say and paused for a while. Then I would ask if there was anything else they'd like to add. If not, I asked them what their ideal resolution to the situation would be. After they told me, I thanked them for their feedback and ideas and then I got to work at finding a solution to bring back to the table. By listening and treating them respect, I could establish that I wasn't an adversary, and this really helped.
http://www.nobrain-noheadache.com/ irishis
I got a “yelling” call from a stranger a couple weeks ago threatened to sue me and take my house etc.. because of spam he was receiving that he said one of my clients was sending. I was never allowed to speak, it left me shaking and really upset. Flashbacks of childhood and getting in trouble. The really sad thing was I could have helped this man and put an end to what was happening to him but all he wanted was to make someone feel bad. Next time I will not take anyone yelling at me like that, nothing gets accomplished accept making another person feel as bad as they do. Not gonna happen. Take care and know you are better than that.
http://www.jessilicious.com Jess Webb
Customer service is sadly lacking everywhere these days – which means that it is easy for the rest of us to really blow the socks off our clients by treating them right – and REALLY wow them by going the extra mile! When the rest of the world is content to settle for mediocrity, it makes those of us who AREN'T will to settle stand out and thrive that much more.
http://www.jessilicious.com Jess Webb
My boyfriend had something similar happen with someone trying to SELL him something! It was also via email and ended when he referred them to someone else who would be more interested in the opportunity – and the sales guy made some comment about “not doing business with house wives who invest in realestate”. The woman he referred this guy to is actually a good business woman who looks for good opportunities to invest in a variety of things! How little he knew….
http://landoncreasy.wordpress.com/ Landon Creasy
Great post!
Wow. I can't imagine having that experience from someone whose salary I am paying. My response would likely include two elements, one of which is putting down the phone, the other involving ceasing payment for their services…
As a leader in the military, I don't actually yell at people (I know, sounds strange, the navy is where you would expect to find that). Why? Because it's ineffective. People shut off altogether. They stop listening. In my line of work, the only time that yelling is acceptable is for safety – to stop an accident for example. That sort of yelling doesn't involve anger – it merely involves startling for attention. And if used more than sparingly, it loses it's ability to capture attention.
Yelling = all bad.
Cheers,
Landon Creasy
http://landoncreasy.wordpress.com
Great post!
Kristin
Yes, that's the upside of a lower level of customer service. It is much easier to amaze our customers by just listening to their problems and treating them with respect.
http://sallyg.me Sally G.
Emotions are a terrible thing to loosely fling around.
I think the best thing you can do in the area of Customer Service is to respond to ALL clients with a genuine interest and passion towards ensuring they leave your exchange satisfied, or better.
Letting your own life, feelings, filters get in the way of who is interacting with you is the beginning of a downward spiral that can end with disastrous results.
Chances are, this individual who yelled at you was coming from a place where she was frustrated at her own inability to do more, give more, make things right. (I've done this with my own children, I'm ashamed to say.) If we don't step out of that place quickly and focus on the needs of the other ~ then it will appear and feel like our frustration and anger is AT them and not FOR them.
I'm sorry this happened to you ~ and it's fertile ground for Customer Service lessons for sure!
http://twitter.com/dnceluv Shay Rae
OOOOOOOh sooo true! I had a conversation with someone last week about how customer service has dropped significantly! I mean, when I called my dentist's office, the new receptionist was chomping on a piece of gum and answered the phone by saying “Hello” as opposed to “Dr. Xyz's office how may I help you”. Call me old fashioned, but things just used to be different back in the day. I mean, I'm certainly not old enough to say this, but I feel like the level of client/customer care given by companies is truly lacking. Perhaps you can give your top 10 list to a some corporations and businesses that could really use a reality check. You could even add a little message “Want to know why you're clients/customers are willing to pay an extra $5 to your competitor? Read this list to find out why.”
sarahrobinson
That would have diffused the ENTIRE situation Kristy. And sadly – it has yet to be said.
sarahrobinson
At the moment we are confining our conversations to email. It keeps the emotions out of it. And I agree – it is NEVER ok in a business situation.
sarahrobinson
I know right? When did condescension becomes a sales strategy?!
sarahrobinson
See – you could build a WHOLE business around teaching people to do what you just wrote in that short paragraph. And I am not kidding.
sarahrobinson
Yes – I should have ended the call much sooner than I did. #lessonlearned
sarahrobinson
Totally agree ladies. It doesn't take much to wow the pants of off people these days because the bar is set so incredibly low.
sarahrobinson
Awesome comment Landon! Unfortunately the thing we are working on is difficult to extract ourselves from at this point. And they know that.
I love that you don't raise your voice unless it is because of danger. I completely agree that all it does is make people tune you out.
Making a note to self……:-)
sarahrobinson
Oh – the follow up email I received post-yelling made it very clear that I was 100% responsible for the outburst. Still trying to work out how exactly that is possible…..
And yes you are so right. Getting our crap out of the way when we are interacting with others is the fastest way to build UP a relationship. You are so wise.
sarahrobinson
Wonder if they would even bother to listen. And I am old fashioned just like you. I really get annoyed when the cashier is smacking gum, talking on her cell phone and taking my money for a purchase. Really?!
http://fearlesscreativity.com tobias tinker
agreed. That is what customer service would be like in heaven, I think… though of course that raises the question of what precisely one would be calling to complain about. Maybe they don't even need customer service? It would probably be a dull job, anyway. Like the Maytag repairman on those old commercials.
http://idea15.wordpress.com Heather
I've just had to drop a client after receving a series of abusive, rambling emails from them. The issue was that they asked me to make some out-of-pocket expense purchases for their project. I put the expenses on my own credit card and immediately sent them an invoice with the receipts attached, as they had requested. Incredibly, the treasurer of the organisation misunderstood what a purchase receipt looks like, and went and bought a *second* set of the same things I had already purchased for them. And refused to compensate me for my expenses on the first set. When I sent a perfectly calm and coherent email explaining this situation, the verbal abuse started. Within an hour I'd received four abusive emails from two members of this client organisation. I have been accused of all sorts; I have had my personal character attacked; they have said it's *me* who has misunderstood the situation; and I have been called a “bully” for taking the time to explain the situation. I am clearly never going to see reimbursement for the out of pocket expenses they asked me to take on.
I take aboard all of the suggestions you have said – many of them applied to this very difficult project – but when a client chooses to respond with verbal abuse, shouting, and nutjob behavior, the contract is as good as shredded.
http://www.coachedbygrace.com Grace Mendez
I like to think that everyone is doing the best that they can. It is unfortunate though that sometimes their best doesn’t suit our needs. Sigh…

Anonymous
I like to think that too. Otherwise I’d just go screaming into the street.

http://playitforward.posterous.com/ Kat Jaibur
1. “If it's hysterical, it's historical.”
That's what my friend Jody taught me. When something gets to the point of yelling, it's not about the issue you think it is. Whoever is doing the yelling needs to step back and ask, “What is really going on here?” Maybe the yell-ee could ask that, too. Depends on the circumstance.
2. Whoever is doing the paying is the CLIENT. And clients get to: a) be treated with respect b) have agreements honored c) be offered a solution or an apology or a refund (or all of the above) if you can't meet their needs. Period.
Last week, I had a situation where a neurologist basically told my mother's nurses that he couldn't be bothered to give his findings to us, her family. That we should get it 2nd hand from the attending physician. I was floored! In fact, I tweeted that I think healthcare providers should remember that patients are really clients. And then I let the hospital and the attending doctor know that I found this behavior unacceptable.
Which reminds me of another adage: “Say what you mean but don't be mean when you say it.”
http://www.austinconcerttickets.net/ Dee
I'm with you, many companies have lost site of treating people with respect. I remember how astounded I was with my first experience with GoDaddy.. we could all take lessons from them!
In today's more competitive world, you'll die without at least good customer service.. but why not strive for excellence?
http://www.talktherapybiz.com Linda Esposito
I cannot agree more that customer service is crucial to running any kind of business.
Nobody likes a smackdown, and I'm sorry you had to endure that. I actually had a very similar episode yesterday, but to be honest, I don't have the emotional energy to file a formal complaint with the BBB….although, after reading this post, I just may muster the mental action plan.
Anonymous
Acknowledging what your client is feeling and validating those feelings can go a long way in helping that person to push through the situation and to be able to look at the situation more objectively. Serving a client is a privilege–that should always be remembered.
Anonymous
I just had one more thought… would it be helpful to have someone serve as your advocate with this person? Someone who is in the same line of work could approach them to try to get the differences resolved. (and to help them see your perspective!)

Anonymous
It’s a great idea Diane. For the time being, it looks like things have calmed down and for the good of finishing the project we are all making a go of getting along.

Anonymous
Good, Sarah. I am glad to hear that you are making a go of it! It is good to have a Tribe to lean on!

gracemayorga
I like to think that everyone is doing the best that they can. It is unfortunate though that sometimes their best doesn't suit our needs. Sigh…
dianebrooks
Acknowledging what your client is feeling and validating those feelings can go a long way in helping that person to push through the situation and to be able to look at the situation more objectively. Serving a client is a privilege–that should always be remembered.
dianebrooks
I just had one more thought… would it be helpful to have someone serve as your advocate with this person? Someone who is in the same line of work could approach them to try to get the differences resolved. (and to help them see your perspective!)
sarahrobinson
oh man Heather. I've sadly had a client like that too! It cuts both ways I think. There is a limit to what a client should take from a provider and there is a limit to what a provider should take from a client. I mean, isn't what we are really talking about here is professional courtesy and behaviour? I for one don't believe that is to much to expect in a professional relationship.
sarahrobinson
Yeah – I am just baffled by it all sometimes. Simply baffled. But I liked your final point – it's something I try to remember when I am in tough conversations.
sarahrobinson
Oh yeah – dealing with GoDaddy is like a crash course in how NOT to do customer service, isn't it. It's sad that we jump up and down over “good” because even that is rare. Fortunately, I think The Tribe has it's sights set on “excellent” which makes me VERY proud.
sarahrobinson
I'm not filing a formal complaint. At least not until my project is finished. I think it would just fan the flames, which are just starting to calm down. But that's not to say I won't think about it once it's all said and done. Let me know what you decide to do. I may take notes!
sarahrobinson
I like to think that too. Otherwise I'd just go screaming into the street.
sarahrobinson
It's a great idea Diane. For the time being, it looks like things have calmed down and for the good of finishing the project we are all making a go of getting along.
dianebrooks
Good, Sarah. I am glad to hear that you are making a go of it! It is good to have a Tribe to lean on!
http://ramartijr.com Richard Allan Marti Jr
Who is John Gault? (and I consider myself progressive) I see this kind of thing happening in so many areas of our society; Blaming, Finger pointing, abdicating responsibility, defensive responses, etc.
In this situation Sarah, I think it boils down to this: Who is responsible for managing expectations? Since we hire others who are in seemingly positions of higher knowledge, the responsibility of managing expectations is clearly in the suppliers court.
The correct response when expectations are not matched is one of listening and ensuring that the client is deeply understood. Only then can solutions can be mutually explored and everyone is left better off.
People may say I am a dreamer… but according to John Lennon, “… I’m not the only one.”
http://ramartijr.com Richard Allan Marti Jr
Who is John Gault? (and I consider myself progressive) I see this kind of thing happening in so many areas of our society; Blaming, Finger pointing, abdicating responsibility, defensive responses, etc.
In this situation Sarah, I think it boils down to this: Who is responsible for managing expectations? Since we hire others who are in seemingly positions of higher knowledge, the responsibility of managing expectations is clearly in the suppliers court.
The correct response when expectations are not matched is one of listening and ensuring that the client is deeply understood. Only then can solutions can be mutually explored and everyone is left better off.
People may say I am a dreamer… but according to John Lennon, “… I'm not the only one.”
http://www.sundaynightsuccess.com Jeremie
As a teacher I am always amazed at the amount of yelling that happens in some classrooms. Teaching, customer service, business; they are all based on relationships and building relationships. If I don’t have a good relationship with my students they won’t listen to me, never mind learn what I am sharing with them. I think the same applies to customer service and business. One person yells, and every piece of communication during that interaction, from that point on, is completely pointless. No one is listening.
Without a good relationship there is no communication, just parallel noise that neither person is really listening too.
I use this with my wife all the time now and it has made a big difference to our relationship. As soon as one of us starts yelling, we just end the discussion, to be picked up later when we are both prepared to actually listen.
Sarah, I am glad to hear you have moved forward in this situation and are once again communicating with this person. It sounds like taking a break worked.
Anonymous
I’ve been a travel agent for the past 20 years,(I’m not that old -started early:) ). In travel business there are lots of misunderstandings and other issues that makes your client to complain. Yell at that client and you’re done,he will take his business and many more that he knows of some where else. Clients just want to know that they are understood, and that you really care and want to solve that problem, even if you can’t. Having said that, you always have to be polite but firm and stick to the facts only. Yelling just makes it personal.
http://www.rochelleveturis.com Rochelle Veturis
Agreed. Nice paragraph of very useful advice. Sending a big hug your way Sarah. I cannot fathom anyone yelling at you … it is unimaginable.
http://www.sundaynightsuccess.com Jeremie
As a teacher I am always amazed at the amount of yelling that happens in some classrooms. Teaching, customer service, business; they are all based on relationships and building relationships. If I don't have a good relationship with my students they won't listen to me, never mind learn what I am sharing with them. I think the same applies to customer service and business. One person yells, and every piece of communication during that interaction, from that point on, is completely pointless. No one is listening.
Without a good relationship there is no communication, just parallel noise that neither person is really listening too.
I use this with my wife all the time now and it has made a big difference to our relationship. As soon as one of us starts yelling, we just end the discussion, to be picked up later when we are both prepared to actually listen.
Sarah, I am glad to hear you have moved forward in this situation and are once again communicating with this person. It sounds like taking a break worked.
busymomsblog
I've been a travel agent for the past 20 years,(I'm not that old -started early:) ). In travel business there are lots of misunderstandings and other issues that makes your client to complain. Yell at that client and you're done,he will take his business and many more that he knows of some where else. Clients just want to know that they are understood, and that you really care and want to solve that problem, even if you can't. Having said that, you always have to be polite but firm and stick to the facts only. Yelling just makes it personal.
Jeff Delaney
You remark about the “…legalistic, CYA world we now seem to reside in” and it strikes a chord. I work in a marketing department of a small company and have noticed, what with the telemarketing scripts and other marketing material how we take as “normal” (and I hate the word, “normal”) what ever untruths are necessary to manipulate our prospects and clients into agreeing to what we want from them. Especially in an economy where unemployment is what it is, it causes ones own character to be compromised. Why is it “necessary” to lie to be “successful?” It’s no wonder that even reasonable people question unanticipated phone calls and requests at trade shows to “sign up for a free…..” I would like to think that a great deal more “success” could be measured by companies who follow The Golden Rule and treat others, be they clients, prospects, or fellow employees with the dignity and respect that they themselves would like to be treated with
Jeff Delaney
You remark about the “…legalistic, CYA world we now seem to reside in” and it strikes a chord. I work in a marketing department of a small company and have noticed, what with the telemarketing scripts and other marketing material how we take as “normal” (and I hate the word, “normal”) what ever untruths are necessary to manipulate our prospects and clients into agreeing to what we want from them. Especially in an economy where unemployment is what it is, it causes ones own character to be compromised. Why is it “necessary” to lie to be “successful?” It's no wonder that even reasonable people question unanticipated phone calls and requests at trade shows to “sign up for a free…..” I would like to think that a great deal more “success” could be measured by companies who follow The Golden Rule and treat others, be they clients, prospects, or fellow employees with the dignity and respect that they themselves would like to be treated with
http://www.austinconcerttickets.net/ Dee @AustinConcert
Sarah..
I have to clarify something..
I actually meant GoDaddy was one of my fav customer service oriented companies. I threw their name out there because I've always had incredibly fantastic experiences with them.
Cheers from Dee!
Tralad
Funny how your takeaways from the experience all seem to be things THEY should do differently instead of focusing on how to change YOUR behavior to generate better results.
Tralad
Funny how your takeaways from the experience all seem to be things THEY should do differently instead of focusing on how to change YOUR behavior to generate better results.
Ahmedhany1
I am sorry but as someone who works at Customer service, It seems that the nice you are the more the customers feel okey about abusing you, and find it easier to complain how we are not fast enough for there sake…
Customers can be very abusive just because they pay money they think they own me, and my dignity, and they always think we are just there to rip them of there money…will guess what I dont actually care if you pay or not cause I am just getting paid at the end of the month, and trust me my head doesnt look that forward into OH maybe ill keep my job by ripping people off….I would just go ahead and put your money in my pocket ok.
Just some certain prejudgment that comes from the customers that just shows you how insensitive and monstrous and just plain out tyrants they can be.
Ahmedhany1
I am sorry but as someone who works at Customer service, It seems that the nice you are the more the customers feel okey about abusing you, and find it easier to complain how we are not fast enough for there sake…
Customers can be very abusive just because they pay money they think they own me, and my dignity, and they always think we are just there to rip them of there money…will guess what I dont actually care if you pay or not cause I am just getting paid at the end of the month, and trust me my head doesnt look that forward into OH maybe ill keep my job by ripping people off….I would just go ahead and put your money in my pocket ok.
Just some certain prejudgment that comes from the customers that just shows you how insensitive and monstrous and just plain out tyrants they can be.
Ahmedhany1
And yes sorry would work, and yes we do alot of mistakes but if you come and think that being offensive to us about that mistake, and being blatantly merciless about it…well excuse us for being human and feeling abit hurt and burned by your gloating, and your abuse…
I honestly feel so bad for customer service, because the way some rude customers get away with there behavior for the sake of business is just revolting, and quiet unhumane.
But at the end of the day I guess we gotta survive and get money….but still….one can only wish…
Some people do appreciate though, and I remember them and pray for them…:) God Bless Customer Services with patience and serenity….Amen!
Ahmedhany1
And yes sorry would work, and yes we do alot of mistakes but if you come and think that being offensive to us about that mistake, and being blatantly merciless about it…well excuse us for being human and feeling abit hurt and burned by your gloating, and your abuse…
I honestly feel so bad for customer service, because the way some rude customers get away with there behavior for the sake of business is just revolting, and quiet unhumane.
But at the end of the day I guess we gotta survive and get money….but still….one can only wish…
Some people do appreciate though, and I remember them and pray for them…:) God Bless Customer Services with patience and serenity….Amen!
Ahmedhany1
Here is the motto most customer servers have
‘Your lack of planning on your part, does not mean an emergency on my part’ even if the price is for the rude customer leave the planet and never come back.
But sadly thats just a fantasy idea…we dont actually apply it.
Ahmedhany1
Here is the motto most customer servers have
‘Your lack of planning on your part, does not mean an emergency on my part’ even if the price is for the rude customer leave the planet and never come back.
But sadly thats just a fantasy idea…we dont actually apply it.

Escaping Mediocrity