Escaping Mediocrity

I couldn't agree with you more. I don't really have an answer either, just a theory. My theory is that people just don't care anymore. Period. We are living in a self serving, narcissistic society where it seems more often then not, people feel that they have the God given right to say whatever they feel like.
It's awful. And so disenchanting. And I think, wow, if my Grandparents were alive today they would just be appalled at how we are all so disrespectful.
But that's just my theory…

YOU LIE! Okay, I'm sorry… I couldn't resist. In all seriousness, I've noticed the same thing over the past few years. It seems we've decided (in business & otherwise) that the more brazen, more crude, and more outrageous you are the more you get (attention & otherwise) out of people. Sadly, in my case – the exact is opposite. Behave like a brute to me and I'll shut you out and move on. I think the key – is that people like you and others who still believe in civility continue to behave professionally. Hopefully, the message will get out.

YOU LIE!

Okay, I'm sorry… I couldn't resist.

In all seriousness, I've noticed the same thing over the past few years. It seems we've decided (in business & otherwise) that the more brazen, more crude, and more outrageous you are the more you get (attention & otherwise) out of people. Sadly, in my case – the exact is opposite. Behave like a brute to me and I'll shut you out and move on. I think the key – is that people like you and others who still believe in civility continue to behave professionally. Hopefully, the message will get out.

I think one of the problems, Sarah, is that we (as a collective group) have made it easy for people to bitch, complain and be rude with very little recompense. We encourage people to rant to the big boys of business, because now we have the tools available to put us in direct contact with them. We encourage mini-celebrity by uploading videos of crazy consumer complaints about busted guitars when the actual consumer was at fault for not checking their property immediately.

The more we encourage, the less we can rein back in. Sometimes I wonder if we even can, anymore.

All these experiences you speak about leave a very bad taste & reflect as certain people acting like spoilt brats! I guess manners, courtesy & kindness to fellow people need to be brought to the table in these instances. Isn't one of the reasons about being in your own business, is that you get to call who you will do business with? Hopefully the bad smell that these experiences leave (& thank goodness for social media cause now they are not hidden) will ensure that those who perpetrated them may think twice next time & those who may fall into a similar ungracious attitude will remember that stuff you do is not hidden anymore. Maybe a new moral code needs to be written up with a foundation of love & respect of fellow human beans? Hmm just more questions….

All these experiences you speak about leave a very bad taste & reflect as certain people acting like spoilt brats! I guess manners, courtesy & kindness to fellow people need to be brought to the table in these instances. Isn't one of the reasons about being in your own business, is that you get to call who you will do business with? Hopefully the bad smell that these experiences leave (& thank goodness for social media cause now they are not hidden) will ensure that those who perpetrated them may think twice next time & those who may fall into a similar ungracious attitude will remember that stuff you do is not hidden anymore. Maybe a new moral code needs to be written up with a foundation of love & respect of fellow human beans? Hmm just more questions….

I agree that all of those things are terrible, and in an age where we are all so interconnected we hear about them, and the cost of doing this stuff is less. It would be much harder to threaten/accuse/troll someone face-to-face, but easy to do online where the risks are much less direct.

But … in the last few weeks/days I have so many astounding examples of genuine acts of paying it forward that it has renewed my faith in humanity. I've made close friends in the matter of hours with people on twitter, had people across the country offer to help me, people I hardly know offer gratitude for something that took me no time, etc.

The thing is, the truth will always out about someone's intentions … and no one can hide their truth in thousands of tweets/posts/videos … especially when *everyone* is watching.

Not only is it easier to weed out the murk jobs, it is much easier to find the genuine good-hearted souls.

Sarah,A long time ago my Grandmother said (and I teach this to leaders and employees in my courses) “Never put in writing anything you don't want to repeat in court.” It goes along with something we teach our children borrowed from Thumper “If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.” Somewhere along the way we have confused “I don't have to pretend for the Jone's any more” with “I can be as rude and thoughtless as I like, I am just being me.” Not sure when or where it changed, but there are a million old sayings that try to teach us otherwise, the truth is clear – it is about respect for others, not sacrificing who you are when you choose to be polite and considerate.Conflict is fine, so long as it is managed respectfully – it challenges the status quo and provides creativity and innovation.Having your opinion is fine, so long as the opinion is shared respectfully.Disagreeing on a subject is okay – so long as the conversation is respectfully delivered.I keep touch with a great many folks – such as you – who do understand respect and consideration. Folks who remember to ask questions first in order to understand the other person better, these are people who build strong relationships and identify with collaboration and mentorship. People who are not on the attack, but are open to suggestion and new thought. The others, I simply choose not to associate with. Enough of us do that and disrespect will live in its own quarters. Is the world mad? Perhaps, but pockets of it are filled with truly amazing people such as yourself!

Sarah,

A long time ago my Grandmother said (and I teach this to leaders and employees in my courses) “Never put in writing anything you don't want to repeat in court.” It goes along with something we teach our children borrowed from Thumper “If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.” Somewhere along the way we have confused “I don't have to pretend for the Jone's any more” with “I can be as rude and thoughtless as I like, I am just being me.”

Not sure when or where it changed, but there are a million old sayings that try to teach us otherwise, the truth is clear – it is about respect for others, not sacrificing who you are when you choose to be polite and considerate.

Conflict is fine, so long as it is managed respectfully – it challenges the status quo and provides creativity and innovation.
Having your opinion is fine, so long as the opinion is shared respectfully.
Disagreeing on a subject is okay – so long as the conversation is respectfully delivered.

I keep touch with a great many folks – such as you – who do understand respect and consideration. Folks who remember to ask questions first in order to understand the other person better, these are people who build strong relationships and identify with collaboration and mentorship. People who are not on the attack, but are open to suggestion and new thought. The others, I simply choose not to associate with. Enough of us do that and disrespect will live in its own quarters. Is the world mad? Perhaps, but pockets of it are filled with truly amazing people such as yourself!

Totally agree. Everyone is “appalled” by this behaviour, yet we reward it by paying attention to it.. coincidentally I blogged about it as well.. and yes I see the irony about blogging about someone that you don't want people to pay attention to! LOL. Great post Sarah!

In politics, I don't think there is any “dignity” to uphold. Anything that might be perceived as dignity there is a thin veneer covering up a load of filth.In business, on the other hand, behave badly enough times and one day you wake up bankrupt.So I don't think you can compare those two worlds. In politics why should I care if they seem to be civil or not, I know they're all out to sell me down the river anyway, those uppity servants. The president is not exempt. In business, it's a problem that solves itself.

In politics, I don't think there is any “dignity” to uphold. Anything that might be perceived as dignity there is a thin veneer covering up a load of filth.
In business, on the other hand, behave badly enough times and one day you wake up bankrupt.
So I don't think you can compare those two worlds. In politics why should I care if they seem to be civil or not, I know they're all out to sell me down the river anyway, those uppity servants. The president is not exempt. In business, it's a problem that solves itself.

I think this type of thing is cyclical. Just look to Shakespeare for examples. In regards to today, I have noticed a similar trend. I am wondering if it has to do with the recession. People express more of themselves during these kinds of times, whether it be goodness or badness. In my own life, I have noticed that people driving cars are completely erratic and thoughtless and I am old enough to remember that this kind of behavior on the road was not normal or common twenty years ago. For example, in the last week, I have noted three incidents of cars passing me from behind to run the red light I was stopped at. In one case, there was a school bus in front of me that was picking up children. The car behind me raced out and passed me, then the school bus, then ran the red light. This was at 7 AM in a residential neighborhood. At the next light, the guy was in the car right next to us. My son, who is twelve and who was with me in the car said, “I can't believe that guy just did that.” I see this type of thing so often I am thinking of mounting a webcam on my car (my son's idea). Whatever it is, it's not worth killing someone for.

I have mixed feelings about this. I agree that, sure, those things aren't the best examples of the way humans can conduct themselves. But, even more so, I done think it represents a somehow changed world or a devolution of humanity. History is soaked in acts of kindness and hostility. I think we need to recognize that about then and about now. The idea that it was ever better “back then” never tells the whole picture. It reminds me of when a guest on the Daily Show mentioned something about how we are living in the most immoral times in history, making a reference to rap music. Jon Stewart responded, “Do you really think that's true? That rap music is more immoral than, say, slavery?”Oh how easy it is to forget that *every* moment is filled with all the good and the bad the world has to offer and that, maybe, both are ok.Despite the 'bad' in 'PR Gone Bad' there was a real person behind those emails that didn't seem to have any real ill-intent against Jonathan or humanity in general. His replies were really quite honest and depicted the realities of the world that he lived and worked in. So, I was glad that 'bad' happened, it became insightful and 'good' to me. I guess what I am ultimately getting at is that the world is abundant in both good and bad and it is up to each of us as individuals to decide which is which based on the perspective we view it from. -Nicky

I have mixed feelings about this. I agree that, sure, those things aren't the best examples of the way humans can conduct themselves. But, even more so, I done think it represents a somehow changed world or a devolution of humanity.

History is soaked in acts of kindness and hostility. I think we need to recognize that about then and about now. The idea that it was ever better “back then” never tells the whole picture. It reminds me of when a guest on the Daily Show mentioned something about how we are living in the most immoral times in history, making a reference to rap music.

Jon Stewart responded, “Do you really think that's true? That rap music is more immoral than, say, slavery?”

Oh how easy it is to forget that *every* moment is filled with all the good and the bad the world has to offer and that, maybe, both are ok.

Despite the 'bad' in 'PR Gone Bad' there was a real person behind those emails that didn't seem to have any real ill-intent against Jonathan or humanity in general. His replies were really quite honest and depicted the realities of the world that he lived and worked in. So, I was glad that 'bad' happened, it became insightful and 'good' to me.

I guess what I am ultimately getting at is that the world is abundant in both good and bad and it is up to each of us as individuals to decide which is which based on the perspective we view it from.

-Nicky

I like your theory Amy. And I am going to continue to ponder it. This conversation is going to get interesting, so I hope you will check in again to test your theory.

You crack me up. And think you are right. The spotlight goes to whoever can behave the most outrageously and we reward it with 15 minutes of fame – or more. I'm with you. I'm going to hang out with those who can behave with some sense of decorum (which, as you know, does not mean dull or no fun!), and let the others pass me by. I am simply not interested in that kind of attention or fame.

You crack me up. And think you are right. The spotlight goes to whoever can behave the most outrageously and we reward it with 15 minutes of fame – or more. I'm with you. I'm going to hang out with those who can behave with some sense of decorum (which, as you know, does not mean dull or no fun!), and let the others pass me by. I am simply not interested in that kind of attention or fame.

Because you are one of the most civilized people I know, Danny Brown, your opinion on this matters a great deal to me. It's a double edged sword, isn't it? We have the tool and the access to keep Big Business from running amuck but I don't know if we are truly wise enough to wield that power with good judgment. Like little kids, perhaps, without anyone around to set boundaries and teach us how to use our own strength. And if you are concerned, I am worried.

And I love the questions you are posing! I think that this kind of dialog is really the only way to a) call attention to the problem and b) find some stopgaps for keeping it from ruining everything for everyone. Let's keep pondering, shall we?

And I love the questions you are posing! I think that this kind of dialog is really the only way to a) call attention to the problem and b) find some stopgaps for keeping it from ruining everything for everyone. Let's keep pondering, shall we?

And see? This is why I adore having you as my dear friend. you keep me from going over the edge and totally losing my faith in humanity. And you remind me that I, too, have been the recipient of some of the most astonishing kindness from total strangers via twitter. And that some of the peopl I count on the most are those who are here, every single day. My heart feels much bigger and less stressed. Than you my friend.

I couldn’t agree with you more. I don’t really have an answer either, just a theory. My theory is that people just don’t care anymore. Period. We are living in a self serving, narcissistic society where it seems more often then not, people feel that they have the God given right to say whatever they feel like.
It’s awful. And so disenchanting. And I think, wow, if my Grandparents were alive today they would just be appalled at how we are all so disrespectful.
But that’s just my theory…

Such wise words Patti. And they remind me of some my grandmother shared with me when I was acting all uppity about impressing others with my good manners. She said, “You think that's what manners are for? Impressing other people? Honey, manners exists so that human beings can stand being in each others presence.”

And I do think you are right. Somehow we've confused being honest and fully self-expressed with being rude and disrespectful. Like the person I know who opens a sentence with, “I want to be honest here” as a preface to saying something incredibly mean.

I am so glad that there are the pockets in our world filled with those who are easy and simple and kind. It makes everything else worthwhile.

YOU LIE!

Okay, I’m sorry… I couldn’t resist.

In all seriousness, I’ve noticed the same thing over the past few years. It seems we’ve decided (in business & otherwise) that the more brazen, more crude, and more outrageous you are the more you get (attention & otherwise) out of people. Sadly, in my case – the exact is opposite. Behave like a brute to me and I’ll shut you out and move on. I think the key – is that people like you and others who still believe in civility continue to behave professionally. Hopefully, the message will get out.

As always, your wit is right on target Beth! I know – how to talk about a problem without feeding the flames of it, right?! I think that humor and a sense of fun about ourselves is one of the very best things we can bring to the table. I mean, would these people act badly if they didn't take themselves so damned seriously?! You remind me every day how important it is to lighten up and play. And for that, I am so grateful.

As always, your wit is right on target Beth! I know – how to talk about a problem without feeding the flames of it, right?! I think that humor and a sense of fun about ourselves is one of the very best things we can bring to the table. I mean, would these people act badly if they didn't take themselves so damned seriously?! You remind me every day how important it is to lighten up and play. And for that, I am so grateful.

I hope you are right Susan and that we are the far end of a pendulum swing that is getting ready to head in the other direction. Sadly, I think there will always be people who, like the driver in your story, believe that the rules do not apply to them. I think your webcam is a great idea for keeping their numbers to a minimum.

I hope you are right Susan and that we are the far end of a pendulum swing that is getting ready to head in the other direction. Sadly, I think there will always be people who, like the driver in your story, believe that the rules do not apply to them. I think your webcam is a great idea for keeping their numbers to a minimum.

Sarah, I totally agree, there is a lack of comon courtesy and repsect that seems to be pervading our daily life. Ego driven responses and behaviours are more mainstream then ever before, as we all now seem to be voyers in each others lifes. Its important to remember that we are people…not characters in some social media play. Our level of connectedness does not give others the right to ride roughshod over our feelings, unfortunately we do not have control over the actions of others, only ourselves.

Sarah,

A long time ago my Grandmother said (and I teach this to leaders and employees in my courses) “Never put in writing anything you don’t want to repeat in court.” It goes along with something we teach our children borrowed from Thumper “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” Somewhere along the way we have confused “I don’t have to pretend for the Jone’s any more” with “I can be as rude and thoughtless as I like, I am just being me.”

Not sure when or where it changed, but there are a million old sayings that try to teach us otherwise, the truth is clear – it is about respect for others, not sacrificing who you are when you choose to be polite and considerate.

Conflict is fine, so long as it is managed respectfully – it challenges the status quo and provides creativity and innovation.
Having your opinion is fine, so long as the opinion is shared respectfully.
Disagreeing on a subject is okay – so long as the conversation is respectfully delivered.

I keep touch with a great many folks – such as you – who do understand respect and consideration. Folks who remember to ask questions first in order to understand the other person better, these are people who build strong relationships and identify with collaboration and mentorship. People who are not on the attack, but are open to suggestion and new thought. The others, I simply choose not to associate with. Enough of us do that and disrespect will live in its own quarters. Is the world mad? Perhaps, but pockets of it are filled with truly amazing people such as yourself!

I think I would like, the non cynic in me, would like nothing more than to have my theory not only proved not valid..but completely wrong.This is the sad truth, that on a day in and day out basis I still get shocked, saddened and disgusted by peoples behavior. Some that surround me shake their head as this continuously breaks my heart. Truth be told, I would rather still, like you be saddened by watching people and their behavior, then to become jaded and not even notice. Or worse, behave like them!

I think I would like, the non cynic in me, would like nothing more than to have my theory not only proved not valid..but completely wrong.
This is the sad truth, that on a day in and day out basis I still get shocked, saddened and disgusted by peoples behavior. Some that surround me shake their head as this continuously breaks my heart. Truth be told, I would rather still, like you be saddened by watching people and their behavior, then to become jaded and not even notice. Or worse, behave like them!

Hi Steve,

The news story that came out with the attached interview regarding the United piece stated that Dave didn't check the guitar until home. His susbsequent videos then show him milking it for all he's worth – hardly someone just trying to improve customer service at an airline. Dave could have stopped the vilification to start with by stating that it's United's policies he was having a go at. If you're going to make such a public and damning statement about service (whether you're in the right or not), you need to make sure that it's the right people/service you're going after.

Perhaps the reason that the follow-up video got less exposure was because the negativity against Dave's milking was beginning to appear. People like to get behind a hard luck story, but when that hard luck story begins to “abuse” the attention, loyalties soon waver.

Hi Steve,Thanks, although the interview with Dave and subsequent news piece that came out has Dave stating he didn't check the guitar until he got to the hotel the band were staying at – the next morning. This was even mentioned in his own blog:http://www.davecarrollmusic.com/story/united-br…A popular view is that Dave milked the situation for all he could, which led to negativity starting about him. Rightly or wrongly, this could be why the second video (the praise one) didn't get the same attention. Additionally, he could have averted all the negativity to the United staff bu either singling out the “culprits”, or better still, just attack the policies in place.If you're going public with the brand attack that Dave did with his song, then you need to make sure you get the targets right.

Hi Steve,

Thanks, although the interview with Dave and subsequent news piece that came out has Dave stating he didn't check the guitar until he got to the hotel the band were staying at – the next morning. This was even mentioned in his own blog:

http://www.davecarrollmusic.com/story/united-br…

A popular view is that Dave milked the situation for all he could, which led to negativity starting about him. Rightly or wrongly, this could be why the second video (the praise one) didn't get the same attention. Additionally, he could have averted all the negativity to the United staff bu either singling out the “culprits”, or better still, just attack the policies in place.

If you're going public with the brand attack that Dave did with his song, then you need to make sure you get the targets right.

Great thought Nicky. I hope I did nopt imply that I am passing a sweeping judgment on humanity based on the bad behavior I'm observing. If I did I need to backtrack. The thing that alarms me is that it seems more commonplace and more outrageous in the business world than I ever remember it being. I know that other terrible terrible things have happened in the past. But for the most part people at the business table conducted themselves with some semblance of dignity and good manners.

And you also bring up a very good point – there are the facts and then there is the story we tell ourselves about the facts. The story is up to us.

I am loving this discussion!

I read something today about some people want to use the connectedness of social media to advance relationships and some want to use it to advance themselves. Those who fall into the later group will always be ego driven and see others as simply a means to an end. How we respond – or don't respond – to them I think is what will determine how much power they ultimately have. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

I read something today about some people want to use the connectedness of social media to advance relationships and some want to use it to advance themselves. Those who fall into the later group will always be ego driven and see others as simply a means to an end. How we respond – or don't respond – to them I think is what will determine how much power they ultimately have. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

I, for one, am glad we are troubled and not jaded. I find great comfort in that fact.

Thanks, I just got the chance to do some follow up and you are correct again. I can see why Sarah values your opinion. Maybe this really shows there are positives and negatives to everything. Both Dave and United received a lot of free publicity. Both got the chance to repeatedly express their views and reasoning. Both demonstrated good and bad aspects & judgment. Maybe the lesson here is that the world is an increasingly transparent place and once a view has been expressed it's harder than ever to retract. Finally, like Dave and United, I see there is always better ways to handle any situation. Still, all of us did our best to remain polite. I believe Sarah was more focused on all the people who forget, to quote Robert Heinlein, “Manners are the grease for society's wheels. Without them, anarchy erupts and civilization starts it's decline.”I'm paraphrasing there because I do not have a photographic memory but I'm sure the sentiment is spot on.

Thanks, I just got the chance to do some follow up and you are correct again. I can see why Sarah values your opinion. Maybe this really shows there are positives and negatives to everything. Both Dave and United received a lot of free publicity. Both got the chance to repeatedly express their views and reasoning. Both demonstrated good and bad aspects & judgment. Maybe the lesson here is that the world is an increasingly transparent place and once a view has been expressed it's harder than ever to retract. Finally, like Dave and United, I see there is always better ways to handle any situation. Still, all of us did our best to remain polite. I believe Sarah was more focused on all the people who forget, to quote Robert Heinlein, “Manners are the grease for society's wheels. Without them, anarchy erupts and civilization starts it's decline.”
I'm paraphrasing there because I do not have a photographic memory but I'm sure the sentiment is spot on.

One of the reasons I enjoy checking in with you is the range of issues you focus on in your blog…and how often they relate so closely with other aspects of my thinking…I was having a closely related conversation today with a colleague…he was talking about needing to set up groundrules at the start of training and I was firmly advocating that they shouldn't be necessary. My reason for this controvertial (as he saw it) stance is that ground rules just reiterate what for me should be an obvious framework for civilised behaviour…it seems bizarre to me that people should need to be reminded to be respectful of each other, to listen and to speak openly and honestly without prejudice or judgement….surely this is common courtesy…and I'm always saddened when I find that it's not…

However on a positive note I am a firm believer in the ability of individuals to change their outlook and realise their potential – something that is made infinitely harder to do when they are locked in a negative view of the world and the people around them which they then used to justify rude and ignorant behaviour. To that end I continue to strive to lead by example and align myself with others that are trying to do the same…not always easy…but infinitely rewarding when you get evidence that it has made a difference however small…it's this that stops me getting jaded when face with the kind of ignorance and lack of courtesy that bewilders me…

Danny and Steve – I LOVED watching your conversation play out. It is exactly the kind of of polite debate and discourse I crave. You each had a view point and expressed it without making the other person feel bad or small. You are among those who continue to make me believe that we can have business discussions that do not disintegrate into anarchy. Thank you both.

Danny and Steve – I LOVED watching your conversation play out. It is exactly the kind of of polite debate and discourse I crave. You each had a view point and expressed it without making the other person feel bad or small. You are among those who continue to make me believe that we can have business discussions that do not disintegrate into anarchy. Thank you both.

I agree. This was an excellent example of there being a disagreement, but both parties behaving in a civil way to come to a conclusion. Enjoyed reading the back and forth here.

Thanks Sarah, although you should see me after a couple hard shots of the finest single malt…

Thanks Sarah, although you should see me after a couple hard shots of the finest single malt…

Hi again Steve,

First, sorry for the double comment – when I posted original I received a 500 error message, so thought I better drop the second one just in case

I agree, fella, there are always two sides. My grandma used to say there were three – your version, their version and the truth. There's obviously been some good and bad with both United and Dave Carroll, but if improvements take place because of it then (hopefully) everybody wins.

Perhaps the folks that Sarah referenced in the post just need a crash course in better memory, as opposed to manners? Couldn't hurt…

Thanks Sarah (and Andrew). I agree, chatting with Steve and sharing views was very enjoyable as it was such a civil back and forth. It kind of reinforces my belief that a lot can come down to where the discussion is taking place. Get a friendly community like you have here, and the comments will reflect. Get something like Techcrunch or Mashable… well…. enough said

Thanks Sarah (and Andrew). I agree, chatting with Steve and sharing views was very enjoyable as it was such a civil back and forth. It kind of reinforces my belief that a lot can come down to where the discussion is taking place. Get a friendly community like you have here, and the comments will reflect. Get something like Techcrunch or Mashable… well…. enough said

I don't know if society is getting more crazy or we are getting older and it just bothers us more. This goes into the reality shows that are rampant in our world right now. I always see clips from those shows (The Soup is the best for catching up without having to watch the crap) or hear about things and think, “Doesn't your mom/dad watch this?” I cannot imagine being on the Bachelorette, letting them film me practically having sex in a pool, and being proud to show my parents. M-O-R-T-I-F-Y-I-N-G! You can say the same for Kanye, for that Hugh Hefner/Playboy Bunny show/stick any reality TV show in here.I agree with Amy. Our world is full of narcissists and we suddenly, through social media, all have a voice. There are attractors and detractors for all of us now. We're all celebrities, in our own minds. And it's feeding our egos and making us step WAY out of line! It used to be the jerks were anonymous – the guy who cut you off on the freeway, the woman who took your parking spot. Now we're all jerks and no one is stopping us. Except you, Sarah!

I don't know if society is getting more crazy or we are getting older and it just bothers us more. This goes into the reality shows that are rampant in our world right now. I always see clips from those shows (The Soup is the best for catching up without having to watch the crap) or hear about things and think, “Doesn't your mom/dad watch this?” I cannot imagine being on the Bachelorette, letting them film me practically having sex in a pool, and being proud to show my parents. M-O-R-T-I-F-Y-I-N-G! You can say the same for Kanye, for that Hugh Hefner/Playboy Bunny show/stick any reality TV show in here.

I agree with Amy. Our world is full of narcissists and we suddenly, through social media, all have a voice. There are attractors and detractors for all of us now. We're all celebrities, in our own minds. And it's feeding our egos and making us step WAY out of line! It used to be the jerks were anonymous – the guy who cut you off on the freeway, the woman who took your parking spot. Now we're all jerks and no one is stopping us.

Except you, Sarah!

1st!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, sorry, this isn't Mashable…

I don’t know if society is getting more crazy or we are getting older and it just bothers us more. This goes into the reality shows that are rampant in our world right now. I always see clips from those shows (The Soup is the best for catching up without having to watch the crap) or hear about things and think, “Doesn’t your mom/dad watch this?” I cannot imagine being on the Bachelorette, letting them film me practically having sex in a pool, and being proud to show my parents. M-O-R-T-I-F-Y-I-N-G! You can say the same for Kanye, for that Hugh Hefner/Playboy Bunny show/stick any reality TV show in here.

I agree with Amy. Our world is full of narcissists and we suddenly, through social media, all have a voice. There are attractors and detractors for all of us now. We’re all celebrities, in our own minds. And it’s feeding our egos and making us step WAY out of line! It used to be the jerks were anonymous – the guy who cut you off on the freeway, the woman who took your parking spot. Now we’re all jerks and no one is stopping us.

Except you, Sarah!

Interesting question Sarah. I didn't see the video awards and have had no interest in giving it any more play time now. Though, by the enthusiastic play by play I got from an owner of a boutique last week, I'm guessing it may just live up to the hype. I couldn't even click over to listen to the voicemail you talked about here because it made me sick to even think about it and my day is going pretty great right now:)

How I usually respond to this question, which oddly enough I feel like I get a lot, is either with this comment: People are friggin crazy or with this question taken from Seinfeld “What's the matter with people?” That about sums it up. I've been studying why people do what they do for nearly 2 decades and while I could share a a million theories the bottom line is we just never know what's going on for people. The world is noisy and crazy and you will mirror that if you don't have a filter. With instant access and way to much exposure in our lives to everything we just see more of it than we did say 20 years ago. Now it is just up to us to filter out the people and behaviors we don't want to hang with. Some people are totally narcissistic and crazy and trying to figure them out won't change anything.

Your question was “Is this what we've devolved to?” I don't think so. I am amazed and inspired every day by people who flippin rock at the game of life and that's the “we” I care to think about.

Thanks again for putting out a question worth thinking about.

Melani

Interesting question Sarah. I didn’t see the video awards and have had no interest in giving it any more play time now. Though, by the enthusiastic play by play I got from an owner of a boutique last week, I’m guessing it may just live up to the hype. I couldn’t even click over to listen to the voicemail you talked about here because it made me sick to even think about it and my day is going pretty great right now:)

How I usually respond to this question, which oddly enough I feel like I get a lot, is either with this comment: People are friggin crazy or with this question taken from Seinfeld “What’s the matter with people?” That about sums it up. I’ve been studying why people do what they do for nearly 2 decades and while I could share a a million theories the bottom line is we just never know what’s going on for people. The world is noisy and crazy and you will mirror that if you don’t have a filter. With instant access and way to much exposure in our lives to everything we just see more of it than we did say 20 years ago. Now it is just up to us to filter out the people and behaviors we don’t want to hang with. Some people are totally narcissistic and crazy and trying to figure them out won’t change anything.

Your question was “Is this what we’ve devolved to?” I don’t think so. I am amazed and inspired every day by people who flippin rock at the game of life and that’s the “we” I care to think about.

Thanks again for putting out a question worth thinking about.

Melani

Sarah I am late at reading this post. I have to agree with you. I posted a question on twitter regarding these behaviors and I was shocked at the rude response of someone (with 30K+ followers) dismissing my concern over the example those behaviors set for children with the comment: “if you were a rockstar or an athlete competing at that level you'd understand” – and I thought: what? – understand? It is a mad world indeed.
I have to say, however, that for my 9-10 year old – it has been a great learning experience – using these examples for teachable moments and letting her see for herself what it looks like when played on such a stage.
Monica

I used It's a Mad Mad World in a video trailer I made for a show wwe did on homelessness and the Gulf hurricane (s) aftermath. The raw truth in song moves me. I'd like to share it with you even though (my video) is off topic. Hope you don't mind. I'm enjoying reading your blog. I am always on the look out for authentic people to follow. When working from home and on the internet the blogs and updates you read are almost like your office mates, aren't they? Peace.LaurieOh! The video is here: http://www.lauriezieber.com/Cinema.html it is #6.

I used It's a Mad Mad World in a video trailer I made for a show wwe did on homelessness and the Gulf hurricane (s) aftermath. The raw truth in song moves me. I'd like to share it with you even though (my video) is off topic. Hope you don't mind. I'm enjoying reading your blog. I am always on the look out for authentic people to follow. When working from home and on the internet the blogs and updates you read are almost like your office mates, aren't they?

Peace.
Laurie

Oh! The video is here: http://www.lauriezieber.com/Cinema.html it is #6.

Hi Sarah,

Once again, you've started a fascinating and thought-provoking discussion. I think part of the issue here has to do with perception, of what events we notice and make us stand up out of our collective chairs, and which ones we notice but react less to because of our expectations in terms of social interaction. While I'd agree that those who behave in such boorish fashion clearly do not care about others – or anything beyond the tip of their nose – I think the amount of publicity, attention, and discussion surrounding these issues indicates that the collective whole still cares enough to take issue with such conduct.

A very meaty topic, Sarah. Thanks for bringing it up and spurring on such a delightful discussion.

Sarah I am late at reading this post. I have to agree with you. I posted a question on twitter regarding these behaviors and I was shocked at the rude response of someone (with 30K+ followers) dismissing my concern over the example those behaviors set for children with the comment: “if you were a rockstar or an athlete competing at that level you’d understand” – and I thought: what? – understand? It is a mad world indeed.
I have to say, however, that for my 9-10 year old – it has been a great learning experience – using these examples for teachable moments and letting her see for herself what it looks like when played on such a stage.
Monica

Hi Sarah,

Once again, you’ve started a fascinating and thought-provoking discussion. I think part of the issue here has to do with perception, of what events we notice and make us stand up out of our collective chairs, and which ones we notice but react less to because of our expectations in terms of social interaction. While I’d agree that those who behave in such boorish fashion clearly do not care about others – or anything beyond the tip of their nose – I think the amount of publicity, attention, and discussion surrounding these issues indicates that the collective whole still cares enough to take issue with such conduct.

A very meaty topic, Sarah. Thanks for bringing it up and spurring on such a delightful discussion.

Sarah, what do you make of It's A Beautiful World, my friend? Things beautiful gone down the drain? Or, okay, days might have been beautiful back in the days when Mozart composed his master pieces, Matisse painted us to tears, Gandhi freed India, Shakespeare invented language, caterpillars became butterflys, acorns oak trees. But – there's always a but – now is different. The question of delusional trance – how is it beautiful with all this ugliness around us? I don't know. What I do know: if I wait for the world to change, I'll be waiting for a looooong time

Sarah, what do you make of It’s A Beautiful World, my friend? Things beautiful gone down the drain? Or, okay, days might have been beautiful back in the days when Mozart composed his master pieces, Matisse painted us to tears, Gandhi freed India, Shakespeare invented language, caterpillars became butterflys, acorns oak trees. But – there’s always a but – now is different. The question of delusional trance – how is it beautiful with all this ugliness around us? I don’t know. What I do know: if I wait for the world to change, I’ll be waiting for a looooong time

Sarah,

It is a mad, mad world. It always has been. I suppose it always shall. Amidst the madness lies a warm cozy blanket of love. Within the blanket's warmth a glow permeates the surrounding darkness. That gentle light represents all that is good in this world. What we learn is the darkness has no defense against it. It must submit. A Tibetan proverb holds, “Goodness speaks in a whisper, evil shouts.” Madness is like that. It shouts, seeking solace in the company of misery. Because it shouts, it draws our attention, if only for a moment, away from all of the good in our world. To do otherwise is to lose its own life to the glowing goodness that is sure to conquer.

Plato also spoke to the whisper of good, pointing out “the essential Form of Good is the limit of our inquiries, and can barely be perceived; but, when perceived, we cannot help concluding that it is in every case the source of all that is bright and beautiful—in the visible world giving birth to light and its master, and in the intellectual world dispensing, immediately and with full authority, truth and reason—and that whosoever would act wisely, either in private or in public, must set this Form of Good before his eyes.”

Good is everywhere; it has no need to draw attention to itself. We come to realize this soon enough. Why? Because, as Saul Bellow reminds us, “Goodness is achieved … in the company of other men, attended by love.” You see, Sarah, from where I stand, love is the answer. Okay, Oliver Wendell Holmes puts it this way: “Love is the master key that opens the gate of happiness.” I personally like what Martin Luther King, Jr, has to say about the matter: “Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy (aka, madness) into a friend.”

Willa Cather posits, “Where there is great love, there are always miracles.” Can madness hold a light to that? “Who so loves,” we learn from Elizabeth Barrett Browning, “believes the impossible.” Lest I get too carried away, let us consider the wise words of Nietzsche: “There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.” Yet, Thomas Mann teaches, “It is love, not reason that is stronger than death.”

A great friend to many, Rabbi Noah Weinberg, died earlier this year. His spirit, of course, lives on in the many who loved him. One of his many memorable teachings finds relevance here. Rabbi Weinberg tells us, “There are things worth dying for, and if you don’t understand what you are willing to die for, you haven’t begun living.”

We live, Sarah, not because madness wreaks havoc in the world, but because love subdues the madness and unites us as one. We learn this lesson in Dumas’ Three Musketeers. As King Louis appoints D’Artagnan to the Musketeers, he proclaims, “This world is an uncertain realm, filled with danger. Honor undermined by the pursuit of power, freedom sacrificed when the weak are oppressed by the strong. But there are those who oppose these powerful forces, who dedicate their lives to truth, honor, and freedom.”

As you see, Sarah, madness has been with us since before time. So, too, has love. In the end, love wins. Because in the end, we are bigger than the madness and we can see it for what it is. And we can forgive its trespass. “Forgiveness,” as Reinhold Niebuhr so eloquently puts it, “is the final form of love.”

Your Hooligans understand this, Sarah, and that’s why they stand with you. Not to ward off the madness, but to shower you with love.

Thank you for another awesome, thought-provoking post!

Sarah,

It is a mad, mad world. It always has been. I suppose it always shall. Amidst the madness lies a warm cozy blanket of love. Within the blanket’s warmth a glow permeates the surrounding darkness. That gentle light represents all that is good in this world. What we learn is the darkness has no defense against it. It must submit. A Tibetan proverb holds, “Goodness speaks in a whisper, evil shouts.” Madness is like that. It shouts, seeking solace in the company of misery. Because it shouts, it draws our attention, if only for a moment, away from all of the good in our world. To do otherwise is to lose its own life to the glowing goodness that is sure to conquer.

Plato also spoke to the whisper of good, pointing out “the essential Form of Good is the limit of our inquiries, and can barely be perceived; but, when perceived, we cannot help concluding that it is in every case the source of all that is bright and beautiful—in the visible world giving birth to light and its master, and in the intellectual world dispensing, immediately and with full authority, truth and reason—and that whosoever would act wisely, either in private or in public, must set this Form of Good before his eyes.”

Good is everywhere; it has no need to draw attention to itself. We come to realize this soon enough. Why? Because, as Saul Bellow reminds us, “Goodness is achieved … in the company of other men, attended by love.” You see, Sarah, from where I stand, love is the answer. Okay, Oliver Wendell Holmes puts it this way: “Love is the master key that opens the gate of happiness.” I personally like what Martin Luther King, Jr, has to say about the matter: “Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy (aka, madness) into a friend.”

Willa Cather posits, “Where there is great love, there are always miracles.” Can madness hold a light to that? “Who so loves,” we learn from Elizabeth Barrett Browning, “believes the impossible.” Lest I get too carried away, let us consider the wise words of Nietzsche: “There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.” Yet, Thomas Mann teaches, “It is love, not reason that is stronger than death.”

A great friend to many, Rabbi Noah Weinberg, died earlier this year. His spirit, of course, lives on in the many who loved him. One of his many memorable teachings finds relevance here. Rabbi Weinberg tells us, “There are things worth dying for, and if you don’t understand what you are willing to die for, you haven’t begun living.”

We live, Sarah, not because madness wreaks havoc in the world, but because love subdues the madness and unites us as one. We learn this lesson in Dumas’ Three Musketeers. As King Louis appoints D’Artagnan to the Musketeers, he proclaims, “This world is an uncertain realm, filled with danger. Honor undermined by the pursuit of power, freedom sacrificed when the weak are oppressed by the strong. But there are those who oppose these powerful forces, who dedicate their lives to truth, honor, and freedom.”

As you see, Sarah, madness has been with us since before time. So, too, has love. In the end, love wins. Because in the end, we are bigger than the madness and we can see it for what it is. And we can forgive its trespass. “Forgiveness,” as Reinhold Niebuhr so eloquently puts it, “is the final form of love.”

Your Hooligans understand this, Sarah, and that’s why they stand with you. Not to ward off the madness, but to shower you with love.

Thank you for another awesome, thought-provoking post!

There are no answers for rudeness. Hearing the senator from SC call out on national TV was embarrassing. I hate to think that kids see this as possible “grown up” behavior. I was just beginning to feel OK about being an American (when I went to Europe friends and family used to ask me about Bush, and I couldn't answer). I'm afraid that society and old fashioned manners are suffering from stress, the pace of technology and a disconnect from our environment (playing outdoors, walking the dog, dad's building go-carts …). I just watched the first episode of Ken Burns' National Park series and I hope people will be as affected by it as I was. I'm self employed, and an artist and I have a giant Old English Sheepdog so I spend a lot of time coming up with questions. I'm afraid I have few good answers.

There are no answers for rudeness. Hearing the senator from SC call out on national TV was embarrassing. I hate to think that kids see this as possible “grown up” behavior. I was just beginning to feel OK about being an American (when I went to Europe friends and family used to ask me about Bush, and I couldn’t answer). I’m afraid that society and old fashioned manners are suffering from stress, the pace of technology and a disconnect from our environment (playing outdoors, walking the dog, dad’s building go-carts …). I just watched the first episode of Ken Burns’ National Park series and I hope people will be as affected by it as I was. I’m self employed, and an artist and I have a giant Old English Sheepdog so I spend a lot of time coming up with questions. I’m afraid I have few good answers.

It is a very nice and good post. Keep up the good work.

It is a very nice and good post. Keep up the good work.