Escaping Mediocrity

Earlier today, I posted this question on Twitter and Facebook:

What initially attracts you to a community – online or off? What keeps you there? 

I asked it because I’m hearing a TON of buzz around “building a community around your business” but I’m not sure those who are buzzing have a clue what it is people are actually looking for.

So, I’ve pulled together some of the responses below to begin a conversation about how to build a community from the inside out. That is, building what it is people really want.

 

I used to think that if I worked hard enough and excavated enough, I would arrive at a final destination. A place where I would always know what I was doing and always know what I was interested in learning about and talking about – both in business and in life.

Oh the foolishness of such thoughts.

Now that I am (much) older and (not-so-much) wiser, I finally understand that I will never arrive at such a place. Well, unless I’m dead I suppose.

I will always be shifting and changing. Responding to the environment and the community that is around me. I will be impacted by what I see and what I read. My experiences will always be re-shaping me into someone different. Like a stream constantly shifts and changes a rock.

That’s not to say I don’t have anchor points. Those places, those values, those vital parts of me that I know I can count on. Without them, I would just be a pinball in a pinball machine, dependent on bumpers and flippers to determine which way I should go.

I’m actually very glad that I will never arrive. Knowing and accepting that is both comforting and relaxing. Instead of saying “Are we there yet? Are we there yet?”, I can sit back and enjoy the view. I can notice the details that are flashing past me. I can take in the moments that are fleeting at best.

Thank God.

I didn’t intend to watch so much coverage of the anniversary of 9/11. But once I started, I simply could not stop.  I was horror stricken and moved beyond measure over and over again.  When the day was over I was left in much the same place I was left ten years ago: emotionally spent yet incredibly inspired by acts of undaunted courage.

Because of all that I saw yesterday, rumblings and shifts began making themselves known inside of me. I don’t know exactly what they mean or where they are taking me. I do know they are quite large and will ask much of me.

For now, I must focus on my live event which is happening in two and half weeks and I must focus on my clients, whose work inspires me more than I can say.

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that while I am focusing on where I am most needed at the moment, the place I am most needed in the future will reveal itself.

And I will keep you posted.

As part of the lead up to my live event at the end of September, I’m hosting a series of Livestream chats (you can see them here.) Last night’s chat was on Profitability – something many entrepreneurs need to beef up on.

As the conversation progressed, we naturally started talking about sales and attracting the right prospects, etc. So often I see entrepreneurs – online and off – open a conversation with someone they don’t know by talking about themselves. Ew. We all know that guy at the cocktail party who does that right? Don’t be that guy or gal in a business setting.

What to do instead?

Lead with curiosity. Be truly, intensely interested in what’s going on with the other person. Ask questions. Maintain eye contact (rather than glancing around for someone more interesting to talk to). Be generous with your network if someone you know can help.

Need specific things to say? How about:

-What’s the biggest challenge you’re facing right now?

- What do you need help with?

- What’s the biggest stressor in your business?

Listen to the answer. Then ask more questions. “Tell me more about that.” is a great response.

Are you getting the idea? Take the focus off of you. Stop waiting for your opportunity to talk about yourself. Everyone does that and you aren’t like everyone.

The magic is that at some point the right, easy, natural opportunity to share what you’re up to IN A MEANINGFUL WAY will present itself.  And if it doesn’t, you will still stand out in someone’s memory.

We’re going to talk a whole lot more about curiosity at Creating Irresistible Presence in Atlanta September 29, 30 and October 1. I hope you will join us. http://www.irresistiblepresence.com

This video post is part of my video guest post series that introduces you to the guest speakers who will be teaching their magic at my live event, Creating Irresistible Presence.

You’ve already met Les McKeown, Elizabeth Marshall and Janet Goldstein. Today I want you to meet one of my very favorite people in the world, Mark Silver.

Mark has two-year old twins so he won’t be joining us in person BUT he is putting together an exclusive video presi that focuses on teaching you all about money models. Because let’s face it, if you’re business doesn’t have a revenue plan, it really isn’t a business is it?

You’re just going to love Mark. Here’s why:

If you’d like to get the details on my live event (it’s in Atlanta at the end of September) and grab your seat, here’s the link for that: http://www.irresistiblepresence.com

Last night, I had an experience that I would have never dreamed possible one year ago.

Three members of this Escaping Mediocrity Tribe created something amazing for me in Atlanta.

Several months ago, Judi Knight conceived of hosting an event at her super-cool B & B and I would be the featured guest speaker. Then she enlisted Dana Reeves and Brandon Sutton as co-conspirators for her mission.

Together, they organized, cooked, invited friends – and basically threw their hearts and souls into ensuring that the event ROCKED. And it did.

Sixty people showed up, listened to killer music, ate fab food, mixed, mingled, laughed and talked. Oh – and they got to listen to me speak for a little while too.

During my two and a half hour drive home (I drove back to Birmingham when the event) last night, I got a little teary as I started thinking about everything they did:

1) They spent their VERY valuable time planning and executing the event.

2) They put other priorities aside and cooked a TON of food.

3) They went out on a limb and invited friends to come hear me speak. To me that is the ultimate compliment and I can only hope that I did them proud.

I am touched beyond measure at the belief and support they gave me last night – and give me every single day.

So today, I say “Thank You.” Thank you for being the reasons I do what I do. Thank you for making me better and smarter. Thank you for opening your hearts and sharing your friends with me. Thank you for all the time, energy and love you put into making last night a success. Thank you for being a part of my tribe. I am an incredibly lucky woman.

I like being comfortable. Which means I like my habits. Even when they don’t serve me.

See, changing up a routine, doing things differently, trying something new and bold – that stuff requires a certain level of discomfort and a certain level of extra effort.

Because I am human, I want to take the easy path. That desire is programmed into my DNA.

Fortunately I am not an amoeba and am not at the mercy of my pre-programmed DNA (well - most of the time anyway.).

I can think and feel and make (drumroll for the frontal lobe’s’ evolution!) CHOICES.

I can step outside myself and say “Hey look – there you are doing the same old same old again. Isn’t that interesting.”

Or “Are you done with the same old same old yet? Cuz I sure am!”

Or “Hey why don’t we shake things up and try cooking Asian tonight?”

You get the idea.

The only way I’m going to move ahead on this escaping mediocrity path I chosen is to make different choices and create new habits.

Scary?

Sure it’s scary as h-e-double-toothpicks.

But the idea of staying where I am, doing the same old same old – THAT is really scary to me.

So, I screw up my courage and do new things. Go new places. Ask different people for help.

And soon – being daring and bold becomes a habit. And it’s a habit I think I’ll keep.

If you want to break out of your same-old, same-old habits that are holding you and your business back, I HIGHLY encourage you to check out my live event Creating Irresistible Presence. You’ll come away with a whole pack of awesome new habits that will propel you forward into the kind of success you are after.

It makes my head hurt.

Twitter. Facebook. Google Plus. Klout Plus. Empire Avenue. Posterous. And the list goes on and on and on.

We’re told we need to be all these places. But my questions are 1) How do I do all that and RUN my business? and 2) WHY do I have to be all those places?

I’ve tried. Really. I’m a Twitter junkie. Everyone knows that. And I’m dabbling around on Facebook, which I’m starting to get the hang of (I know, late-bloomer.). And I started on Google Plus when it first came out. And a ton of the cool kids say it is THE place to be. But I just don’t get it.

And it seems I’m not the only one feeling pulled in too many directions. Last week, Hugh McLeod (@gapingvoid) announced that he’s giving up social media all together so he can focus on his blog. I’m betting we’re going to see more of this and the overwhelm of social media begins to take its toll.

As entrepreneurs, we only have so much bandwidth and much of what’s available MUST go into the actual running of our businesses. Otherwise, we lose ourselves in tweeting, liking, plusing, etc. – which is awesome – don’t get me wrong. But it doesn’t pay the bills.

So how do we make good choices about where to put our time in the world of social media?

For me, I pay attention to where my audience hangs out. And by audience, I mean the people who read and comment on my blog and the people who are my clients. Not my peers, not my friends (though playing with them on social media is WAY fun). But the people I want to do business with.

This isn’t fool-proof and I’m still working out what this is actually going to look like in my daily online interactions. But at least it’s a start.

Because social media overwhelm and burnout is a mounting problem, I’m super excited to be part of a proposed SXSWi panel to talk more about it.You can take a look at what we’ll be discussing and vote for our panel here: http://panelpicker.sxsw.com/ideas/view/11382

What about you? Do you feel burned out on social media? What are your biggest challenges around managing it? What are your best solutions for managing it?

As always, I’m intensely curious about you and your thoughts. :-0

 

 

 

 

 

 

Continuing with my series this week that introduces you to some really awesome friends and experts who will be joining me for Creating Irresistible Presence (CIP) in Atlanta at the end of September.

Yesterday, you met CIP alum, Brandon Sutton. Today, you get to meet CIP newbie AND awesome expert speaker, Janet Goldstein.

Janet is bringing her incredible smarts in the world of publishing and her passion for developing ideas and stories into messages that matter to the Hooligan Tribe.

Her video will give you taste of ALL the reasons I love her.

 

Learn more about my Creating Irresistible Presence event here:
http://www.irresistiblepresence.com