I have a full plate this week. Opportunities and projects are everywhere and require my full, undivided attention. I had each day all planned out.
Then the Young Turk woke up this morning with a 100 degree fever.
There was a time when this sudden change in plans would have sent me into a tailspin of trying to do everything I “needed” to do and still take care of a sick child. I stressed myself out and didn’t accomplish much of anything very well.
My guiding question was always “How can I get it all done?” Needless to say, all my juggling and scrambling put me in a bad mood and I am certain my child did not feel particularly cared for. When the day was over, we both felt crappy.
Fast forward along the road to escaping mediocrity and I am happy to say I now use a whole different guidance system when dealing with the unexpected – especially when the unexpected involves my child. Wanna know what it is?!
“What will make my life taste the sweetest today?” 
The question gives me instant clarity on the person I want to be. I can do the few critical tasks that must be done by me, have a quick phone call with my VA, re-arrange the rest of my commitments, and then spend the rest of the day being Mommy.
For me, there is no sweeter taste in life than cuddling up with my son, smoothing his hair, retrieving the requested cool rag or cool drink, working puzzles and looking at picture books.
Does it stress me out that some of the things I really want to get done aren’t getting done? Of course it does. But my time as a much needed Mommy is short and there are no do-overs, so I am willing to quell the compulsion to “do it all” so that I can do this one thing well.
And, when he is well enough to go back to school, I will work like a madwoman. 
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October 5th, 2009 at 9:49 am
I can totally relate Sarah, except my little girl got a fever and started getting sick at 1:30 this morning. And 3:30. And 6:30. I am thinking about putting a red bull in my coffee right now….I digress. But to your point you have to expect the unexpected – in anything. Work, life, family…everything. 100% guaranteed, the monkey wrench is going to find your tire somewhere, somehow. Why do project managers build in that extra % to the timeline – the unexpected. Why to developers pad their delivery dates just a bit – the unexpected. Why do we leave 30 minutes early to the pediatrician that is 5 minutes away – because they are always behind, sorry I meant the unexpected. And as you indicated, I think it comes down to how we deal with the unexpected. How we roll with the punches. Do we let it control us and make us frazzeled or do we put things in perspective and control it (as best we can).
October 5th, 2009 at 9:49 am
I can totally relate Sarah, except my little girl got a fever and started getting sick at 1:30 this morning. And 3:30. And 6:30. I am thinking about putting a red bull in my coffee right now….I digress. But to your point you have to expect the unexpected – in anything. Work, life, family…everything. 100% guaranteed, the monkey wrench is going to find your tire somewhere, somehow. Why do project managers build in that extra % to the timeline – the unexpected. Why to developers pad their delivery dates just a bit – the unexpected. Why do we leave 30 minutes early to the pediatrician that is 5 minutes away – because they are always behind, sorry I meant the unexpected. And as you indicated, I think it comes down to how we deal with the unexpected. How we roll with the punches. Do we let it control us and make us frazzeled or do we put things in perspective and control it (as best we can).
October 5th, 2009 at 11:44 am
Love your guiding question!
October 5th, 2009 at 11:44 am
Love your guiding question!
October 5th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
The best feeling emerges when you let go of the list…when you realise the fight to become efficient and effective has become something other and bigger than the reason why being efficient and bigger was useful in the first place. I will admit that I am one of those people that starts to panic when no progress is being made on the list of things to do… but gradually I am learning to combat this and when I allow myself the right to reprioritise in light of whatever has come up there is a sense of freedom and right that puts everything back in its place.
Thank you for another insightful blog Sarah….I enjoy very much the opportunity you give me to reflect and re-evaluate…
October 5th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
The best feeling emerges when you let go of the list…when you realise the fight to become efficient and effective has become something other and bigger than the reason why being efficient and bigger was useful in the first place. I will admit that I am one of those people that starts to panic when no progress is being made on the list of things to do… but gradually I am learning to combat this and when I allow myself the right to reprioritise in light of whatever has come up there is a sense of freedom and right that puts everything back in its place.
Thank you for another insightful blog Sarah….I enjoy very much the opportunity you give me to reflect and re-evaluate…
October 5th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
Amen there momma! You don't get this time back and you won't regret it for a moment when they're teens so racing off to meet their friends. The work will always be there and, especially in today's world, I've found that most clients/employers understand. Keep it up and tell the Young Turk to feel better soon.
October 5th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
Amen there momma! You don't get this time back and you won't regret it for a moment when they're teens so racing off to meet their friends. The work will always be there and, especially in today's world, I've found that most clients/employers understand. Keep it up and tell the Young Turk to feel better soon.
October 5th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
That is EXACTLY my point Ed! It may be a sick child, unexpected house guests, a sudden deadline we have to meet – our lives a full of the unexpected. And it's our responses that make us either a) mediocre or b) extraordinary.
October 5th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
That is EXACTLY my point Ed! It may be a sick child, unexpected house guests, a sudden deadline we have to meet – our lives a full of the unexpected. And it's our responses that make us either a) mediocre or b) extraordinary.
October 5th, 2009 at 3:28 pm
I think we all panic at first when things don't go “as planned”. Remembering to breathe and to make conscious choices are learned responses that get better with practice. We just have to keep practicing.
October 5th, 2009 at 3:28 pm
I think we all panic at first when things don't go “as planned”. Remembering to breathe and to make conscious choices are learned responses that get better with practice. We just have to keep practicing.
October 5th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
I've never talked to anyone who didn't understand. And if I ever did, they wouldn't be a good fit for me.
October 5th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
I've never talked to anyone who didn't understand. And if I ever did, they wouldn't be a good fit for me.
October 5th, 2009 at 6:22 pm
To use the overused phrase….”stuff happens”….
That's why there's never just one solution to anything. Something that was A+ super double important today can tomorrow be the farthest thing from your mind, and vice versa. Roll with it. Improvisation isn't just a musical skill.
like you said, Sarah – if a client didn't understand that you had to take care of your kid….they probably didn't need to be your client in the first place.
Best wishes to a fast recovery for the Turk.
October 5th, 2009 at 6:22 pm
To use the overused phrase….”stuff happens”….
That's why there's never just one solution to anything. Something that was A+ super double important today can tomorrow be the farthest thing from your mind, and vice versa. Roll with it. Improvisation isn't just a musical skill.
like you said, Sarah – if a client didn't understand that you had to take care of your kid….they probably didn't need to be your client in the first place.
Best wishes to a fast recovery for the Turk.
October 6th, 2009 at 7:42 am
I had this same thing happen to me last week, Sarah, and on my craziest of crazy busy days. My Lola girl had a nasty cold and I'm one of those parents who actually hates to take germs to school, so I resigned myself to the fact that I was going to have to get all that I needed done accomplished with the help of a wingman. As you probably know, Lola is a twin, so we carted her sis off to school and then spent the rest of the day just hanging together. It was a lovely treat and one that doesn't happen often when you are blessed with twins. Lucy had a great day at school without her sister by her side and Lola had so much fun handing out with me that she mostly forgot she didn't feel well.
All of my clients know that I'm a mom and that, for me, being a mom is my most important job. And clearly, it is for you as well. All too quickly these little ones will be grown and gone, not needing us so much any more, so I vote we cuddle and snuggle and hug as much and as often as possible. And all the work will, no doubt, get done!!
October 6th, 2009 at 7:42 am
I had this same thing happen to me last week, Sarah, and on my craziest of crazy busy days. My Lola girl had a nasty cold and I'm one of those parents who actually hates to take germs to school, so I resigned myself to the fact that I was going to have to get all that I needed done accomplished with the help of a wingman. As you probably know, Lola is a twin, so we carted her sis off to school and then spent the rest of the day just hanging together. It was a lovely treat and one that doesn't happen often when you are blessed with twins. Lucy had a great day at school without her sister by her side and Lola had so much fun handing out with me that she mostly forgot she didn't feel well.
All of my clients know that I'm a mom and that, for me, being a mom is my most important job. And clearly, it is for you as well. All too quickly these little ones will be grown and gone, not needing us so much any more, so I vote we cuddle and snuggle and hug as much and as often as possible. And all the work will, no doubt, get done!!
October 6th, 2009 at 7:44 am
That is the best way to get things done family first.. ALWAYS! =o)
October 6th, 2009 at 7:44 am
That is the best way to get things done family first.. ALWAYS! =o)
October 6th, 2009 at 7:44 am
I just came home from my therapy session where I divulged my immense guilt at being a working mom with teens whose lives are overwhelming. Feelings of inadequacy consume most of my days. Somehow, I never get my “to do” list done, no matter how hard I try. Someone or something gets left behind… and usually its quality time with my children. I have now developed a new philosophy — to stop making unrealistic “to do” lists that set me up for failure. Instead of having a dozen tasks set before me where I have no room for the unexpected, I now have ONE thing on my list. If I accomplish that, I allow myself a celebration. One important thing will get done each and every day. Whatever gets accomplished beyond that, is icing on the cake. Now when a child needs an unexpected ride or errand run, I have no resentment that my my “to do” list isn't getting done. I'll let you know how it works
@jeannevb
October 6th, 2009 at 7:44 am
I just came home from my therapy session where I divulged my immense guilt at being a working mom with teens whose lives are overwhelming. Feelings of inadequacy consume most of my days. Somehow, I never get my “to do” list done, no matter how hard I try. Someone or something gets left behind… and usually its quality time with my children. I have now developed a new philosophy — to stop making unrealistic “to do” lists that set me up for failure. Instead of having a dozen tasks set before me where I have no room for the unexpected, I now have ONE thing on my list. If I accomplish that, I allow myself a celebration. One important thing will get done each and every day. Whatever gets accomplished beyond that, is icing on the cake. Now when a child needs an unexpected ride or errand run, I have no resentment that my my “to do” list isn't getting done. I'll let you know how it works
@jeannevb
October 6th, 2009 at 9:21 am
As I rocked and shushed my hysterical 9mth old for hours last night and thought about today's deadlines and whispered over and over “I can't do this, I can't do this”. And yet, I am doing “this”. Right here, right now. Because I know what my big rocks are for today (and now my Twitter allocation is over-glad I spent it on your post). Back to doing the best I can in the confluence between planning and reality.
October 6th, 2009 at 9:21 am
As I rocked and shushed my hysterical 9mth old for hours last night and thought about today's deadlines and whispered over and over “I can't do this, I can't do this”. And yet, I am doing “this”. Right here, right now. Because I know what my big rocks are for today (and now my Twitter allocation is over-glad I spent it on your post). Back to doing the best I can in the confluence between planning and reality.
October 6th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
So much of life for me right now is multi-tasking and tending to one thing while peering at the other out of the corner of my eye. Remember the last time you were at a party and someone “talked” to you while looking over your shoulder to see the next best thing enter the room? I bet our kids feel like that a lot. The thought of this makes me a little sad. I must do better.
October 6th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
So much of life for me right now is multi-tasking and tending to one thing while peering at the other out of the corner of my eye. Remember the last time you were at a party and someone “talked” to you while looking over your shoulder to see the next best thing enter the room? I bet our kids feel like that a lot. The thought of this makes me a little sad. I must do better.
October 6th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
you know – I took many improve classes when I was in theatre and those skills stand me in good stead on the days I have to “wing it”. And today, I taught the young turk about the phrase “thinking outside the bos”. One of the many benefits of getting to hang out with him for longer periods of time. Which I happen to know you will think is pretty cool.
October 6th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
you know – I took many improve classes when I was in theatre and those skills stand me in good stead on the days I have to “wing it”. And today, I taught the young turk about the phrase “thinking outside the bos”. One of the many benefits of getting to hang out with him for longer periods of time. Which I happen to know you will think is pretty cool.
October 6th, 2009 at 4:42 pm
Sarah…we both know that things can wait and will always “be there”! Hope he is feeling better and mom is taking care of herself!
October 6th, 2009 at 4:42 pm
Sarah…we both know that things can wait and will always “be there”! Hope he is feeling better and mom is taking care of herself!
October 6th, 2009 at 8:04 pm
I love how you tell the story of Lucy's and Lola's day. Because in the end, it is all about the story we tell ourselves about the facts at hand, right? And yep – soon enough we won't be able to catch them for a kiss they will be moving so fast. Sounds like you made your day taste pretty sweet – yeah for you.
October 6th, 2009 at 8:04 pm
I love how you tell the story of Lucy's and Lola's day. Because in the end, it is all about the story we tell ourselves about the facts at hand, right? And yep – soon enough we won't be able to catch them for a kiss they will be moving so fast. Sounds like you made your day taste pretty sweet – yeah for you.
October 6th, 2009 at 8:06 pm
There is no greater bludgeon than Mommy Guilt – of that I am convinced. I love the way you've decided to turn that around so that the unexpected is ALMOST welcome and you feel like celebrating. Keep us posted on how it goes!
October 6th, 2009 at 8:06 pm
There is no greater bludgeon than Mommy Guilt – of that I am convinced. I love the way you've decided to turn that around so that the unexpected is ALMOST welcome and you feel like celebrating. Keep us posted on how it goes!
October 6th, 2009 at 8:19 pm
Oh I have so been there. Sitting in the middle of a situation saying “I can't handle this. I can't handle this.” And yet, as you said, somehow I did mange to handle it. I everytime, I get better at handling it and my own confidence grows. Sounds like yours is too. Glad your allocation included a stop here, too.
October 6th, 2009 at 8:19 pm
Oh I have so been there. Sitting in the middle of a situation saying “I can't handle this. I can't handle this.” And yet, as you said, somehow I did mange to handle it. I everytime, I get better at handling it and my own confidence grows. Sounds like yours is too. Glad your allocation included a stop here, too.
October 6th, 2009 at 8:33 pm
Oh I hate that person at the party – and I hate it even more when I AM that person – yick. Such a great visual Amy – thank you.
October 6th, 2009 at 8:33 pm
Oh I hate that person at the party – and I hate it even more when I AM that person – yick. Such a great visual Amy – thank you.
October 6th, 2009 at 8:41 pm
Well, without you, I couldn't even ask the question – you are the one who keeps me sane and on track. And you take my crazy phone calls and remind of what is most important. (In case everyone is wondering – Delegation Diva is my VA – and my rock.)
October 6th, 2009 at 8:41 pm
Well, without you, I couldn't even ask the question – you are the one who keeps me sane and on track. And you take my crazy phone calls and remind of what is most important. (In case everyone is wondering – Delegation Diva is my VA – and my rock.)
October 7th, 2009 at 7:47 am
Awww! What a great post and inspiration. I personally cherish those times of cuddling with the kids when they are sick. Snuggling on the couch and watching movies and cartoons with the occasional soup or popsicle break can be one of the most bonding moments. It's times like these that I am most grateful for being a work-at-home-dad. It's great feeling when your kids know that you will always be there for them.
Being a parent is our most important job and I fully intend on being the best at my job.
It's pretty incredible how we can become ultra focused when we choose our most important tasks that must be completed and get them done quickly so we can provide our children with our undivided attention. And like you said Sarah, when you child goes back to school you can bust your butt off to get caught up. You'll probably be surprised at how little you really missed out on with work. You'll probably also find that you will come back more refreshed and feeling great about yourself because you put your family first and spent some quality time with them when they needed it the most. It sure beats the guilty feelings when you are rushing around and can't give your kids your undivided attention.
This is such a great topic Sarah. Thanks for bringing it up. Now I want to go cuddle with my kids
Scott Tousignant
October 7th, 2009 at 7:47 am
Awww! What a great post and inspiration. I personally cherish those times of cuddling with the kids when they are sick. Snuggling on the couch and watching movies and cartoons with the occasional soup or popsicle break can be one of the most bonding moments. It's times like these that I am most grateful for being a work-at-home-dad. It's great feeling when your kids know that you will always be there for them.
Being a parent is our most important job and I fully intend on being the best at my job.
It's pretty incredible how we can become ultra focused when we choose our most important tasks that must be completed and get them done quickly so we can provide our children with our undivided attention. And like you said Sarah, when you child goes back to school you can bust your butt off to get caught up. You'll probably be surprised at how little you really missed out on with work. You'll probably also find that you will come back more refreshed and feeling great about yourself because you put your family first and spent some quality time with them when they needed it the most. It sure beats the guilty feelings when you are rushing around and can't give your kids your undivided attention.
This is such a great topic Sarah. Thanks for bringing it up. Now I want to go cuddle with my kids
Scott Tousignant
October 7th, 2009 at 8:43 am
Thanks for the reminder….It was good for me to hear that today…..I'm on the road in Toronto for some tourism with my daughter Ava, who is now 15, following an unschooling conference here last weekend…..I find I've overscheduled myself a bit on my own activities today and perhaps not left quite enough time or energy for relaxed family time. Your reminder is a good one….
What will make my life sweetest today…? Honoring my own need for self-support, doing it well then letting it go and enjoying it more by not overdoing, appreciating that the decks have been cleared for my nice, interesting, challenging, juicy family time with my teenager.
October 7th, 2009 at 8:43 am
Thanks for the reminder….It was good for me to hear that today…..I'm on the road in Toronto for some tourism with my daughter Ava, who is now 15, following an unschooling conference here last weekend…..I find I've overscheduled myself a bit on my own activities today and perhaps not left quite enough time or energy for relaxed family time. Your reminder is a good one….
What will make my life sweetest today…? Honoring my own need for self-support, doing it well then letting it go and enjoying it more by not overdoing, appreciating that the decks have been cleared for my nice, interesting, challenging, juicy family time with my teenager.
October 10th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
What an excellent reminder Sarah. Most times, we're asking the wrong questions (i.e. how far is too far or how much can I cram in versus how can I honor myself and my God today or what is the one task I'll do that will produce the greatest amount of results). Thank you for helping steer us all in a better direction.
October 10th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
What an excellent reminder Sarah. Most times, we're asking the wrong questions (i.e. how far is too far or how much can I cram in versus how can I honor myself and my God today or what is the one task I'll do that will produce the greatest amount of results). Thank you for helping steer us all in a better direction.
October 10th, 2009 at 8:45 pm
What an excellent reminder Sarah. Most times, we're asking the wrong questions (i.e. how far is too far or how much can I cram in versus how can I honor myself and my God today or what is the one task I'll do that will produce the greatest amount of results). Thank you for helping steer us all in a better direction.
April 16th, 2010 at 12:37 pm
You've it, sweetie – you Understand. That's awesome. So many women I know do NOT get it.