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Letting Myself Be Seen

I was thinking last night about what I wanted to write about today (yes – I still write my posts real time instead of writing a bunch and scheduling them) and at the same time was gripped by a sad heart because I was missing my friends from BlogWorld in Las Vegas.

So I decided to write about that. Not necessarily them specifically or feeling sad – more about how important it is to have friends who really see you.  What do I mean by “see”?

My friends see me for who I am and who I am capable of becoming. They see my faults, weaknesses and shortcomings. They see my strengths, my assets, and my talents. They tell me the truth. They call me on my b.s. They see me in the best light – even when I can’t do that for myself. They believe in me. In short, they see all of me and love me anyway.

Pretty good stuff, huh?

Friendships like this a very rare and they require some things of me that are scary. I have to be willing to show up, tell the truth and be incredibly vulnerable. And I have to risk having it all blow up in my face (and yes, that has happened). But I’m willing to run that risk because, truthfully, I can’t imagine what my life would be like without having them in it.

And in case you are wondering, they make my business a  better business for the same reasons they make me better a better me. :-)

If you already have friends like these, cherish them. If you don’t, I encourage you to find some. Don’t spill your guts too early or all at once – that scares people. Instead, slowly step closer and share a little, then a little more and then a little more. Not everyone while be able to see you. Don’t take it personally. It just wasn’t meant to be.

But I can promise you this: if you take the time to cultivate friendships like the ones I just described, your life will be enriched beyond measure.

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Tags: business, friendship

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 21st, 2009 at 8:41 am and is filed under Uncommon Business, Uncommon Lessons, Uncommon Living. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

  • I've got a friend like this. That would be my Sissy Val. She is priceless, and always will be. :)

    krissy
    connect with me on twitter:
    http://twitter.com/iamkrissy
  • Hi Sarah,

    Yes, it's so true that to have a friend you need to be a friend first. That takes some risk. Vulnerability is something many of us could use more of. If you don't take off the mask, how can someone be your friend? I hope to go to BlogWorld in the future! Am a newish blogger trying to reach out and leave comments on the sites of other fab bloggers. Enjoy your friendships!

    Thx, Giulietta, Inspirational Rebel
  • Sarah, thanks for sharing this! You are so right. I think friends are such blessings! You stated that your friends make your business a better business, as well. My best friend and I have agreed that we will treat each other's businesses as our own - that means I market her business and she markets mine! We pray for each other's businesses; we mastermind for each other's success; we are here for one another. It has been so awesome to always have her in my corner! Thanks for sharing your blog-it's a great reminder to be thankful for the great people we have in our lives :) (and thanks to Tatyana for the mention...)
  • Sarah Robinson
    Wow - I love what you and your friends do fo each other's businesses - that's awesome! And I am so glad Tatyana sent you my way. :-)
  • Dear Sarah

    Great post... I think friends like that are blessings and we must find time to slow down and stop and be grateful for them. because they are encouraging us to be who are intended to be..

    Thank you

    Tatyana
  • Sarah Robinson
    It is so true Tatyana! I said earlier how our fast paced world is not inclined for the time it takes to cultivate these kinds of friendships. We are accustomed to instant gratification, yes?! Oh but when we do slow down and invest in our friends, the payback is oh-so-worth-it!
  • I need to find some better friends. Its as simple as that. I'm plenty willing to lay it all down on the line, and for some reason around here, that scares people. I'm more grateful for some of the people I know via Twitter and other social media outlets than I am for most of the people I know offline.
  • Sarah Robinson
    Maybe that can be part of your "Escaping Mediocrity" adventure?!
  • ava diamond
    I love this post, Sarah. It is only when we are in relationship with people with whom we can be unabashedly, completely, and fully who we are that true friendship can exist. When we try to mold ourselves to what we think others want us to be, we lose ourselves, are not living authentically, and are not in genuine relationship.

    And your comment about moving from black and white to technicolor explains it beautifully.

    I truly treasure my friends. And I'm grateful you reminded me of how powerful those relationships are in my life.

    Heading off to bed in full blown gratitude!
  • Sarah Robinson
    Thank you Ava. :-) I think we lose ourselves not only by trying to "be" someone we are not, but also by holding back big chunks of ourselves. Both wind up presenting a truncated/skewed version of who we are to the world. And, truth be told, not everyone in this world is safe enough to be our full selves around. Ah but those technicolor friendships are so blindingly beautiful - they make it all worth the risk, don' they?
  • karl kovacs
    Another home run for an on the go blog post!
  • Sarah Robinson
    Thank you Karl. :-)
  • Sarah,

    In this overly complex world, you've again highlighted what really matters. The simply beauty of friendship, and all the warmth and love that goes with it. So much of life is superficial, so much of the precious moments of live spent chasing after what we think will make us finally happy. With friends, true friends, we have found our true happiness!

    Always enjoy your writing!!!

    Peter
  • Sarah Robinson
    As I get older, Peter, I am realizing that the simple things that are right in front of me are the things that make me the happiest. Thank you for helping me remember that. :-)
  • ...suddenly everything goes from black and white to technicolor. That’s the difference!

    Yep, you're right. THAT's the difference. Wish I always chose the *risk*, but alas...! Thanks for sharing again today!
  • Hey Sarah,

    Thanks for an awesome post. I have always believed that your true friends are the ones who stick through your worst times and are there to support you to the end. Support however isn't always a pat on the back or a "great Job" but rather true open and honest conversation and opinion about what it is that you are doing or heading. I have always been able to tell who my true friends were because no matter how deep I got into something or how disappointed they may have been with my actions and faults at the end of the day they were there to help me through it all. Those sort of relationships are not formed overnight but rather cultivated and grown over a life time of shared experiences. The most important aspect of these friendships though is not how much you get from your friends, but really how much you give in return, with no expectations for reciprication.
  • Sarah Robinson
    "...how much you give in return, with no expectations for reciprication." Love that because it is so true. We give to our friends from our heart, not because we can gain something, but because we want to give of ourselves. And you are so right. These kinds of friendships take time to grow and in our fast[paced world, we often miss out on them.
  • #thingsthatmakemecry #thingsthatareawesome #reasonsiloveyou #ifitrytosaysomethingnotinhashtagsiwontbeabletodoit
  • Sarah Robinson
    #youcryingmakesmecry #thatshowmuchIloveyou
  • Wow, Sarah. Great reminder to cherish and invest in relationships that are most meaningful. The hardest part is that vulnerability part. The risk part. But without the risk (with "safety") we miss the chance of the greatest joys of life. The stuff we were meant for. On with the adventure!
  • Sarah Robinson
    Brian, I can think of nothing scarier than vulnerability. Nothing. And I've lived in that safety zone. And it is that - safe, I mean. But wow, is it two dimensional. No - it's like in The Wizard of Oz movie. When Dorothy lands in Munchkinland and suddenly everything goes from black and white to technicolor. That's the difference!
  • I love your comment that your friends "see all of me and love me anyway". Those are the friends we can also count on to remind us who we are when we forget.
  • Sarah Robinson
    Oh isn't that the truth! When I feel like something's all wrong or I am all wrong, they are so quick to remind me of who I am. LOVE that. :-)
  • Well said, I am blessed too. Thanks for reminding me that I should be thankful!
  • Sarah Robinson
    Yep - gratitude for such rare friends goes a long long way. :-)
  • Thanks so much for sharing this Sarah. I have been thinking along these same lines a good deal lately.

    I loved this line: "My friends see me for who I am and who I am capable of becoming." I recently had a long lunch with an old friend from High School days. I had just discovered that she has a successful Internet presence, especially in the Virtual Assistant field. I have known Kelly for over 30 years.

    Even though we haven't seen each other much in the last few years, it was as if we started right where we had left off.

    We talked about her business, but most of all she questioned me about my internet business. She saw things in me and my business that I didn't even realize were there.

    She saw "who I am capable of becoming."

    Powerful.

    Blessings,
    Frank
  • Sarah Robinson
    It's truly magical to be in the presence of friends like that, isn't it Frank? It's like they hold a vision of me until I can hold it for myself. SO glad you enjoyed the post!
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