Actually, that should be the extent of my post because that is about where I am today.
It’s just not going according to plan – even with all the flex I built into the plan.
This use to freak me out (and truth be told, I freaked out just a bit over the past 24 hours). I used to pass judgment on myself and create never-ending nightmare scenarios in my head about how awful it was all going to turn out.
I don’t do that any more.
I do stress myself beyond the point of reason but fortunately there are people in my life who cut that pretty short. They won’t allow me to churn in my unreasonable thinking for very long. They are bright shiny spots in my life.
So now what do I do when it doesn’t go according to plan?
Well, first I say it out loud. “This is not going according to plan. And I won’t die because of it.”
Then I tell people who need to know that the plan needs modifying. Like I need to say to you, my tribe, that registration for my live event won’t open on Thursday because there are some key details that I am waiting for.
Then I let myself off the hook. Cuz, like I said, I won’t die and, as best I can tell, neither will anyone else.
And that’s where I am today.
Where are you?
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June 8th, 2010 at 3:05 pm
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Leesa Barnes, Sally_G. Sally_G said: In case you've been wondering, @SarahRobinson IS perfect. -> Sometimes It Doesn't Go According To Plan http://bit.ly/dD5AQ5 [...]
June 8th, 2010 at 7:56 pm
I'm still working on to-do items from a list crafted 2 weeks ago. Ordinarily, I can knock out to-do lists with ruthless efficiency, but I'll be damned if that's happening lately.
The upside: the chaos is all due to new business. It's a test for me and an opportunity to streamline efficiencies, adapt, learn new skills and overcome. Perhaps I used to be able to knock out to-do lists so ruthlessly because I had outgrown the abilities. So I'm spending a few weeks in “Holy Sh!t Land,” adapting to the new reality. That's where I am today, and my “not going according to plan” is going according to plan.
June 8th, 2010 at 7:56 pm
Sounds like you've been having the week I've had, Sarah! Only I wasn't quite so good about stopping the runaway “Awfulizing”, “What if?” train. Until this morning.
I got out my journal and I just dumped it all out. My frustrations. My “I don't wannas”. My fears. My “whys?” My doubts. My wanting to control and push and make it happen. And once I got it out – so it wasn't bottled up inside of me – I was able to let it go. And get back to doing what I can do and that IS in my control to support me to have and do what I want and need to have and do. I could relax. (It's hard to relax with all that gunk inside of me.) And now I'm better able to see the PROGRESS I am making – even if it's not the progress I had PLANNED to make.
Hang in there… thanks for your authenticity!
June 8th, 2010 at 8:00 pm
Lame-Ass! (KIDDING!! Before you all start throwing stuff at me – I'm referencing a Tweet that was made on Twitter a few days ago. There's a compulsive part of me that has to do that and cannot stop myself. I meant that term of endearment in the kindest, most respectable way possible.)
You are absolutely right – this news is not going to kill me. Thank you for that. Stuff happens. Usually, in cases like this — better stuff is about to happen, better stuff that couldn't happen if the original stuff had happened according to plan. So, at some point – probably sooner than later — you're going to look back and say “WHEW (or whatever the southern belle equivalent of WHEW is), thank HEAVENS the original plan fell through.” And then, if you have time, you'll send us a great post on Serendipity.
Not only that — but you've just freed up our Thursday for us. So ~ bonus all around!!
June 8th, 2010 at 8:01 pm
I'm printing this out because I wish I had someone in my life to remind me when I start creating nightmare scenarios in my head. Instead, while well meaning they may be, I have friends who either agree with the unlikely scenarios and then go on to say, “but it will be okay…. eventually”. Of course, this rarely ever is the case and I end up wasting my emotions on fears rather than realities. Your post was timely for me and may have saved a lot of grief. Thank you.
June 8th, 2010 at 8:02 pm
An extremely wise lady once changed the way I viewed life with four simple words. I've been so grateful ever since, I've shared them with everyone who I feel will benefit from hearing them.
I Am Now Here.
I believe, it was you ….
June 8th, 2010 at 8:05 pm
Worry is interest paid on a debt not yet due. That's saved me from the Roundy Roundy thoughts more than once.
June 8th, 2010 at 8:28 pm
Life is what you make it. – You could go all drama-queen, which doesn't solve anything for anybody. You can accept, and find your next solution. This is also the easier path.
I had a moment (about a week long) that was drama queen material for each and every second. I kept repeating the new/old (WW2) slogan “keep calm and carry on” like mantra. Finally I just accepted that life was going be turmoil and unsettled and unsettling for as long as it was going to be. It needed to vent itself. Once I did that, my calm did present itself and I have been able to carry on.
More importantly, I see the end looming for the turmoil. Yeah! I also see many solutions so I don't have to go down this path again. Yeah again.
Buddha said, “Acceptance is the answer.” It is proving true for me.
BTW – I am so ready to accept some peace and quiet zones.
June 8th, 2010 at 9:58 pm
Ladies…..all of you are awesometastic!!!! Love all of your life experiences that you've shared. Lately, I've had some crazy ass days and have been “up in my head” where “stuff” just gets bigger and bigger….I think you know where I'm going with this…LoL. And then, I'm completely paralyzed with INaction. My 18 y.o. niece sets me straight with her, “Aunt Deb, it's NOT life or death!” And then we laugh and I so totally agree with her. A few deep breaths and then I remember, “in the moment is where we live…….and acceptance is the key.”
Life is ALWAYS going to have days/moments where I want to just scream and then hop in my car, put the top down, crank up the music and just start driving to places unknown OR to da' beach “=)
Love to all….WOOTY WOOT (for you, Sally) and (((HUGS)))
June 8th, 2010 at 10:01 pm
yeah my plans may be getting way laid soon due to someone locally getting their panties in a wad over something I mentioned to someone on FB
not sure how it will all pan out but I may have to take my business back to the global level instead of trying to make a go of it locally
which is unfortunate because there are people here who need my talents
June 8th, 2010 at 10:03 pm
Thanks for making me laugh out loud, Sally! And thanks, too, for the acknowledgment…I feel humbled and honored. So GOOD to be back here again with you and the tribe!
June 8th, 2010 at 10:17 pm
Almost nothing I've planned this year has gone according to plan. I've gone from being excited to being disappointed to feeling free to feeling like I've failed somehow to letting it all go and going with the flow. Yep, its been a roller coaster. I'm glad you have the support of people who can keep you from such a spiral.
June 8th, 2010 at 10:19 pm
Okay.. wanted to share this before but didn't have time between calls. Lately, I've been learning a TON from the weeds in our huge vegetable garden. (I wrote a recent newsletter about one such lesson if you want to check it out: http://aweber.com/b/1eimD)
Anyway, last week my goal was to have the garden weeded and 80% planted by Sunday. Dan and I scheduled time each day to work on it. The ground was dry and hard – which made pulling the supersize weeds we have really difficult, exhausting and INCREDIBLY slow. It was NOT FUN at all! I was SO tempted to drop everything else in my life and put in 6-8 hours every day weeding just so we could get it planted. (You know, the “just get it done” energy?)
I didn't do it – mostly because I'm in Sarah's GYRIG class and am practicing setting and sticking to business hours and a schedule that supports me to have more balance in my life. But I was SO frustrated because things weren't going as planned. I just wanted to get it done! (Which was kind of killing the joy in the process!)
It rained Friday night. Which meant that on Saturday morning, the ground was moist and soft and pulling weeds was fast and easy. We made more progress in 2-3 hours that morning than we had all week. It rained again Saturday night – so it was easy to get a lot done on Sunday morning too. And we didn't have to spend all day weeding.
Guess what? It rained again today… which means that tomorrow weeding is going to go much faster again.
Here's the REAL learning from this. Last week, when the soil was dry and weeding next to impossible, I COULD have pushed and forced and “made it happen”… I could have made MY PLAN work. And it would have taken a TON of time and energy. I would have been exhausted and not good for anything or anyone else. And, with all that, I don't think we would have made as much progress as we made when we let our plans go… and the rain came.
So, sometimes, I have to remind myself that things not going according to plan can ACTUALLY turn out better than I had planned!
June 8th, 2010 at 10:37 pm
This is exactly where I have been since accepting a part time teaching job back in March. I was gearing up to get my business in full swing, I had some private clients, a corporate client, and some freelance work. My business was getting ready to become real. Then the corporate client went bankrupt, and things fell apart a bit. I took the teaching job to keep my family secure while I picked up the pieces and figured out “next”.
I have struggled to try and teach and run my business and it has been frustrating. A few weeks ago I had an amazing new business opportunity appear, and haven't had the time to put it into action. Bonus for the great idea, sad for not getting to implement it. However, I finally realized what you are saying here: sometimes it doesn't go as planned, and I just need to relax and not stress out.
I have 7 days left before the teaching gig is finished and I can focus on my business. I may have lost a bit of ground with the new business idea, but the lag in time isn't fatal, it will all work out in the end. I also now get to have the super cool experience of giving the graduation speech at this years high school grad.
So, the plan didn't work out, but the new plan isn't so bad. Remembering this is a good thing.
June 8th, 2010 at 10:44 pm
Nope, things don't always go according to OUR plan. And that's always a reminder to me that something bigger than me (God, Universe, whatever you want to call it, but I call it God) is really in charge. And it usually turns out that there's a reason a particular thing didn't happen when I wanted it to.
Of course, being the impatient mortal that I am, I usually struggle with all of it, get pissed off, and then take a deep breath and remember that things happen when they are meant to happen. Just not necessarily according to my time table. Whether I like it or not. And as you pointed out, as long as no one dies, it will all be okay.
And your page for your live event will rock, whether it's on Thursday or Friday or even Saturday. Because it's yours
xoxo
June 9th, 2010 at 12:34 am
I wish more people would do this . . . just relax, admit it's not going according to plan, and move on from there. We get all twisted up over the most trivial stuff sometimes. Dates can change, schedules can be tweaked – it's all small stuff not worth sweating!
June 9th, 2010 at 2:09 am
Hey Kimberlee! I think I'm riding that same rollercoaster you're on! Maybe we can ride it together?
June 9th, 2010 at 2:12 am
You can do it Jeremie! Hang in there! And maybe an EVEN better opportunity will come along 14 days from now that you wouldn't have been able to respond to if you had been available for the one you missed out on. How cool would that be?
June 9th, 2010 at 3:26 am
awesome.
and yes – when we stretch and grow, it takes us awhile to catch up to what we consider our normal pace. And I think all your good stuff is delicious.
June 9th, 2010 at 3:26 am
meh – it will all work out. just have to back off my self will run riot.
June 9th, 2010 at 3:31 am
I know right? I can be SUCH a lame ass.
And earlier today I truly felt like one. But now I don't. And guess what? No one is going to die. It's all gonna work out just fine. And we southern girls say “Whew!”, too!
June 9th, 2010 at 3:32 am
oh christi – come back whenever you need a dose of real-world encouragement. That's what we specialize in. And I am thrilled beyond words that my ruminations might short-circuit any grief or heartache. Keep us posted?
June 9th, 2010 at 3:35 am
Love it Elizabeth! For really dire circumstances I like to pull out “That which doesn't kill me makes me stronger.” But I really try to keep those kinds of circumstances to a minimum.
When you find the peace and quiet zones, will you please send me a map?
June 9th, 2010 at 3:36 am
You always make me laugh Deb. And tell your niece I said “thank you”.
June 9th, 2010 at 3:37 am
It's hard when the path is uncertain. keep us posted okay?
June 9th, 2010 at 3:38 am
You just described my life. And you are one of the people who reminds me that it's all okay – just like it is.
June 9th, 2010 at 3:40 am
Your giving the graduation speech?! AWESOME!!! Please tell me it will be videotaped so we can see it. And I can tell you from personal experience that 7 days may feel like a lifetime at the moment, but in the grand scheme of business, it's just a blink. You have PLENTY of time. and yes! to the new plan – yay!!
June 9th, 2010 at 3:42 am
um – what if it's next week sometime?!
seriously – it is so true. I think if I can just lean my will into something hard enough, I can make it move. And so, my lesson to learn over and over again is that it doesn't work like that. And it's a very good thing because some of the things I wanted to will into being would have been very very bad.
And it is all going to be ok.
June 9th, 2010 at 3:45 am
I've just decided that it's too tiring to do all that. FAR easier – and actually more fun – to just say what is. And what is is truly not worth sweating.
June 9th, 2010 at 3:56 am
that reminds me of something that has been handed down to me and that is everything happens for a reason no matter if it is a good happening or bad happening but it is going to happen and we have to wait to see sometimes why it was supposed to happen
your garden story is a great metaphor on this
June 9th, 2010 at 3:58 am
I will
I think this is a time to test my real fortitude in a different way than I have gone through before. If I can survive being molested, raped and being in two abusive relationships I think I can survive and muster through this.
June 9th, 2010 at 5:07 am
Not sure if the speech is being videotaped, I can keep you updated. However, in the spirit of 2010, technology, and being a bit different I started the speech today here http://jeremiemiller.com/grad/. The plan is three days of blogging and maybe a text message here and there, all leading up to the in-house, traditional grad speech.
Should be fun!
June 9th, 2010 at 3:32 pm
Pat Honiotes, one of my coaches, is constantly reminding me: “Teresa, just because you can make something happen doesn't mean it was meant to happen.”
June 9th, 2010 at 3:33 pm
Amen! Now I just have to keep remembering that!
June 11th, 2010 at 2:44 am
“All is well”…. that is what I say to myself every morning, because every day is different. And yes, our plans will hardly ever go “according to plan”. It is what the universe has in store for us. And in part thanks to your coaching, I can now roll with that and adjust accordingly, when pervious to your assistance I thought the world was going to end for me.
It has been so “freeing”, so “lifting” to let go of that control of “what I realistically can't control” and move on with taking care of ME. Wow, did that make sense??? I hope so! I've been happier than I have in over a year. It's a beautiful thing to let go and let it be. And then move forward despite the fear or obstacles. I did it this week and am liberated.
I've been in “holy shit how can I pull this off land!?” the past 3 days but I did it. It is not perfect, my blog, website, materials, but I did it. and I'm actually happy to say it is NOT perfect lol – but I can tweak it as I go. Bottom line is, that I did it. And I'm proud. so thank you sarah & friends for providing the courage. Truly, you are all such catalysts, I love it!