What is "Generosity", Exactly?

So, I’ve been thinking a lot about generosity and how it shows up in the online world we all operate in. We hear the word A LOT – but what does it MEAN?

I’m going to share my 2 cents and I’m really hoping you will share yours.

In my relatively short time in the great big web word, I’ve experienced amazing acts of real generosity.

People helped me when I was in no position at all to offer anything in return. I’ve hosted guest posters who gave so freely of themselves, their time and their talent that it floored me, I’ve had people step up and just do things for me, because they can.

I’ve also experienced a different, darker side of “generosity”.

People who only give to those who can “help” them get a leg up, people who don’t initiate generosity yet expect it of others, people who ask for generosity with no intention of reciprocating, people who use “supposed” generosity to keep their friends close and their enemies closer.

(And I could namedrop here with people you would absolutely recognize. But I won’t because that’s no the intention of this post.)

So it’s a tricky business, this whole “generosity” thing, isn’t it?

And yes, I know, we are to give from our heart without a thought of return and I totally get that. But I still think the topic is worth exploring.

So, I’ll open it up to you. What are your thoughts and experiences around generosity?

I’ve seen it touted as a “strategy” – which makes me kind of ill -

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011 at 1:56 pm and is filed under Uncommon Bookshelf. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

http://www.anonymous8.com Sarah Baron
Generosity is giving without any expectation of anything in return. Generosity is help, giving a push or something to someone who needs it. Generosity’s gift to the giver is the feeling of having done something nice for someone else…
Sincerely yours,
Sarah Baron
Anonymous8

Anonymous
Love your definition Sarah. It’s beautiful.

http://www.lisarobbinyoung.com Lisa Robbin Young
IMHO, generosity can’t be a strategy, else it’s not true generosity – or maybe I’m confusing it with altruism. By definition, “Generosity is the habit of giving freely without expecting anything in return.” Any expectation negates the nature of generosity. Generosity is unconditional love in action. It’s not possible if it’s a strategy. Again, “strategy, a word of military origin, refers to a plan of action designed to achieve a particular goal.” A particular goal connotes an expected outcome. You can’t have expectation and no expectation in the same gesture.
You CAN have hope. For example, I’m doing this because I want to, and I HOPE that if you like it, you’ll tell people about it. No pressure, no expectation you’ll actually do anything other than receive the gift.
Hope is not a strategy either – at least from what people tell me, but I do a LOT of hoping, backed by action, and it seems to be working for me.
Me thinks there’s a blog post in there somewhere.

Anonymous
I’m anxious to see said blog post.

http://www.anonymous8.com Sarah Baron
Generosity is giving without any expectation of anything in return. Generosity is help, giving a push or something to someone who needs it. Generosity’s gift to the giver is the feeling of having done something nice for someone else…
Sincerely yours,
Sarah Baron
Anonymous8

Anonymous
Love your definition Sarah. It’s beautiful.

http://www.lisarobbinyoung.com Lisa Robbin Young
IMHO, generosity can’t be a strategy, else it’s not true generosity – or maybe I’m confusing it with altruism. By definition, “Generosity is the habit of giving freely without expecting anything in return.” Any expectation negates the nature of generosity. Generosity is unconditional love in action. It’s not possible if it’s a strategy. Again, “strategy, a word of military origin, refers to a plan of action designed to achieve a particular goal.” A particular goal connotes an expected outcome. You can’t have expectation and no expectation in the same gesture.
You CAN have hope. For example, I’m doing this because I want to, and I HOPE that if you like it, you’ll tell people about it. No pressure, no expectation you’ll actually do anything other than receive the gift.
Hope is not a strategy either – at least from what people tell me, but I do a LOT of hoping, backed by action, and it seems to be working for me.
Me thinks there’s a blog post in there somewhere.

Anonymous
I’m anxious to see said blog post.

Peter
Sarah, hmmm…what is generosity? One of those things we really never ponder, do we? As I’ve evolved, I’m at the point where I feel generosity is my joyful obligation, and that I really don’t need/want/expect anything in return. Sure, it’s always nice getting something back, but that isn’t the motivation to be generous in the first place. Being generous starts with an appreciation for what it is you have to share. I’m a HUGE fan of appreciation. I have been given so much that I feel a need/want to give. I have come to trust that what I need will always be there if I just stop fighting the Universe and become a part of the flow. My responsibility to the flow is to be generous with all that I have to give, even if all I have at the moment is a smile or a kind word to offer. Chris Brogan doesn’t need me to spread his message, but I’ve reTweeted many of his Twitter posts because I have gained from his generosity and believe that others may benefit too. I am not expecting a phone call from Chris anytime soon, but I’m not looking for one, either. It’s all about giving and not expecting the phone call, the thank you note, or a favor in return. The funny part is when my focus is on giving I somehow receive an overabundance in return.
So for me, generosity is a personal responsibility to contribute whatever I can in hopes that my actions can contribute to the betterment of others. My blog isn’t about me, it’s about the message. The messenger is just that. And even if my generosity doesn’t move the needle, I can’t be concerned. My job is to give…and it’s really not a job at all, is it?
Thank you for YOUR generosity and sharing yourself with others. We are all better for the contributions that you make! You do move the needle!
Peter

Anonymous
Ah Peter. You address the subject so much more eloquently than I. And I think you are right. If we give and watch the needle at the same time, it really isn’t about the giving is it? It’s about moving the needle. Which is a different thing altogether.
And thank you for your kind words. They mean more than you know.

Peter
Sarah, hmmm…what is generosity? One of those things we really never ponder, do we? As I’ve evolved, I’m at the point where I feel generosity is my joyful obligation, and that I really don’t need/want/expect anything in return. Sure, it’s always nice getting something back, but that isn’t the motivation to be generous in the first place. Being generous starts with an appreciation for what it is you have to share. I’m a HUGE fan of appreciation. I have been given so much that I feel a need/want to give. I have come to trust that what I need will always be there if I just stop fighting the Universe and become a part of the flow. My responsibility to the flow is to be generous with all that I have to give, even if all I have at the moment is a smile or a kind word to offer. Chris Brogan doesn’t need me to spread his message, but I’ve reTweeted many of his Twitter posts because I have gained from his generosity and believe that others may benefit too. I am not expecting a phone call from Chris anytime soon, but I’m not looking for one, either. It’s all about giving and not expecting the phone call, the thank you note, or a favor in return. The funny part is when my focus is on giving I somehow receive an overabundance in return.
So for me, generosity is a personal responsibility to contribute whatever I can in hopes that my actions can contribute to the betterment of others. My blog isn’t about me, it’s about the message. The messenger is just that. And even if my generosity doesn’t move the needle, I can’t be concerned. My job is to give…and it’s really not a job at all, is it?
Thank you for YOUR generosity and sharing yourself with others. We are all better for the contributions that you make! You do move the needle!
Peter

Anonymous
Ah Peter. You address the subject so much more eloquently than I. And I think you are right. If we give and watch the needle at the same time, it really isn’t about the giving is it? It’s about moving the needle. Which is a different thing altogether.
And thank you for your kind words. They mean more than you know.

http://facebook.com/david.pancost David Pancost
Really deep question, Sarah. I’m sure my head’s gonna hurt after this.
To me generosity has more to do with size (giving more or doing more or a “generous helping of beans”), than it does with motive. I prefer the word benevolence. That word connects very much to motive.
A benevolent act is one that is strictly voluntary (involving no coercion) and comes from a desire to express appreciation or love toward the receiver of the act. There is never an expectation of return or quid-pro-quo from a benevolent act. The act is done and the actor moves on. I think this is why both you and I shudder when we hear of using benevolence or generosity as a “strategy”, because strings and expectations are attached to the “gift” thus removing any benevolence from the act.
For instance, over-delivering in a product or service is a generous act regardless of motive because you gave more than expected. Is over-delivering a benevolent act? Maybe and maybe not. It truly depends on your motive. Over-deliver in order to manipulate customer loyalty through unspoken demand for reciprocity? No benevolence. Over-deliver because you wish to give the best service or product that you can possible produce? Full of benevolence. Motive determines the difference.
Hope this all made sense. Distinctions like this keep me up at night (usually wondering about my motives).

Anonymous
Oh dear, David. I hope you didn’t lose too much sleep over this. I think your distinction make perfect sense.

http://facebook.com/david.pancost David Pancost
Really deep question, Sarah. I’m sure my head’s gonna hurt after this.
To me generosity has more to do with size (giving more or doing more or a “generous helping of beans”), than it does with motive. I prefer the word benevolence. That word connects very much to motive.
A benevolent act is one that is strictly voluntary (involving no coercion) and comes from a desire to express appreciation or love toward the receiver of the act. There is never an expectation of return or quid-pro-quo from a benevolent act. The act is done and the actor moves on. I think this is why both you and I shudder when we hear of using benevolence or generosity as a “strategy”, because strings and expectations are attached to the “gift” thus removing any benevolence from the act.
For instance, over-delivering in a product or service is a generous act regardless of motive because you gave more than expected. Is over-delivering a benevolent act? Maybe and maybe not. It truly depends on your motive. Over-deliver in order to manipulate customer loyalty through unspoken demand for reciprocity? No benevolence. Over-deliver because you wish to give the best service or product that you can possible produce? Full of benevolence. Motive determines the difference.
Hope this all made sense. Distinctions like this keep me up at night (usually wondering about my motives).

Anonymous
Oh dear, David. I hope you didn’t lose too much sleep over this. I think your distinction make perfect sense.

http://twitter.com/siontee Sion Gh
To me, the natural expression of a “happy&loving” Soul,heart,being …is to share itself ,to open up,to reach others just by Being Freely who He/She is.
It is nothing to do with the mind,nothing at all! It is the natural state of a content Soul who doesn’t even think of giving,it just happens effortlessly! Like a Flower gives her beauty&fragance to all,just by oppening her petals to the sun…
But of course Generosity will bump into people who don’t deserve her…but that it’s a long story!
Love

Anonymous
Sion – your creative writing is so beautiful. I do hope that is one of the 11 year old projects you are working on. Thank you for this.

http://twitter.com/siontee Sion Gh
Yes,you’re right,it is one of them!!!! Thank you very much Sarah for your appreciation,it means a lot to me!!!!
And thanks for giving us the opportunity, to play,run,jump,feel free,express… and enjoy in this beautiful garden that you have open, so generously, for us here.Thank you for giving us a safe space to be,express and create.
SMILES************************

http://twitter.com/siontee Sion Gh
To me, the natural expression of a “happy&loving” Soul,heart,being …is to share itself ,to open up,to reach others just by Being Freely who He/She is.
It is nothing to do with the mind,nothing at all! It is the natural state of a content Soul who doesn’t even think of giving,it just happens effortlessly! Like a Flower gives her beauty&fragance to all,just by oppening her petals to the sun…
But of course Generosity will bump into people who don’t deserve her…but that it’s a long story!
Love

Anonymous
Sion – your creative writing is so beautiful. I do hope that is one of the 11 year old projects you are working on. Thank you for this.

http://twitter.com/siontee Sion Gh
Yes,you’re right,it is one of them!!!! Thank you very much Sarah for your appreciation,it means a lot to me!!!!
And thanks for giving us the opportunity, to play,run,jump,feel free,express… and enjoy in this beautiful garden that you have open, so generously, for us here.Thank you for giving us a safe space to be,express and create.
SMILES************************

http://twitter.com/marksherrick Mark Sherrick
You absolutely can be generous and expect something to come back to you. Just not necessarily right then. You do something generous for another person, and you can reasonably expect that at some point in time, a generous act will be performed on/for you, probably by someone DIFFERENT and the world will balance out.
Is this a perfect thought? Heck no, there are way to many greedy folks out there who will gladly accept people’s generosities, and not offer anything in return at any point. Is the world at balance? Once again, heck no. BUT, there are still plenty of people out there who believe in generosity and are willing to do things for the benefit of someone else. Like Sarah says above, generosity is also its own gift to the giver in a way.
Generosity ties in with karma for me. The more you foster yours and work to keep it on the positive side, the more happy returns that you get. The more you screw with it and let it get negative, the more crap you do get.

Anonymous
and when are you starting your own blog to share these incredible insights, Mr. Sherrick?!

http://twitter.com/marksherrick Mark Sherrick
When I find an audience who wants one…and the time…and the money. lol. I’ve had many a blog over the years, and always struggled to find the audience. My marketing blog came the closest, but then I shot it in the foot by not updating it forever.
I’ve considered guest writing for blogs like LifeHacker, Dave’s Area 224, and so on – but right now deadlines are NOT my friend…so guesting is out.
What I am doing though, is trying to expand my commenting, like I do here on your site, generally more often during your series’ – commenting is kind of like widespread miniblogging, and if you can leave a link like you can with Disqus, it does come back to you eventually.
http://twitter.com/marksherrick Mark Sherrick
and yes, I know, I know, I should have just gotten my shit together on this one., as was the whole point of February. I will, this just wasn’t the right time. I will follow the advice left here, of course.

http://twitter.com/marksherrick Mark Sherrick
You absolutely can be generous and expect something to come back to you. Just not necessarily right then. You do something generous for another person, and you can reasonably expect that at some point in time, a generous act will be performed on/for you, probably by someone DIFFERENT and the world will balance out.
Is this a perfect thought? Heck no, there are way to many greedy folks out there who will gladly accept people’s generosities, and not offer anything in return at any point. Is the world at balance? Once again, heck no. BUT, there are still plenty of people out there who believe in generosity and are willing to do things for the benefit of someone else. Like Sarah says above, generosity is also its own gift to the giver in a way.
Generosity ties in with karma for me. The more you foster yours and work to keep it on the positive side, the more happy returns that you get. The more you screw with it and let it get negative, the more crap you do get.

Anonymous
and when are you starting your own blog to share these incredible insights, Mr. Sherrick?!

http://twitter.com/marksherrick Mark Sherrick
When I find an audience who wants one…and the time…and the money. lol. I’ve had many a blog over the years, and always struggled to find the audience. My marketing blog came the closest, but then I shot it in the foot by not updating it forever.
http://twitter.com/marksherrick Mark Sherrick
and yes, I know, I know, I should have just gotten my shit together on this one., as was the whole point of February. I will, this just wasn’t the right time. I will follow the advice left here, of course.

http://twitter.com/mayhemstudios Calvin Lee
Be nice, helpful, interact, retweet others, tweet gr8 info, be a resource to others, dont expect anything in return.
http://twitter.com/mayhemstudios Calvin Lee
Be nice, helpful, interact, retweet others, tweet gr8 info, be a resource to others, dont expect anything in return.
http://tomaplomb.blogspot.com Tom Aplomb
Generosity is not a strategy. It’s a philosophy, a way of life. A strategy is something you think up and implement, when needed, and alter as needed, to increase your chance of achieving a particular outcome in a specific situation. A philosophy is your core way of being, the way you act even when you know that acting that way will not increase your chance of, and may in fact prevent you from, achieving a particular outcome, because the needle on your moral compass does not always point directly towards the quick sale, the easy win, the lucrative exit strategy. The dark side of generosity is not generosity at all, it is nothing more than calculated greed.
Back around Valentine’s Day, I wrote a post about love and generosity, in response to Sasha Dichter’s inspiring move to make Valentine’s Day a day of generosity. Here is the link: http://tomaplomb.blogspot.com/2011/02/love-and-generosity.html.
http://tomaplomb.blogspot.com Tom Aplomb
Generosity is not a strategy. It’s a philosophy, a way of life. A strategy is something you think up and implement, when needed, and alter as needed, to increase your chance of achieving a particular outcome in a specific situation. A philosophy is your core way of being, the way you act even when you know that acting that way will not increase your chance of, and may in fact prevent you from, achieving a particular outcome, because the needle on your moral compass does not always point directly towards the quick sale, the easy win, the lucrative exit strategy. The dark side of generosity is not generosity at all, it is nothing more than calculated greed.
Back around Valentine’s Day, I wrote a post about love and generosity, in response to Sasha Dichter’s inspiring move to make Valentine’s Day a day of generosity. Here is the link: http://tomaplomb.blogspot.com/2011/02/love-and-generosity.html.
Ian F. Hood
Generosity is giving without expectations, perhaps not even recognition or a thank you (though it’s really disingenuous not to thank someone ). Giving that has any ulterior motive other than the joy of the gift itself isn’t true generosity, it’s manipulation to some degree. Also, there’s an art to giving, to knowing what is actually needed and not just what’s easiest to give. True generosity is when you (are willing) to go beyond just what is easy if that is what’s most needed.
Ian F. Hood
Generosity is giving without expectations, perhaps not even recognition or a thank you (though it’s really disingenuous not to thank someone ). Giving that has any ulterior motive other than the joy of the gift itself isn’t true generosity, it’s manipulation to some degree. Also, there’s an art to giving, to knowing what is actually needed and not just what’s easiest to give. True generosity is when you (are willing) to go beyond just what is easy if that is what’s most needed.
http://www.beatrizalemar.com Beatriz Alemar
Generosity should be something that is freely given – without any expectations or agendas in return. I believe in generosity – I’ve had so many people give so freely of themselves when I’ve felt there’s NO way I can do something to repay the help and support they’ve given me.
It’s very humbling. Because of those people, I want to give freely of myself. To pay it forward. To be someone those mentors, friends and associates can be proud of. That’s the biggest legacy of generosity – it exponentially impacts more people than the original two people through inspiration and goodwill.
http://www.beatrizalemar.com Beatriz Alemar
Generosity should be something that is freely given – without any expectations or agendas in return. I believe in generosity – I’ve had so many people give so freely of themselves when I’ve felt there’s NO way I can do something to repay the help and support they’ve given me.
It’s very humbling. Because of those people, I want to give freely of myself. To pay it forward. To be someone those mentors, friends and associates can be proud of. That’s the biggest legacy of generosity – it exponentially impacts more people than the original two people through inspiration and goodwill.
http://twitter.com/MarkHeartofBiz Mark Silver
I love this discussion. I think the most freeing definition of Generosity is something I’ve learned from my spiritual teachers. Generosity, al-Karim in Sufism, is one of the names of the Divine, and is a Divine quality, like Love, or Wisdom, or Mercy. What this means is that it’s not something I can create, but it’s something I can receive in my heart and then express once I’ve tasted it.
Which is an amazing way to experience generosity- as a downpouring of Source to all of our hearts. It also gives me relief when I’m feeling generous, for whatever reason, because I can then ask for it, and express it, more purely. It works much better for me than trying to “be” generous.
http://twitter.com/MarkHeartofBiz Mark Silver
I love this discussion. I think the most freeing definition of Generosity is something I’ve learned from my spiritual teachers. Generosity, al-Karim in Sufism, is one of the names of the Divine, and is a Divine quality, like Love, or Wisdom, or Mercy. What this means is that it’s not something I can create, but it’s something I can receive in my heart and then express once I’ve tasted it.
Which is an amazing way to experience generosity- as a downpouring of Source to all of our hearts. It also gives me relief when I’m feeling generous, for whatever reason, because I can then ask for it, and express it, more purely. It works much better for me than trying to “be” generous.
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Anonymous
I’ve been mulling this over for the past few days, wondering what insight I can offer, if any. I never thought of generosity given with an ulterior motive. To me it is simply an act of kindness from the heart. No agenda attached to it. A gift given in the spirit of love. And yes, it can (and usually does) come back in the form of reciprocal good Karma (thank you Mark Sherrick).
Wonderful post, Sarah, and excellent insights here in the comments.
Anonymous
I’ve been mulling this over for the past few days, wondering what insight I can offer, if any. I never thought of generosity given with an ulterior motive. To me it is simply an act of kindness from the heart. No agenda attached to it. A gift given in the spirit of love. And yes, it can (and usually does) come back in the form of reciprocal good Karma (thank you Mark Sherrick).
Wonderful post, Sarah, and excellent insights here in the comments.
Oceanstateexplorer
Caring about others as much as you care about yourself!

Escaping Mediocrity