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There and Back Again [Day 30 – 30 Days to Creating Irresistible Presence]

July 30th, 2010

Here we are – it is DAY 30 of 30 Days to Creating Irresistible Presence!  On Wednesday, my BFFs Allison Nazarian & ElizabethPW explain – well alot of things, but most importantly the secret to irresistible friendship.  And lucky you – today you get ME!

Today’s theme song: Natural Woman

There and Back Again

By Sarah Robinson

Wow. Here we are at Day 30 of 30 Days to Creating Irresistible Presence.

And what a journey the past 30 Days have been. Different for each of us but powerful just the same.

As a quick refresher, take a look back at Day 1. Some of you were here, some of you weren’t – and that is ok. But I want you to scroll through the comments to get an idea of where this all began.

To me it seems like a lifetime ago. (More about that in just a minute.)

First I want to tell you something about you.

Watching all of you over the past 30 days has been nothing short of astonishing.

I have intentionally stayed in the background of the conversations you were having because I never want the tribe to be dependent on me. And boy did you all rise to the challenge.

Such magical shifts, conversations and relationships have unfolded here – such a joy to watch.

As happened with 30 Days to Changing Your Game back in February, I am hoping that the relationships that many of you began here will continue long after this series is over.

And now I want to share with you a little bit about what the past 30 Days have been like for me. While I’ve been keeping with the blog posts, your comments and your journeys, I’ve been on my own journey – a physical, spiritual and emotional journey – with my family.

When you read this I will be somewhere over Iceland I think, returning from Russia with my husband beside me and our new fifteen month old son on my lap.

It will be the final leg of our second trip to Russia in three weeks; the third in six months.

While there are a handful of people who’ve known we are adopting, for the most part I’ve kept it very private. It is the biggest and most difficult secret I’ve ever kept from the Tribe.

My reasons for choosing this path are twofold:

The very practical facts are 1) there are about 1 billion points of failure with an adoption and 2) the Russian government isn’t exactly wild about public discussion of an incomplete adoption.

But there is more to it than that. And I think it really speaks to this whole idea of Creating Irresistible Presence.

I needed private, internal gestation time. Time when the idea of becoming a mom again was just for me and my family.

See, creating something real and true and irresistible, whether a business idea or a family, begins with a tiny thought or idea that needs shelter and protection so that it can incubate fully. Then when the time is right, it’s strong enough to reveal to the world.

And I’m betting that this 30 Day series has sparked an idea or two within many of you – yes?

Protect and nurture those ideas. Share them with trusted friends, supporters and mentors.  Give them time and space to grow. You need that time to cocoon up with your ideas so that they can take hold inside of you.

(And don’t be disappointed if not all of them do that – that’s just part of the process.)

Ah – but the one that does take hold – THAT’s the one that needs your attention and your love to grow into something strong and sustainable.

Give it all you have. Then one day very soon, you will announce it’s arrival to the world.

Now, as we close out 30 Days to Creating Irresistible Presence, I would love to know your biggest takeaway from this journey.  I never stop learning from you and am fascinated by all that you share.

It might be a favorite post, an ah-ha, a friendship, a comment, a business/life opportunity – or even one of the songs (you get brownie point for saying one of the songs – just so you know!).

So re-visit the person you were thirty days ago and share a little about who you are now.

While you are busy writing your usual brilliant comments, I plan on cuddling up with my biggest takeaway as we make the journey home. J

>Easy Peasy 3-pay Plan ends TOMORROW (Saturday)<30 Days to Creating Irresistible Presence is sponsored  by
Atlanta GA ~

Creating Irresistible Presence LIVE
~September 23 -25 ~

All-Star speakers announced to day include:
Andrea Lee, Elizabeth Marshall, Allison Nazarian and
Elizabeth Potts Weinstein
Grab your seat here:


Irresistible Friendship, Explained [Day 28 – 30 Days to Creating Irresistible Presence]

July 28th, 2010

This is Day 28 of 30 Days to Creating Irresistible Presence.  On Monday,  Michael Port showed us the importance of standing for Something. Today, Allison Nazarian and Elizabeth PW gives us GREAT insight on being and having irresistible friends. YAY!

Theme song: Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) by Green Day

Irresistible Friendship, Explained

by Elizabeth PW (@ElizabethPW) and Allison Nazarian (@allisonnazarian)

Irresistible Friendship, Explained As the ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle said,”Friendship is but a single soul dwelling in two bodies.”

The mates of our souls (these include both best friends as well as lovers), are those other people walking this earth with whom our energies resonate. We have some connection that is beyond the matching of our personality types or experiences – it is more. It is a connection between the truth of our souls, to those others who will help us grow, learn, reach the next plane of our existence.

Those of us who have experienced true friendship, whether of the kind that lasts for years or even for a fleeting moment, know this to be true. The connection, the ease with which you fall into your laughs and talks, the click that happens when you meet or are with someone who is truly a friend.

And just as there are different kinds of loves or relationships, so too are there different kinds of friends and friendships. People ask us a lot about our friendship, probably because it is so public and open. And regardless of the details, there are some universal truths when it comes to having a friend, being a friend and creating, together, an irresistible friendship.

To have a friend be one: Sounds simple, right? If you want someone to be there for you, you need to be that person for them as well. If you want to be respected, trusted, loved and appreciated by your friend (or by anyone, for that matter), there is really no “secret sauce” — be the kind of friend you want to have.

When a friendship isn’t working the way you want it to work or your friend is not acting or being in a way that you need or want them to act or be, look not at them and what they are doing/not doing, but instead look within: Is there something you could do better, less, more?

Water seeks its own level: This is one of our favorites. How do you find a friend? Call it energy, call it connection, call it something that doesn’t even have a name. Whatever you call it, you may not see it but you feel it and you know it is there (or not).

It’s a great feeling when you meet someone and you know beyond any doubt that this person is, maybe once was and certainly will be a friend. It feels easy and right.

On the other hand, when it’s forced, when it is all about drama or misunderstandings, when it is about constantly trying to fit a square peg in a round hole — it isn’t friendship. It is more about fear and those things that come from fear (insecurity, anxiety, the feeling of “I have to do this”) it isn’t coming from a place of being literally, figuratively and in every other way on the same wavelength.

If it doesn’t happen naturally or easily or in a way that seems right and positive, then maybe it isn’t meant to be.

To thine own self be true: Friendship is not about doing, doing, doing for others and neglecting yourself. In fact, just the opposite!

Friendship is about being in a space where you and your friend feel supported in taking care not just of each other but, even more importantly, of your own selves. It is about acknowledging your self-worth and making sure you have what you need not just to survive and live but to shine. Your friends will allow, encourage and even remind you to shine.

Give from the overflow in your saucer, not from your cup. We all can fall into this trap. We are caretakers, we are generous, we want to be nice and take care of the people we love – so we give, and give, and give, until we are empty and resentful.

Not only is that the way to deplete yourself into nothing, that’s not the way to be with your true friends, who understand that you first need to keep yourself full. We are all responsible for our own self care – and we give to others only from the overflow, only give energy to other from our abundance, not our need. And our true friends know & support us in doing so.

Judge not lest ye be judged. As INFJs, we can fall into this trap easily — judging others by our own standard of what is a good idea, what’s best for each other. But as a friend we have to let each other make mistakes, be foolish, fall down, fail. As a friend we are there to support & care for our friends when they do what we knew was not going to work.

And – we must not judge what would work for another soul. While we may be mates of each other souls, we are not the same person. We are not here to solve each other’s lives, we are not here to judge what is right for each other – we are hear to listen. To hold each other when it gets crazy. To share in the dizzying heights and the sickening bottoms. As painful as it is, sometimes all we can do is stand by the side, watch, and love.

So are you an irresistible friend? Have you found the mates of your soul with whom you can share parts of your life?

If not, here’s the secret – be yourself. From the beginning. When you meet someone, when you connect, be real, speak your truth, put your complete self on display from that very first moment.

Yes, many people will not resonate with you. And that’s fine and wonderful – better that they quickly move on to find their own soul mates.

But for those with whom you do connect, for those with whom you do resonate É you will find the most delicious, honest, real, powerful and amazing friendships, more than you ever thought possible. People who support you 100%, who create a safe space where you can be 100% yourself, who will stick by you when life turns you completely inside out and when everything is unbelievably amazing.

All you have to do is be your true self. First.

Who are you being in your friendships?

Are you being the friend you would want to have for yourself?

Elizabeth Potts Weinstein empowers solo-entrepreneurs to make a greater difference in the world and become more successful & fulfilled, by doing what is a natural extension of who they really are. She’s also a mom, attorney, author, speaker, coach, radio show host, twitter chat host, video blogging addict, tweetup connoisseur, aspiring adventurer, amateur pole dancer, people loving introvert, and truth evangelist.

Elizabeth inspires & empowers entrepreneurs to Live Their Truth in her blog at, on twitter chats, and via her programs on tribe building, video blogging, and finding your truth.

If you want to follow her on her adventures and learn how to find other like-minded people who are speaking & living their truth, find her at: or at

Allison Nazarian is a writer. Sometimes, people hire her to write marketing copy and to ghostwrite books, scripts, blogs and speeches. The rest of the time, she writes for women, moms, entrepreneurs and real people online and in print, including in her upcoming book “Love Your Mess™.” Allison is also developing “Write Your Mess™,” a program to teach and guide others to use writing as a way to make money, find their voice, figure stuff out or even just vent.

Allison holds a B.A. in English from the University of Pennsylvania and an M.S. from Columbia University’s Graduate School of Journalism and has been featured in the Wall Street Journal, INC, Entrepreneur and Fortune Small Business. She is the author of two books on do-it-yourself copywriting, including One Minute Copywriter and a monthly columnist for All of Allison’s writing can be accessed through her site at

Originally from the Washington, D.C. area, Allison is a walker, reader, football fan and someday-bookstore owner who lives a very messy life in Florida with her son, daughter and Black Lab.

30 Days to Creating Irresistible Presence is sponsored  by
Creating Irresistible Presence LIVE
~September 23 -25 ~ Atlanta GA ~

Andrea Lee, Elizabeth Marshall, Allison Nazarian
& Elizabeth Potts-Weinstein and ME!

>Easy Peasy 3-Pay Plan Vanishes on SATURDAY!<

To learn more, please visit

Stand for Something (or Someone Will Stand on You) [Day 26 – 30 Days to CIP]

July 26th, 2010

This is Day 26 of 30 Days to Creating Irresistible Presence.  On Friday, Barry Moltz gave us our marching orders on creating an irresistible personal brand. Today, my dear friend Michael Port shares an amazing post about why knowing what we stand for in this world is essential to our businesses, our lives and our irresistible presence. Read on!

Theme song: Stand! by REM:

Stand for Something  (or Someone Will Stand On You)

by Michael Port (@MichaelPort)

The world is an abundant place.

Yet we think and act as if we are threatened by scarcity at every turn. Often we behave as though we are engaged in a zero-sum game, where for every winner there’s necessarily a loser.

Sure, there’s some scarcity in the world.

Some species are facing extinction (maybe even us if we’re not more careful). We are told that oil and gas may be in short supply. But those aren’t issues of scarcity. We have created these challenges. We can solve them. We can better protect endangered species, because we are the threat, not some unknown or unknowable. It’s just a matter of changing our behavior. There is an abundance of solutions for improved fuel efficiency and alternative energy sources. We need only the will to act.

The only true scarcity in the world is our resistance to embracing our own true self, our hopes and dreams, our capacity to think big.

We’re all we’ve got, in the end. Resistance is futile (as they say). When we think small, we bury our true nature under fat layers of persona— professional, personal, Web-related, and other temporary disguises.

We become a doctor because our mother or father was one, and though it is a worthy career, maybe it is not the one we would have chosen. Maybe I want to be a professional rock climber or a cellist. Maybe you want to be a sculptor or a translator. But no one supports us in this calling. Instead of following what our instinct, our spirit tells us, we follow what others tell us to do. By resisting ourselves, we create our own condition of scarcity.

What do you resist in yourself? Don’t know? You must if you want to create an Irresistible Presence.

When we resist ourselves we create false scarcity: I’m not enough. I’m not as good as. . . [pick a name]. It’s too hard. There’s no time. I can’t start because I don’t know how it will end. When we focus on what we are not, what we do not have, and what we do not (and often cannot) know, we focus on a self-induced scarcity.

Each of us is naturally abundant. To exist is abundant. Look inside and see the glory of who you are—more than good enough.

Instead, we look outside ourselves for the externally generated justification and gratification we think we need in order to matter, to be important, but that we can never fully get from someone else.

We cannot (must not) wait for other people to tell us that we’re worthwhile.

I exist. You exist. We are. We are already important. We don’t need someone else to tell us so. We have something to offer the world. We are the person we’ve been waiting for.

We are the treasure we’ve been searching for. No one else can give us our true sense of self. That’s why it’s called self.

Creating an irresistible presence is a journey inward to our essential nature, to our core. It is not a matter of adding things, of becoming something else, of being a different person. It is not a matter of finding it. Just the opposite. It’s paring down, stripping away the excess. It is already there. It’s you. It’s me. Our core.

To be irresistible is to begin by letting go of what we don’t need—habits, attitudes, and beliefs that stand in the way of an irresistible presence.

At our core is that part of us that can never be destroyed no matter what is done to us. We can be beaten and tortured, tormented by others. We can lose everything we own. We can lose the love of our life. But there is a part inside of each of us that cannot be taken away. It is our core and it is rich and abundant—and it’s what others are irresistibly attracted to.

Nelson Mandela endured as much as any person can, and yet, after more than a quarter of a century behind bars, he emerged with a spirit of love and forgiveness. There could be no better model of the power of the core of a person to preserve its abundance, even in times of unimaginable scarcity. And that is what it means to think big. It is to understand that we need nothing except that which is inside each of us. We don’t need more to do more. We can do more with less. The only thing we need is to know our core.

Creating your irresistible presence is to be not the person prescribed by history, by society, or by the invisible panel of pseudopeers who contrive to rule through conformity. When you are irresistible, you simply are. You know the why of what you do. You walk the talk, always truthward-bound. To be truly irresistible is to be radically transparent. You are a person turned inside out, your core rendered visible.

I’m not saying it’s easy to know when you’ve whittled down enough to access your core. The core is an elusive entity. It is what we stand for. It is what we are about, what drives us to do what we do.

What do you wake up for in the morning? Does it fulfill you? Is it what you truly want to be doing?

Nor, once your core is identified, is it easy to expose it for the world to see. To let people know what we stand for is to lay ourselves bare, all those raw nerve endings reachable, touchable by others. It can make a person uncomfortable just to think about such vulnerability.

Yet here’s the paradox: To be so exposed is where our true strength resides. When we repress our dreams, thinking we have protected ourselves from getting hurt, from the power of others to adversely affect our lives, all we have really done is repress our dreams. We have wasted our resources on self-protection, and in the end it will never work. All that negative energy makes us weak. Our core is strong. Our core is founded on trust and truth and on love.

Creating an irresistible presence is not and cannot be a rebellious act. It is an empowerment, not a revolt. It is not a response to something; it’s not “I’m-going-to-show-them-just-watch-me-become. . . [fill in the blank].” To rebel is an action fueled by scarcity. An irresistible presence is ultimately about creating something, not simply revolting and rebelling against something in the past.

To change our future, we cannot be prisoners of our past. Rebellion is simply acting out in the present against something in our past history. We must not allow ourselves to be trapped by our history. Yes, we are necessarily shaped by our pasts, and, yes, we must learn from history (why repeat mistakes?), but we are in control of our future. It’s up to us to ensure that the past is not forcing us down a road not of our choosing.

Frederick Banting, who won the 1923 Nobel Prize in Medicine for his invention of insulin, said in his later years that if he had been more familiar with the literature and the long history of unsuccessful attempts to isolate the extract that he did ultimately isolate (along with his collaborators, Best, MacLeod, and Collip, as no great work is done alone), then he might never have undertaken the research he did.

Our capacity to do great things can never be measured by the past. The future is not bound by any precedents. As Randy Pausch writes in his book, The Last Lecture, “We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.” To create an irresistible presence is to choose our own destiny.

What things bind you to your past? Do you really need them, or are they holding you back?

To create an irresistible presence is an act of originality and creation, an act of abundance. It is finding that we already have the resources to do more, to make a better world. It is a willingness to express our ideals and ideas openly when necessary and the ability to listen to others.

As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” The closer to our core we travel, the more connected we are to what we stand for, the more energetic resources we will draw from the bottomless well of the human evolutionary reserves of self-trust and love. To live from our core is to stand for something, and that something is what is precious to each one of us.

You may be thinking—but what if I’m not 100 percent sure what I stand for? Or, what if I feel like I stand for a whole lot of different things? Of course, we all stand for lots of things, from racial equality to a more democratic access to education to animal rights—for truth, for reality, for kindness, for something.

At our core, we stand for one thing. It is the fundamental principle that fuels us, that resonates in every fiber of our being. Frederick Banting, whom I mentioned above, stood for helping others in crisis, and he died in the service of what he stood for, while bandaging the wounds of a Canadian air force pilot headed to World War II, in a plane carrying both men that went down off Newfoundland. The pilot lived to tell the tale. Banting could not save his own life.

What you stand for shapes how you live your life, how you treat others, how you run your business or career. It seeps into everything you do until it is seamless. People say, “Oh that’s so you.” It makes you irresistible.

Here’s a short list of things you might stand for: women’s rights, children’s rights, education, animal welfare, literacy, justice, equality, humor, freedom, independence, respect, meaningful communication, less suffering, a sense of community, comfort, health, green living, self-expression, possibility, excellence, happiness, love, love, love.

What about what you. . .why do you do what you?

Don’t intellectualize. When you over-think what you stand for, the energy leaks away. Your identity is driven by an inner passion, not a cold inner rationality. I’m not knocking rationality. It has its place, but it is not the core. Think molten core not frozen core. Once you have your why-you- do-it statement, you will know what you stand for.

There’s a reason why you do what you do. Why you want to give the people in your world what you have to offer, to serve those around you. What you stand for is often general. That’s okay. Once you can articulate the why of what you do, then you will achieve it all the better, because other people (most important, the people you want to serve) will get it. Or maybe they won’t at first. That’s why you have to live it. Because what you stand for is you, you will exhibit it in how you work and in how you live. That’s what it really means to walk the talk, to create an irresistible presence. People will be excited about what you do only if you are excited about it. People will believe in you and what you do only if you believe. We need to set aside our trepidation and step out.

It can be scary to stand for something big and to let people know. Not to mention the fact that if you really stand for something, then it’s not just words, it’s work. Thinking big is always backed by good hard work. And that’s scary, too.

I, Michael Port, stand for thinking bigger about who you are and what you offer the world. I want to think bigger in my own world and help others think bigger in theirs—after all, in the end we all live in the same world. Everything I do in my business and in my personal life is done with this ideology, this belief, at its core. I facilitate the Think Big Revolution. I run a business that helps others achieve remarkable (and meaningful) business success. On the personal side, my lifestyle is designed so that I can help my son Jake think big about who he is and what he offers the world. I train in martial arts and practice yoga to achieve a higher excellence in my control over mind and body, which in turn increases my capacity for handling adversity.

Bruce Katz, the founder of Rockport, married work shoes and running shoes to create his megabrand of walking shoes. With his shoes, he helped give birth to the fitness-walking movement in the early 1980s. Bruce Katz stands for walking comfortably.

LensCrafters philanthropic initiative, The Gift of Sight, sums up what the company stands for: Clear vision is a basic human right, not a luxury.

John Wood, the founder and CEO of Room to Read, has built a global enterprise working with rural villages to build sustainable solutions to their educational challenges. Inspired on a trek through Nepal in 2000, he quit his comfortable senior executive position with Microsoft to pursue his dream of helping those without resources gain access to education. His vision is to provide educational access to 10 million children in the developing world. Room to Read has already begun working in Nepal, Vietnam, Cambodia, India, Sri Lanka, Laos, South Africa, and Zambia. Wood stands for educational opportunity for all.

When we know what we stand for, we can achieve big results in our world, whether it’s building a giant brand, as Rockport and LensCrafters have done, creating a worldwide nonprofit, as John Wood did with Room to Read, or another less publicly visible goal.

Lisa Miller stands for helping women achieve their dreams. Her web address says it all: She knows about dreams. She worked hard to hang on to hers. Within a 10-month period in her life Lisa suffered the loss of her husband, her job, her home, and her dog, and she was in a car wreck that resulted in months of physical therapy. Lisa is an expert at healing and thriving in the face of adversity. As she says, “I’ve learned the ultimate level of success is the realization that you have everything you need right now, as you work toward goals and dreams. These two scenarios can coexist. If you’re not happy now, you’re not going to be happy when you have more money, purchase your dream home, or whatever goal you may have.”

Paul Griffin stands for empowering teenagers to become leaders and forces of positive change in their families and in their communities. In the early 1990s, when his aspirations for a career in acting stalled out, he conceived the idea of a program that would bring teens from all walks of life (the inner city and the suburbs, white, black, Hispanic, and Asian, teens in stable homes and teens in foster care, the wealthy and the less privileged) together to create an original musical based on their lives. Now a nationwide teen-led and teen-driven nonprofit pro- gram in seven cities across the United States with more to come and in Israel and Cape Town, South Africa, City at Peace is developing an important presence and authority in the youth development and arts program community. Paul found (and followed) his true passion.

You will (I guarantee you) be irresistible and succeed at a level you didn’t think was possible when you know what you stand for and you live it. You will be bold and extraordinary, just being you. Your voice will be heard, because it is authentic, because you are honest with yourself and with others, and it will be evident. When we stand for something, we are who we are, no matter what.

As Henry Thoreau so beautifully wrote, “If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. . . If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.”

What are your castles? What do you value above all else? What is the last thing you would give up, and why? What do you dream of? What is your perfect world?

For you to say everyday:

  • I will identify what I stand for through a concerted process of self-questioning and exploration to discover my core, the “what” that is so me.
  • I will make public what I stand for. I will hold myself visibly accountable each day to its letter and spirit.
  • And, as a result, I will create an irresistible presence.

Called “an uncommonly honest author” by the Boston Globe and a “marketing guru” by The Wall Street Journal, Michael Port is a New York Times Bestselling author of four books including Book Yourself Solid, Beyond Booked Solid, The Contrarian Effect and The Think Big Manifesto.

Michael is a Contributing Editor and writes a monthly column on sales and marketing for Entrepreneur Magazine and another one for American Express Open Forum. He can be seen regularly on MSNBC, CNBC, and NJN and receives the highest overall speaker ratings at conferences around the world. According to the average number of Google searches, Michael is the 5th most popular business coach in the world. Why? Because his mission is to rally you to think bigger about who you are and what you offer the world.

Learn more at

Like on Facebook /authormichaelport

Contact at [email protected] or 877-279-522

>Easy Peasy 3-Pay Plan Vanishes on Saturday!<

30 Days to Creating Irresistible Presence is sponsored  by
Creating Irresistible Presence LIVE
~September 23 -25 ~ Atlanta GA ~

Guest Speakers announced to date include: Andrea Lee, Elizabeth Marshall,
Allison Nazarian and Elizabeth Potts-Weinstein

To learn more, please visit

Creating Irresistible Presence Through Your Own Personal Brand [Day 23 of 30 Days to CIP]

July 23rd, 2010

This is Day 23 of 30 Days to Creating Irresistible Presence.  On Wednesday, Laura Roeder showed us the importance of being irresistible to our mentors. Today, Barry Moltz gives us GREAT direction on growing, polishing and protecting our unique irresistible brands. YAY!

Today’s Theme song: Unforgettable by Nat King Cole

Creating Irresistible Presence through Your Own Personal Brand

By Barry J. Moltz (@BarryMoltz)

These days, your career is all of to you because the definition “what a career is” has changed profoundly in the last few years. Long gone are the days when we graduated from college and worked for one company for 45 years before getting that golden watch when we retired. Gone are the days when we graduated from college to join a start-up to make our first million. You will no longer get your presence from a company. Now and in the future, you need to create your own irresistible presence.

Your career will be defined by a series of professional engagements and opportunities with many different people collaborating on a single project. You will no longer stand on one corporate brand in order to build your credibility and career. Today, establishing your own personal brand and identity is the critical link in order to pursue your passion and create that irresistible presence for a financially successful future. You alone are responsible for proactively growing, polishing and protecting your own irresistible brand.

1. Grow Your Presence: As you progress from opportunity to opportunity, you will build your reputation on your own web site, blog or through other social media tools like Facebook and Twitter. You will develop an active follower and raving fan base who will learn and collaborate. Regardless of what any professional employer assigns, you will keep your own email and cell phone number always. They will be the one contact point everyone will be able to find you. You will stay connected to all past associates as a way to look for resources for current and future opportunities.

2. Polish Your Presence: You will record your achievements on your blog or social media website for all to see what you have done. Your brand will be enhanced or diminished by the people and corporations you work and how you interact online with them. You will offer help to anyone that seeks it even if you do not know them.

3. Protect Your Presence– In the web connected world, every career is now built on trust and reputation. There is a new transparency where anything you do and anyone you meet will follow you on the web forever. We all believe more in recommendations from peers than main stream media or large corporations. You will treat all people you come in contact with respect because today’s vendor may be tomorrow’s customer.

You now have full control over your own career by building your irresistible presence. Isn’t that what you wanted?

What have you done today to grow and polish your irresistible presence?

Barry Moltz gets business owners growing again by unlocking their long forgotten potential.  With decades of entrepreneurial experience in his own businesses ventures as well as consulting countless other entrepreneurs, Barry has discovered the formula to get stuck business owners out of their funk and marching forward.  Barry applies simple, strategic steps to facilitate change for entrepreneurs, and gets them growing their business once again. Learn more about Barry and his newest book, Bounce!, at

P.S. If you aren’t already signed up and don’t want to miss out on  30 Days to Creating Irresistible Presence, please sign up here.

30 Days to Creating Irresistible Presence is sponsored  by
Creating Irresistible Presence LIVE
~September 23 -25 ~ Atlanta GA ~

JUST ANNOUNCED: Allison Nazarian & ElizabethPW have
joined the all-star cast of speakers!

>Easy Peasy 3-Pay Plan Vanishes in 8 Days!<

To learn more, please visit

The Greatest Gift You Can Give a Mentor [Day 21 – 30 Days to Creating Irresistible Presence]

July 21st, 2010

This is Day 21 of 30 Days to Creating Irresistible Presence.  On Monday, Charlie Gilkey offered up a wonderful post about how irresistible presence isn’t just for those with BIG personalities.  Today, Laura Roeder focuses our attention on how to create irresistible presence with a mentor. Mmmmmm…hot stuff!

Todays’ theme song is: Just Can’t Get Enough by Depeche Mode

The Greatest Gift You Can Give a Mentor

by Laura Roeder (@lkr)

I’ve been lucky enough to connect with some amazing people that I consider mentors. Though I may only speak with them once every few months, their advice has been invaluable in pushing me forward and achieving big leaps in my business.

No one wants to be irresistible in a vacuum. Interaction is inherent to the word – an irresistible dessert is one that begs to be eaten, not just admired. Being irresistible to clients is important, but I’m fascinated by something a bit more difficult to master – creating a presence that draws in high-level mentors.

People often ask me how I manage to connect with “big names”. How I’m able to make myself and my story stand out from the hundreds of contacts they might get a day.

I have to start by saying, I think most of the advice out there on how to get a mentor is flat out wrong. It doesn’t align with my experience at all.

The most common piece of bad advice I see is “see what you can offer them! help them with a connection that they need!”.

This sounds reasonable enough. Of course you should always help people out when you can by offering advice, resources and connections.

BUT I don’t know about you, but I’ve often found that the people I look up to are much better connected than I am! That’s sort of why they’re successful right? I wish I had some great corporate consulting clients for Gary Vaynerchuk up my sleeve but unfortunately I just don’t!

SO a lot of people go the route of offering some kind of service or help. Along the lines of “hey, I could film you when you’re in town” or “I could write a blog post for you” or share your expertise in some other way. Again, the intentions here are right-on. But again in my experience this is not the way to start.

Why? Because you haven’t proven yourself yet. The offering favors stuff comes down the road. I’m a guest expert in Eben Pagan’s new program Guru Blueprint and I’ve been able to help Cameron Herold on some of the ins and outs of selling information products online. BUT if I had approached Cameron cold telling him I have some great advice for him? Probably not the best in. Right off the bat the mentor doesn’t know who you are, and if anything you have to offer is actually valuable.

SO – that’s the bad advice, what’s the good? What can you do instead? What is the greatest gift you can give a potential mentor?

Your own success.

There is nothing more rewarding than knowing that someone has taken your guidance and run with it. Have you ever had some email you that they used a concept you shared in your blog and are now seeing big results? Do you pay attention to those emails? Do you cherish them? The people you look up to feel the same way.

If you’re lucky enough to get an audience with someone you admire, take their advice and report back to them on what you did. (This is also how you can get that “face time” in the first place – contact them and let them know exactly how they’ve helped you already. The more specific the better.)

Then check back in regularly with updates – what’s going on with your business, the big wins you’re having. Don’t expect a return phone call or email. Don’t ask for too much, but at the same time don’t be afraid to ask smart questions. (Smart questions are questions that you can’t easily find the answers to on google.)

Above everything else, the most important tip for finding a mentor is to be brave enough to take the first step. Even if you don’t think they’ll ever see it – pick up the phone, send an email, send a facebook message. Give them the greatest gift they could hope to receive.

Laura Roeder is a social media marketing expert who teaches small businesses how to create their own fame and claim their brand online. She is the creator of Creating Fame, Your Backstage Pass to Twitter and the Zero to WordPress trainings, and co-creator of Rich, Happy and Hot B-School.

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Become a Character in Their Stories [Day 19 – 30 Days to CIP]

July 19th, 2010

This is Day 19 of 30 Days to Creating Irresistible Presence.  On Friday, Jen Louden led our thinking toward how irresistible the truth really is (which I of course LOVE!).  Today, Charlie Gilkey continues that discussion as he turns our thoughts toward the importance of being real and focusing on others.  Your gonna love it. 🙂

Become a Character in Their Stories

by Charlie Gilkey (@CharlieGilkey)

When I was asked to write a post for this series, I was both excited and a bit concerned that I wouldn’t be able to write about how to create an irresistible presence because it’s generally not something I try to do. In a crowded space with so many people trying to be remarkable so that they can get other people’s attention, we already see a lot of Big Personalities, but that’s not really my thing.

There’s more to it, though, than it not being naturally who I am. So much of the effort expended in becoming remarkable, irresistible, and captivating causes people to lose themselves in the story they’re telling. It’s quite fascinating to talk to people who are fatigued from playing the character that they’ve created, when there was always the option of showing up as who they are instead of who they’re projecting.

Rather than trying to think about it in terms of being irresistible – which is largely about pulling people to you – think about what it would mean to become a fixture in other people’s worlds. It’s tricky business because, on the one hand, you can’t lose yourself in their stories, but on the other hand, you have to become a part of their stories.

Think of all the personalities in your world that you reference by their first names only. Those people are so fixed in your world that you don’t need a last name or any qualifying information. What’s more, when you think about something similar to what they do, their names pop up. When I think of comfort, I think of Jen (Jennifer Louden). When I hear the word remarkable, I think of Seth (Seth Godin). And so on. Even in those cases where those people aren’t the only person you think of when you think about a given idea, the fact still remains that in the cast of characters and the world you’ve created, those people are permanent fixtures.

The benefit of you being a part of other people’s world is that you exist to them even when they’re not reading your websites and books or watching your videos. You no longer have to work to attract them to you – you only need to keep doing what you do and they carry around your personae with them. I’d personally much rather be thought of when someone is struggling with getting their creative groove on than just when they’re a part of my world.

Thinking in terms of being a character in their world also helps remind me that the world is not all about me and what I’m doing. We’re interconnected and interdependent in very real ways, and this stage we’re on is so much more fun, rich, and meaningful when we recognize that we are a part of the play, but not the totality of the play. It can also be much more challenging, but I’d rather live by a challenging truth than a simple and false fiction any day.

One last thing about stories: most people are much more likely to share their own stories rather than yours because most people love to talk about what’s going on in their worlds. If you’re a part of their world, you get shared more often and more naturally than when you’re an artificial part of it. Better to be remembered off the top of someone’s head than to be something someone has to look for on a bookshelf or in their browser history precisely because the easier it is for people to share your gifts, the more likely that they will.

What have you done today to become a part of someone else’s story? A simple acknowledgment of their importance to you and an offer to hear their story and/or help them goes a long way.

Charlie Gilkey writes about meaningful action, creativity, and entrepreneurship at Productive Flourishing. Follow him on Twitter to get bite-sized slices of mojo and inspiration.

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The Irresistible Truth [Day 16 – 30 Days to Creating Irresistible Presence]

July 16th, 2010

This is Day 16 of 30 Days to Creating Irresistible Presence.  On Wednesday, Gini Dietrich gave us as fresh spin on The Golden Rule and why it is critical to irresistible presence. four ways to STAND OUT as a messenger/author w/ a powerful message. Today, Jen Louden sends us of into the weekend with a fab post about how being your true self is an essential foundation to your irresistible presence. Delicious!

Today’s Theme Song is Let Your Heart by Known by Steve Gold

The Irresistible Truth

by Jennifer Louden (@JenLouden)

Irresistible presence begins, and grows, by being irresistible to yourself.

The most effective and life changing way to do that?  Belly up to your truth and love what you discover.

By belly up your truth, I mean get intimate with what you know, moment by moment, to be true for you, and be willing to stand by it, sacrifice for it, and accept nothing less than a life lived by it.

And, in the process, love what you discover about yourself.

Because it won’t be all sweetness and accolades. When you live by your truth, you will be challenged daily.

  • Challenged to edit a blog post yet again because something in your body says it’s not quite accurate.
  • Challenged to give up a lucrative gig because of the company’s environmental impact.
  • Challenged to decline an invitation only event because you don’t jib with the other invitee’s work, even though they are all the “cool kids”.
  • Challenged to change your marketing copy because you’re promising more than you can honestly deliver.

But doing that alone won’t make you irresistible. Declining to beat yourself up for wanting to take the easy route with your post or wanting the big paycheck or wanting to hang with the cool kids (finally, I’ll belong!) is what will make you irresistible to yourself.

You put your arm around the parts of you that you would rather never see, let alone love, and you say, “I see you. Isn’t it a gas to be human? What can I do for you today to help you feel safe even as I insist we rewrite the post/give up that big job/decline the invite?

Being authentic is often framed as the ticket to 6 figure launches and endless blog comments. It can be – Andrea’s post is a great example – but if that is why you seek your truth, you will never find it, nor irresistibility, nor contentment. Grasshopper, you must seek because this is the way of your soul, the way of the grown-up, the way to become more fully who you are. Any thing else is gravy and ultimately, none of your business.

Seek to know your truth so you fit in your own skin, so you can find the energy to do good work in the world, so you can look yourself in the eye every night. Seek to live by your truth so that your self-love will be built on deep inclusion and respect, not empty affirmations and shiny vision boards. Seek to share your truth, respectfully, in hopes of bridging gaps and creating understanding.

How can you start today?

Set a timer for 5 minutes and, keeping your hand moving, explore the question: What is hanging on the edge of my consciousness that I’m now ready to be aware of?

When the 5 minutes is up, choose one thing you have written and take one action on it. Maybe you are now aware your nanny is no longer the best fit for your child, and your next action is to call the Waldorf pre-school to learn more about their program. Maybe you are now aware that you aren’t being completely honest with a coaching client, and your next action is to write out what you will share in your next call.  One awareness, one action: that is enough.

Living by your truth makes you irresistible to yourself because you are more at peace, more accepting, far less self-critical; you no longer send out mixed signals and try to be everything to everybody; you refuse to make weak offers or empty promises, most of all to yourself; and because you shine out a grounded, aware, grown up love.

How irresistible is that?

P.S. I know we could debate “What is truth?” and how warped our self-perceptions are until the cows come home – but let’s not. Living by your truth does not make you infallible or right or a saint, but it does make life a whole lot more fun.

Jennifer Louden helps people find the good so they never give up on themselves or each other. A best-selling author of six books, ontologically trained coach, speaker and retreat creator, and her newest project is the Satisfaction Finder.  Her favorite name is Lilly’s mom.


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An Irresistible Presence Grows As You Live the Golden Rule [Day 14 – 30 Days to CIP]

July 14th, 2010

This is Day 9 of 30 Days to Creating Irresistible Presence.  On Monday, Chris Guillebeau gave us the VERY simple formula for creating irresistible presence and WOW did you all move out to put it into practice!. Today, Gini Dietrich paints an amazing picture of the role GENEROSITY plays in creating irresistible presence. Read on!

Today’s theme song: Send Me on My Way by Rusted Root:

An Irresistible Presence Grows As You Live the Golden Rule

by Gini Dietrich (@GiniDietrich)

On June 30, Matt Lauer had Elizabeth Edwards on The Today Show to talk about life, family, her revised book as it comes out in paperback, criticism she’s received, and what she thinks about her ex-husband’s love child. Before seeing her interview, I’m not sure I would have been able to clearly articulate what creating irresistible presence really means. And then I watched her, with complete fascination and respect, as she answered tough, tough questions with confidence, class, and ease.

When asked if she regrets having married John Edwards, she said things didn’t turn out the way she would have hoped, but she didn’t regret her marriage. When asked about the criticism she received from the Edwards campaign office, she said didn’t realize the staff didn’t see her as an equal, but as the candidate’s wife, which put her on a lower playing field.

She also said knowing how she is perceived, as much as she wants people to like her, is really helpful in her own personal growth. When asked how she was feeling, she commented she’s on a new chemotherapy regimen and she hopes, the next time she is on television, it’s to talk about one of her passions. Not once did she badmouth the campaign staff, her ex-husband, or his mistress.

At the end of the interview, I posted on Facebook that I can only hope I am as humble and classy as she is, especially when confronted with conflict.  No matter what your politics, what you think about what she may or may have not known during the campaign, or what you think of the scandal, it’s pretty difficult not to respect and admire the way she has created an irresistible presence.

Creating Your Irresistible Presence

We live in a day and age that almost anyone can become a seemingly overnight sensation. With reality shows, social networking, self-publishing, blogging, and Internet radio and TV, the playing field is level and we have the opportunity to build ourselves into experts around our passions. With that come ego boosts and a heightened sense of ability, plus conflict and confrontation. It also comes with an immense amount of responsibility: A responsibility to ourselves, to our families, to our friends, to our colleagues, to our clients, to our competition, and even to our nemeses.

Our responsibility is to be our authentic selves without compromising our values. Yet many of us are scared to be human, to show our weaknesses and our flaws.  It’s scary…being yourself, especially if (like Elizabeth Edwards and me, too) you have a need to be liked.

I genuinely care about what people think of me and it really hurts my feelings when someone who doesn’t know me talks badly about me off- or online. But I am 100 percent true to myself and to my values and, though my feelings get hurt, that helps me focus on the positive relationships in my life.

And that is what creating your irresistible presence is all about. For me, it’s important I help others, I pay it forward as often as I can, I recognize the strengths in my network, I pump up people, I acknowledge everyone who comes into my world, and I never get too big for my britches.

How I do those things is pretty simple:

  • I am overly obsessed at answering every email I receive;
  • I respond to every tweet myself;
  • I read and comment on other’s blogs;
  • I respond to all of the comments on our blog;
  • I recommend people, blogs, and books I love;
  • I go out of my way to find one thing I have in common with people who pop into my online world;
  • I never say no (which I don’t recommend!); and
  • I recognize people publicly and privately consistently.

We are always eager to help those who have helped us without asking for anything in return. I’m a big believer in treating people the way you want to be treated and, if you do, you soon will emulate Elizabeth Edwards with a classy, humble, confident, easy presence others find completely irresistible.

P.S. If you’d like to see tidbits of the Elizabeth Edwards interview, you can see it on The Young Turks (pretty appropriate for Sarah’s blog, don’t you think??).

Gini’s Bio

Gini Dietrich is the founder and chief executive officer of Arment Dietrich, Inc., a firm that uses non-traditional marketing in a digital world. The company’s blog, Spin Sucks, is the 2010 Readers Choice PR Blog of the Year.

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The Secret Formula for Irresistible Presence [Day 12 – 30 Days to CIP]

July 12th, 2010

This is Day 12 of 30 Days to Creating Irresistible Presence.  On Friday, Lou Bortone gave us some great ways to build an Irresistible Brand (what we all want, right?!) and some AWESOME action steps for maximizing online video branding. Today, the one and only Chris Guillebeau gives us THE formula (seriously!) for Creating Irresistible Presence. This post alone is worth the price of admission. 🙂

Today’s Song is: Brass In Pocket by The Pretenders: (Chris let me pick – couldn’t help myself!)

The Secret Formula for Irresistible Presence

by Chris Guillebeau (@ChrisGuillebeau)

You’ve probably heard the secret to getting noticed: do something amazing! Do something remarkable! Then the world will be at your door.

Like a lot of general statements, there’s some truth in the be amazing theory. If you’re not doing something worth talking about, most people who don’t already know you won’t really care what you’re up to. The thing is, though, simply being noticed doesn’t take you very far. Celebrities and reality TV participants are noticeable, but we don’t always like them or want to emulate them.

To escape mediocrity and embrace excellence, you’ll want to pursue a higher goal: the goal of creating irresistible presence. To become irresistible, you have to be more than amazing—you have to be generous as well.

Here’s the formula:

Amazing + Generous = Irresistible

Being generous is all about giving. It’s about combining an internal compass with an external focus. You need the internal compass to guide your work. No one else can tell you what you’re about and what you should do. But the internal compass joins with an external focus that has you continually looking around and asking, “How can I make someone else look good? How can I create positive change?”

An external focus means you give more than you take; you reach out more than you bring in. “How can I help you?” is a good starter question to ask people with your external focus, but “Can I help you do x, x, or x?” is even better.

You’ll Never Be Irresistible to Everyone

Welcoming new members of your tribe—but also gently filtering, to make it clear who might be better served elsewhere—will help you cultivate the irresistible presence over time. Hopefully you’ll also wake up excited every day, eager to begin working on meaningful relationships and the craft that you love.

Are you being amazing and generous today?


Chris Guillebeau travels the world and writes for a small army of remarkable people at Follow his live updates from every country in the world at

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Creating an Irresistible Presence Starts with an Irresistible Brand! [Day 9 – 30 Days to CIP]

July 9th, 2010

This is Day 9 of 30 Days to Creating Irresistible Presence.  On Wednesday, Elizabeth Marshall gave us four ways to STAND OUT as a messenger/author w/ a powerful message. Today, Lou Bortone rounds out our week beautifully as he gives us some great ways to build an Irresistible Brand (what we all want, right?!) and some AWESOME action steps for maximizing online video branding. Great stuff!!

Creating an Irresistible Presence Starts with an Irresistible Brand!

By Lou Bortone @loubortone

Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.” – Robert Frost

Today’s theme song: “What’s love got to do with it?” – Tina Turner

Ah, to be irresistible…  To have that certain something that makes you impossible to resist.  Call it charisma, call it personality, call it attraction, allure, appeal… By any name it’s something we all long for.  Yet, when it comes to creating an irresistible presence in business, it’s something that can be elusive.

To develop an irresistible presence, you first must build an irresistible brand.  I know, easier said than done, right?   But the rewards of having an irresistible brand are well worth the effort.  A strong brand makes you unique and memorable, and helps you stand out and be heard in a sea of wanna-be’s and copycats.

So where do you begin your quest to build an irresistible brand?  A catchy slogan? A kick-ass website?  A cool logo?  A fabulous Facebook fan page?  Sure, those are all necessary ingredients, but they are only building blocks to developing a compelling brand.

Many small businesses have it backwards.  They rush to put up a website and have a logo designed, only to realize later that they have left out a crucial step:  How to distinguish themselves from their competition with a strong brand.

Oftentimes, entrepreneurs will contact me about creating a video to market their business, when they have yet to even define their brand.  While online video is an excellent tool for building a brand, you’ve got to have your foundation already in place.

Fortunately, as a “Book Yourself Solid” Certified Coach, I use some of Michael Port’s tried and true principles to help entrepreneurs create breakthrough brands that help them stand out from the crowd.  Here is the five step system I use when helping clients to create an irresistible brand:

  1. Develop a “who & do what” statement – The “who” is your target market and the “what” is the primary benefit they get from you.  For example, my “who and do what” is: “I help entrepreneurs build breakthrough brands on the Internet so that they can get more clients!”Whereas, my Uncle Vito’s might be “I help deadbeat debtors find their checkbooks so nobody gets hurt.” You get the idea…
  2. Define your “why you do it” statement – The “why” is the reason you do what you do.  It’s what you stand for.  It’s important because it’s what will attract the right clients to you. My “why” is: “Turning struggling entrepreneurs into Online Rock Stars!”  Uncle Vito’s why is to make sure his boss gets paid by any means necessary. To each his own!
  3. Focus on building relationships – Social networking and video are similar in that they are tools to help build relationships on the web.  You gotta give before you get!  Engage, contribute, share… Build your social capital and work on developing trust and credibility. When you put relationships first, social media can become a great resource for developing your online brand.
  4. Maximize social media and online video – Entrepreneurs can rapidly accelerate the branding process by using social media and online video strategically.  Make every tweet count.  And don’t stop with Twitter and Facebook.  Video is social, too! For example, YouTube has become an enormously powerful business tool for creating connections, demonstrating your expertise and enhancing your online visibility.
  5. Use Online Video to stand out and be noticed – As a long-time “video guy,” I’m especially partial to video as a resource to break out of the pack and be noticed.  Online Video builds an immediate connection and makes you memorable.  It enhances your online visibility and it works for you world-wide, 24/7.  Online Video is quickly becoming the ultimate brand-builder.

In fact, video is my favorite tool for creating and irresistible brand.  So, to help encourage you to take action and get started, I’ve listed five simple ways to tackle video marketing today:

5 Easy Ways to Take Action Now with Online Video Branding:

Pick the Low Hanging Fruit – Start with the easiest way to record a quick video.  Fire up your webcam and record a brief, 30-second welcome message for your website visitors.  Tell them who you are and how you can help them.  Keep it short and simple.  Done is better than perfect!  Repeat as necessary.

Got 12 seconds? – Good. Then go to and open a free account.  Turn on your webcam and talk for 12 seconds – no more, because that’s all they give you! is like Twitter for video. Brevity is a must; so just record a quick hello or a brief tip. Congratulations, you’ve done a video!  You can even share your 12 second video masterpiece to YouTube or social media sites.

I Stream, You Stream – We all stream at Ustream!  Video streaming, that is – also known as live webcasting., another free web resource, makes it possible for you to have your own web TV channel in a matter of minutes.  Open an account, grab your trusty webcam, and you can shoot video live and on the fly.  When you’re ready for viewers, Ustream lets you tweet your broadcast link to Twitter faster than you can say “Action!”

Flip Out – If you’re out and about or on the go, portable pocket cameras like the popular Flip Video camera make video a snap.  The Flip camera couldn’t possibly be any easier to use, and they’re fun, convenient and affordable.   For an even easier mobile solution, check your phone!  Many mobile phones have a video function, with Apple’s iPhone to be leading the way.  On my iPhone, I can now shoot, edit and upload video to YouTube in a flash. Amazing!

Camera shy? Not quite ready for your close-up?  That’s fine, because you can still create your own video message with little more than text and photos at  Animoto makes video quick and painless.  Just upload a few photos, add a bit of text, select some music from Animoto’s diverse collection, and you’re good to go!  Animoto does all the techie stuff, so you can have your own video montage in moments.

Now you’ve got no excuse not to revitalize your brand with online video!  Remember, with an irresistible brand, you’ve got the foundation for an irresistible presence.  And you gotta love that!

Lou Bortone is an Online Branding Specialist and video pro who helps entrepreneurs and coaches build breakthrough brands on the Internet, so they can have more visibility, credibility and profitability.  Lou’s clients get more business and make more money, because Lou assists them with innovative online branding strategies, including social media marketing and online video consulting.

Lou is a former television executive who worked for E! Entertainment Television and Fox in Los Angeles.  He is also an author and ghostwriter of six business books, a Certified Guerrilla Marketing Coach and a Book Yourself Solid Certified Coach.

Lou’s signature programs include “Online Branding Blueprint,” and “Video in a Day!”  His website is at


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