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Break Your Stalemate [Day 13 – 30 Days to Changing Your Game]

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Today is Dayย 13 of 30 Days to Changing Your Game. I don’t know about you but I think the air here positively crackles with energy whenever I open the blog. Awesome. Yesterday, Sandy Grason shared her brilliant B.A.L.L.S concept – what fun! Today, we are going to move into some active fun just a little bit as my friend Andrew Weaver reminds us about curiosity and trying new things. Perfect Saturday fare so read on!

Break Your Stalemate

by Andrew Weaver (@drewmaniac)

Remember when you were a kid and everything was within your reach?

When you were a kid it seemed the whole world was at your fingertips. You had larger than life dreams. You were always thinking about what you were going to be when you grew up.

When you were young you had a curiosity that was unmatched. You had an imagination that could envision yourself doing anything you wanted. You asked why, how, and where. You wanted to know and often you wanted to know now.

As you grow older you tend to lose that curiosity. Adolescence convinced you that you knew it all and a few more years under your belt convinced you that you would never know it all. So you become comfortable with what you do know. You entrench yourself in a willing stalemate. The music that is good is the music you grew up with as a child. The books that are good are the books you read when you were younger. The fast changing technology is too much for you to learn, so you remain with the old inventions you’ve always used.

Don’t believe me? How many times have you heard someone say, “Those computers are just too complicated for me?” If you have, then you’ve just met someone who has entrenched themselves into a willing stalemate in the game of life.

So what can you do? Break your stalemate and learn something new.

  • Grow a garden.
  • Learn the guitar.
  • Learn any musical instrument that interests you.
  • Listen to music you would normally not listen to.
  • Write about something you never write about.
  • Eat at a different restaurant.
  • Read a bio of someone you don’t know much about on Wikipedia (no, really).
  • Try cooking a meal you’ve never cooked before.
  • Take singing lessons.
  • Become an entrepreneur.
  • Try out a social media tool besides the typical Twitter or Facebook.
  • Read a genre of books you’ve never read before.
  • Go back to school.
  • Learn to ride a unicycle (feel free to laugh).
  • Learn a language.
  • Start a blog.
  • Visit a different country with the intention of learning their culture.
  • Learn to ice skate or roller skate.

This is a very short list of ideas. I’m sure you can come up with some of your own. The point is, there is always something new you can learn, try, or do. There is no reason you should ever find yourself at a stalemate in life.

Adulthood should not mean you lose your curiosity. It should not mean you stop asking questions. It should never mean you stop dreaming those larger than life dreams.

Does it mean you will always achieve those dreams? No. If it did, I would be a zoologist (even though I hated science in school) or a professional baseball player (even though I never had the talent to make it to college level). Those were two of my larger than life dreams. I didn’t fail at them. I just learned they weren’t for me. My curiosity moved to other things and different dreams. I learned and didn’t get caught in a stalemate.

Some very simple tips to help you begin to break your stalemate.

  • End the negative thoughts. Stop saying “I can’t” and “I will never.”
  • Start the positive thoughts. Start saying “I can” and “I will.”
  • Make a list of things you’ve always wanted to do, but never have. It doesn’t matter what it is or how impossible it may seem. Once you’ve finished the list, pick just two things you will do this year. Figure out a way and make it happen. Repeat this action next year and maybe even add more than two to accomplish.
  • It only takes about three weeks to establish a new habit. Challenge yourself to create new and positive habits as often as possible.
  • Keep a small notebook of some kind with you at all times. Ideas don’t always come at the best moments. When one does, write it down. Go back later and build on it.

And of what of maybe?

  • Maybe you’re wrong.
  • Maybe they’re right.
  • Maybe you shouldn’t try.
  • Maybe it’s a waste of time.
  • Maybe you will fail.
  • Maybe it’s too risky.
  • Maybe you won’t get the job anyway.
  • Maybe you shouldn’t care.
  • Maybe it is impossible.
  • Maybe it isn’t worth it.
  • Maybe it won’t work.
  • Maybe someone else will do it.
  • Maybe someone else will step up.
  • Maybe it’s not your place.
  • Maybe you shouldn’t speak up.

Maybe, but how will you know?

Remember when you were a kid and everything was within reach? It still is. This short video says it much better than me. It also has a better soundtrack. It was the inspiration for this post. It is addressing entrepreneurs specifically, but I think everyone can be a little inspired by the message. Enjoy these next couple of minutes.


Andrew Weaver
is a photographer, blogger, and self described social media geek. He has an interest in helping others improve their lives both personally and professionally. He authors the blog Leave It To Weaver and you can connect with Andrew on Twitter.

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  • Anonymous

    Notes to the Tribe for Saturday:

    1) Todayโ€™s theme song is: This Time Tomorrow by The Kinks: http://tinysong.com/6JG6
    2) If you like a post please RT it to share it with your Twitter community. Thank you!!
    3) If you are getting true value from this series, please make a small donation to 12for12kโ€™s Haiti campaign. Scroll down on the right of this page: http://emsite.temp.ronintech.io.64-207-185-195.koomohost.com
    4) If you have signed up to be on the email list (you get little extras from me), you MUST complete the double opt-in process to get them. Look for an email from me in your inbox or in your spam folder and click on the link inside it.
    5) I have set up a Face book Group for us: http://www.facebook.com/#/group.php?gid=246014862902
    6) I built a list on twitter of all the guest bloggers to make it easy for you to follow them: http://twitter.com/#/list/SarahRobinson/thirtydayguestbloggers
    7) There are also two twitter lists of participants in 30 Days. You will find them here: http://twitter.com/MirkoGosch/escapingmediocrity and http://twitter.com/The_Promo_Guy/game-changing

    Love,
    Sarah

  • For me, just hanging in there for each day of this challenge is something new for me. Truly. I’m breaking my stalemate just by being here.

    For so much of my life, I lived within the stalemate, even if I excelled within it.

    My commitment to myself is to adopt one suggestion from each of the folks who share their posts with us. Sometimes, it’s a baby step for me, like just absorbing whatever it is the point of the blogger of the day is. I expand my brain just for that moment; that concept. Other days, I’ll act – call someone, post a comment on a blog.

    Each incremental action, whether internal or external, is edging me out of the stalemate and into the fresh.

    Thanks for sharing! Best, M.

    • I think that is one of the most important keys to changing your game and breaking the stalemate. Hang in there. Everyday isn’t going to be a good day. Life isn’t always a bed of roses. Things happen that we cannot control and sometimes we much react (always as positively as possible) to those things. Hang in there and push through those difficult, dark days and eventually you will see the humdrum of life change. A huge part of breaking the stalemate rests in us understanding that if we will simply push through – things will eventually change. It always does.

      Out of curiosity, may I ask what was the “one suggestion” you were able to take away from this post? Thank you for reading and joining the conversation today!

      • Implementation. That’s my takeaway. I’m actually a naturally curious person. My [selective lack of] discipline and focus are my Achilles’ Heel. That’s why, for me, my consistent application of the tenets of this program is itself a breaking of a stalemate. I’ve actually done 7 of the recommended things on your “new” list, but some of them only halfway, so it doesn’t really count. I can speak French well enough to get through Paris, but that’s figuring in the universal translator of a sincere smile and the generosity of the French. ๐Ÿ˜‰

        My commitment to myself is focus. Consistency. Being thorough in each endeavor. My problem is that I lacked discernment in my endeavors, so I would get just enough knowledge to be dangerous, so to speak, but not effective. This is the year that I run things past the filter first, so that the activities I do choose are ones in which I’ve made the commitment to showing up every day. Long answer to your question. ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanks for asking it.

        • It sounds like you’ve taken one of the most difficult first steps. Identify those weaknesses and then figure out ways to improve them. I applaud you for that. Very few even get to that point. Now – follow through and keep doing things to break the stalemate! ๐Ÿ™‚

        • Wow – I do a lot of that too – (starting a bunch of projects but not finishing them) But hey – speaking French well enough to get through Paris isn’t bad! I have wanted to learn as many languages as I can for years now – but haven’t taken the time! Maybe I can put that on my list for this year!

          I also think you are really taking good things away from this – just by your statement that just showing up here every day to read and engage is breaking you out of your norm! Love it!

          • I was impressed with the ability to speak French to get through Paris too, Shelly. ๐Ÿ™‚ I’d be lost.

          • We had just come from Italy and I couldn’t remember the French for carbonated water. I was mentally blocked with Aqua Minerale Frizzante. However, from my days in radio, I *do* know how to make a water drop/bubble sound against my cheek. So I asked our server if he could bring us l’eau avec “ploink ploink” sound. It worked. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Great post Andrew! Something I need to read again and again as a reminder to keep moving forward! This is something I am also helping others with by starting a community on everyday miracles. Keep flowing these great ideas!

    Pam

    • Thank you! So glad you’re out there trying to keep this idea at the forefront and helping others break their stalemate!

  • Oh, maniacdrew … your message is so important. It has been so easy to get caught up in ‘stuff’ that pulls me further and further from the enchantment and wonder that once made each day magical and special.

    Each new year seems to bring new responsibilities ~ and while still capable of feeling joy, connection, fulfillment and happiness – it’s all experienced within the confines of the walls I’ve built between who I feel I need to be now (as a mid-40s, mother, wife, hard-working, etc. etc. etc.) and the little girl that used to pedal madly around the perimeter of her home on her beautiful red tricycle, belting out Tom Jones’ “Delilah” at the top of her lungs. (Yes, I was a strange child. It’s all part of my mystique.)

    I know I will feel a surge of inspiration shortly ~ but right now, I’m sitting in profound sadness for the weight I’ve been carrying for too long, and the playful aspects of myself that have been neglected for too long. Top priority for me for the remainder of this month – is to view each moment with the enchantment and magical wonder I once did … because if there’s one thing I know for sure – you always see what you believe exists … and I’m sure that little speedster on the trike would LOVE for me to just jump on the back and hang on for the ride of my life. (Thank you.)

    • May I make a suggestion? Start small. Change one thing you know you need to change and then use that as a stepping stone for the next. Trying to break the stalemate all at once only results in a lot of things that never get completed. Once you start making a change here and a change there, the stalemate will ease more and more. And of course, trying to maintain that childlike curiosity. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Thank you for joining the conversation!

      • Stepping stones, yes. I have the vision to see a big picture with all its steps along the way. And so, I seem to aim directly for the end goal EVEN THOUGH I KNOW THE STEPS ARE IMPORTANT. As a result, I’m feeling disappointed in myself three weeks into this year because so many steps have been noted and addressed – and completion seems elusive.

        One step at a time. One step at a time. One step at a time. I really need to redefine Overachiever – the definition I’m applying now is simply not working. Again, thank you …

        • jen.

          Sally, you just said exactly what I’ve been feeling! But I also have been feeling a little in awe of you and a few others here for your wisdom and engagement in this tribe. So I guess it’s all degrees of satisfaction – here I am thinking YOU are doing it right, and you are feeling similar to me about your level of execution.

          Oh, and you are lovely! I saw something in a Byron Katie video clip last night that felt good; the woman she was going through the Work with came to see that she had the best body in the world for her. I remember the profound sadness you mention from a yoga class years ago when I suddenly felt how mean I’d been to my body, which has nonetheless supported me astonishingly all my life. All I can do is begin from love, cherish this vessel as it is right now, and do the best I can in it from here. And for what it’s worth you are a light to me on this path.

          • Thank you Jen, you’ve touched my heart! See – I open myself up to magic, and the most iridescent fairy arrives!! It takes courage to speak up when it seems to work against your very nature. I know that’s why I love online opportunities like this ~ I can interact and share with people in a way I’d not be as comfortable doing if we were all physically present in a room as strangers.

            The fact that we’re here, to me, serves as an invitation to interact, speak and share. So I feel more welcome and less intrusive online than I would live and in-person. I also read in a book called ‘The Fire in the Soul’ by Joan Boryshenko that Vulnerability opens us up to Intimacy … and it is in the trust and spirit of intimate connection that true healing can happen.

            I’m grateful you feel safe with me — and that I am feeling safe with you and so many others. We’re like candles, each lighting up the other, and at points – the entire room is ablaze with our wonder and glory. It’s truly an awesome experience.

          • I love you and Sally for this. Your replies and comments remind me to breathe. In. Out. There. It really means the world to me.

        • Sally, I completely resonate with you on the disappointment about uncompleted steps. I have been the same way – had so many goals, dreams, plans for this new year, determined to do things differently. And I HAVE done things differently, but I tend to get discouraged about what I HAVEN’T done instead of celebrating what I HAVE done.

          So here’s to the steps that we HAVE accomplished!!!! Let’s celebrate that moving forward and continue to move forward one step at a time! ๐Ÿ™‚

          Glad to be on this journey with you – and thank you for sharing yourself in this tribe! I always enjoy reading your comments. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • Anonymous

      Sally, I can almost hear that surge of inspiration and creativity building up in you…and I can see pink streamers off the ends of your handlebars…

      • Thank you! I’m calling my brother now to demand he allow my participation in ‘Cops and Robbers’ – he used to only sometimes let me play. I’m actually really going to call him ~ he’ll think I’ve lost my mind … but he could use some time out for play too …

        • Anonymous

          Thank you Sally. I am calling my brother not to demand he let me play cops and robbers but to tell him I want to play cops and robbers with him. Our growing up together, well, we lightly joke and tell each other we walked into hell, got burned and scarred and walked out. It sounds overdone and all, but the reality is, we did. We were too bent on ensuring each other’s survival and our own that we didn’t play. So I am calling him to tell him I WANT to play cops and robbers with him. Build our relationship on a new level.

          • Anyone up for a pick up game of baseball on the sandlot later??? ๐Ÿ˜‰

          • Anonymous

            *waves hand in the air* pick me! pick me! Please oh please oh please! Pick me!

            *giggles*

          • As long as I get to pitch!

          • Anonymous

            k fine you pitch but I’m warning you……

          • If I’m too late to join in this game — I’d love to meet you all for wings and beer/whatever later!!

          • Anonymous

            oh no teams are just forming Andrew vs. Sarah. so far Im on Andrews team but last i heard Sarah was still compiling hers…

          • Yeah, Sally and I will be some[place fun eating foods with our fingers if they’re not made as finger food. It’s how we roll.

        • Anonymous

          So I did call my brother and like I figured he thought I was nuts, but then he got into it and we decided when me and the kids go to visit in the summer, we shall have a water gun cops and robbers game. Then after a bit of playful banter, he sent much love to me. Something he never does!!!

          • That is pure dead AWESOME!!! Oh my gosh, I’m covered in goosebumps. I’ve read that goosebumps are the Universe’s way of letting you know that something significant has just happened. My brother and I are going to play 21 (is that what it’s called when you take turns shooting a basketball into the hoop, and then try to block the other from being able to do so?). I have very poor hand/eye coordination … but I’m a mighty funny distraction ~ so while I won’t make any impact at all with my hoop-shooting – I’m guaranteed to make my colossal loss take forever!

          • 21 is fun to me. My wife and I used to play it on dates and just talk and whatnot. I think we need to get back to that… ๐Ÿ™‚

          • I love that idea, Andrew – shaking up the stalemate in Date Night with something fun, active, a little less ‘grown up’ and taking you back to where it all started.

            When my hubby and I were first married we hadn’t had a lot of dates (long story), so one of our favourite places to go was a lovely dark little tapas bar in Maidenhead outside of London. I’d gotten a boardgame called Atlas with cards asking all sorts of questions about every country. I chucked out the board and we took the cards with us, creating a drinking game using their yummy pitchers of sangria. Sure, we probably looked strange to others, but we laughed and learned and fell more in love. I’ve still got those cards and I think I might get them out tonight after the boys go to bed.

          • It’s great to see you already taking action! There’s no way you can be in a stalemate if you keep changing things up and trying new things like this. Inspiring. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Anonymous

      Sally, I completely understand the sadness you describe. That’s where I was for many years… the extra 5-10 lbs., having buried the playfulness of myself, etc… are such common themes. See if you can find even 5 or 10 minutes a day to begin with, and just start writing down anything you can think of that makes you happy, that brings you joy. And by that I do not mean your husband or your children. I say that because when someone asked me those things last year, my automatic response was about my sons and grandson. This person pushed me on it, and I realized that I needed to find what makes me as a woman happy. I had to learn how to love myself again… something that had gotten lost over the years (if I even ever really did it before).

      For so many years we are wives and mothers, and the woman we are – our individual identity – often becomes lost in all of that. Clearly our families are our lives in so many wonderful ways! But I realized that I had been someone’s wife and a mother for 27 years – more than half of my life – and “Lori” seemed to have gotten diluted along the way. I read a tweet by Allison Nazarian recently that was something about going someplace where no one would call her mommy or something along those lines. Can’t we all relate to that?

      Last spring I found a very simple workout DVD that was only 24 mins (my kind of workout!) and I did it 3-5 times a week. I made some very simple changes in my eating habits, and suddenly the extra weight was gone. With my increased workload at work from Oct. through the first of this year, I was honestly too exhausted by the time I got home to even do 24 minutes, so I only did it maybe 4 or 5 times in that 3 month period. I knew my clothes still fit, but I was terrified to get on the scale. But a week ago I did, and I had actually lost a little more weight!

      That’s when I realized it’s the internal work that I’ve been doing that’s really made the difference, in addition to the working out (ha – if you even want to call it that!) and the changes in my eating habits. And trust me, those changes are nothing drastic. I still eat pretty much anything I want any time I want, I just changed a few things around.

      If you want to talk more, email me at [email protected] and I’ll give you more specifics. Mainly, I got out of my head, which was a major barrier for me. I still have a long way to go in a lot of areas, but through so many people I’ve “met” recently, like you, I’m constantly inspired and learning how to move forward and make the changes I need to keep making to be able to achieve the things I want to achieve.

      Hugs, Lori

      • Wow Lori – I love how you put all of that into words! Great advice and I love that you figured out that it was the internal changes you made – not just the ‘external’ ones that mattered!

        • That’s a huge paradigm shift, isn’t it Shelly? When you recognize the degree to which you’ve given your power away to external elements that may not have served you as you’d hoped they would? I know when I finally became aware of this – everything changed.

      • I know exactly what you’re describing Lori. Years ago, I read a book by Elizabeth Berg called “The Pull of the Moon”. In it, the key female character sees a beautiful Journal and pen in a store window, buys it on impulse and then ‘leaves home’ for awhile, searching for her Self. She realized that she knew nothing about her own likes, dislikes, needs, etc. – and as a result, no one else did either. There’s a part in the book where she actually has a bit of a conversation with her Self. “Where have you been? I’ve been waiting for you.” // “I lay down bread crumbs on my path, so I”d find my way back. I got busy with life, marriage, kids – and when I turned back, the bread crumbs were gone…” I was in my 30’s when I read this book and I vowed then and there that I would not let that happen to me. It was a turning point in my life … and while I still have a long way to travel, I’m so grateful for the work I’ve done thus far …

        • Your book reminds me of the scene in Runaway Bride where the Julia Roberts character goes on a search to determine how she likes her eggs cooked. Until then she always went along with the eggs the way the man in her life liked them. She did not know which way appealed to her. The eggs were symbolic of the way her whole life had been lived-always making other people happy but not knowing what truly made her happy.

        • @Sally- Wow – what a great book…I’ll have to find it as that is something I’ve struggled with on and off for years.

          @Lori- Your stories continue to inspire me….thanks for sharing so much here!! P.S. Hope you don’t mind, I’m saving your email address, too!!

        • Sounds like a great book, Sally! ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanks for mentioning it – I just went online and placed a hold on it at my local library so I can pick it up later. Been needing a good book to read lately, sounds like this one will fit the bill perfectly! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Anonymous

    Love this. Thanks Andrew! Totally agree that we make it way to easy to get into stalmate and just let life pass us by.

    One of my favs I heard recently that seems to fit here is this question:
    When is the last time you did something for the first time?

    And as for the maybes… it reminds me of what I call what ifs and what if nots. We tend to think one-sided when it comes to big decisions or big changes in our life. We seem to automatically go to the what-if-nots like “what if it doesn’t work?” or “what if it doesn’t meet my expectations?”

    I encourage myself and others to open our minds to both sides of possibility and make sure to ask ourselves not only what if not but also what if. So whle you’re thinking what if not, why not also think what if… “what if it works out exactly like I envisioned it — or better?” or “what if it exceeds beyond my wildest expectations?” This is the winning and positive attitude that will help us all have the courage to take the risk and break the stalmate!

    Thanks again!
    Shannon

    • Love this: “When is the last time you did something for the first time?” Wish I’d thought of it. ๐Ÿ˜‰

      I agree – the “maybes” are very much like “what ifs.” I think considering a “what if” or a “maybe” is natural and even important to some degree. Everyone should consider every possibility. The problem becomes when we stop there. When we think of a “what if” and just stop because it seems to difficult to overcome is when we begin to allow ourselves into a willing stalemate.

    • I love your approach of asking “When is the last time you did something for the first time?” Doing and learning new things has always energized me. After 10 years as a Realtor, I needed something new to challenge me. I found a new aspect of my business that I had to really study to understand. Almost immediately I began to experience a new enthusiasm for my work.

      Social media has been that fountain of creativity for me for the last year. There are so many new and emerging ways we can reach out to our friends and clients. We can embrace our humanity and reach out, caring about the whole person, not just the small piece that relates to our business. Wonderful!

      • I think Shannon stumbled on a jem with that one. ๐Ÿ™‚ Diane, I found myself in the same situation here lately at my 9-5 job. No more challenge. It was boring me. I needed a change, but I felt like the timing was all wrong for getting a new job altogether. I think changing your outlook and searching for something new within your current field can be very important when it comes breaking your stalemate. A new job might not be the option – but a shift within your job may be perfect. Thanks for sharing your story. I know many others find themselves in this same predicament.

        • Thanks for your encouragement Andrew. I look forward to learning more about you. I appreciate the wisdom you have shared here.

    • I also love that “When is the last time you did something for the first time?” I need to really think about that! I don’t know the answer and I think that is telling!

    • Yes – new mantra! When was the last time you tried something new?

      You have inspired me. Today, at the farmer’s market, there was a group doing a zumba class. It looked like fun. I was certain if I did it, I would look like an ostrich on crack. Who the hell cares! I’m finding a class. I wanna do zumba! (I feel like Po in Kung Fu Panda. “I don’t wanna sell noodles! I love Kung FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!)

      • Anonymous

        I say go for it! I was going to take a salsa dancing class w/some friends a couple of months ago but we couldn’t make it work, so I need to check into that again. And I don’t even want to think about what I’ll look like, but like you so aptly put it, who the hell cares? I’m all over fun these days ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Vanessa, you should TOTALLY do Zumba!! I’ve been taking classes for over 2 years (not as regularly as I’d like, but still) and it is the most fun I’ve ever had in the gym. The best part? Most of the people don’t have all the steps down ‘perfectly’, the point is to let go, have fun and use your body. And man, does it burn calories!!

    • Shannon, I really enjoyed your thoughts on the What Ifs and Maybes and turning them into a POSITIVE question! Brilliant, and certainly great for helping to change focus. ๐Ÿ™‚ “What if it works out exactly like I envisioned — or better?!!” Love it – thank you!

  • Thank You Andrew! I am a firm believer that whenever I think I know, it is time to question my assumptions.

    • You’re most welcome! Thank you for stopping by and commenting.

  • Diane Easley

    A few years ago I stopped saying “I have to” or “I should” and started saying “I get the opportunity to” and it has made a world of difference in upping the excitement quotient for mundane tasks. Added benefit? Now a LOT more things that I really WANT the opportunity to do are a consistent part of my life. I feel like I can do anything and try a lot more “new” things. That little change has made a huge impact.

    • I like your style. ๐Ÿ™‚

      I do the same thing when I find myself getting stuck in the monotony that life can sometimes throw my way. It helps change my focus and outlook.

    • Anonymous

      Diane, that shift in thought has made SO much difference in my life. I used to limit myself or bring down negative energy with all those “shoulds” and “have tos” and worst, “can’ts.” It started when someone important in my life heard me saying, “I can’t do so-and-so.” He said, “No. You can’t do so-and-so YET.” Congratulations, and keep it up!!! YOU CAN!!!

      • Anonymous

        One thing we tell our clients “stop should-ing on yourself” When we get caught up in “I should” then we disempower ourselves and become a victim and slave to that. It also stifles our creativity and our authenticity.

        • I like this. A lot. Brilliant.

          • Anonymous

            Thank you. I actually have it posted in my office for my clients to see….

        • Should is a four letter word. Period. That’s it. That’s the list.

    • “I get the opportunity to” – WOW – I like that! I think I will start using that for my list for the year!

      I get the opportunity to write because I have stories to tell!! YEAH! I get the opportunity to work out because I am healthy! YEAH! I get the opportunity to learn a language – because I can! ๐Ÿ™‚ YEAH!

  • Anonymous

    What a terrific message, Andrew! I look at my little two-year old grandson and see all the possibilities for him and realize that anything is possible for any of us. (Funny, but it’s even easier to see those things in a grandchild than even in your own children – perhaps age and experience have something to do with it!)

    Last year I realized that if I just get really clear on WHAT I want, the HOW will take care of itself. Sure, it might not work exactly as I’d like, and it might be a total failure. But chances are good that life will still go on, and I can take any lessons learned for the next thing I try. But I want to try new things, take risks, and experience all that life has to offer. If I stay in the same stuck place, I won’t have the opportunity to do that.

    If you don’t break out of that stalemate, you could very easily get to the end of your life with a lot of regrets about “what if” and “if only.” I do not want that to happen to me.

    Thanks for sharing your wisdom. I know it’s appreciated by everyone here!

    Lori

    • Absolutely! I think one of the saddest things human beings do is look back and wish they would have taken a chance on this or changed that. It’s something I’m trying to make sure I don’t do myself.

    • I do think that figuring out WHAT you want is the hardest thing! The HOW may not take care of itself completely – but I agree – once you know where you want to go, you seem to ‘automatically’ make decisions that take you there!

      • Anonymous

        Well said, Shelly. Once you figure out the WHAT, your intuition seems to guide you to the resources you need to put the HOW into action. For me, it’s been about listening to that intuition again and getting out of my own way!

        • Intuition is great! I have always tried to listen to mine – and when I haven’t, I usually regret it! The getting out of your own way is a task I think MANY people need to do! So glad to see you and all the people here doing that!

      • Good point. Figuring out WHAT it is you want to do or should be doing can be a huge obstacle.

  • Anonymous

    Thank you, Andrew, this is a good reminder. Fortunately, I never really lost that curiosity. Even during those times when I was pretending to be an adult, it still thrummed away. And something on the video reminded me of a saying that within chaos is opportunity (I forget the origin; perhaps someone else knows.) I’ve lived it.

    • Good for you! I really haven’t either, but I see many who struggle with this.

      I think it’s – “In chaos, lies opportunity.” and I’m not sure who said it originally.

  • Anonymous

    Andrew
    Thanks for an inspiration to shake it up.
    Leaping into something totally new is essential to maintaining a flexible mind. Which is essential to creating anything.
    Taking up Irish flute music a couple years ago was a leap for me. Rather than reading notes off the page, it requires listening ever so carefully, mastering the tunes (and there are thousands!), and then working on speed and blending with the others in the session.

    Expanding a business in a whole new direction is another leap. It helps to have a history of leaping in over one’s head, don’t you think?

    All the best,
    Michael

    • Great suggestions. I think the most important thing to remember when anyone is coming up with something new to try and learn, is the possibilities are endless. My list, your list, and others could go on and on and on. There really is NO reason any of us should be caught up in a stalemate. There’s always something new you can learn.

    • Wow – I think mastering the irish flute seems even more amazing to me since I have NO musical talent whatsoever! I love your quote about leaping in over one’s head! They say that is the quickest way to learn to swim!

      • Anonymous

        Learning music is very doable, but it requires more time than talent.
        Lots of time.
        And listening.
        I think we can all benefit from more practice in careful listening.

        • SO TRUE! I learn that daily now with my 4 year old and have realized that I need to do the same! LISTEN… really listen… I think there are so many things we miss in life because we are distracted or busy doing other things and don’t stop to focus! Music is a really good example! Glad you found that! ๐Ÿ™‚

        • You’re starting to inspire me to learn an instrument. ๐Ÿ™‚ I am very music oriented and have always wanted to learn to play the guitar. Thinking I need to add it to my list…

          • Anonymous

            Great!
            Making music is truly a delight. It takes you into yourself and connects you with others.
            And wherever you are, there is very likely a community around just the kind of music you like.
            A word of advice: if you travel a lot, pick a small instrument, so you can take it with you.

          • That reminds me of a friend of mine. He learned harmonica and keeps it with him wherever he goes. He also tells people he learned the harmonica because he heard it makes you a good kisser. Haha… ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Great article! One of the things I’m doing this year is saying YES more often. When someone asks me to do something out of the ordinary, I usually have several good reasons why NOT to do it. This year, I’m looking for the reason to yes. A new fitness class on trampolines? Yes! Being interviewed on someone’s radio show? Yes! Starting a blog? Yes! Going to a movie I wouldn’t normally pick for myself? Yes!

    Just these small decisions have already allowed me to feel so much more in the realm of possibility. And that is a great place to hang out. Thanks for helping me know I’m on the right track!

    • Erin – glad to hear you’re already doing what you can to make sure you don’t get caught in a stalemate. Sometimes it takes us going outside our comfort zone in order to change things up.

    • I have been doing that myself! Saying yes, when my first instinct cries NO!! I have had some pretty good times and learned some cool stuff by doing that too!

      • When you say YES, I think it puts the powers that be on notice that you mean business! Good for you, Shelly!!

        • Just be careful. Saying YES too much results in you being tossed to and fro’. Saying NO when it really isn’t a good opportunity or something you should do is a good thing too. ๐Ÿ™‚ NOT to be a Debbie Downer or anything. Just have to know when to say no too.

          • VERY true Andrew! The things I say yes to are things like going to a play, going to a party, etc…

            (I came really close to becoming reclusive before I met my hubby, my job makes that easy – I can do it from anywhere at any time, so being home a lot became comfy! The movie “The Net” really hit home with me! :)) Anyway – since I met hubby – I have been saying yes to the things I mentioned before – social stuff!

            I would never say yes to something that I knew wasn’t good or right for me to be involved in at the time! I value being able to do the things I actually want to! ๐Ÿ™‚

          • Just realized I said “should do”, instead of “shouldn’t do.” I hate typos so I’m calling myself out. ๐Ÿ™‚

            I think you got the message anyway! Glad to hear it too. I figured you knew when to say when. I just wanted to make the point because so many just say ‘yes’ because they don’t want to make someone upset or they want to please everyone.

            “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.” ~ Bill Cosby

        • I like that concept, Erin, and I think you’re right…when you open yourself up to something new by saying “Yes” all sorts of other opportunities seem to magically crop up. I love that!!

  • Anonymous

    I agree so much! My husband and I are taking a French class starting in March and we’re both really looking forward to it. I want to start reading some other genres of books. As a magazine article/non-fiction writer who wants to break into fiction, I realized a while ago I needed to expand my horizons and read all different types of fiction. It’s exciting really. The possibilties truly are endless!

    • If you ever want any help on different genres to read – let me know! I read many different kinds of fiction and my ‘to read’ shelf is full right now (about 100 books!) ๐Ÿ™‚

      I love reading different styles – I have my favorites of course – but I enjoy most books that I read!

      • Anonymous

        LOL – Shelly, it sounds like you and I could start our own bookstore with all the books we have “to read”! And I just keep buying more ๐Ÿ™‚

        • My daughter and I just got back from the book store.

          Her: What are you doing?
          Me: Looking for a Title or Cover that catches my eye.
          Her: Don’t you already have a pile of books you keep saying you can’t wait to read?
          Me: Yes. You’re right. I think I have a compulsion.

          So, I only bought one …

          • Anonymous

            Oh good – another partner for our bookstore!

            There’s nothing like a child to give us a reality check, is there??

            When I was in CA in Nov., I bought so many books and had to pack them in my suitcase that I had to pay an excess weight charge for the darn suitcase! Pretty bad, eh?

          • I’m in on the bookstore. Former English Teacher checking in. My wish list on Amazon is more full than most people’s book shelves.

          • Anonymous

            Oh, I like the group we’re getting together! Any others? And a former English teacher? I can only imagine!

            I’ll go onto Amazon for ONE thing, and next thing you know, well, big boxes arrive with all kinds of goodies in them. I just wonder if I’ll ever be able to read all of the books I already have in this lifetime ๐Ÿ™‚

          • Count me in for the bookstore!! And the baseball game for that matter – I always back out of team sports for fear of looking like an idiot. I am telling you all (makes it more ‘real’), the next time that I’m invited to play, I will say YES!!

          • I definitely agree on the Bookstore! Of course, what is throwing a wrench in my world right now is the eBook! All my friends that I travel with have begged me to get one! LOL

      • Anonymous

        Thanks Shelly. What are your favorite styles?

    • One thing I have never done myself is learn another language. I’ve taken the time to nail down some basic Spanish because of my 9-5 job, but I really have never done that. Maybe I need to take some of my own advice? ๐Ÿ™‚

      It is great that you and your husband are taking the time to learn French. “Oui! Oui!” That’s all I know and it doesn’t even fit there. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • Stephanie, c’est magnifique! Quel plaisir vous aurez!! (That’s magnificent! What fun you will have!!) I’ve been learning how to use Twitter, how to make Video Blogposts, how to create Facebook Fan Pages — there are days when I feel too old for all the learning curves I’m striving to mount … but nothing beats the feeling you get from inside when you truly impress yourself with an accomplishment.

      Bonne chance avec les leรงons de franรงais! (Good luck with the French lessons!)

      • Anonymous

        Merci Sally! We’ve been to Paris 4 times now, absolutely love it, want to spend more time in France so figure we better learn to communicate!

  • Great Post Andrew! Thanks! I loved the you tube video. Seems every point made me raise my eyebrows… and your list of maybes – well I had been saying those a LOT over the last years!

    This last year was probably one of the worst years of my life for a multitude of reasons, but it was also a very great year for me too… I won’t go into the bad… but the good? My son turned 4, is getting logic down and can hold real conversations – I love that! My husband and I found ‘us’ again and learned that we are not just parents! ๐Ÿ™‚ Getting on Twitter was probably one of the best things I could have done – and I scoffed at the idea for a LONG time! I absolutely love ‘hearing’ cool thoughts and ideas and I have connected with some great people!

    I also came to terms with one of those things I needed to… When I entered college, I entered as a Pre-Med major… but I was young, I ‘partied’ and didn’t go to class – so I am sure you can imagine how that went… so I switched over to computers – that was easy (for me) got my BS and MS in Computer Science and that is what I do… but I have always felt that I should be a doctor… originally a surgeon (my mom is a Veterinarian and I always helped her with surgeries and loved it) – but know I am too old (hands won’t last long enough) but for a while there – I thought I could still go back to Med School… I went back to college to take all the classes in order to take the MCAT (still have 4 to go) – but then I moved to Florida for this job I have now… Very long story short (sorry) – When I moved down here, I had to make that decision this job or Med school and the deciding factor was that although I know I CAN go – I am not going to – because I am not willing to pay the price of being away from my family for all the days, weeks and years it takes to get through school, internship, residency, etc. (so med school is my grand dream that I know I am not willing to pay for)

    Also, for me, the greatest thing that came out of the year is I started to blog. I have wanted to write always. I have story idea after story idea written down, stuffed in folders or typed out on the computer and saved. I also have different stories written out – some a paragraph, some hundreds of pages… By writing the blogs (I have 2)… I started my creative juices flowing again… My personal blog post last night was about realizing that I am ready to start, to change, to get it going! So I am trying! I got a few things from your list – Actually took my son ice-skating last weekend for the first time – I think I was more scared than he was – but I went! broken nose and all! ๐Ÿ™‚

    And now – thanks to your post, I am adding 2 things to my list for this year – learn a language, and start working out again… (along with the writing and other stuff that I put on my list at the beginning of this series!)

    Thanks! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Anonymous

      Thanks for sharing your story, Shelly. It’s never easy to let go of a dream, but it sounds like you have a wonderful husband and son, and you are following dreams in other directions.

      We can all take a lesson from children – they have no fear of trying new things! And good for you for pushing past your fear and going ice skating ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Thank you, Shelly. I’m loving your participation in this discussion. Great insight.

      You know, we all have our ‘bad years’. I had about 3 in a row in the last 10 years. Looking back – that turbulence created opportunity for me (as the video says). I am always glad when I see people trying to push through. Sometimes it takes a nudge from someone and if my little, insignificant blog post can be that nudge – I’ve done my job. ๐Ÿ™‚ Stick with it and master those two goals, Shelly!

  • Andrew, I LOVE the video, thanks for sharing. I love your post, too, it created a mood of optimism, and of poetry for me. I’m so on your page – I have been shifting to positive ways of expressing my hopes and dreams, and making a commitment to my big vision. Why not? I might actually make it happen, in fact, about 90% of me believes I will.

    And Sarah, thanks for this series, because it’s pushing me even faster on my path, by encouraging me to articulate and therefore bring closer to reality the vision.

    • I’m glad it resonated, Linda. I first saw that video about a month ago and actually shared it on my blog when I did. I love it too! As a huge fan of music, I think the music with it is brilliant. Very inspiring message and music. The more I thought about it, I felt I needed to take its message a little further. When Sarah asked me to contribute to this series – I thought it would be the perfect time. ๐Ÿ™‚

      It’s wonderful to hear you shifting to a more positive way of looking at things. Without a positive attitude, it’s very difficult to achieve much of anything of value.

      I definitely thank Sarah for this series too! We should ALL thanks Sarah for doing this. I hope it’s helping everyone push through to achieve their goals and inspiring everyone along the way!

  • Anonymous

    I’ve just realised that last year I did two things I thought I coudl never do.

    I thought I couldn’t paint -then I found out about creating mandalas, and have had many hours of fun doing them.

    I thought I was too uncoordinated (and too old and too fat) to dance -then I found a wonderful teacher who has made me, 10 months later, able to line dance!

    Yay!!

    • Congratulations! Now, learn or do FOUR things you never thought you could/would do this year. ๐Ÿ™‚ Just keep learning and being curious about things. The kid you would. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Mandalas are so beautiful! I’ll bet aspects of your inner essence were visible in each creation …

      • Anonymous

        Sally – you are spot on!

        I was taught to focus on a person, a thing,a problem I wanted resolved – whatever – and to let the mandala develop and create itself.

        I learnt so much about “trusting the process” , listening, letting go of perfection, relinquishing control….

        And the mandala I created which was all about the energy, purpose, intention and possibility of Spiritus sits on my wall and inspires me whenever I look at it.

        (and this from someone who was told I was totally useless at art and could never be any good at it “because I was a scientist and mathematician!” She didn’t know about the geometric patterns of a mandala!)

  • jen.

    Andrew, your post has me thrilled with the possibilities! Excited at thinking of more, and pleased with myself (this is a really good thing for me) that quite a few of your suggestions were on my working list already.

    The one thing that triggered me, so I think it is what I have to work on, is riding a unicycle. I broke my ankle a decade ago, and experienced the wonder and astronomical cost of surgery. I luckily had insurance at the time, but the vagaries of Silicon Valley layoffs meant I got to see the copays in all their glory right after everything was healed and I had to use a chunk of my severance paying them off! The upshot is that now, ten years older and again uninsured, I am playing it very safe, realizing that I can indeed be broken. So my immediate reaction was, “Well, I can’t do that one.” Then I thought, “maybe not right now, but I have always thought hang-gliding would be amazing!” And instead of feeling trapped and stupid and irresponsible and inept for not having insurance, I started getting excited about having a reason to pursue insurance, not just another dreaded “should.”

    So thank you for this! I will be picking up the violin and viola again (haven’t since high school), starting a blog, reading bios of many, plotting travel and education and entrepreneurial beginnings…likely all at once. And maybe I will be amazing.

    • Awesome, Jen. ๐Ÿ™‚ Just stay focused on getting out there and always learning, trying new things, and keeping it interesting. The real test isn’t today. The real test is a tomorrow, a week from now, and months down the road. Stick with it and keep your curiosity.

    • How easily we beat ourselves up for no other reason than we found ourselves in a learning opportunity the hard way! Several Challenge Days back (it was the finances one), Teresa guest commented on behalf of the blogger because he was unavailable when his blog was posted. Something Teresa commented on a Tribe Members comments will stay with me forever. IAMNOWHERE – some see I Am Nowhere (I did, at first) … we can also choose to see I Am Now Here. I can’t even begin to tell you what a difference that has made in my own heart since reading it. A true A-Ha moment.

      So, I am now here – and you are now here. And the truly empowering thing about this is … we can choose any direction we please and we’ll always be Now Here, free to course correct or carry on as self-assessment and circumstance allows.

      Today, my Now Here saw me in a Tea Room in a Buddha Temple, eating Noodle Vegetable Soup with chopsticks. I usually ask for a fork and spoon – today, I did not. I’m sure I was the source of amusement amongst the chopstick experts in the Tea Room ~ my daughter even asked why I was trying, ‘How often do you have to use chopsticks anyway?’ I told her I’m going to learn something new as often as I can ~ starting right here, right now.

      You’re awesome Jen — keep believing in yourself. We all know how wise an investment that is …

      • Love the chopsticks story, Sally! ๐Ÿ˜€

  • Andrew, I love this post!

    Itโ€™s so easy to fall into a state of โ€œmaintainโ€ โ€“ do what you need to do to keep things moving along and forget to enjoy the journey.

    Itโ€™s also far too easy to let others get in the way of the everyday wonders. You know who Iโ€™m talking about: the nay-sayers, the Eeyores, the people who are โ€œtoo coolโ€ or โ€œtoo matureโ€ or โ€œtoo busyโ€ to stop for a moment and see the world through the eyes of a child. They’re the ones who donโ€™t marvel at the colors on the back of a dragonflyโ€™s wing. They donโ€™t hear the whispers of the trees when the wind blows, or stop to smell the honeysuckle. They donโ€™t care why bubbles float, or how to say grapefruit in French, or how to make an origami crane. They think youโ€™re too old to try a new career, or to learn an instrument, and theyโ€™ll be sure to tell you, even if you donโ€™t ask them. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    I try to avoid these people, when I can. Theyโ€™re like a stick in the spokes on a downhill bike ride. Let them distract you for just a second and BANG! โ€“ youโ€™re on the ground amidst the wreckage staring at the sky through one madly spinning wheel.

    Iโ€™m endlessly curious. I love learning new things. My challenge falls on the OTHER side of this spectrum, the one where I need to get things done and instead Iโ€™m looking up the names of Saturnโ€™s moons or learning how to create a video. My take is I need to get a little more deliberate about my curiosity โ€“ pick one or two things and run with them, instead of trying several different things at once.

    Iโ€™d like to write, to learn how to make stained glass and to learn more about web design. Iโ€™d like to get better at playing guitar and singing (purely for my own amusement, and possibly for the amusement of my dog). Iโ€™d like to get better about seeing challenges as opportunities. And thatโ€™s just the start of my list. As I said, I think I need to take it step by step. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    I saw the movie โ€œJoe versus the Volcanoโ€ at an impressionable age. (Side note: I can count on both hands the number of people who actually admit theyโ€™ve seen the movie, and I can drop back to one hand for the number of people who admit they liked it.) Even so, this quote stuck with me through the years:
    “My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know. Everybody you see. Everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake and they live in a state of constant total amazement.”

    Now I donโ€™t know how it would feel to live in a state of constant total amazement – I imagine it might be exhausting, to be completely honest – but I do want to live my life open to wonder and possibility. I want to be amazed from time to time. And I never want to lose my sense of curiosity. And even though I know itโ€™s not necessary, every once in a while itโ€™s nice to have someone come along and give you permission to dream, to question, and to actually take the time to learn or to try something different. So thank you.

    • Anonymous

      I absolutely love that quote….it’s amazing!!

    • “Itโ€™s also far too easy to let others get in the way of the everyday wonders. You know who Iโ€™m talking about: the nay-sayers, the Eeyores, the people who are โ€œtoo coolโ€ or โ€œtoo matureโ€ or โ€œtoo busyโ€ to stop for a moment and see the world through the eyes of a child.” – You said this better than I ever could. I love it.

      You are spot on, Mickey. That “Joe vs. The Volcano” quote is excellent too. I don’t even know that I could add to what you have said. I’m just sitting here nodding my head in agreement. It’s comments like yours that makes the comment section far better than the original post.

      Bravo! Bravo!

      • You, sir, are far too kind. Your post really inspired me, as you can tell, so don’t you dare sell it short! And thanks again. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Joe vs the Volcano – I do believe that is one of my brother’s favourite movies of all time. No kidding. He had three copies of it … so there’d always be one when the other wore out from being watched. Your ‘stick in the spoke of a bike wheel racing downhill’ is an excellent image. I call those people Speedbumps – but your visual has much more POP. Spoke Sticks arrest your attention IMMEDIATELY – my Speedbumps simply force me to slow down, reassess, regroup, and move on. I’ve been blessed to have taken very few tumbles courtesy of Spoke Sticks … and I’ll bet you never sit in the spinning wreckage for long. Loved your comment!

      • It’s always great to find another Joe vs. the Volcano fan out there . Please give your brother my best – after all, the five of us need to stick together. ๐Ÿ˜‰

        And I really like your image of speedbumps – not quite as violent and sometimes you can avoid them. And every so often you benefit from slowing down a little. Thanks!

    • Wow, Mickey! From your list of new things to learn & do (I did a double take for a minute thinking I was reading my own journal) to your love of ‘Joe vs. the Volcano’ (how bout this? I loved that movie so much that I actually owned it!!), I was right there with you!!

  • Anonymous

    ok so there’s a lot in this post to respond to that resonated with me. First, stalemate…since i left my husband four years ago, I have been on a journey out of stalemation. I was in a marriage where I was locked away. So I was forced by circumstances to get out and do it. With no option to fail. However, old habits die hard and I did have options (and old patterns) to break out of. Stalemation. And the end of 2009 and beginning of 2010. I underwent an intense internal processing time. The result of it is, I was dissatisfied with where I was and wanted more. So I am once again completely revamping things esxternally and more importantly internally in 2010. Kicking stalemation in its well deserved heinie.

    “I had a dream…” But seriously I did. This dream was birthed in me when I was 11 years old. The outcome? This year I am turning that dream into reality. So the video was integral for me to see and sent shivers down my spine. For as I do this, I am realizing I am an entrepreneur. My business idea has NEVER been done before, it will be a first. What struck me about the video is the last bit when it lists the impact an entrepreneur has ie-changing lives, creating jobs etc etc. In the busyness of getting this up and running, I had forgotten my WHY I am doing this. To make money etc etc? Sure. But first and foremost to change lives. And I did the calculations, this could change 600 lives in Canada per year and as it has the potential to hit the states that would be around 3000 lives per year. That is my WHY. And that utube video brought me back to the roots, back to my love in this and back to my inspiration in this which brought about a sense of renewed energy.

    Thank you for the spine-tingling shivers….

    • Anonymous

      Kristie, you are truly an inspiration. I totally understand the divorce and journey you have been on. Now follow that dream that you’ve had since you were a little girl, and having figured out your “WHY,” you will rock it!

      Congrats to you on being brave enough and smart enough to follow your heart.

      Lori

      • Anonymous

        Thank you Lori. What you said reminds me of a quote: “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.” -Winnie the Pooh

        • Kristie, thank you so much for sharing. I wish you all the best on your journey. I know you’ll be able to do it and to do it well, and I can’t wait to hear all about it. And what a great quote!

    • To have a business venture that has not yet been implemented, and to reach the lives in the numbers you’ve listed ~ all of it is very exciting!! Not to mention what you’re modelling to your children along the way, that sometimes it’s not about what Life sends your way … but in how you orchestrate and execute the recovery. I’m on Team Kristie for sure!!

      • Anonymous

        yay I have a team!!!!

    • Thank you for sharing your story with us, Kristie. The spine tingling is on me. Don’t mention it. ๐Ÿ˜‰

      Keep pressing through. As I said an in an earlier comment, the real test isn’t today. The real test of your will and drive will be tomorrow, the next week, and the coming months. You’ve figured out what you want to do. Now press through and get it accomplished.

  • sarahrobinson

    Notes to the Tribe for Saturday:

    1) Todayโ€™s theme song is: This Time Tomorrow by The Kinks: http://tinysong.com/6JG6
    2) If you like a post please RT it to share it with your Twitter community. Thank you!!
    3) If you are getting true value from this series, please make a small donation to 12for12kโ€™s Haiti campaign. Scroll down on the right of this page: http://emsite.temp.ronintech.io.64-207-185-195.koomohost.com
    4) If you have signed up to be on the email list (you get little extras from me), you MUST complete the double opt-in process to get them. Look for an email from me in your inbox or in your spam folder and click on the link inside it.
    5) I have set up a Face book Group for us: http://www.facebook.com/#/group.php?gid=2460148
    6) I built a list on twitter of all the guest bloggers to make it easy for you to follow them: http://twitter.com/#/list/SarahRobinson/thirtyd
    7) There are also two twitter lists of participants in 30 Days. You will find them here: http://twitter.com/MirkoGosch/escapingmediocrity and http://twitter.com/The_Promo_Guy/game-changing

    Love,
    Sarah

  • For me, just hanging in there for each day of this challenge is something new for me. Truly. I'm breaking my stalemate just by being here.

    For so much of my life, I lived within the stalemate, even if I excelled within it.

    My commitment to myself is to adopt one suggestion from each of the folks who share their posts with us. Sometimes, it's a baby step for me, like just absorbing whatever it is the point of the blogger of the day is. I expand my brain just for that moment; that concept. Other days, I'll act – call someone, post a comment on a blog.

    Each incremental action, whether internal or external, is edging me out of the stalemate and into the fresh.

    Thanks for sharing! Best, M.

  • Great post Andrew! Something I need to read again and again as a reminder to keep moving forward! This is something I am also helping others with by starting a community on everyday miracles. Keep flowing these great ideas!

    Pam

  • Oh, maniacdrew … your message is so important. It has been so easy to get caught up in 'stuff' that pulls me further and further from the enchantment and wonder that once made each day magical and special.

    Each new year seems to bring new responsibilities ~ and while still capable of feeling joy, connection, fulfillment and happiness – it's all experienced within the confines of the walls I've built between who I feel I need to be now (as a mid-40s, mother, wife, hard-working, etc. etc. etc.) and the little girl that used to pedal madly around the perimeter of her home on her beautiful red tricycle, belting out Tom Jones' “Delilah” at the top of her lungs. (Yes, I was a strange child. It's all part of my mystique.)

    I know I will feel a surge of inspiration shortly ~ but right now, I'm sitting in profound sadness for the weight I've been carrying for too long, and the playful aspects of myself that have been neglected for too long. Top priority for me for the remainder of this month – is to view each moment with the enchantment and magical wonder I once did … because if there's one thing I know for sure – you always see what you believe exists … and I'm sure that little speedster on the trike would LOVE for me to just jump on the back and hang on for the ride of my life. (Thank you.)

  • shannonshort

    Love this. Thanks Andrew! Totally agree that we make it way to easy to get into stalmate and just let life pass us by.

    One of my favs I heard recently that seems to fit here is this question:
    When is the last time you did something for the first time?

    And as for the maybes… it reminds me of what I call what ifs and what if nots. We tend to think one-sided when it comes to big decisions or big changes in our life. We seem to automatically go to the what-if-nots like “what if it doesn't work?” or “what if it doesn't meet my expectations?”

    I encourage myself and others to open our minds to both sides of possibility and make sure to ask ourselves not only what if not but also what if. So whle you're thinking what if not, why not also think what if… “what if it works out exactly like I envisioned it — or better?” or “what if it exceeds beyond my wildest expectations?” This is the winning and positive attitude that will help us all have the courage to take the risk and break the stalmate!

    Thanks again!
    Shannon

  • I think that is one of the most important keys to changing your game and breaking the stalemate. Hang in there. Everyday isn't going to be a good day. Life isn't always a bed of roses. Things happen that we cannot control and sometimes we much react (always as positively as possible) to those things. Hang in there and push through those difficult, dark days and eventually you will see the humdrum of life change. A huge part of breaking the stalemate rests in us understanding that if we will simply push through – things will eventually change. It always does.

    Out of curiosity, may I ask what was the “one suggestion” you were able to take away from this post? Thank you for reading and joining the conversation today!

  • Thank you! So glad you're out there trying to keep this idea at the forefront and helping others break their stalemate!

  • ramartijr

    Thank You Andrew! I am a firm believer that whenever I think I know, it is time to question my assumptions.

  • Implementation. That's my takeaway. I'm actually a naturally curious person. My [selective lack of] discipline and focus are my Achilles' Heel. That's why, for me, my consistent application of the tenets of this program is itself a breaking of a stalemate. I've actually done 7 of the recommended things on your “new” list, but some of them only halfway, so it doesn't really count. I can speak French well enough to get through Paris, but that's figuring in the universal translator of a sincere smile and the generosity of the French. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    My commitment to myself is focus. Consistency. Being thorough in each endeavor. My problem is that I lacked discernment in my endeavors, so I would get just enough knowledge to be dangerous, so to speak, but not effective. This is the year that I run things past the filter first, so that the activities I do choose are ones in which I've made the commitment to showing up every day. Long answer to your question. ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanks for asking it.

  • Diane Easley

    A few years ago I stopped saying “I have to” or “I should” and started saying “I get the opportunity to” and it has made a world of difference in upping the excitement quotient for mundane tasks. Added benefit? Now a LOT more things that I really WANT the opportunity to do are a consistent part of my life. I feel like I can do anything and try a lot more “new” things. That little change has made a huge impact.

  • May I make a suggestion? Start small. Change one thing you know you need to change and then use that as a stepping stone for the next. Trying to break the stalemate all at once only results in a lot of things that never get completed. Once you start making a change here and a change there, the stalemate will ease more and more. And of course, trying to maintain that childlike curiosity. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Thank you for joining the conversation!

  • lorilatimer

    What a terrific message, Andrew! I look at my little two-year old grandson and see all the possibilities for him and realize that anything is possible for any of us. (Funny, but it's even easier to see those things in a grandchild than even in your own children – perhaps age and experience have something to do with it!)

    Last year I realized that if I just get really clear on WHAT I want, the HOW will take care of itself. Sure, it might not work exactly as I'd like, and it might be a total failure. But chances are good that life will still go on, and I can take any lessons learned for the next thing I try. But I want to try new things, take risks, and experience all that life has to offer. If I stay in the same stuck place, I won't have the opportunity to do that.

    If you don't break out of that stalemate, you could very easily get to the end of your life with a lot of regrets about “what if” and “if only.” I do not want that to happen to me.

    Thanks for sharing your wisdom. I know it's appreciated by everyone here!

    Lori

  • Love this: “When is the last time you did something for the first time?” Wish I'd thought of it. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    I agree – the “maybes” are very much like “what ifs.” I think considering a “what if” or a “maybe” is natural and even important to some degree. Everyone should consider every possibility. The problem becomes when we stop there. When we think of a “what if” and just stop because it seems to difficult to overcome is when we begin to allow ourselves into a willing stalemate.

  • You're most welcome! Thank you for stopping by and commenting.

  • It sounds like you've taken one of the most difficult first steps. Identify those weaknesses and then figure out ways to improve them. I applaud you for that. Very few even get to that point. Now – follow through and keep doing things to break the stalemate! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • I like your style. ๐Ÿ™‚

    I do the same thing when I find myself getting stuck in the monotony that life can sometimes throw my way. It helps change my focus and outlook.

  • I love your approach of asking “When is the last time you did something for the first time?” Doing and learning new things has always energized me. After 10 years as a Realtor, I needed something new to challenge me. I found a new aspect of my business that I had to really study to understand. Almost immediately I began to experience a new enthusiasm for my work.

    Social media has been that fountain of creativity for me for the last year. There are so many new and emerging ways we can reach out to our friends and clients. We can embrace our humanity and reach out, caring about the whole person, not just the small piece that relates to our business. Wonderful!

  • Stepping stones, yes. I have the vision to see a big picture with all its steps along the way. And so, I seem to aim directly for the end goal EVEN THOUGH I KNOW THE STEPS ARE IMPORTANT. As a result, I'm feeling disappointed in myself three weeks into this year because so many steps have been noted and addressed – and completion seems elusive.

    One step at a time. One step at a time. One step at a time. I really need to redefine Overachiever – the definition I'm applying now is simply not working. Again, thank you …

  • Absolutely! I think one of the saddest things human beings do is look back and wish they would have taken a chance on this or changed that. It's something I'm trying to make sure I don't do myself.

  • laurieboris

    Thank you, Andrew, this is a good reminder. Fortunately, I never really lost that curiosity. Even during those times when I was pretending to be an adult, it still thrummed away. And something on the video reminded me of a saying that within chaos is opportunity (I forget the origin; perhaps someone else knows.) I've lived it.

  • laurieboris

    Sally, I can almost hear that surge of inspiration and creativity building up in you…and I can see pink streamers off the ends of your handlebars…

  • Liked the post. LOVED the video (even though I’m Canadian). Both resonate very deeply with what I am doing right now… on which subject, more soon… and more importantly, with what I’ve been telling some good friends lately who seem very stuck in I Can’t loops.

    Many of you will doubtless have seen it already, but I’ll leave you with this:
    http://chrisguillebeau.com/3×5/turn-around-and-say-watch-me/

    • Hey Tobias- I love Chris Guillebeau’s AoNC website…it is inspiration (and a bit of a kick up the bum) on a daily basis! Look forward to reading about what you’re doing right now…

    • Yeah, that video isn’t exactly international in the example it gives, but I still think America’s founding fathers can be inspiring to everyone. The overwhelming odds they had to overcome and the vision they had as a whole can be inspiring.

      That photo is awesome. I actually had not seen it. I thank you for directing us to it!

      Good luck on your current project, Tobais!

  • laurieboris

    Diane, that shift in thought has made SO much difference in my life. I used to limit myself or bring down negative energy with all those “shoulds” and “have tos” and worst, “can'ts.” It started when someone important in my life heard me saying, “I can't do so-and-so.” He said, “No. You can't do so-and-so YET.” Congratulations, and keep it up!!! YOU CAN!!!

  • I think Shannon stumbled on a jem with that one. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Diane, I found myself in the same situation here lately at my 9-5 job. No more challenge. It was boring me. I needed a change, but I felt like the timing was all wrong for getting a new job altogether. I think changing your outlook and searching for something new within your current field can be very important when it comes breaking your stalemate. A new job might not be the option – but a shift within your job may be perfect. Thanks for sharing your story. I know many others find themselves in this same predicament.

  • michaelleiter

    Andrew
    Thanks for an inspiration to shake it up.
    Leaping into something totally new is essential to maintaining a flexible mind. Which is essential to creating anything.
    Taking up Irish flute music a couple years ago was a leap for me. Rather than reading notes off the page, it requires listening ever so carefully, mastering the tunes (and there are thousands!), and then working on speed and blending with the others in the session.
    <cr>
    Expanding a business in a whole new direction is another leap. It helps to have a history of leaping in over one's head, don't you think?
    <cr>
    All the best,
    Michael

  • Thank you! I'm calling my brother now to demand he allow my participation in 'Cops and Robbers' – he used to only sometimes let me play. I'm actually really going to call him ~ he'll think I've lost my mind … but he could use some time out for play too …

  • Thanks for your encouragement Andrew. I look forward to learning more about you. I appreciate the wisdom you have shared here.

  • Good for you! I really haven't either, but I see many who struggle with this.

    I think it's – “In chaos, lies opportunity.” and I'm not sure who said it originally.

  • Great article! One of the things I'm doing this year is saying YES more often. When someone asks me to do something out of the ordinary, I usually have several good reasons why NOT to do it. This year, I'm looking for the reason to yes. A new fitness class on trampolines? Yes! Being interviewed on someone's radio show? Yes! Starting a blog? Yes! Going to a movie I wouldn't normally pick for myself? Yes!

    Just these small decisions have already allowed me to feel so much more in the realm of possibility. And that is a great place to hang out. Thanks for helping me know I'm on the right track!

  • Great suggestions. I think the most important thing to remember when anyone is coming up with something new to try and learn, is the possibilities are endless. My list, your list, and others could go on and on and on. There really is NO reason any of us should be caught up in a stalemate. There's always something new you can learn.

  • lorilatimer

    Sally, I completely understand the sadness you describe. That's where I was for many years… the extra 5-10 lbs., having buried the playfulness of myself, etc… are such common themes. See if you can find even 5 or 10 minutes a day to begin with, and just start writing down anything you can think of that makes you happy, that brings you joy. And by that I do not mean your husband or your children. I say that because when someone asked me those things last year, my automatic response was about my sons and grandson. This person pushed me on it, and I realized that I needed to find what makes me as a woman happy. I had to learn how to love myself again… something that had gotten lost over the years (if I even ever really did it before).

    For so many years we are wives and mothers, and the woman we are – our individual identity – often becomes lost in all of that. Clearly our families are our lives in so many wonderful ways! But I realized that I had been someone's wife and a mother for 27 years – more than half of my life – and “Lori” seemed to have gotten diluted along the way. I read a tweet by Allison Nazarian recently that was something about going someplace where no one would call her mommy or something along those lines. Can't we all relate to that?

    Last spring I found a very simple workout DVD that was only 24 mins (my kind of workout!) and I did it 3-5 times a week. I made some very simple changes in my eating habits, and suddenly the extra weight was gone. With my increased workload at work from Oct. through the first of this year, I was honestly too exhausted by the time I got home to even do 24 minutes, so I only did it maybe 4 or 5 times in that 3 month period. I knew my clothes still fit, but I was terrified to get on the scale. But a week ago I did, and I had actually lost a little more weight!

    That's when I realized it's the internal work that I've been doing that's really made the difference, in addition to the working out (ha – if you even want to call it that!) and the changes in my eating habits. And trust me, those changes are nothing drastic. I still eat pretty much anything I want any time I want, I just changed a few things around.

    If you want to talk more, email me at [email protected] and I'll give you more specifics. Mainly, I got out of my head, which was a major barrier for me. I still have a long way to go in a lot of areas, but through so many people I've “met” recently, like you, I'm constantly inspired and learning how to move forward and make the changes I need to keep making to be able to achieve the things I want to achieve.

    Hugs, Lori

  • My daughter is 5 and I am amazed by her all the time. She can do anything. She’s a painter, a writer, an illustrator, a soccer girl, a chef. She serenades her stuffed animals on a ukulele. There is nothing she can’t do because she honestly believes she is perfectly capable of it. If I could bottle that…Your point is so dead on. We lose this. We convince ourselves that we’re too _________, or not _____________ enough. Thank you so much for the reminder to have the can do attitude. I’m breaking out my guitar for dummies and grabbing that thing that’s sat in the corner just looking pretty! I might try my hand at painting!

    • So glad I could help nudge you to break out that guitar and hand painting, Vanessa. You know, one thing that is amazing about some of the things we’re talking about here (learning a musical instrument, learning another language, writing more, etc.) is they can all be hobbies (or much more) that help us focus more. They give us time to think. They help us reflect more on life. They help get the creative juices flowing. It’s something a child has no problem with, but as adults we do forget the value of these things sometimes.

      For me, just working out or taking a walk can help get me going creatively. I’ve outlined many blog posts while on the treadmill or walking in my neighborhood.

      Thank you for your contribution here and participation!

  • Anonymous

    Ok – as captain of the OPPOSING team, I am here to recruit my teammates. Our uniforms will be killer as will our team cheer. We will win simply on awesome points. Who’s in?!

    • Anonymous

      sorry im on the other side

    • Dude, I’m out. Sally and I are going to be at the bar with finger food strategizing an epic food fight. I hope your uniforms are a dark color. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Awesome. We won’t keep track of innings played. We’ll just play until our moms yell for us to come in for dinner! ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Anonymous

        EXCELLENT!!

      • Anonymous

        Andrew we are in trouble its just me and your on your team and Sarah’s getting a ton of players

        • Nah, we’re not in trouble. I can bring some of my tribe and we’d be good. ๐Ÿ™‚

          • Anonymous

            ok then…Let’s Bring It!

    • As long as Young Turk is the bench coach and inspirational speech giver, I’m in.

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  • Erin – glad to hear you're already doing what you can to make sure you don't get caught in a stalemate. Sometimes it takes us going outside our comfort zone in order to change things up.

  • Wow – I do a lot of that too – (starting a bunch of projects but not finishing them) But hey – speaking French well enough to get through Paris isn't bad! I have wanted to learn as many languages as I can for years now – but haven't taken the time! Maybe I can put that on my list for this year!

    I also think you are really taking good things away from this – just by your statement that just showing up here every day to read and engage is breaking you out of your norm! Love it!

  • I was impressed with the ability to speak French to get through Paris too, Shelly. ๐Ÿ™‚ I'd be lost.

  • Wow Lori – I love how you put all of that into words! Great advice and I love that you figured out that it was the internal changes you made – not just the 'external' ones that mattered!

  • StephanieCorum

    I agree so much! My husband and I are taking a French class starting in March and we're both really looking forward to it. I want to start reading some other genres of books. As a magazine article/non-fiction writer who wants to break into fiction, I realized a while ago I needed to expand my horizons and read all different types of fiction. It's exciting really. The possibilties truly are endless!

  • Jack of all trades, master of none – that’s me. I love learning new things, but rarely have enough time to get exceptionally good at much of any of them. Trying new things is always a great idea, but I’ve never really tried something new just because I hadn’t done so recently.

    I think being HERE amongst all these wonderful people in our 30 days to change our game is my stalemate breaker – I didn’t come here just because I could. I didn’t come here just because Sarah rocks. I didn’t come here for no reason. I came here to change my game.

    Thank you, to you all. Not just Sarah, not just the other authors, EVERYONE.

    • Mark- That. Was. Awesome. You just gave me goose bumps…thanks and back atcha (even when I don’t reply, your comments are always making me think long after I navigate away from the page). Like you, I think it’s the special combination of Sarah, her List of amazing peeps and, most importantly, all of the others in the Tribe that are helping me change my own game one thought, one step, one smile at a time. Cheers!!

      • Thank you Writergrrl.

        If I replied to every comment that made me think, I’d have a reply to every post that has been made since our program started, so don’t worry about not commenting…your words this once are more than enough.

        I consider myself lucky in that I knew a lot of Sarah’s cohorts before these posts all began, but to be here in general is beyond amazing. Seeing everything happen as we all go along, even the threads not participated in is an inspiration, one we all need, and we came here to find.

    • Glad to hear you’re here to change your game, Mark. NOW, the real challenge is going to be 30 days after the first 30 days. In other words, we have to maintain the change. It’s a change not just for a little while, it must be a lifestyle change. I think that has to be stressed to everyone here.

      What will we do when we’re not looking forward to tomorrow’s guest post? What will we do when we are no longer interacting with Sarah’s great tribe here? What will we do when the realities of life (tragedy, boredom, hum drum job) catch up with us?

      What we can’t do: Lose our child-like curiosity, give up, or fall back into a stalemate.

      • I don’t plan to stop interacting with the tribe, but you’re right – the real challenge is when we’re no longer all here doing this.

  • Great Post Andrew! Thanks! I loved the you tube video. Seems every point made me raise my eyebrows… and your list of maybes – well I had been saying those a LOT over the last years!

    This last year was probably one of the worst years of my life for a multitude of reasons, but it was also a very great year for me too… I won't go into the bad… but the good? My son turned 4, is getting logic down and can hold real conversations – I love that! My husband and I found 'us' again and learned that we are not just parents! ๐Ÿ™‚ Getting on Twitter was probably one of the best things I could have done – and I scoffed at the idea for a LONG time! I absolutely love 'hearing' cool thoughts and ideas and I have connected with some great people!

    I also came to terms with one of those things I needed to… When I entered college, I entered as a Pre-Med major… but I was young, I 'partied' and didn't go to class – so I am sure you can imagine how that went… so I switched over to computers – that was easy (for me) got my BS and MS in Computer Science and that is what I do… but I have always felt that I should be a doctor… originally a surgeon (my mom is a Veterinarian and I always helped her with surgeries and loved it) – but know I am too old (hands won't last long enough) but for a while there – I thought I could still go back to Med School… I went back to college to take all the classes in order to take the MCAT (still have 4 to go) – but then I moved to Florida for this job I have now… Very long story short (sorry) – When I moved down here, I had to make that decision this job or Med school and the deciding factor was that although I know I CAN go – I am not going to – because I am not willing to pay the price of being away from my family for all the days, weeks and years it takes to get through school, internship, residency, etc. (so med school is my grand dream that I know I am not willing to pay for)

    Also, for me, the greatest thing that came out of the year is I started to blog. I have wanted to write always. I have story idea after story idea written down, stuffed in folders or typed out on the computer and saved. I also have different stories written out – some a paragraph, some hundreds of pages… By writing the blogs (I have 2)… I started my creative juices flowing again… My personal blog post last night was about realizing that I am ready to start, to change, to get it going! So I am trying! I got a few things from your list – Actually took my son ice-skating last weekend for the first time – I think I was more scared than he was – but I went! broken nose and all! ๐Ÿ™‚

    And now – thanks to your post, I am adding 2 things to my list for this year – learn a language, and start working out again… (along with the writing and other stuff that I put on my list at the beginning of this series!)

    Thanks! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Susan

    Thanks you for this wonderful post and video. This is the year I’m working on me! Got my kids through school and completed my PhD last year, so now it’s time to pursue my likes and interests and do the things that are in my bucket list of things to do. So I just informed my husband that we are taking a hot air balloon ride on my b’day in 2 weeks. I am breaking my stale-mate and going after NEW things. Like learning computer social media things ~ I always say I’m technologically challenged and can’t do anything unless my children are home to do it for me. I’m going to figure out this week how to put my pic on facebook! that’s a step for me.
    Thanks again to everyone on here, I love your comments and encouragement to each other and to me.

    • Glad the post resonated with you, Susan! Sounds like you’re well on your way to breaking whatever stalemate you may have found yourself in. Continue to do what you can to learn and stay curious! ๐Ÿ™‚ Thank you for your comments!

  • I also love that “When is the last time you did something for the first time?” I need to really think about that! I don't know the answer and I think that is telling!

  • Andrew, I LOVE the video, thanks for sharing. I love your post, too, it created a mood of optimism, and of poetry for me. I'm so on your page – I have been shifting to positive ways of expressing my hopes and dreams, and making a commitment to my big vision. Why not? I might actually make it happen, in fact, about 90% of me believes I will.

    And Sarah, thanks for this series, because it's pushing me even faster on my path, by encouraging me to articulate and therefore bring closer to reality the vision.

  • “I get the opportunity to” – WOW – I like that! I think I will start using that for my list for the year!

    I get the opportunity to write because I have stories to tell!! YEAH! I get the opportunity to work out because I am healthy! YEAH! I get the opportunity to learn a language – because I can! ๐Ÿ™‚ YEAH!

  • I do think that figuring out WHAT you want is the hardest thing! The HOW may not take care of itself completely – but I agree – once you know where you want to go, you seem to 'automatically' make decisions that take you there!

  • Wow – I think mastering the irish flute seems even more amazing to me since I have NO musical talent whatsoever! I love your quote about leaping in over one's head! They say that is the quickest way to learn to swim!

  • lorilatimer

    Well said, Shelly. Once you figure out the WHAT, your intuition seems to guide you to the resources you need to put the HOW into action. For me, it's been about listening to that intuition again and getting out of my own way!

  • I have been doing that myself! Saying yes, when my first instinct cries NO!! I have had some pretty good times and learned some cool stuff by doing that too!

  • If you ever want any help on different genres to read – let me know! I read many different kinds of fiction and my 'to read' shelf is full right now (about 100 books!) ๐Ÿ™‚

    I love reading different styles – I have my favorites of course – but I enjoy most books that I read!

  • When you say YES, I think it puts the powers that be on notice that you mean business! Good for you, Shelly!!

  • I've just realised that last year I did two things I thought I coudl never do.

    I thought I couldn't paint -then I found out about creating mandalas, and have had many hours of fun doing them.

    I thought I was too uncoordinated (and too old and too fat) to dance -then I found a wonderful teacher who has made me, 10 months later, able to line dance!

    Yay!!

  • Andrew – Thanks for such a fantastic reminder…to get back in touch with that part of ourselves that knows how to live without so many barriers! Though I was patting myself on the back for lots of ‘firsts’ this past year, I realized that I really have to step up my game a bit more – dig deep and don’t let my day-to-day life stop me from really thinking BIG and having fun!!

    • You are most welcome!

      Think about this: There will never be a time in your life when there isn’t something new you can try or learn. Never.

  • Just be careful. Saying YES too much results in you being tossed to and fro'. Saying NO when it really isn't a good opportunity or something you should do is a good thing too. ๐Ÿ™‚ NOT to be a Debbie Downer or anything. Just have to know when to say no too.

  • Intuition is great! I have always tried to listen to mine – and when I haven't, I usually regret it! The getting out of your own way is a task I think MANY people need to do! So glad to see you and all the people here doing that!

  • michaelleiter

    Learning music is very doable, but it requires more time than talent.
    Lots of time.
    And listening.
    I think we can all benefit from more practice in careful listening.

  • kristieschwanebeck

    Thank you Sally. I am calling my brother not to demand he let me play cops and robbers but to tell him I want to play cops and robbers with him. Our growing up together, well, we lightly joke and tell each other we walked into hell, got burned and scarred and walked out. It sounds overdone and all, but the reality is, we did. We were too bent on ensuring each other's survival and our own that we didn't play. So I am calling him to tell him I WANT to play cops and robbers with him. Build our relationship on a new level.

  • jen.

    Andrew, your post has me thrilled with the possibilities! Excited at thinking of more, and pleased with myself (this is a really good thing for me) that quite a few of your suggestions were on my working list already.

    The one thing that triggered me, so I think it is what I have to work on, is riding a unicycle. I broke my ankle a decade ago, and experienced the wonder and astronomical cost of surgery. I luckily had insurance at the time, but the vagaries of Silicon Valley layoffs meant I got to see the copays in all their glory right after everything was healed and I had to use a chunk of my severance paying them off! The upshot is that now, ten years older and again uninsured, I am playing it very safe, realizing that I can indeed be broken. So my immediate reaction was, “Well, I can't do that one.” Then I thought, “maybe not right now, but I have always thought hang-gliding would be amazing!” And instead of feeling trapped and stupid and irresponsible and inept for not having insurance, I started getting excited about having a reason to pursue insurance, not just another dreaded “should.”

    So thank you for this! I will be picking up the violin and viola again (haven't since high school), starting a blog, reading bios of many, plotting travel and education and entrepreneurial beginnings…likely all at once. And maybe I will be amazing.

  • VERY true Andrew! The things I say yes to are things like going to a play, going to a party, etc…

    (I came really close to becoming reclusive before I met my hubby, my job makes that easy – I can do it from anywhere at any time, so being home a lot became comfy! The movie “The Net” really hit home with me! :)) Anyway – since I met hubby – I have been saying yes to the things I mentioned before – social stuff!

    I would never say yes to something that I knew wasn't good or right for me to be involved in at the time! I value being able to do the things I actually want to! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • kristieschwanebeck

    One thing we tell our clients “stop should-ing on yourself” When we get caught up in “I should” then we disempower ourselves and become a victim and slave to that. It also stifles our creativity and our authenticity.

  • I'm glad it resonated, Linda. I first saw that video about a month ago and actually shared it on my blog when I did. I love it too! As a huge fan of music, I think the music with it is brilliant. Very inspiring message and music. The more I thought about it, I felt I needed to take its message a little further. When Sarah asked me to contribute to this series – I thought it would be the perfect time. ๐Ÿ™‚

    It's wonderful to hear you shifting to a more positive way of looking at things. Without a positive attitude, it's very difficult to achieve much of anything of value.

    I definitely thank Sarah for this series too! We should ALL thanks Sarah for doing this. I hope it's helping everyone push through to achieve their goals and inspiring everyone along the way!

  • Congratulations! Now, learn or do FOUR things you never thought you could/would do this year. ๐Ÿ™‚ Just keep learning and being curious about things. The kid you would. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Anyone up for a pick up game of baseball on the sandlot later??? ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • SO TRUE! I learn that daily now with my 4 year old and have realized that I need to do the same! LISTEN… really listen… I think there are so many things we miss in life because we are distracted or busy doing other things and don't stop to focus! Music is a really good example! Glad you found that! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Just realized I said “should do”, instead of “shouldn't do.” I hate typos so I'm calling myself out. ๐Ÿ™‚

    I think you got the message anyway! Glad to hear it too. I figured you knew when to say when. I just wanted to make the point because so many just say 'yes' because they don't want to make someone upset or they want to please everyone.

    “I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.” ~ Bill Cosby

  • kristieschwanebeck

    *waves hand in the air* pick me! pick me! Please oh please oh please! Pick me!

    *giggles*

  • jen.

    Sally, you just said exactly what I've been feeling! But I also have been feeling a little in awe of you and a few others here for your wisdom and engagement in this tribe. So I guess it's all degrees of satisfaction – here I am thinking YOU are doing it right, and you are feeling similar to me about your level of execution.

    Oh, and you are lovely! I saw something in a Byron Katie video clip last night that felt good; the woman she was going through the Work with came to see that she had the best body in the world for her. I remember the profound sadness you mention from a yoga class years ago when I suddenly felt how mean I'd been to my body, which has nonetheless supported me astonishingly all my life. All I can do is begin from love, cherish this vessel as it is right now, and do the best I can in it from here. And for what it's worth you are a light to me on this path.

  • lorilatimer

    LOL – Shelly, it sounds like you and I could start our own bookstore with all the books we have “to read”! And I just keep buying more ๐Ÿ™‚

  • As long as I get to pitch!

  • I like this. A lot. Brilliant.

  • One thing I have never done myself is learn another language. I've taken the time to nail down some basic Spanish because of my 9-5 job, but I really have never done that. Maybe I need to take some of my own advice? ๐Ÿ™‚

    It is great that you and your husband are taking the time to learn French. “Oui! Oui!” That's all I know and it doesn't even fit there. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Andrew, I love this post!

    Itโ€™s so easy to fall into a state of โ€œmaintainโ€ โ€“ do what you need to do to keep things moving along and forget to enjoy the journey.

    Itโ€™s also far too easy to let others get in the way of the everyday wonders. You know who Iโ€™m talking about: the nay-sayers, the Eeyores, the people who are โ€œtoo coolโ€ or โ€œtoo matureโ€ or โ€œtoo busyโ€ to stop for a moment and see the world through the eyes of a child. They're the ones who donโ€™t marvel at the colors on the back of a dragonflyโ€™s wing. They donโ€™t hear the whispers of the trees when the wind blows, or stop to smell the honeysuckle. They donโ€™t care why bubbles float, or how to say grapefruit in French, or how to make an origami crane. They think youโ€™re too old to try a new career, or to learn an instrument, and theyโ€™ll be sure to tell you, even if you donโ€™t ask them. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    I try to avoid these people, when I can. Theyโ€™re like a stick in the spokes on a downhill bike ride. Let them distract you for just a second and BANG! โ€“ youโ€™re on the ground amidst the wreckage staring at the sky through one madly spinning wheel.

    Iโ€™m endlessly curious. I love learning new things. My challenge falls on the OTHER side of this spectrum, the one where I need to get things done and instead Iโ€™m looking up the names of Saturnโ€™s moons or learning how to create a video. My take is I need to get a little more deliberate about my curiosity โ€“ pick one or two things and run with them, instead of trying several different things at once.

    Iโ€™d like to write, to learn how to make stained glass and to learn more about web design. Iโ€™d like to get better at playing guitar and singing (purely for my own amusement, and possibly for the amusement of my dog). Iโ€™d like to get better about seeing challenges as opportunities. And thatโ€™s just the start of my list. As I said, I think I need to take it step by step. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    I saw the movie โ€œJoe versus the Volcanoโ€ at an impressionable age. (Side note: I can count on both hands the number of people who actually admit theyโ€™ve seen the movie, and I can drop back to one hand for the number of people who admit they liked it.) Even so, this quote stuck with me through the years:
    “My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know. Everybody you see. Everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake and they live in a state of constant total amazement.”

    Now I donโ€™t know how it would feel to live in a state of constant total amazement – I imagine it might be exhausting, to be completely honest – but I do want to live my life open to wonder and possibility. I want to be amazed from time to time. And I never want to lose my sense of curiosity. And even though I know itโ€™s not necessary, every once in a while itโ€™s nice to have someone come along and give you permission to dream, to question, and to actually take the time to learn or to try something different. So thank you.

  • kristieschwanebeck

    ok so there's a lot in this post to respond to that resonated with me. First, stalemate…since i left my husband four years ago, I have been on a journey out of stalemation. I was in a marriage where I was locked away. So I was forced by circumstances to get out and do it. With no option to fail. However, old habits die hard and I did have options (and old patterns) to break out of. Stalemation. And the end of 2009 and beginning of 2010. I underwent an intense internal processing time. The result of it is, I was dissatisfied with where I was and wanted more. So I am once again completely revamping things esxternally and more importantly internally in 2010. Kicking stalemation in its well deserved heinie.

    “I had a dream…” But seriously I did. This dream was birthed in me when I was 11 years old. The outcome? This year I am turning that dream into reality. So the video was integral for me to see and sent shivers down my spine. For as I do this, I am realizing I am an entrepreneur. My business idea has NEVER been done before, it will be a first. What struck me about the video is the last bit when it lists the impact an entrepreneur has ie-changing lives, creating jobs etc etc. In the busyness of getting this up and running, I had forgotten my WHY I am doing this. To make money etc etc? Sure. But first and foremost to change lives. And I did the calculations, this could change 600 lives in Canada per year and as it has the potential to hit the states that would be around 3000 lives per year. That is my WHY. And that utube video brought me back to the roots, back to my love in this and back to my inspiration in this which brought about a sense of renewed energy.

    Thank you for the spine-tingling shivers….

  • lorilatimer

    Thanks for sharing your story, Shelly. It's never easy to let go of a dream, but it sounds like you have a wonderful husband and son, and you are following dreams in other directions.

    We can all take a lesson from children – they have no fear of trying new things! And good for you for pushing past your fear and going ice skating ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Thank you, Shelly. I'm loving your participation in this discussion. Great insight.

    You know, we all have our 'bad years'. I had about 3 in a row in the last 10 years. Looking back – that turbulence created opportunity for me (as the video says). I am always glad when I see people trying to push through. Sometimes it takes a nudge from someone and if my little, insignificant blog post can be that nudge – I've done my job. ๐Ÿ™‚ Stick with it and master those two goals, Shelly!

  • kristieschwanebeck

    k fine you pitch but I'm warning you……

  • kristieschwanebeck

    Thank you. I actually have it posted in my office for my clients to see….

  • You're starting to inspire me to learn an instrument. ๐Ÿ™‚ I am very music oriented and have always wanted to learn to play the guitar. Thinking I need to add it to my list…

  • lorilatimer

    Kristie, you are truly an inspiration. I totally understand the divorce and journey you have been on. Now follow that dream that you've had since you were a little girl, and having figured out your “WHY,” you will rock it!

    Congrats to you on being brave enough and smart enough to follow your heart.

    Lori

  • Good point. Figuring out WHAT it is you want to do or should be doing can be a huge obstacle.

  • kristieschwanebeck

    I absolutely love that quote….it's amazing!!

  • kristieschwanebeck

    Thank you Lori. What you said reminds me of a quote: “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.” -Winnie the Pooh

  • Kristie, thank you so much for sharing. I wish you all the best on your journey. I know you'll be able to do it and to do it well, and I can't wait to hear all about it. And what a great quote!

  • michaelleiter

    Great!
    Making music is truly a delight. It takes you into yourself and connects you with others.
    And wherever you are, there is very likely a community around just the kind of music you like.
    A word of advice: if you travel a lot, pick a small instrument, so you can take it with you.

  • Awesome, Jen. ๐Ÿ™‚ Just stay focused on getting out there and always learning, trying new things, and keeping it interesting. The real test isn't today. The real test is a tomorrow, a week from now, and months down the road. Stick with it and keep your curiosity.

  • That reminds me of a friend of mine. He learned harmonica and keeps it with him wherever he goes. He also tells people he learned the harmonica because he heard it makes you a good kisser. Haha… ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Liked the post. LOVED the video (even though I'm Canadian). Both resonate very deeply with what I am doing right now… on which subject, more soon… and more importantly, with what I've been telling some good friends lately who seem very stuck in I Can't loops.

    Many of you will doubtless have seen it already, but I'll leave you with this:
    http://chrisguillebeau.com/3×5/turn-around-and-

  • To have a business venture that has not yet been implemented, and to reach the lives in the numbers you've listed ~ all of it is very exciting!! Not to mention what you're modelling to your children along the way, that sometimes it's not about what Life sends your way … but in how you orchestrate and execute the recovery. I'm on Team Kristie for sure!!

  • “Itโ€™s also far too easy to let others get in the way of the everyday wonders. You know who Iโ€™m talking about: the nay-sayers, the Eeyores, the people who are โ€œtoo coolโ€ or โ€œtoo matureโ€ or โ€œtoo busyโ€ to stop for a moment and see the world through the eyes of a child.” – You said this better than I ever could. I love it.

    You are spot on, Mickey. That “Joe vs. The Volcano” quote is excellent too. I don't even know that I could add to what you have said. I'm just sitting here nodding my head in agreement. It's comments like yours that makes the comment section far better than the original post.

    Bravo! Bravo!

  • kristieschwanebeck

    yay I have a team!!!!

  • Joe vs the Volcano – I do believe that is one of my brother's favourite movies of all time. No kidding. He had three copies of it … so there'd always be one when the other wore out from being watched. Your 'stick in the spoke of a bike wheel racing downhill' is an excellent image. I call those people Speedbumps – but your visual has much more POP. Spoke Sticks arrest your attention IMMEDIATELY – my Speedbumps simply force me to slow down, reassess, regroup, and move on. I've been blessed to have taken very few tumbles courtesy of Spoke Sticks … and I'll bet you never sit in the spinning wreckage for long. Loved your comment!

  • Thank you for sharing your story with us, Kristie. The spine tingling is on me. Don't mention it. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Keep pressing through. As I said an in an earlier comment, the real test isn't today. The real test of your will and drive will be tomorrow, the next week, and the coming months. You've figured out what you want to do. Now press through and get it accomplished.

  • How easily we beat ourselves up for no other reason than we found ourselves in a learning opportunity the hard way! Several Challenge Days back (it was the finances one), Teresa guest commented on behalf of the blogger because he was unavailable when his blog was posted. Something Teresa commented on a Tribe Members comments will stay with me forever. IAMNOWHERE – some see I Am Nowhere (I did, at first) … we can also choose to see I Am Now Here. I can't even begin to tell you what a difference that has made in my own heart since reading it. A true A-Ha moment.

    So, I am now here – and you are now here. And the truly empowering thing about this is … we can choose any direction we please and we'll always be Now Here, free to course correct or carry on as self-assessment and circumstance allows.

    Today, my Now Here saw me in a Tea Room in a Buddha Temple, eating Noodle Vegetable Soup with chopsticks. I usually ask for a fork and spoon – today, I did not. I'm sure I was the source of amusement amongst the chopstick experts in the Tea Room ~ my daughter even asked why I was trying, 'How often do you have to use chopsticks anyway?' I told her I'm going to learn something new as often as I can ~ starting right here, right now.

    You're awesome Jen — keep believing in yourself. We all know how wise an investment that is …

  • Mandalas are so beautiful! I'll bet aspects of your inner essence were visible in each creation …

  • Anonymous

    Can I get an AMEN??!!

    Last year, at 48, I took my first ever surfing lesson. Had never wanted to try it myself before, though I have my breath taken away time and again watching “Step Into Liquid.” Got the urge out of nowhere and just went for it . . . COWABUNGA, if you will.

    If anyone ever feels like they’ve run out of ideas (??!!) there’s a great little book called The Wish List by Barbara Ann Kipfer. I’ve had it for years and it has pages of incredible things to do like fly on the SST (too late for that one!) or bounce a baby on your knee. There’s plenty of room to add your own adventures. You check it off as you go. Great fun and gives your own childlike imagination a kick-start.

    Thanks for reminding us, Andrew, to live like it’s RECESS!!!

    • Very cool to hear about you taking surfing lessons! I’ve always wanted to surf myself, but never have. Maybe I need to write that down as something to try soon. Being land locked makes it a little difficult to learn it on a consistent basis though. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • You, sir, are far too kind. Your post really inspired me, as you can tell, so don't you dare sell it short! And thanks again. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Stephanie, c'est magnifique! Quel plaisir vous aurez!! (That's magnificent! What fun you will have!!) I've been learning how to use Twitter, how to make Video Blogposts, how to create Facebook Fan Pages — there are days when I feel too old for all the learning curves I'm striving to mount … but nothing beats the feeling you get from inside when you truly impress yourself with an accomplishment.

    Bonne chance avec les leรงons de franรงais! (Good luck with the French lessons!)

  • My daughter and I just got back from the book store.

    Her: What are you doing?
    Me: Looking for a Title or Cover that catches my eye.
    Her: Don't you already have a pile of books you keep saying you can't wait to read?
    Me: Yes. You're right. I think I have a compulsion.

    So, I only bought one …

  • lorilatimer

    Oh good – another partner for our bookstore!

    There's nothing like a child to give us a reality check, is there??

    When I was in CA in Nov., I bought so many books and had to pack them in my suitcase that I had to pay an excess weight charge for the darn suitcase! Pretty bad, eh?

  • I know exactly what you're describing Lori. Years ago, I read a book by Elizabeth Berg called “The Pull of the Moon”. In it, the key female character sees a beautiful Journal and pen in a store window, buys it on impulse and then 'leaves home' for awhile, searching for her Self. She realized that she knew nothing about her own likes, dislikes, needs, etc. – and as a result, no one else did either. There's a part in the book where she actually has a bit of a conversation with her Self. “Where have you been? I've been waiting for you.” // “I lay down bread crumbs on my path, so I”d find my way back. I got busy with life, marriage, kids – and when I turned back, the bread crumbs were gone…” I was in my 30's when I read this book and I vowed then and there that I would not let that happen to me. It was a turning point in my life … and while I still have a long way to travel, I'm so grateful for the work I've done thus far …

  • That's a huge paradigm shift, isn't it Shelly? When you recognize the degree to which you've given your power away to external elements that may not have served you as you'd hoped they would? I know when I finally became aware of this – everything changed.

  • If I'm too late to join in this game — I'd love to meet you all for wings and beer/whatever later!!

  • My daughter is 5 and I am amazed by her all the time. She can do anything. She's a painter, a writer, an illustrator, a soccer girl, a chef. She serenades her stuffed animals on a ukulele. There is nothing she can't do because she honestly believes she is perfectly capable of it. If I could bottle that…

    Your point is some dead on. We lose this. We convince ourselves that we're too _________, or not _____________ enough. Thank you so much for the reminder to have the can do attitude. I'm breaking out my guitar for dummies and grabbing that thing that's sat in the corner just looking pretty! I might try my hand at painting!

  • kristieschwanebeck

    oh no teams are just forming Andrew vs. Sarah. so far Im on Andrews team but last i heard Sarah was still compiling hers…

  • Thank you Jen, you've touched my heart! See – I open myself up to magic, and the most iridescent fairy arrives!! It takes courage to speak up when it seems to work against your very nature. I know that's why I love online opportunities like this ~ I can interact and share with people in a way I'd not be as comfortable doing if we were all physically present in a room as strangers.

    The fact that we're here, to me, serves as an invitation to interact, speak and share. So I feel more welcome and less intrusive online than I would live and in-person. I also read in a book called 'The Fire in the Soul' by Joan Boryshenko that Vulnerability opens us up to Intimacy … and it is in the trust and spirit of intimate connection that true healing can happen.

    I'm grateful you feel safe with me — and that I am feeling safe with you and so many others. We're like candles, each lighting up the other, and at points – the entire room is ablaze with our wonder and glory. It's truly an awesome experience.

  • I love you and Sally for this. Your replies and comments remind me to breathe. In. Out. There. It really means the world to me.

  • Yeah, Sally and I will be some[place fun eating foods with our fingers if they're not made as finger food. It's how we roll.

  • sarahrobinson

    Ok – as captain of the OPPOSING team, I am here to recruit my teammates. Our uniforms will be killer as will our team cheer. We will win simply on awesome points. Who's in?!

  • Yes – new mantra! When was the last time you tried something new?

    You have inspired me. Today, at the farmer's market, there was a group doing a zumba class. It looked like fun. I was certain if I did it, I would look like an ostrich on crack. Who the hell cares! I'm finding a class. I wanna do zumba! (I feel like Po in Kung Fu Panda. “I don't wanna sell noodles! I love Kung FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!)

  • Should is a four letter word. Period. That's it. That's the list.

  • I'm in on the bookstore. Former English Teacher checking in. My wish list on Amazon is more full than most people's book shelves.

  • kristieschwanebeck

    sorry im on the other side

  • Dude, I'm out. Sally and I are going to be at the bar with finger food strategizing an epic food fight. I hope your uniforms are a dark color. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Awesome. We won't keep track of innings played. We'll just play until our moms yell for us to come in for dinner! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • lorilatimer

    I say go for it! I was going to take a salsa dancing class w/some friends a couple of months ago but we couldn't make it work, so I need to check into that again. And I don't even want to think about what I'll look like, but like you so aptly put it, who the hell cares? I'm all over fun these days ๐Ÿ™‚

  • sarahrobinson

    EXCELLENT!!

  • lorilatimer

    Oh, I like the group we're getting together! Any others? And a former English teacher? I can only imagine!

    I'll go onto Amazon for ONE thing, and next thing you know, well, big boxes arrive with all kinds of goodies in them. I just wonder if I'll ever be able to read all of the books I already have in this lifetime ๐Ÿ™‚

  • kristieschwanebeck

    So I did call my brother and like I figured he thought I was nuts, but then he got into it and we decided when me and the kids go to visit in the summer, we shall have a water gun cops and robbers game. Then after a bit of playful banter, he sent much love to me. Something he never does!!!

  • It's always great to find another Joe vs. the Volcano fan out there . Please give your brother my best – after all, the five of us need to stick together. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    And I really like your image of speedbumps – not quite as violent and sometimes you can avoid them. And every so often you benefit from slowing down a little. Thanks!

  • That is pure dead AWESOME!!! Oh my gosh, I'm covered in goosebumps. I've read that goosebumps are the Universe's way of letting you know that something significant has just happened. My brother and I are going to play 21 (is that what it's called when you take turns shooting a basketball into the hoop, and then try to block the other from being able to do so?). I have very poor hand/eye coordination … but I'm a mighty funny distraction ~ so while I won't make any impact at all with my hoop-shooting – I'm guaranteed to make my colossal loss take forever!

  • It's great to see you already taking action! There's no way you can be in a stalemate if you keep changing things up and trying new things like this. Inspiring. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • 21 is fun to me. My wife and I used to play it on dates and just talk and whatnot. I think we need to get back to that… ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Jack of all trades, master of none – that's me. I love learning new things, but rarely have enough time to get exceptionally good at much of any of them. Trying new things is always a great idea, but I've never really tried something new just because I hadn't done so recently.

    I think being HERE amongst all these wonderful people in our 30 days to change our game is my stalemate breaker – I didn't come here just because I could. I didn't come here just because Sarah rocks. I didn't come here for no reason. I came here to change my game.

    Thank you, to you all. Not just Sarah, not just the other authors, EVERYONE.

  • Your book reminds me of the scene in Runaway Bride where the Julia Roberts character goes on a search to determine how she likes her eggs cooked. Until then she always went along with the eggs the way the man in her life liked them. She did not know which way appealed to her. The eggs were symbolic of the way her whole life had been lived-always making other people happy but not knowing what truly made her happy.

  • Susan

    Thanks you for this wonderful post and video. This is the year I'm working on me! Got my kids through school and completed my PhD last year, so now it's time to pursue my likes and interests and do the things that are in my bucket list of things to do. So I just informed my husband that we are taking a hot air balloon ride on my b'day in 2 weeks. I am breaking my stale-mate and going after NEW things. Like learning computer social media things ~ I always say I'm technologically challenged and can't do anything unless my children are home to do it for me. I'm going to figure out this week how to put my pic on facebook! that's a step for me.
    Thanks again to everyone on here, I love your comments and encouragement to each other and to me.

  • Sarah, I will be on your side. Game on!

  • As long as Young Turk is the bench coach and inspirational speech giver, I'm in.

  • Writergrrl

    I love that idea, Andrew – shaking up the stalemate in Date Night with something fun, active, a little less 'grown up' and taking you back to where it all started.

    When my hubby and I were first married we hadn't had a lot of dates (long story), so one of our favourite places to go was a lovely dark little tapas bar in Maidenhead outside of London. I'd gotten a boardgame called Atlas with cards asking all sorts of questions about every country. I chucked out the board and we took the cards with us, creating a drinking game using their yummy pitchers of sangria. Sure, we probably looked strange to others, but we laughed and learned and fell more in love. I've still got those cards and I think I might get them out tonight after the boys go to bed.

  • Writergrrl

    @Sally- Wow – what a great book…I'll have to find it as that is something I've struggled with on and off for years.

    @Lori- Your stories continue to inspire me….thanks for sharing so much here!! P.S. Hope you don't mind, I'm saving your email address, too!!

  • Writergrrl

    Vanessa, you should TOTALLY do Zumba!! I've been taking classes for over 2 years (not as regularly as I'd like, but still) and it is the most fun I've ever had in the gym. The best part? Most of the people don't have all the steps down 'perfectly', the point is to let go, have fun and use your body. And man, does it burn calories!!

  • Nazima Ali

    After 2 weeks I finally went back to yoga tonite and came back to read this post. I definitely feel like I’m slowly breaking out of my stalemate of the last couple weeks. I have learning french(already started) and italian on my goals list for this year as well as taking an art class. I also signed up for a social media site for international business this month to help me in my new business. I’m looking forward to learning something new. Thanks Andrew, for this reminder to not stay stuck in the same rut.

  • Writergrrl

    Andrew – Thanks for such a fantastic reminder…to get back in touch with that part of ourselves that knows how to live without so many barriers! Though I was patting myself on the back for lots of 'firsts' this past year, I realized that I really have to step up my game a bit more – dig deep and don't let my day-to-day life stop me from really thinking BIG and having fun!!

  • Writergrrl

    I like that concept, Erin, and I think you're right…when you open yourself up to something new by saying “Yes” all sorts of other opportunities seem to magically crop up. I love that!!

  • Writergrrl

    Count me in for the bookstore!! And the baseball game for that matter – I always back out of team sports for fear of looking like an idiot. I am telling you all (makes it more 'real'), the next time that I'm invited to play, I will say YES!!

  • Writergrrl

    Wow, Mickey! From your list of new things to learn & do (I did a double take for a minute thinking I was reading my own journal) to your love of 'Joe vs. the Volcano' (how bout this? I loved that movie so much that I actually owned it!!), I was right there with you!!

  • Writergrrl

    Hey Tobias- I love Chris Guillebeau's AoNC website…it is inspiration (and a bit of a kick up the bum) on a daily basis! Look forward to reading about what you're doing right now…

  • Writergrrl

    Mark- That. Was. Awesome. You just gave me goose bumps…thanks and back atcha (even when I don't reply, your comments are always making me think long after I navigate away from the page). Like you, I think it's the special combination of Sarah, her List of amazing peeps and, most importantly, all of the others in the Tribe that are helping me change my own game one thought, one step, one smile at a time. Cheers!!

  • Yeah, that video isn't exactly international in the example it gives, but I still think America's founding fathers can be inspiring to everyone. The overwhelming odds they had to overcome and the vision they had as a whole can be inspiring.

    That photo is awesome. I actually had not seen it. I thank you for directing us to it!

    Good luck on your current project, Tobais!

  • So glad I could help nudge you to break out that guitar and hand painting, Vanessa. You know, one thing that is amazing about some of the things we're talking about here (learning a musical instrument, learning another language, writing more, etc.) is they can all be hobbies (or much more) that help us focus more. They give us time to think. They help us reflect more on life. They help get the creative juices flowing. It's something a child has no problem with, but as adults we do forget the value of these things sometimes.

    For me, just working out or taking a walk can help get me going creatively. I've outlined many blog posts while on the treadmill or walking in my neighborhood.

    Thank you for your contribution here and participation!

  • kristieschwanebeck

    Andrew we are in trouble its just me and your on your team and Sarah's getting a ton of players

  • Thank you Writergrrl.

    If I replied to every comment that made me think, I'd have a reply to every post that has been made since our program started, so don't worry about not commenting…your words this once are more than enough.

    I consider myself lucky in that I knew a lot of Sarah's cohorts before these posts all began, but to be here in general is beyond amazing. Seeing everything happen as we all go along, even the threads not participated in is an inspiration, one we all need, and we came here to find.

  • Glad the post resonated with you, Susan! Sounds like you're well on your way to breaking whatever stalemate you may have found yourself in. Continue to do what you can to learn and stay curious! ๐Ÿ™‚ Thank you for your comments!

  • We had just come from Italy and I couldn't remember the French for carbonated water. I was mentally blocked with Aqua Minerale Frizzante. However, from my days in radio, I *do* know how to make a water drop/bubble sound against my cheek. So I asked our server if he could bring us l'eau avec “ploink ploink” sound. It worked. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Glad to hear you're here to change your game, Mark. NOW, the real challenge is going to be 30 days after the first 30 days. In other words, we have to maintain the change. It's a change not just for a little while, it must be a lifestyle change. I think that has to be stressed to everyone here.

    What will we do when we're not looking forward to tomorrow's guest post? What will we do when we are no longer interacting with Sarah's great tribe here? What will we do when the realities of life (tragedy, boredom, hum drum job) catch up with us?

    What we can't do: Lose our child-like curiosity, give up, or fall back into a stalemate.

  • You are most welcome!

    Think about this: There will never be a time in your life when there isn't something new you can try or learn. Never.

  • Oh man, Zumba…. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Nah, we're not in trouble. I can bring some of my tribe and we'd be good. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • LaConsuelo

    Can I get an AMEN??!!

    Last year, at 48, I took my first ever surfing lesson. Had never wanted to try it myself before, though I have my breath taken away time and again watching “Step Into Liquid.” Got the urge out of nowhere and just went for it . . . COWABUNGA, if you will.

    If anyone ever feels like they've run out of ideas (??!!) there's a great little book called The Wish List by Barbara Ann Kipfer. I've had it for years and it has pages of incredible things to do like fly on the SST (too late for that one!) or bounce a baby on your knee. There's plenty of room to add your own adventures. You check it off as you go. Great fun and gives your own childlike imagination a kick-start.

    Thanks for reminding us, Andrew, to live like it's RECESS!!!

  • kristieschwanebeck

    ok then…Let's Bring It!

  • I definitely agree on the Bookstore! Of course, what is throwing a wrench in my world right now is the eBook! All my friends that I travel with have begged me to get one! LOL

  • Very cool to hear about you taking surfing lessons! I've always wanted to surf myself, but never have. Maybe I need to write that down as something to try soon. Being land locked makes it a little difficult to learn it on a consistent basis though. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Nazima Ali

    After 2 weeks I finally went back to yoga tonite and came back to read this post. I definitely feel like I'm slowly breaking out of my stalemate of the last couple weeks. I have learning french(already started) and italian on my goals list for this year as well as taking an art class. I also signed up for a social media site for international business this month to help me in my new business. I'm looking forward to learning something new. Thanks Andrew, for this reminder to not stay stuck in the same rut.

  • Sally – you are spot on!

    I was taught to focus on a person, a thing,a problem I wanted resolved – whatever – and to let the mandala develop and create itself.

    I learnt so much about “trusting the process” , listening, letting go of perfection, relinquishing control….

    And the mandala I created which was all about the energy, purpose, intention and possibility of Spiritus sits on my wall and inspires me whenever I look at it.

    (and this from someone who was told I was totally useless at art and could never be any good at it “because I was a scientist and mathematician!” She didn't know about the geometric patterns of a mandala!)

  • I don't plan to stop interacting with the tribe, but you're right – the real challenge is when we're no longer all here doing this.

  • Would you believe that the Voyager Tarot card I drew this morning to answer “Where am I today?” was the Eight of Cups “Stagnation.” Yep. Me. Gridlock.

    Thank you, Andrew, for encouraging us to focus on the positive and allow our inner child to explore. It’s been really easy to get caught up in the day to day junk that over time leads to stagnation. I’m doing this challenge and just started Kim DeYoung’s Get It Done class to give myself a kick in the pants I need to break it. My project for the Get it Done series is to start the blog I’ve been putting off for 2 years. Writing has been very important to me and I let it die on the vine to care for kids or clients or whatever detail made it an easy excuse to put off. I have rediscovered writing in my journal, which has been a great way to note ideas, doodle and deal with some issues that I allowed myself to wallow in. Yoga and dance classes are helpful to stir up creative energy, though I’ve been home with a sick kid so much between October and now that I’m not going as much as I’d like to. Folding laundry with the iPod blaring (dancing wildly) is also a fun way to shake off the blahs.

    As for my bucket list this year … get my jaw surgery done once and for all (will take 2 blog posts to explain), take a stand up comedy class and learn CSS (I trained in print and fudged my way w/ web design). I love to collage so I’m keeping paper scraps, cards and magazines around to use in my visual journal. Lisa Sonora Beam’s The Creative Entrepreneur book on visual journaling is my guide.

  • Would you believe that the Voyager Tarot card I drew this morning to answer “Where am I today?” was the Eight of Cups “Stagnation.” Yep. Me. Gridlock.

    Thank you, Andrew, for encouraging us to focus on the positive and allow our inner child to explore. It's been really easy to get caught up in the day to day junk that over time leads to stagnation. I'm doing this challenge and just started Kim DeYoung's Get It Done class to give myself a kick in the pants I need to break it. My project for the Get it Done series is to start the blog I've been putting off for 2 years. Writing has been very important to me and I let it die on the vine to care for kids or clients or whatever detail made it an easy excuse to put off. I have rediscovered writing in my journal, which has been a great way to note ideas, doodle and deal with some issues that I allowed myself to wallow in. Yoga and dance classes are helpful to stir up creative energy, though I've been home with a sick kid so much between October and now that I'm not going as much as I'd like to. Folding laundry with the iPod blaring (dancing wildly) is also a fun way to shake off the blahs.

    As for my bucket list this year … get my jaw surgery done once and for all (will take 2 blog posts to explain), take a stand up comedy class and learn CSS (I trained in print and fudged my way w/ web design). I love to collage so I'm keeping paper scraps, cards and magazines around to use in my visual journal. Lisa Sonora Beam's The Creative Entrepreneur book on visual journaling is my guide.

  • StephanieCorum

    Thanks Shelly. What are your favorite styles?

  • StephanieCorum

    Merci Sally! We've been to Paris 4 times now, absolutely love it, want to spend more time in France so figure we better learn to communicate!

  • Anonymous

    Loved the short video. So inspiring. I’ve been living in stalemate for the past few years. Trying new things now (slowly) and it is giving me new inspiration. I’ve listed several items on my vision board that I want for this year. Working towards that now.

  • I use to keep index cards in my purse and would write down things I’d see that might relate to a future character in a book. I never went the fiction route but do know that the practice of noticing and writing down ideas was helpful so thanks, I’ll start doing it again.

  • tehjess

    Sally, I completely resonate with you on the disappointment about uncompleted steps. I have been the same way – had so many goals, dreams, plans for this new year, determined to do things differently. And I HAVE done things differently, but I tend to get discouraged about what I HAVEN'T done instead of celebrating what I HAVE done.

    So here's to the steps that we HAVE accomplished!!!! Let's celebrate that moving forward and continue to move forward one step at a time! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Glad to be on this journey with you – and thank you for sharing yourself in this tribe! I always enjoy reading your comments. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • tehjess

    Sounds like a great book, Sally! ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanks for mentioning it – I just went online and placed a hold on it at my local library so I can pick it up later. Been needing a good book to read lately, sounds like this one will fit the bill perfectly! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • michelesfakianos

    Loved the short video. So inspiring. I've been living in stalemate for the past few years. Trying new things now (slowly) and it is giving me new inspiration. I've listed several items on my vision board that I want for this year. Working towards that now.

  • tehjess

    Shannon, I really enjoyed your thoughts on the What Ifs and Maybes and turning them into a POSITIVE question! Brilliant, and certainly great for helping to change focus. ๐Ÿ™‚ “What if it works out exactly like I envisioned — or better?!!” Love it – thank you!

  • tehjess

    Love the chopsticks story, Sally! ๐Ÿ˜€

  • I use to keep index cards in my purse and would write down things I'd see that might relate to a future character in a book. I never went the fiction route but do know that the practice of noticing and writing down ideas was helpful so thanks, I'll start doing it again.

  • Anonymous

    On the subject of doing something new, there is a company in New York called Surprise Industries that will book you a lesson without telling you what it is.

  • ryujin713

    On the subject of doing something new, there is a company in New York called Surprise Industries that will book you a lesson without telling you what it is.