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How Not To Change Your Game [Day 19 – 30 Days to Changing Your Game]


This is Day 19 of 30 Days to Changing Your Game. Yesterday Elizabeth Potts Weinstein got us splashing in puddles, and today Marie Forleo makes us laugh with her how-to-not-change-your-game checklist. Though it is VERY funny, read it closely. There are some very wise points buried in the laughter. 🙂

How Not to Change Your Game

by Marie Forleo (@MarieForleo)

I’m on my couch.  I’ve been sitting here for quite a while trying to write something useful and clever and inspiring about changing your game.

Of course, trying to be useful and clever and inspiring doesn’t work.

(Does it ever?)

So I figure, why not have some fun and talk about how not  to change your game.

This way, if you ever veer into keep-your-game-exactly-as-it-is land, you can thank me for keeping you on the right side of the track.

Deal?  On we go.

1.  “Get ready” to change your game.

Getting ready to do anything is a stalling tactic; a big fat con job we run on ourselves.

Ever notice that you can spend your entire life getting ready to change, but never actually change a damn thing?   Me too.

When I say I’m getting ready to do something, that’s code for, “I have no intention to do this, but I want to sound like I do.”

And the truth is I’ve never been ready, per se, for any game changing event that’s happened in my life.  Thank God for that.  Because if I’d known what was coming, I may have freaked myself out.

For example, after leaving a lucrative career on Wall Street, I decided to pursue my passion for dance.  I was getting my feet wet in the dance world when a game changing event landed in my lap.  A producer from MTV saw me dance, and asked me to interview to choreograph/produce and perform on one of their shows.

Here’s the kicker.

At that time I had never stepped foot in a professional dance class in my life, nor had any real experience as a choreographer/producer or performer.

I was excited and completely terrified all at once.

I could either say yes, pray to the dance Gods and work my ass off . . .

Or decline so I could “get ready” and hope for another once in a lifetime opportunity to show up.

Of course, I said yes, got the job and did work my ass off.

Now take a look in your own life.

Haven’t you always stepped up to the plate when a game changing event happened?  Haven’t you found strength and courage and capabilities beyond what you thought were “ready” for?

Most of us grossly underestimate ourselves and spend waaaay too much time “getting ready” for what we’re already capable of.  While I’m all for training and education, sometimes the fastest way to get both is to stop “getting ready” and just get going.

2.  Make a detailed, game-changing plan.

Detailed plans to change your game can be another sneaky stalling tactic.

A detailed plan is especially dangerous because it masquerades around in the always seductive “I’m being responsible” dress.

Changing your game often means stepping into unchartered territory with no guide to follow.

Old rules are out the window.  You’re in the wild, wild west of your own potential.  Best bet is to shoot from the hip and skip micromanaging the details.

And let’s be honest. If you’ve ever planned anything, you know that life’s agenda rarely matches up with your own.  When it comes to changing your game, let your deepest desire direct you and be flexible as you go.

This isn’t to discourage clarity of your aim; but trust that when you’re guided by your heart, your next steps will always appear in perfect time.

Changing your game is an intuitive, instinctive process that doesn’t always match up with logic, reason or perfect planning.  In fact, logic, reason and perfect planning may prevent you from changing your game at all.

3.  Avoid fear, discomfort, anxiety, confusion, etc. and all costs.

Oooooohwee, this is a big one.  The best way to not change your game is to avoid these sensations at all costs.  Stay as comfortable as humanly possible.  Do not do anything to disrupt the status quo.

Because if you really want to change your game, you need to strap yourself in for a wild emotional ride.

Regular bouts of fear, discomfort, anxiety and confusion are proof positive that you’re on the game-changing path and finding the edges of your potential.

If you’re too comfortable, you’re likely not doing anything remotely near game-changing.   More like channel-changing.  Or channel-surfing.  (You get the idea.)

Changing your game kicks up some intense emotions.

Expect regular “Am I crazy??” thoughts and all the lovely iterations of self-doubt that follow.  You may even ruffle some feathers or outgrow some relationships along the way.

Don’t try to control these emotions, ‘get over them’ or in any way deny what you’re experiencing.   It’s OK.  You’re human.

Just like the rest of us.

When it comes to intense emotions, the trick is to fully feel them without getting dramatic or retreating back into safety.

Fear, discomfort and confusion are strong indicators you’re in the midst of massive growth.  Intense emotions only serve as a reminder that you’re alive and engaged in something that really matters to you.

And as Richard Branson says, “The brave may not live forever – but the cautious do not live at all!”

So let’s make the rubber meet the road here, shall we?

First, run a quick self-assement on the above three points.   Are you in the fast lane headed towards keep-your-game-exactly-as-it-is-land?  If yes, make any necessary adjustments to get back on your game-changing path now.

Second, once headed in the right direction, help the the rest of us out by adding to this list.  Got a good game-changing stalling tactic?  A dead-end strategy we should all look out for?   Anything you’ve seen or done not  to change your game?

Leave a comment here – we’re interested.

Marie Forleo is the founder of Rich, Happy & Hot: Global training for women entrepreneurs who want more money, influence and social impact. She’s a bestselling author, Nike Elite Athlete and recently, the first woman entrepreneur Tony Robbins interviewed for his acclaimed “New Money Masters” DVD program.  Learn more and download her popular, and controversial, training call: The 8 Biggest Mistakes Even Smart Women Make In Business…And How To Avoid Them.”

If you don’t want to miss out on the 30 Days to Changing Your Game, please sign up here.

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