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You Don't Have to Die to Live [Day 21 – 28 Days to GYST]

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Welcome to Week #4! ! Can you believe this is Day 21 of 28 Days to Getting Your Sh*t Together.  Friday, Reese Spykerman knocked it out of the park with “One True Voice”. Today, one of my oldest “twitter friends, Danny Brown,  shares a story that will stop your heart, and then start it again. I am touched beyond measure that he’s chosen to share it here, with you.

You Don’t Have to Die to Live

By: Danny Brown | @DannyBrown

When I was 19 I tried to kill myself.

I don’t often speak about this. It’s probably not the kind of topic you talk about at dinner, or on a first date, or when you meet prospective in-laws.

Sometimes, though, it’s a good reminder that even dark turns to light, and the follies of youth can make a huge impact on the paths we take as adults. I know this was the case for me, as it made me face my demons. Maybe it’ll help you too.

That year was a pretty crappy one for me.

The dog that we’d have for thirteen years died. Sam had seen me through all my school years and had been my best friend. Unfortunately, dog cancer doesn’t really care for friendships, as I found it.

My cousin was also killed whilst on a military patrol in Northern Ireland. It was his first active duty as a soldier, and his unit were ambushed while on night patrol. Three men were killed, and my cousin was one. He was just 18 years old.

My first serious girlfriend also left me. We’d been together two years and, like any teenager high on hormones, I thought it was the real thing. I didn’t know Coca-Cola had already trademarked that term, which meant that my real thing was nothing of the sort.

So, um, yeah – a pretty shitty year.

Tipping the Waterfall

I’m not really sure what the snapping point was. I mean, you don’t usually try and kill yourself just because you’re upset – it’s normally a more depression-led act, no? Or maybe it isn’t – I failed, so I’m not the world’s best person to offer a perspective on it.

Whatever it was, it led to me downing a bottle of scotch and a jar of the finest sleeping tablets, and getting ready to see if there was anything on the other side.

Except I didn’t make it to the other side.

My sister found me, dialed an ambulance, and with about thirteen minutes of my life left, my stomach was lying on the floor of one of Scotland’s many hospitals. Unlucky thirteen? Depends how you look at it.

Initially, I felt sorry for myself. I didn’t want to be alive – wasn’t that the whole reason I’d spent a big chunk of my pitiful labourer’s wage on the best scotch? Why was I in a hospital ward when instead I wanted to be on a hospital trolley on the way to the morgue?

My parents were the ones that brought me round and showed me that you don’t need to die to live.

We hadn’t been close up until then. We were the typical nuclear family, except we were also the typical first-generation satellite television family as well, and TV was our dinner conversation.

But after that day in my twentieth year, things changed.

Generation Gap?

My mother was amazing. She opened up and told me a lot of things about herself that I had no idea about.

How she’d considered taking her own life at around the same age as I was now, when she found out she was pregnant. A teenager, pregnant to a married man, and living with the extremely religious people that were my grandparents.

She needn’t have worried – my grandparents turned out to be amazing and supportive, and my mother had the baby. To this day I still think that’s why I loved my grandparents the way I did – they gave me the chance of life.

My mother helped me overcome my sadness. She helped me remember my cousin and think about the way he lived, and not how he died. She helped me choose just the right dog to honour the memory of Sam, as opposed to forgetting him.

She also helped me understand that first loves are the ones you fondly remember; but very rarely the ones you reminisce with.

And it was because of all this that my mum helped me finish University, and get the degree that would shape my life.

Get Busy Living Or Get Busy Dying

Thanks to my education, I’ve been fortunate to work at some of the most amazing companies around. The business education I got at these companies gave me the skills I needed to start working for myself a few years back.

That decision – and the unflinching support of my wife and friends – saw me hook up with an amazing guy called Troy Claus and start our own marketing agency last year. While there are still hiccups, life is pretty good – I feel very fortunate.

But I also know that it took a lot of hard work and the realization that things don’t always work out the way we want them to – but that’s okay.

Life is often shit, and it kicks us hard in places we don’t want to be kicked (unless that’s your thing, then kick away).

But we can kick it right back.

We have a choice, every single day. We have the ability to live, or to die. Not die in the physical sense – we don’t have a choice there. But every victory we let slip away, we die. Every moment we can grab but let go of, we die.

But that can stop now.

So. Take a pen and a journal, and sit down and begin writing. Uninterrupted. Until you’ve finished what you need to say.

●     Make a list of every single thing you’ve let go and cross off the ones you had no choice in.

●     Prioritize the remainder and put the ones that are still affecting you now to the top.

●     Pick the most prominent entry on the list, and make that your personal nemesis.

●     Research what you need to do to beat this enemy. Google is your friend, but your friends are your Google too – ask if any of them have had to overcome a similar challenge. To do this, you’re going to need to leave pride at the door.

●     Make a battle plan of small victories. Be realistic, but be rigorous with the timescale you want to afford this nemesis.

●     Get the support of friends, and family (and professionals, where needed), and view your nemesis as the single thing that can give you life; but to do so, it has to die.

I won’t lie – it’s not going to be easy. You’ll have to overcome some fears, demons and other personal pride stuff along the way. But nothing great ever comes easy.

Dying is easy – our breathing just stops. Living? That’s hard – because from the moment we’re born, we’re forcing ourselves to take another breath every second.

Then again, there’s not  a lot you can accomplish when you’re dead – and you don’t have to die to prove that.

Ready to start on that list?

Danny is co-founder and partner at Bonsai Interactive Marketing, offering integrated marketing, social media, digital and mobile marketing solutions and applications. His blog is featured in the AdAge Power 150 list as well as Canada’s Top 50 Marketing Blogs, and won the Hive Award for Best Social Media Blog at the 2010 South by South West festival. He is also founder of the 12for12k Challenge, a social media-led charity initiative that’s raised more than $100,000 since January 2009. Follow Danny on Twitter at @DannyBrown.

>> Over 500 people are so committed to getting their sh*t together in
February that they are getting a DAILY email from me. And new people are
STILL joining!!It’s not too
late to join them for a kick-ass month!
http://ow.ly/3SszM<<

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  • I’m glad you didn’t die…and I’m glad I didn’t either. Three years ago, I was ready to do the same thing. Because of my own selfish decisions, I lost everything that was meaningful in my life.

    I just couldn’t see any reason to live.

    The truth is…it was easier to die than to fight my way back to the life that I truly longed for. Thankfully, several friends were willing to walk with me through the hell of getting the help I needed and finding a new path. It’s amazing how family and friends are willing to step up to help in moments of pain when we’re (I’m) willing to be honest about how we’re struggling.

    Three friends and a therapist saved my life.

    • Hi there David,

      Thanks for sharing your own experience. It’s funny how often it only takes a small amount to make a big difference, huh? If someone had said they’re going into battle with just four foot soldiers beside them, you’d probably think they were in for a quick beating.

      But as you show, four people can be the biggest army anyone needs. Cheers!

  • I’m glad you didn’t die…and I’m glad I didn’t either. Three years ago, I was ready to do the same thing. Because of my own selfish decisions, I lost everything that was meaningful in my life.

    I just couldn’t see any reason to live.

    The truth is…it was easier to die than to fight my way back to the life that I truly longed for. Thankfully, several friends were willing to walk with me through the hell of getting the help I needed and finding a new path. It’s amazing how family and friends are willing to step up to help in moments of pain when we’re (I’m) willing to be honest about how we’re struggling.

    Three friends and a therapist saved my life.

    • Hi there David,

      Thanks for sharing your own experience. It’s funny how often it only takes a small amount to make a big difference, huh? If someone had said they’re going into battle with just four foot soldiers beside them, you’d probably think they were in for a quick beating.

      But as you show, four people can be the biggest army anyone needs. Cheers!

  • Twice. Eighteen and nineteen.

    Obviously since I’m typing this, someone did for me what your mother did for you. I learned how to honor rather than mourn, just as you have. Looking backwards does you no good, especially when you’re looking back on something like that.

    Everyone has their own enemies, and everyone can overcome them. We have to. Otherwise we aren’t really in charge of our own lives, and when you’re not in control of your own life, you cannot get your shit together.

    Thank you so much for sharing your story, Danny. Its one of many I’m sure I will never forget.

    • Hey there Mark,

      I know you! 😉 That’s a great train of thought: “… when you’re not in control of your own life, you cannot get your shit together.”

      Even if we all just take that one tiny step led by gut feeling, it can snowball into something amazing. Here’s to non-winter snowballs, mate.

      • Sherrickmark

        I know you too! What a coincidence…lol

        I am glad as well. Had I left, I would have missed so much. Life is good. LIVE IT.

        As for the quote, its shamelessly stolen from the whole idea of this months posts. I borrow a lot of verbiage from Sarah and she kindly turns her cheek.

  • Twice. Eighteen and nineteen.

    Obviously since I’m typing this, someone did for me what your mother did for you. I learned how to honor rather than mourn, just as you have. Looking backwards does you no good, especially when you’re looking back on something like that.

    Everyone has their own enemies, and everyone can overcome them. We have to. Otherwise we aren’t really in charge of our own lives, and when you’re not in control of your own life, you cannot get your shit together.

    Thank you so much for sharing your story, Danny. Its one of many I’m sure I will never forget.

    • Hey there Mark,

      I know you! 😉 That’s a great train of thought: “… when you’re not in control of your own life, you cannot get your shit together.”

      Even if we all just take that one tiny step led by gut feeling, it can snowball into something amazing. Here’s to non-winter snowballs, mate, and glad you took the decision to continue to be here with us.

      • Sherrickmark

        I know you too! What a coincidence…lol

        I am glad as well. Had I left, I would have missed so much. Life is good. LIVE IT.

        As for the quote, its shamelessly stolen from the whole idea of this months posts. I borrow a lot of verbiage from Sarah and she kindly turns her cheek.

  • Jen

    Thanks for sharing your story. I know we all have our moments that are similar to what you were experiencing and it really does come down to choice – living isn’t always the easy choice, but definitely necessary! Imagine what we would be missing without you.

    • Hi Jen,

      And that’s the thing. All the amazing life experiences I’ve been lucky enough to enjoy since (even the crappy ones!) have made me a far better and stronger person than I was 20 years ago. And I can’t ask for much more than that. 🙂

  • Jen

    Thanks for sharing your story. I know we all have our moments that are similar to what you were experiencing and it really does come down to choice – living isn’t always the easy choice, but definitely necessary! Imagine what we would be missing without you.

    • Hi Jen,

      And that’s the thing. All the amazing life experiences I’ve been lucky enough to enjoy since (even the crappy ones!) have made me a far better and stronger person than I was 20 years ago. And I can’t ask for much more than that. 🙂

  • What’s behind the gravatars we see daily is profoundly human, Danny, and one we rarely glimpse. Your story here and others I’ve read about your history can be taken many ways. How I will regard what you’ve offered is with gratitude. None of us in this life will ascend without ardor; those who almost make it to the top are the ones most likely to succeed because they will remember the path behind as one to shape the future. I applaud your bravery with a heart-felt thank you.

    • Hi there Jayme,

      It’s funny how often we see people but we don’t see them. Not that there’s anything wrong with that – but it’s nice to see inside that person sometimes. I know the folks I’ve met offline after connecting online have had some incredible tales to tell, and they’ve made me a better person for it.

      Not comparing that to here – but as you say, avatars can often be a small part of the person. Here’s to us all getting to know those we “know” better. 🙂

  • What’s behind the gravatars we see daily is profoundly human, Danny, and one we rarely glimpse. Your story here and others I’ve read about your history can be taken many ways. How I will regard what you’ve offered is with gratitude. None of us in this life will ascend without ardor; those who almost make it to the top are the ones most likely to succeed because they will remember the path behind as one to shape the future. I applaud your bravery with a heart-felt thank you.

    • Hi there Jayme,

      It’s funny how often we see people but we don’t see them. Not that there’s anything wrong with that – but it’s nice to see inside that person sometimes. I know the folks I’ve met offline after connecting online have had some incredible tales to tell, and they’ve made me a better person for it.

      Not comparing that to here – but as you say, avatars can often be a small part of the person. Here’s to us all getting to know those we “know” better. 🙂

  • Hi, Danny,

    Thanks for telling your story. You have re-affirmed two very important lessons for me.

    1) No one can live a vibrant life in isolation. We really do need each other. It is so vitally important that we surround ourselves with people who can and are willing to support us as we struggle with the often overwhelming challenges in life. No one who has ever achieved any real success in life has done so alone.

    2) Procrastination is the slowest and most agonizing form of suicide in existence. Procrastination is usually rooted in fear and it prevents us from seizing the great opportunities in life. Every time we yield to it, a part of us dies. Eventually, if done often enough the end result is cynicism and bitterness. We become part of the living dead.

    These are lessons I constantly need to be reminded of and today you reminded me of these in a very powerful way. Thank you. I’m very glad you didn’t succeed and went on to live your 20th year. May you have many more great ones to come.

    • Ellen Shapiro

      good point, especially about procrastination being a form of slow suicide. I reached a point this fall where I realized that the massive energy of actions and decisions I was procrastinating on, was the biggest obstacle and dragging me into a rapidly moving downward spiral.

      • Glad you recognized your procrastination, Ellen – so many don’t and (sadly) miss out on so much potential greatness it’s scary. Here’s to your continued awareness. 🙂

      • The cool thing is that once we start taking even little steps of action, the big obstacles eventually disappear. Now if I could just learn to remember that. 🙂

        • Ellen Shapiro

          yeah, the little day by day steps, that’s the ticket man..

    • Kristin

      Agree with you on both points. We need others to thrive and to live up to our potential. What’s the point of being great if nobody knows it?

      Like the way you put procrastination as a slow suicide because it sucks up our energy to do the things we really want to do. Will keep that in mind.

      • The great thing too about potential, Kristin, is that if we’re doing great things, more than likely others will hear about it. And while we may not hear it ourselves, the actions taken because of what we started are the real rewards, anyway. 🙂

        • This reminds me of the whole “butterfly effect” theory — butterfly flaps its wings in Tiwan and the effect is a hurricane in Florida. Even our little efforts may lead to blessing someone completely unrelated to us because of the connections we’ve made and the action we took. Things we’ll never know about, but worth the world.

          • Couldn’t agree more, David. That’s how the genesis of my 12for12k project came about – a little old lady in a cafe that never even knew I was there. But through her, and how she made me think of certain things, something big in my life happened. For that, I can never thank her enough – and she’ll probably never even know.

          • That, Danny, is awesome! I love hearing about stuff like that. Those kind of stories are so inspiring. 🙂

          • Ellen Shapiro

            yes, it is not up to us to know the ripples of the stones we cast…

      • Hi, Kristin,

        I just got done reading a book titled “Never Eat Alone” by Keith Ferrazzi. Great book about how we really do need each other and how to connect with people well. Highly recommended.

        • Kristin

          Thanks for the recommendation! I will check it out. The title already intrigues me.

    • LOVE your lessons about living in isolation and procrastination. Thank you for sharing.

      • Hi, Dana,

        You might want to check out the book I told Kristin about, “Never Eat Alone” by Keith Ferrazzi. Lots of great stuff about making connections and asking for help. Really good book.

    • Hi Dave,

      So very true. Whenever I think I can do something better myself, I think of all the people that I admire and the network that they’re part of (or have fostered). And you can bet none of them are “vain” enough to think they’re the font of all knowledge! 😉

      Procrastination is the biggest killer of initiative and innovation – it should be struck from the dictionary and replaced with thoughtful preparation instead. 😉

      Cheers for the kid words, sir, much appreciated.

      • You’re welcome, Danny. I truly appreciate what you shared. I felt that it very much came from your heart and it contains much wisdom. 🙂

  • Hi, Danny,

    Thanks for telling your story. You have re-affirmed two very important lessons for me.

    1) No one can live a vibrant life in isolation. We really do need each other. It is so vitally important that we surround ourselves with people who can and are willing to support us as we struggle with the often overwhelming challenges in life. No one who has ever achieved any real success in life has done so alone.

    2) Procrastination is the slowest and most agonizing form of suicide in existence. Procrastination is usually rooted in fear and it prevents us from seizing the great opportunities in life. Every time we yield to it, a part of us dies. Eventually, if done often enough the end result is cynicism and bitterness. We become part of the living dead.

    These are lessons I constantly need to be reminded of and today you reminded me of these in a very powerful way. Thank you. I’m very glad you didn’t succeed and went on to live your 20th year. May you have many more great ones to come.

    • Ellen Shapiro

      good point, especially about procrastination being a form of slow suicide. I reached a point this fall where I realized that the massive energy of actions and decisions I was procrastinating on, was the biggest obstacle and dragging me into a rapidly moving downward spiral.

      • Glad you recognized your procrastination, Ellen – so many don’t and (sadly) miss out on so much potential greatness it’s scary. Here’s to your continued awareness. 🙂

      • The cool thing is that once we start taking even little steps of action, the big obstacles eventually disappear. Now if I could just learn to remember that. 🙂

        • Ellen Shapiro

          yeah, the little day by day steps, that’s the ticket man..

    • Kristin

      Agree with you on both points. We need others to thrive and to live up to our potential. What’s the point of being great if nobody knows it?

      Like the way you put procrastination as a slow suicide because it sucks up our energy to do the things we really want to do. Will keep that in mind.

      • The great thing too about potential, Kristin, is that if we’re doing great things, more than likely others will hear about it. And while we may not hear it ourselves, the actions taken because of what we started are the real rewards, anyway. 🙂

        • This reminds me of the whole “butterfly effect” theory — butterfly flaps its wings in Tiwan and the effect is a hurricane in Florida. Even our little efforts may lead to blessing someone completely unrelated to us because of the connections we’ve made and the action we took. Things we’ll never know about, but worth the world.

          • Couldn’t agree more, David. That’s how the genesis of my 12for12k project came about – a little old lady in a cafe that never even knew I was there. But through her, and how she made me think of certain things, something big in my life happened. For that, I can never thank her enough – and she’ll probably never even know.

          • That, Danny, is awesome! I love hearing about stuff like that. Those kind of stories are so inspiring. 🙂

          • Ellen Shapiro

            yes, it is not up to us to know the ripples of the stones we cast…

      • Hi, Kristin,

        I just got done reading a book titled “Never Eat Alone” by Keith Ferrazzi. Great book about how we really do need each other and how to connect with people well. Highly recommended.

        • Kristin

          Thanks for the recommendation! I will check it out. The title already intrigues me.

    • LOVE your lessons about living in isolation and procrastination. Thank you for sharing.

      • Hi, Dana,

        You might want to check out the book I told Kristin about, “Never Eat Alone” by Keith Ferrazzi. Lots of great stuff about making connections and asking for help. Really good book.

    • Hi Dave,

      So very true. Whenever I think I can do something better myself, I think of all the people that I admire and the network that they’re part of (or have fostered). And you can bet none of them are “vain” enough to think they’re the font of all knowledge! 😉

      Procrastination is the biggest killer of initiative and innovation – it should be struck from the dictionary and replaced with thoughtful preparation instead. 😉

      Cheers for the kid words, sir, much appreciated.

      • You’re welcome, Danny. I truly appreciate what you shared. I felt that it very much came from your heart and it contains much wisdom. 🙂

  • “Dying is easy – our breathing just stops. Living? That’s hard”

    Your story is amazing. It is living that is hard! Glad you did and then chose to keep doing it!

    I have looked that demon in the eye as well – and I chose to live despite incredible physical pain.

    And in a way – am looking at it now too. I am facing the fact that doing what I love means doing what I fear the most – putting myself out there and asking for the business. Facing the fear of failure.

    Your message has really helped! I can choose to NOT do it but that would be like ‘dying’. It will kill the fire in me, snuff out the life I want to live – but it would be ‘easier’.

    Or, I can do the thing that is hard – and really live. I know what I am going to choose 🙂

    • Hi there Holly,

      Sounds like you’re facing some bug demons yourself – great to see that you’re facing them head-on and asking them to give you the best they’ve got. Because at the end of the day, even if you just have one ounce of strength left in you, that can be enough to kick what ails you where it hurts.

      Besides, it’s always nice to look back once you’ve conquered fears and smile, and ask, “Was that it?!?” 😉

  • “Dying is easy – our breathing just stops. Living? That’s hard”

    Your story is amazing. It is living that is hard! Glad you did and then chose to keep doing it!

    I have looked that demon in the eye as well – and I chose to live despite incredible physical pain.

    And in a way – am looking at it now too. I am facing the fact that doing what I love means doing what I fear the most – putting myself out there and asking for the business. Facing the fear of failure.

    Your message has really helped! I can choose to NOT do it but that would be like ‘dying’. It will kill the fire in me, snuff out the life I want to live – but it would be ‘easier’.

    Or, I can do the thing that is hard – and really live. I know what I am going to choose 🙂

    • Hi there Holly,

      Sounds like you’re facing some bug demons yourself – great to see that you’re facing them head-on and asking them to give you the best they’ve got. Because at the end of the day, even if you just have one ounce of strength left in you, that can be enough to kick what ails you where it hurts.

      Besides, it’s always nice to look back once you’ve conquered fears and smile, and ask, “Was that it?!?” 😉

  • Sarah Baron

    Dear Danny,
    We are all made up of our own stories, those situations that shape us. Yours is inspiring, human, and real.

    Every day I teach my children, “Your attitude is your decision.” They have a choice.

    I can see the choices you’ve made since your low point. And your story is inspiring….

    Sincerely yours,
    Sarah Baron
    Anonymous8

    • “Every day I teach my children, “Your attitude is your decision.” They have a choice.”

      LOVE it, Sarah, and so very true. No one ever succeeded by having a crap attitude. Might just have to borrow this for my inspiration wall – thank you. 🙂

    • Hi, Sarah,

      I’m right there with Danny. I love that you teach your children about having a good attitude. That’s one of the greatest gifts you could ever give them.

  • Sarah Baron

    Dear Danny,
    We are all made up of our own stories, those situations that shape us. Yours is inspiring, human, and real.

    Every day I teach my children, “Your attitude is your decision.” They have a choice.

    I can see the choices you’ve made since your low point. And your story is inspiring….

    Sincerely yours,
    Sarah Baron
    Anonymous8

    • “Every day I teach my children, “Your attitude is your decision.” They have a choice.”

      LOVE it, Sarah, and so very true. No one ever succeeded by having a crap attitude. Might just have to borrow this for my inspiration wall – thank you. 🙂

    • Hi, Sarah,

      I’m right there with Danny. I love that you teach your children about having a good attitude. That’s one of the greatest gifts you could ever give them.

  • Danny, wow, what honesty. So much appreciation for your sharing from your life experience. I also had a crossroads in my life when I hit rock bottom, knocked to me knees. Painful, but the most important moment of my life, it was then I got what true ‘choice’ is. To choose my life fully as it is, I stay anchored in profound gratitude for each moment NOW, even the ones that suck. Because today I do have choice to take in the Love that surrounds me, and to take action, by being fully alive, no matter what. Beautiful reminder, you touched my heart.

    • Hi Callahan (wonderful name, by the way!),

      I love the fact that you can be thankful even for the negative things too. So many ignore this, and feel negativity (in whatever form it might be) is a bad thing.

      But if we don’t understand negativity and what makes it that way, we can’t then run with the opposite approach to knock negativity on the head. That’s when negativity wins – and who wants that? 😉

      Thanks again, and here’s to kicking negativity into touch.

    • Kristin

      Like your attitude that a painful moment was an important part of who you are today. I think that we need challenges and negative experiences to bring out the best in us. Living through them and overcoming them makes us stronger. You always know what you went through and can tap into this power knowing you can overcome any hurdle within your control.

  • Danny, wow, what honesty. So much appreciation for your sharing from your life experience. I also had a crossroads in my life when I hit rock bottom, knocked to me knees. Painful, but the most important moment of my life, it was then I got what true ‘choice’ is. To choose my life fully as it is, I stay anchored in profound gratitude for each moment NOW, even the ones that suck. Because today I do have choice to take in the Love that surrounds me, and to take action, by being fully alive, no matter what. Beautiful reminder, you touched my heart.

    • Hi Callahan (wonderful name, by the way!),

      I love the fact that you can be thankful even for the negative things too. So many ignore this, and feel negativity (in whatever form it might be) is a bad thing.

      But if we don’t understand negativity and what makes it that way, we can’t then run with the opposite approach to knock negativity on the head. That’s when negativity wins – and who wants that? 😉

      Thanks again, and here’s to kicking negativity into touch.

    • Kristin

      Like your attitude that a painful moment was an important part of who you are today. I think that we need challenges and negative experiences to bring out the best in us. Living through them and overcoming them makes us stronger. You always know what you went through and can tap into this power knowing you can overcome any hurdle within your control.

  • Ellen Shapiro

    Thanks for your revealing and inspiring story….and how wonderful that your family opened up to you in support. I’ve been at that point several times in my life, most recently after a partner died, friends had moved away, spiritual community gone…I was getting close, and then one morning in meditation I heard a voice inside that said, “Put a root down. Reach down inside and find that seed of life, make a decision to live, and put a root down..or you will be leaving too.” I remember that moment very clearly. And I remember saying “Yes, I will do that. Even though at this point there really seems no reason to live and would it matter to anyone if I weren’t here anymore. I will do it in faith.” Little steps, over years…that was 2006 and there have still been touch and go moments…but now for me a whole new cycle of life is beginning. It’s so great when we have others to lift us up..but for me at this stage of my life, there were no parents, partner, teacher or therapist in that moment..just me with my inner connection to Source.

    • Hi Ellen,

      That’s the beauty of understanding and strength, isn’t it? Knowing that while there might not be a physical support network around at a time we need it, often the non-physical is enough to get us through until the physical aspect comes back along. Which it invariably does.

      Here’s to your continued strength and support, physical or otherwise.

    • I, for one, Ellen, am glad you’re here and sharing your insights with us. Connection to Source is so vital to a good and deep life. I’m glad you’ve put down your roots and have included us. 🙂

      • Ellen Shapiro

        Thank you both for your sweet replies, Danny and David. I have to smile at your names..Danny is my brother’s name (we are estranged) and David was my wonderful engineer-turned-sculptor uncle. It is amazing to me how heart-connected I can feel to people here who I’ve never met on or off line..we’re sharing deeply here. Wow.

  • Ellen Shapiro

    Thanks for your revealing and inspiring story….and how wonderful that your family opened up to you in support. I’ve been at that point several times in my life, most recently after a partner died, friends had moved away, spiritual community gone…I was getting close, and then one morning in meditation I heard a voice inside that said, “Put a root down. Reach down inside and find that seed of life, make a decision to live, and put a root down..or you will be leaving too.” I remember that moment very clearly. And I remember saying “Yes, I will do that. Even though at this point there really seems no reason to live and would it matter to anyone if I weren’t here anymore. I will do it in faith.” Little steps, over years…that was 2006 and there have still been touch and go moments…but now for me a whole new cycle of life is beginning. It’s so great when we have others to lift us up..but for me at this stage of my life, there were no parents, partner, teacher or therapist in that moment..just me with my inner connection to Source.

    • Hi Ellen,

      That’s the beauty of understanding and strength, isn’t it? Knowing that while there might not be a physical support network around at a time we need it, often the non-physical is enough to get us through until the physical aspect comes back along. Which it invariably does.

      Here’s to your continued strength and support, physical or otherwise.

    • I, for one, Ellen, am glad you’re here and sharing your insights with us. Connection to Source is so vital to a good and deep life. I’m glad you’ve put down your roots and have included us. 🙂

      • Ellen Shapiro

        Thank you both for your sweet replies, Danny and David. I have to smile at your names..Danny is my brother’s name (we are estranged) and David was my wonderful engineer-turned-sculptor uncle. It is amazing to me how heart-connected I can feel to people here who I’ve never met on or off line..we’re sharing deeply here. Wow.

  • Danny,

    Thank you for sharing such a private, personal story with us. Such a powerful reminder that the people who we admire, who we think have “made it” are, first and foremost, human beings. And, therefore, susceptible to the same things we are. The world could be a much better place if we could remember that.

    So many things about your post struck me and stuck with me. I’ll only comment on the part that feels most significant in this moment.

    “Life is often shit, and it kicks us hard in places we don’t want to be kicked (unless that’s your thing, then kick away).” It seems an odd thing to say, but I think we could all be much more content if we remembered this. We like to think we have control over so many things that we don’t have control over. I suppose it makes us feel safer in some way. But, believing that also leaves us feeling so many other, unnecessary, often damaging things. Like:

    * I could have done something to stop so-and-so from hating me.
    * I could have done something to make so-and-so love me.
    * It’s so-and-so’s fault that that horrible thing happened to him/her.
    * If so-and-so thought differently, they’d have more or less

    Believing things like those noted above tend to make us very judgmental – of ourselves and of others. It also denies us the ability to make different choices.

    When I was at my lowest (and, like others here, it was pretty damn low), surrendering was the best thing I could do for myself. I don’t mean I gave up or gave in. I surrendered the illusion that I could control everything. It was scary at first, but I soon realized that, as you so eloquently said, “Life is often shit,…” Once I gave up the idea that I could control it all, I could more easily see what I *could* control. And, that, my friend, is where the real power lies. At least it does for me.

    I now spend less time & energy trying to control the things I have no control over. That doesn’t mean I just quietly accept things that hurt or disappoint me. I allow myself to rage against or cry over things. I am human after all. But, I can accept the lack of control while raging/crying at the same time. That allows me to eventually move on to the “So, what are you going to do about it?” phase – the “Get busy living…” part.

    Again, many thanks for sharing a bit about your personal low point. Knowing that others have been through dark times and have found a way through them is so inspiring.

    Hugs and love to you!

    • Kristin

      You nicely summed up the serenity prayer, Kellie: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.” We can only do so much – but give that our best.

      • I wasn’t even thinking about that as I typed my response, Kristin. But, I can see that you are exactly right. That’s pretty much what I was saying – but with a lot more words. Laughing at that because my husband teases me about being “context heavy” which is his kind way of saying I use a lot of words sometimes. 🙂

        Thanks so much for pointing out that connection for me!

    • Hi Kellie,

      I LOVE your mindset and approach! Like you say, we could get all morbid and mopey about the stuff that we can’t control. We could waste precious energy on trying to find ways to control that stuff, even though deep down it’s a waste of time. Pride and stubbornness are great bed partners, but very rarely good ones to have a sleepover with. 😉

      Agree completely with you – take ownership of that which you can control; invite others in to share with you; accept that some things just aren’t meant to happen; and you can be pretty sure you’re going to be the richer for it.

      Thanks, Kellie. 🙂

      • Thanks so much, Danny. That is high praise!

        Love the line about pride and stubbornness making great bed partners. I’m thinking they are perfect for each other and should have an exclusive, monogamous relationship… and leave the rest of us alone! Well, I suppose it’s the other way around. We should recognize & respect their commitment to each other, and WE should leave THEM alone. 😉

        Thanks again for sharing and starting such a meaningful conversation with the GYST Hooligan Tribe.

  • Danny,

    Thank you for sharing such a private, personal story with us. Such a powerful reminder that the people who we admire, who we think have “made it” are, first and foremost, human beings. And, therefore, susceptible to the same things we are. The world could be a much better place if we could remember that.

    So many things about your post struck me and stuck with me. I’ll only comment on the part that feels most significant in this moment.

    “Life is often shit, and it kicks us hard in places we don’t want to be kicked (unless that’s your thing, then kick away).” It seems an odd thing to say, but I think we could all be much more content if we remembered this. We like to think we have control over so many things that we don’t have control over. I suppose it makes us feel safer in some way. But, believing that also leaves us feeling so many other, unnecessary, often damaging things. Like:

    * I could have done something to stop so-and-so from hating me.
    * I could have done something to make so-and-so love me.
    * It’s so-and-so’s fault that that horrible thing happened to him/her.
    * If so-and-so thought differently, they’d have more or less

    Believing things like those noted above tend to make us very judgmental – of ourselves and of others. It also denies us the ability to make different choices.

    When I was at my lowest (and, like others here, it was pretty damn low), surrendering was the best thing I could do for myself. I don’t mean I gave up or gave in. I surrendered the illusion that I could control everything. It was scary at first, but I soon realized that, as you so eloquently said, “Life is often shit,…” Once I gave up the idea that I could control it all, I could more easily see what I *could* control. And, that, my friend, is where the real power lies. At least it does for me.

    I now spend less time & energy trying to control the things I have no control over. That doesn’t mean I just quietly accept things that hurt or disappoint me. I allow myself to rage against or cry over things. I am human after all. But, I can accept the lack of control while raging/crying at the same time. That allows me to eventually move on to the “So, what are you going to do about it?” phase – the “Get busy living…” part.

    Again, many thanks for sharing a bit about your personal low point. Knowing that others have been through dark times and have found a way through them is so inspiring.

    Hugs and love to you!

    • Kristin

      You nicely summed up the serenity prayer, Kellie: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.” We can only do so much – but give that our best.

      • I wasn’t even thinking about that as I typed my response, Kristin. But, I can see that you are exactly right. That’s pretty much what I was saying – but with a lot more words. Laughing at that because my husband teases me about being “context heavy” which is his kind way of saying I use a lot of words sometimes. 🙂

        Thanks so much for pointing out that connection for me!

    • Hi Kellie,

      I LOVE your mindset and approach! Like you say, we could get all morbid and mopey about the stuff that we can’t control. We could waste precious energy on trying to find ways to control that stuff, even though deep down it’s a waste of time. Pride and stubbornness are great bed partners, but very rarely good ones to have a sleepover with. 😉

      Agree completely with you – take ownership of that which you can control; invite others in to share with you; accept that some things just aren’t meant to happen; and you can be pretty sure you’re going to be the richer for it.

      Thanks, Kellie. 🙂

      • Thanks so much, Danny. That is high praise!

        Love the line about pride and stubbornness making great bed partners. I’m thinking they are perfect for each other and should have an exclusive, monogamous relationship… and leave the rest of us alone! Well, I suppose it’s the other way around. We should recognize & respect their commitment to each other, and WE should leave THEM alone. 😉

        Thanks again for sharing and starting such a meaningful conversation with the GYST Hooligan Tribe.

  • Danny – thank you for sharing so much of yourself and your ‘backstory’. One of my brothers attempted suicide when he was 17 and, with lots of support and love from family and friends, created a purposeful, meaning-filled life. Ironically, he lost his life in a car accident 4 years later – but the good he did, the lives he touched, and the difference he made in those short four years proved that he had truly made the CHOICE to really “show up” and live every single day.

    I, for one, am very thankful you’re still here. The world is definitely a better place with you in it.

    • Hi Dana,

      Thank you so much for the kind words, I appreciate them. I’m sorry to hear about your brother – but like you say, the difference he made in these four years since he could have “given up” will probably leave a far longer-lasting and more positive aspect than had he not been here for that time.

      We never know when it will all end – but if we can look back when it does end, and can say we made a difference in the lives around us, there’s not a lot more we can ask for. Here’s to your brother’s continued influence.

  • Danny – thank you for sharing so much of yourself and your ‘backstory’. One of my brothers attempted suicide when he was 17 and, with lots of support and love from family and friends, created a purposeful, meaning-filled life. Ironically, he lost his life in a car accident 4 years later – but the good he did, the lives he touched, and the difference he made in those short four years proved that he had truly made the CHOICE to really “show up” and live every single day.

    I, for one, am very thankful you’re still here. The world is definitely a better place with you in it.

    • Hi Dana,

      Thank you so much for the kind words, I appreciate them. I’m sorry to hear about your brother – but like you say, the difference he made in these four years since he could have “given up” will probably leave a far longer-lasting and more positive aspect than had he not been here for that time.

      We never know when it will all end – but if we can look back when it does end, and can say we made a difference in the lives around us, there’s not a lot more we can ask for. Here’s to your brother’s continued influence.

  • Kristin

    Thank you so much for sharing, Danny! You lived what Pace and Reese posted last week – being authentic and sharing your story. Reading through all the comments I noticed that everyone else opened up too and dared to talk about the ‘unspeakable’.

    You are so right that living is the hard part, not dying. We all have struggles along the way but how we deal with them makes a huge difference. You chose to face your demons and conquer them. And now they are part of your story but they are no longer all of you. That’s the inspiration I take from your post.

    • Hi Kristin,

      Reese is an amazing person, so inspiring. I’ve been bookmarking each “episode”, if you like, to read as a “whole” when it’s complete.

      I think that’s the great thing about what Sarah has put together here. If we can all feel safe in opening up because it’s with people that just want to grow and share with each other, then it can only help each of us in the long run. And that (to me) is much more valued than being quiet and hoping we can do what we need to get by.

      Thanks again, Kristin. 🙂

      • Kristin

        Couldn’t agree more. Sarah has put together an amazing tribe in which everyone supports each other. Thanks, Sarah!

  • Kristin

    Thank you so much for sharing, Danny! You lived what Pace and Reese posted last week – being authentic and sharing your story. Reading through all the comments I noticed that everyone else opened up too and dared to talk about the ‘unspeakable’.

    You are so right that living is the hard part, not dying. We all have struggles along the way but how we deal with them makes a huge difference. You chose to face your demons and conquer them. And now they are part of your story but they are no longer all of you. That’s the inspiration I take from your post.

    • Hi Kristin,

      Reese is an amazing person, so inspiring. I’ve been bookmarking each “episode”, if you like, to read as a “whole” when it’s complete.

      I think that’s the great thing about what Sarah has put together here. If we can all feel safe in opening up because it’s with people that just want to grow and share with each other, then it can only help each of us in the long run. And that (to me) is much more valued than being quiet and hoping we can do what we need to get by.

      Thanks again, Kristin. 🙂

      • Kristin

        Couldn’t agree more. Sarah has put together an amazing tribe in which everyone supports each other. Thanks, Sarah!

  • Fantastical share Danny!

    And that’s what I’m talking about! Learning from our story and sharing that wisdom with others. Those nuggets of wisdom can be the very thing that just one person (if not more!) need to hear at a particular juncture in their life. To share are own vulnerability, our fears and challenges show our humanness. Your Story Matters!

    Danny Brown is one of my hero’s not just because of this latest authentic reveal, but because he ‘gets’ how the connection of the human spirit works and does his part. Bravo!

    • Hi there Angela,

      The amount of times I’ve been down, and then heard the very thing I needed to hear – well, it’s like the old “If I had a nickel…” quote. Heck, sometimes I’ve found inspiration from a Family Guy episode! 🙂

      And that’s the thing – every single one of us has at least one fear. How big or small it is isn’t really important – recognizing it, and then doing what it takes to overcome (either alone or in a shared group like this one) is the real important stuff. Her’s to sharing importance. 🙂

      And thank you sincerely for your very kind words – wow, is all I can say. Thank you. 🙂

  • Fantastical share Danny!

    And that’s what I’m talking about! Learning from our story and sharing that wisdom with others. Those nuggets of wisdom can be the very thing that just one person (if not more!) need to hear at a particular juncture in their life. To share are own vulnerability, our fears and challenges show our humanness. Your Story Matters!

    Danny Brown is one of my hero’s not just because of this latest authentic reveal, but because he ‘gets’ how the connection of the human spirit works and does his part. Bravo!

    • Hi there Angela,

      The amount of times I’ve been down, and then heard the very thing I needed to hear – well, it’s like the old “If I had a nickel…” quote. Heck, sometimes I’ve found inspiration from a Family Guy episode! 🙂

      And that’s the thing – every single one of us has at least one fear. How big or small it is isn’t really important – recognizing it, and then doing what it takes to overcome (either alone or in a shared group like this one) is the real important stuff. Her’s to sharing importance. 🙂

      And thank you sincerely for your very kind words – wow, is all I can say. Thank you. 🙂

  • I am glad you didn’t die. And I’m glad I didn’t die either. I was only 15. I had a whole lot of life left to live. And I’m so grateful that it didn’t work. I can’t imagine what the world I live in would be like without me. Oh and my nephews. I would never have had a chance to love them. That makes me want to cry just thinking about it.

    Thank you for writing this and for sharing your story.

    I live each day. Fully. And I will make a list. Thank you.

    • Kristin

      Rita, I’m glad you didn’t succeed. Thank you for sharing your story. You are so right that the world would be much different without you. Keep living each day fully. It’s a great inspiration.

    • Echoing what Kristin said, Rita, knowing what we’d have missed enforced the decision we took was the right one. Here’s to more moments with those we love that we may not have otherwise had.

  • I am glad you didn’t die. And I’m glad I didn’t die either. I was only 15. I had a whole lot of life left to live. And I’m so grateful that it didn’t work. I can’t imagine what the world I live in would be like without me. Oh and my nephews. I would never have had a chance to love them. That makes me want to cry just thinking about it.

    Thank you for writing this and for sharing your story.

    I live each day. Fully. And I will make a list. Thank you.

    • Kristin

      Rita, I’m glad you didn’t succeed. Thank you for sharing your story. You are so right that the world would be much different without you. Keep living each day fully. It’s a great inspiration.

    • Echoing what Kristin said, Rita, knowing what we’d have missed enforced the decision we took was the right one. Here’s to more moments with those we love that we may not have otherwise had.

  • Anonymous

    Danny,
    It’s rare that I encounter a blog post from one of the social media “A-Listers” (in my book, anyway) where we are invited to take a peek into their soul. We need more of that because there ain’t nothing new under the sun when it comes to all that “other stuff”.

    Unbeknownst to most people outside my family & close friends, I’m a very spiritual person. I’ve adopted this verse of scripture (from Proverbs 21:31) as my mantra: “The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but victory rests with the Lord.” All we can do in our lives is get our horses ready for the day of battle (life’s many challenges) and the rest is in the hands of whatever God you serve. That, and the understanding that life ain’t hard as long as you understand it ain’t gonna be easy, have brought me (and my family) peace and has gotten us through the many challenges we’ve faced over the years.

    Keep busy living and thanks for sharing 🙂

    • Hey there Dan,

      Nice to see you over here, mate, and thanks for the compliments – now I have to be nice to you for a couple of days… 😉

      I like your approach a lot, and I think it’s one that some others have touched on here – we can’t control, but we can prepare, and as long as we do that (and keep in mind that there’s nothing wrong with failure), I think we’ll be good to go for most things.

      Cheers, mate. 🙂

      • Anonymous

        No need to be nice Mr. Brown 😉

  • Anonymous

    Danny,
    It’s rare that I encounter a blog post from one of the social media “A-Listers” (in my book, anyway) where we are invited to take a peek into their soul. We need more of that because there ain’t nothing new under the sun when it comes to all that “other stuff”.

    Unbeknownst to most people outside my family & close friends, I’m a very spiritual person. I’ve adopted this verse of scripture (from Proverbs 21:31) as my mantra: “The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but victory rests with the Lord.” All we can do in our lives is get our horses ready for the day of battle (life’s many challenges) and the rest is in the hands of whatever God you serve. That, and the understanding that life ain’t hard as long as you understand it ain’t gonna be easy, have brought me (and my family) peace and has gotten us through the many challenges we’ve faced over the years.

    Keep busy living and thanks for sharing 🙂

    • Hey there Dan,

      Nice to see you over here, mate, and thanks for the compliments – now I have to be nice to you for a couple of days… 😉

      I like your approach a lot, and I think it’s one that some others have touched on here – we can’t control, but we can prepare, and as long as we do that (and keep in mind that there’s nothing wrong with failure), I think we’ll be good to go for most things.

      Cheers, mate. 🙂

      • Anonymous

        No need to be nice Mr. Brown 😉

  • Dear Danny,

    This made me pause in my day. I thank God you are here today. I’ve never met you but you brighten my days with your videos that share your lovely accent . I am always happy that you return comments on Twitter as well as on your Post. I mean that most sincerely. You do hold a place of importance in my little life.

    I wish there was a little passage way for people who are in such a sad state that they are considering leaving this life by suicide. I would stand in the hallway between the two worlds, and greet and hug each one. I would have them tell me about their beautiful and wretched life. I would say don’t go – I would love to know you. If only I could. Sometimes the most painful thing for me in life is not being able to help everyone who needs it – my human inability.

    But, I can say to you – I love knowing you. So happy you are here on this earth with me.

    • Wow, Imelda, what an opportunity that would be. If we could have that Wonderful Life moment, and show just what an impact we can make without even knowing it… that would be such an important chance for us all. Love it, and love your humanity in wanting that.

      And even if the questions for Sunday Brunch run out, I’ll keep making videos just for you, miss – cheers! 😉

  • Dear Danny,

    This made me pause in my day. I thank God you are here today. I’ve never met you but you brighten my days with your videos that share your lovely accent . I am always happy that you return comments on Twitter as well as on your Post. I mean that most sincerely. You do hold a place of importance in my little life.

    I wish there was a little passage way for people who are in such a sad state that they are considering leaving this life by suicide. I would stand in the hallway between the two worlds, and greet and hug each one. I would have them tell me about their beautiful and wretched life. I would say don’t go – I would love to know you. If only I could. Sometimes the most painful thing for me in life is not being able to help everyone who needs it – my human inability.

    But, I can say to you – I love knowing you. So happy you are here on this earth with me.

    • Wow, Imelda, what an opportunity that would be. If we could have that Wonderful Life moment, and show just what an impact we can make without even knowing it… that would be such an important chance for us all. Love it, and love your humanity in wanting that.

      And even if the questions for Sunday Brunch run out, I’ll keep making videos just for you, miss – cheers! 😉

  • What an incredible mother, Danny. Thanks for sharing your story. I’m so happy you didn’t die and that you found a way to make everything turn out well.

    And your story comes to me at just the time when I needed a story like this. I won’t elaborate. I’ll just say “Thank you” because reaching out would be much more effective than what I’ve been doing. 🙂

    • Hi Janna,

      I was definitely lucky to have my mother there when I needed her. I know “that’s what mothers do”, but she really went above and beyond. Then again, I guess that’s what parents do… 😉

      Glad the post resonated, in which ever way it does – that’s all that matters. 🙂

  • What an incredible mother, Danny. Thanks for sharing your story. I’m so happy you didn’t die and that you found a way to make everything turn out well.

    And your story comes to me at just the time when I needed a story like this. I won’t elaborate. I’ll just say “Thank you” because reaching out would be much more effective than what I’ve been doing. 🙂

    • Hi Janna,

      I was definitely lucky to have my mother there when I needed her. I know “that’s what mothers do”, but she really went above and beyond. Then again, I guess that’s what parents do… 😉

      Glad the post resonated, in which ever way it does – that’s all that matters. 🙂

  • Sharon E. Greene

    Thank you, Danny, for your courage in sharing your vulnerability with this community…and your inspiring example of how to turn sh*tty situations into a challenge to choose life, no matter how painful the choice might have appeared at the time. I had a similar “tipping point.” I was the typical starving grad student, working the typically crappy job and eating beans to pay rent, hating my life and despairing of it getting any better anytime soon, involved in a demeaning relationship with another grad student who, naturally, given the times we lived in, felt that his academic work was worth so much more than mine because, after all, he was a guy and I was just some academic wannabe until the right man came along (namely, him!). I’ve never been a scotch drinker, but I downed a six-pack or so of beer and took two bottles of valium and prayed for my self-imposed misery to end. It was two days after the Kent State slaughter and all I could think was, “Here I am, trying to do things right and further my education, and they shoot you in the street like a dog. What the hell is the point in THIS?” I was 24. It took me two years to genuinely thank the friend who found me and took me to the emergency room and saved my life. Point being? I, too, suffered from unbelievable, selfish pride. And, sometimes, in order to survive and thrive, you have to throw out your pride and look at other options as being viable ways of living. I hit the brick wall head-on and blamed the wall for not giving way to my preconceived notions of what life was “supposed to be” if I was the good, little girl. Now, I say, what’s around the wall? Or, on top of the wall? Or, beneath the wall? We create our own walls with self-defeating thoughts and unexamined preconceptions of “what is.” Thank you, Danny, for your most helpful list for facing the nemesis that lurks in all of us, and kicking it where it hurts!

    • Wow, Sharon, what a story – powerful and inspiring, and thank you so much for sharing it here.

      I can only imagine what it must have felt like at that time, being part of the Kent State tragedy. It can’t have been easy to continue when it didn’t feel there was any point – my sincere respect for battling back and not letting walls keep you back.

    • I really like that you now say “what is around the wall” – what a great thing to look for!

      Thanks for sharing your story and I’m glad your friend found you!

  • Sharon E. Greene

    Thank you, Danny, for your courage in sharing your vulnerability with this community…and your inspiring example of how to turn sh*tty situations into a challenge to choose life, no matter how painful the choice might have appeared at the time. I had a similar “tipping point.” I was the typical starving grad student, working the typically crappy job and eating beans to pay rent, hating my life and despairing of it getting any better anytime soon, involved in a demeaning relationship with another grad student who, naturally, given the times we lived in, felt that his academic work was worth so much more than mine because, after all, he was a guy and I was just some academic wannabe until the right man came along (namely, him!). I’ve never been a scotch drinker, but I downed a six-pack or so of beer and took two bottles of valium and prayed for my self-imposed misery to end. It was two days after the Kent State slaughter and all I could think was, “Here I am, trying to do things right and further my education, and they shoot you in the street like a dog. What the hell is the point in THIS?” I was 24. It took me two years to genuinely thank the friend who found me and took me to the emergency room and saved my life. Point being? I, too, suffered from unbelievable, selfish pride. And, sometimes, in order to survive and thrive, you have to throw out your pride and look at other options as being viable ways of living. I hit the brick wall head-on and blamed the wall for not giving way to my preconceived notions of what life was “supposed to be” if I was the good, little girl. Now, I say, what’s around the wall? Or, on top of the wall? Or, beneath the wall? We create our own walls with self-defeating thoughts and unexamined preconceptions of “what is.” Thank you, Danny, for your most helpful list for facing the nemesis that lurks in all of us, and kicking it where it hurts!

    • Wow, Sharon, what a story – powerful and inspiring, and thank you so much for sharing it here.

      I can only imagine what it must have felt like at that time, being part of the Kent State tragedy. It can’t have been easy to continue when it didn’t feel there was any point – my sincere respect for battling back and not letting walls keep you back.

    • I really like that you now say “what is around the wall” – what a great thing to look for!

      Thanks for sharing your story and I’m glad your friend found you!

  • sam

    I really appreciate the blunt honesty of living through a time when you really chose – life. How perfect that you got more of your parents than you ever had before… thank you for sharing with us…

    • Thanks, Sam. It’s probably one of the favourite parts of my younger life, if that makes ironic sense?

  • sam

    I really appreciate the blunt honesty of living through a time when you really chose – life. How perfect that you got more of your parents than you ever had before… thank you for sharing with us…

    • Thanks, Sam. It’s probably one of the favourite parts of my younger life, if that makes ironic sense?

  • Hi Danny my friend..

    It’s an honor to have you on my Sh*t list if that make sense .. 🙂

    I’m living out some of the DNA’s that my father passed on to me. He had a passion for traveling, and there was no doubt that his favorite country to visit was the US. I always keep the memories with me from the stories he shared with me.

    As some dude told me ‘Talk to your mountains, and let them go’.. Well the story you share here reminded me about that. For me that has a passion for Hotels and Hospitality – story telling is just part of my blood. I really enjoy when people take time to share their story and especially when it made a difference in their life. This is the kind of stories that touch people and makes a difference.

    There has also been some real Sh*t in my life and I got myself into a bad circle feeling ‘sorry’ for myself. And it was when my mother passed away in 2009 I started to get a grip of myself. I did not have a safe point I could return to anymore when something bad happened to me. So now I actually had to learn count on the people that was closest to me, and let them into my life. And the hardest person to let in was myself.

    My mother was one of those people that was really depended on my father. And when he passed away she slowly was passing away, and one day we found her peacefully had fallen into sleep in her favorite chair. She had packed a bunch of clothes and neatly put them in front of her. She was ready for her journey.

    And that’s got me thinking I don’t want to die inside and slowly disappear because someone I cared about dies. I want to live and die knowing that I really lived.

    I wanted to get my Sh*t together and talk to my mountains and finally let them go. It’s time for ME to be ME, and get to know myself.

    Well, Danny I’m sure we will meet sooner or later. So look forward to share some good stories then.

    Cheers my mate.. Are 🙂

    • Hey there Are,

      Much like I said to Mr. Perez above, so great to see you here.

      What a wonderful story and experience. It’s amazing to think that your mother was ready for her journey, and made sure she was packed and ready to go. It’s that kind of belief and acceptance that I think we can all grab a little piece of; it sure as heck’s better than ignoring and blindly stumbling forward.

      So glad you found the strength to become the person you are today, mate. I never get tired of our conversations, wherever they may be – here’s to more stories.

      And I’ll be on your shit list any day, sir! 😉

    • Wow, Are,

      Thanks for sharing a bit of your story. Your comment about “the hardest person to let in was myself,” resonates with me. I’ve spent most of my life being down on myself and feeling like a failure. Some of the reasons for that were legitimate, but even as I have worked hard to eliminate those reasons, finding a place of love and forgiveness has been very hard for me.

      I, too, have made the decision that it is no longer acceptable to avoid real living and I’ve recently made the commitment to love boldly and to live loud. I know I’m in for lots of missteps but I’d rather experience those than to not have stepped at all.

      I’m glad you decided to “talk to your mountains and let them go.” I’m still in the midst of conversing with a few of mine, but like you it’s time for me to be me — mountains or no.

      Maybe, for the both of us, hanging out here at this awesome site and with these awesome people, we’ll succeed in living the lives we were meant to live.

  • Hi Danny my friend..

    It’s an honor to have you on my Sh*t list if that make sense .. 🙂

    I’m living out some of the DNA’s that my father passed on to me. He had a passion for traveling, and there was no doubt that his favorite country to visit was the US. I always keep the memories with me from the stories he shared with me.

    As some dude told me ‘Talk to your mountains, and let them go’.. Well the story you share here reminded me about that. For me that has a passion for Hotels and Hospitality – story telling is just part of my blood. I really enjoy when people take time to share their story and especially when it made a difference in their life. This is the kind of stories that touch people and makes a difference.

    There has also been some real Sh*t in my life and I got myself into a bad circle feeling ‘sorry’ for myself. And it was when my mother passed away in 2009 I started to get a grip of myself. I did not have a safe point I could return to anymore when something bad happened to me. So now I actually had to learn count on the people that was closest to me, and let them into my life. And the hardest person to let in was myself.

    My mother was one of those people that was really depended on my father. And when he passed away she slowly was passing away, and one day we found her peacefully had fallen into sleep in her favorite chair. She had packed a bunch of clothes and neatly put them in front of her. She was ready for her journey.

    And that’s got me thinking I don’t want to die inside and slowly disappear because someone I cared about dies. I want to live and die knowing that I really lived.

    I wanted to get my Sh*t together and talk to my mountains and finally let them go. It’s time for ME to be ME, and get to know myself.

    Well, Danny I’m sure we will meet sooner or later. So look forward to share some good stories then.

    Cheers my mate.. Are 🙂

    • Hey there Are,

      Much like I said to Mr. Perez above, so great to see you here.

      What a wonderful story and experience. It’s amazing to think that your mother was ready for her journey, and made sure she was packed and ready to go. It’s that kind of belief and acceptance that I think we can all grab a little piece of; it sure as heck’s better than ignoring and blindly stumbling forward.

      So glad you found the strength to become the person you are today, mate. I never get tired of our conversations, wherever they may be – here’s to more stories.

      And I’ll be on your shit list any day, sir! 😉

    • Wow, Are,

      Thanks for sharing a bit of your story. Your comment about “the hardest person to let in was myself,” resonates with me. I’ve spent most of my life being down on myself and feeling like a failure. Some of the reasons for that were legitimate, but even as I have worked hard to eliminate those reasons, finding a place of love and forgiveness has been very hard for me.

      I, too, have made the decision that it is no longer acceptable to avoid real living and I’ve recently made the commitment to love boldly and to live loud. I know I’m in for lots of missteps but I’d rather experience those than to not have stepped at all.

      I’m glad you decided to “talk to your mountains and let them go.” I’m still in the midst of conversing with a few of mine, but like you it’s time for me to be me — mountains or no.

      Maybe, for the both of us, hanging out here at this awesome site and with these awesome people, we’ll succeed in living the lives we were meant to live.

  • Beautiful post, Danny. Thank you for sharing. I also like your to-do list and letting go of what ‘haunts’ us. Good on ya for a life well lived!

    • Hi Erica,

      We only have space for a finite amount of ghosts – sometimes we just have to let go. It’s great to see that so many people have come through and shed their own ghosts, too. 🙂

  • Beautiful post, Danny. Thank you for sharing. I also like your to-do list and letting go of what ‘haunts’ us. Good on ya for a life well lived!

    • Hi Erica,

      We only have space for a finite amount of ghosts – sometimes we just have to let go. It’s great to see that so many people have come through and shed their own ghosts, too. 🙂

  • Danny, I have to admit that your story gave me goosebumps. Life has a funny way of opening doors and allowing us to venture on new paths. Your year of darkness caused a huge shift in your life. I will follow the steps in your battle plan! I know what kneed to embrace, accept and let go of in my lfe.

    Thank you for sharing.

    • Hi Giselle,

      Funny how oftentimes it’s the really dark places we need to go to before we can really light up. But I guess that’s what torches are for. 🙂

      • Danny,

        Your comment here reminds me of something I used to say at my old corporate job. I had a knack for handling “problem accounts”. Someone once asked me my “secret”. I told them that anyone can be good at managing accounts when everything is going smoothly. It’s how you handle the rough patches that show your true character.

        Once a client realized that I wasn’t going to flinch or shy away from the rough stuff, they respected me. Knowing I would be there helping them sort out the problems made them much more willing to work with me when all was well.

        This feels similar in that we often don’t know what we’re really capable of until we are tested. It’s not fun being tested, but a “bright side” to the situation is that we then know that we really are capable of a lot more than we probably originally thought.

        Best!

        • So true, Kellie – the person I want by my side isn’t the one that can bully up and intimidate (though that’s sometimes useful!). No, I’d much rather have the person that knuckles down, broadens the shoulders and gets ready to dig in until something is resolved. That’s the long-term success builder right there.

          Cheers!

  • Danny, I have to admit that your story gave me goosebumps. Life has a funny way of opening doors and allowing us to venture on new paths. Your year of darkness caused a huge shift in your life. I will follow the steps in your battle plan! I know what kneed to embrace, accept and let go of in my lfe.

    Thank you for sharing.

    • Hi Giselle,

      Funny how oftentimes it’s the really dark places we need to go to before we can really light up. But I guess that’s what torches are for. 🙂

      • Danny,

        Your comment here reminds me of something I used to say at my old corporate job. I had a knack for handling “problem accounts”. Someone once asked me my “secret”. I told them that anyone can be good at managing accounts when everything is going smoothly. It’s how you handle the rough patches that show your true character.

        Once a client realized that I wasn’t going to flinch or shy away from the rough stuff, they respected me. Knowing I would be there helping them sort out the problems made them much more willing to work with me when all was well.

        This feels similar in that we often don’t know what we’re really capable of until we are tested. It’s not fun being tested, but a “bright side” to the situation is that we then know that we really are capable of a lot more than we probably originally thought.

        Best!

        • So true, Kellie – the person I want by my side isn’t the one that can bully up and intimidate (though that’s sometimes useful!). No, I’d much rather have the person that knuckles down, broadens the shoulders and gets ready to dig in until something is resolved. That’s the long-term success builder right there.

          Cheers!

  • Danielle Smith

    Danny~ As I always find when I read what you have to say…. you inspire and you make me think. You impress upon me a need to act…. to ponder and simply DO. I often read the words of intelligent people, of witty people, of kind people…. but YOU? You stand out because you are all of the above and you never hesitate to believe that I (or anyone else reading) has the power to make ‘it’ happen. Thank you for that. Thank you for sharing what was surely a difficult story – thank you for knowing it was likely just what many of us needed to hear. Cheers, Danny…. keep doing what you are doing.

    • Wow, Danielle, not really sure how to reply to such kind words, except to say thank you. To hear you say that… well, it kinda makes me want to keep “doing” and hopefully get it right more than I get it wrong. Thank you again, miss, I really appreciate it. 🙂

      • Danielle Smith

        Danny – I have no doubt you will keep ‘doing’ – just know I am grateful that you do 🙂 Without a doubt you are getting it right – I’m grateful you are here!

  • Danielle Smith

    Danny~ As I always find when I read what you have to say…. you inspire and you make me think. You impress upon me a need to act…. to ponder and simply DO. I often read the words of intelligent people, of witty people, of kind people…. but YOU? You stand out because you are all of the above and you never hesitate to believe that I (or anyone else reading) has the power to make ‘it’ happen. Thank you for that. Thank you for sharing what was surely a difficult story – thank you for knowing it was likely just what many of us needed to hear. Cheers, Danny…. keep doing what you are doing.

    • Wow, Danielle, not really sure how to reply to such kind words, except to say thank you. To hear you say that… well, it kinda makes me want to keep “doing” and hopefully get it right more than I get it wrong. Thank you again, miss, I really appreciate it. 🙂

      • Danielle Smith

        Danny – I have no doubt you will keep ‘doing’ – just know I am grateful that you do 🙂 Without a doubt you are getting it right – I’m grateful you are here!

  • Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And thanks to your mom, too!

    • And thank YOU, Mimi – I can feel the thanks all the way over here. 🙂

  • Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And thanks to your mom, too!

    • And thank YOU, Mimi – I can feel the thanks all the way over here. 🙂

  • Thank you so very much for sharing Danny. Sometimes we see leaders and just assume they have it all together and always have.

    We beat ourselves up endlessly for our shortcomings – but the balance of our strengths and weaknesses make us who we are (and reminds us how much we need others!!). Thanks for the reminder.

    • You know, funnily enough Bobbie, many of the “leaders” I’ve met have often been so through false bravado. While the real everyday people have been busy hitting the wall, and knocking their way through it. That’s where I see the real inspiration and, like you say, it’s that balance that keeps us going. 🙂

  • Thank you so very much for sharing Danny. Sometimes we see leaders and just assume they have it all together and always have.

    We beat ourselves up endlessly for our shortcomings – but the balance of our strengths and weaknesses make us who we are (and reminds us how much we need others!!). Thanks for the reminder.

    • You know, funnily enough Bobbie, many of the “leaders” I’ve met have often been so through false bravado. While the real everyday people have been busy hitting the wall, and knocking their way through it. That’s where I see the real inspiration and, like you say, it’s that balance that keeps us going. 🙂

  • I do believe that your first sentence took my breath away… Thanks for sharing your story Danny, and so glad for you that your sister was there and your mother led you to where you needed to be!

    I have never tried to take my life, but for some reason when I got to this paragraph, I started crying “We have a choice, every single day. We have the ability to live, or to die. Not die in the physical sense – we don’t have a choice there. But every victory we let slip away, we die. Every moment we can grab but let go of, we die.”

    I’m pretty sure I know why… I’ve let some great things slip away and haven’t grabbed some things I should have…

    and just to lighten things up a bit.. and to make me laugh through the tears – can I just say that I laughed out loud when you wrote that you had spent that hard earned money on the BEST scotch?? 🙂

    • Hi there Shelly,

      I wonder how many things we’ve let slip and don’t even recall until we take the time to think about them? But then, perhaps the great thing is that by not recalling them without “prompting”, we’ve already taken the steps needed to get past them and be stronger anyway?

      And for sure on the scotch – I’d hate to have gone out on a cheap blended whisky… 😉

      Thanks, Shelly for being you. 🙂

  • I do believe that your first sentence took my breath away… Thanks for sharing your story Danny, and so glad for you that your sister was there and your mother led you to where you needed to be!

    I have never tried to take my life, but for some reason when I got to this paragraph, I started crying “We have a choice, every single day. We have the ability to live, or to die. Not die in the physical sense – we don’t have a choice there. But every victory we let slip away, we die. Every moment we can grab but let go of, we die.”

    I’m pretty sure I know why… I’ve let some great things slip away and haven’t grabbed some things I should have…

    and just to lighten things up a bit.. and to make me laugh through the tears – can I just say that I laughed out loud when you wrote that you had spent that hard earned money on the BEST scotch?? 🙂

    • Hi there Shelly,

      I wonder how many things we’ve let slip and don’t even recall until we take the time to think about them? But then, perhaps the great thing is that by not recalling them without “prompting”, we’ve already taken the steps needed to get past them and be stronger anyway?

      And for sure on the scotch – I’d hate to have gone out on a cheap blended whisky… 😉

      Thanks, Shelly for being you. 🙂

  • Hi Danny- just wanted to voice my appreciation for your story, too. In a past life I was a paramedic and I took quite a few people in who had attempted suicide. I often wondered about them, especially the ones that made a real go of it, where there was a real risk of losing them.

    Reading your story was a bit of a healing for me, to hear how one story turned out- and the others people shared in the comments below. Thank you all. And peace upon you in your journey.

    With gratitude.

    • Hey there Mark,

      Thank you. I guess we never think too much about the people on the other side of the mix; but without people like you, there’d be a lot less of us here to share our stories, and that’s something we should all be grateful for. Thank you.

  • Hi Danny- just wanted to voice my appreciation for your story, too. In a past life I was a paramedic and I took quite a few people in who had attempted suicide. I often wondered about them, especially the ones that made a real go of it, where there was a real risk of losing them.

    Reading your story was a bit of a healing for me, to hear how one story turned out- and the others people shared in the comments below. Thank you all. And peace upon you in your journey.

    With gratitude.

    • Hey there Mark,

      Thank you. I guess we never think too much about the people on the other side of the mix; but without people like you, there’d be a lot less of us here to share our stories, and that’s something we should all be grateful for. Thank you.

  • Oh, danny, you made me cry.

    That’s not necessarily a bad thing.

    Reading this helped, for one, shed light on why my instincts about you as a person were right. As i watch you from afar, you’ve always seemed of high integrity and compassion. It’s how you carry yourself. This remarkable story gives new meaning to those traits of yours.

    Your piece makes me uncomfortable because of what you ask of us in the end. If i sit down to write what you’ve asked me to write, I’m scared of what lies there. I don’t know if I’m ready to take my nemesis, whatever it may be, down.

    But it’s in the places where we’re most uncomfortable we often find the greatest change for growth. Perhaps I will try your route, but backward: reaching out to people first to help me go where I don’t want to go. Thank you. 🙂

    • Hi Reese,

      Coming from someone I admire IMMENSELY, I will take that with a very big smile and as a hugely kind compliment. 🙂

      I hear you on the list. It took me a lot of crumpled paper and much pushing before I had something I could work with. It’s not easy to admit to what we feel is holding us back – but so worth it if we can do it.

      I like your approach to reach out first – here’s to the hands being there to help you to the next part.

      Take care, you. 🙂

  • Oh, danny, you made me cry.

    That’s not necessarily a bad thing.

    Reading this helped, for one, shed light on why my instincts about you as a person were right. As i watch you from afar, you’ve always seemed of high integrity and compassion. It’s how you carry yourself. This remarkable story gives new meaning to those traits of yours.

    Your piece makes me uncomfortable because of what you ask of us in the end. If i sit down to write what you’ve asked me to write, I’m scared of what lies there. I don’t know if I’m ready to take my nemesis, whatever it may be, down.

    But it’s in the places where we’re most uncomfortable we often find the greatest change for growth. Perhaps I will try your route, but backward: reaching out to people first to help me go where I don’t want to go. Thank you. 🙂

    • Hi Reese,

      Coming from someone I admire IMMENSELY, I will take that with a very big smile and as a hugely kind compliment. 🙂

      I hear you on the list. It took me a lot of crumpled paper and much pushing before I had something I could work with. It’s not easy to admit to what we feel is holding us back – but so worth it if we can do it.

      I like your approach to reach out first – here’s to the hands being there to help you to the next part.

      Take care, you. 🙂

  • No words…Just a huge,big,enormous THANK YOU,THANK YOU,THANK YOU!!!
    All my gratitude

    • Thank YOU, Sion – glad to have been the recipient of that, I can feel it over here! 🙂

  • No words…Just a huge,big,enormous THANK YOU,THANK YOU,THANK YOU!!!
    All my gratitude

    • Thank YOU, Sion – glad to have been the recipient of that, I can feel it over here! 🙂

  • Danny –

    WOW. Just wow. It takes a lot of strength and courage to be able to share so much of yourself with us. Thank you!

    Everyone has demons that haunt them and strips them of their confidence and self-worth. But, it’s the rock bottom times that makes the good times so good.

    When dark times hit, I seek the support of my family and friends, remember the good life has to offer and what I want to accomplish. Having goals has let me be more focused and more resistant to my demons. I might not be able to control my circumstances, but I can control my reaction. I can control what I do about it. In a time where you feel helpless, knowing and understanding that really makes an impact.

    • Love your mindset when it comes to controlling reactions over circumstances, Beatriz. Like you say, if you can control what you do, as opposed to being controlled by what you can’t, that’s pretty much all you need to conquer most things.

      Cheers! 🙂

  • Danny –

    WOW. Just wow. It takes a lot of strength and courage to be able to share so much of yourself with us. Thank you!

    Everyone has demons that haunt them and strips them of their confidence and self-worth. But, it’s the rock bottom times that makes the good times so good.

    When dark times hit, I seek the support of my family and friends, remember the good life has to offer and what I want to accomplish. Having goals has let me be more focused and more resistant to my demons. I might not be able to control my circumstances, but I can control my reaction. I can control what I do about it. In a time where you feel helpless, knowing and understanding that really makes an impact.

    • Love your mindset when it comes to controlling reactions over circumstances, Beatriz. Like you say, if you can control what you do, as opposed to being controlled by what you can’t, that’s pretty much all you need to conquer most things.

      Cheers! 🙂

  • Heart warming, enlightening and empowering! And there are so many out there hurting that desperately need to hear and read this. Thank you for sharing, I hope this is read by many!

    • Thanks Maria – hopefully the post helps. If even one person can be “affected” positively by it if they’re in a similar boat, then I can’t ask for much more than that. 🙂

  • Heart warming, enlightening and empowering! And there are so many out there hurting that desperately need to hear and read this. Thank you for sharing, I hope this is read by many!

    • Thanks Maria – hopefully the post helps. If even one person can be “affected” positively by it if they’re in a similar boat, then I can’t ask for much more than that. 🙂

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  • Nice one bud. I knew there was an epic life experience that forged your richness of soul.

    • Cheers, sir. I imagine you have quite the tale yourself… 😉

    • Cheers, sir. I imagine you have quite the tale yourself… 😉

  • Nice one bud. I knew there was an epic life experience that forged your richness of soul.

    • Cheers, sir. I imagine you have quite the tale yourself… 😉

  • Danny – my God. This post, especially this line, “To this day I still think that’s why I loved my grandparents the way I did – they gave me the chance of life.” stopped my heart, seriously. Wonderful, wonderful post. Thank you SO much for sharing. Through tears, I am bookmarking this to share with others.

    • Hey there Lisa,

      Thank you and glad it resonated. Now, tell me – is that really your last name, because that s quite possibly the best surname I have ever seen… LOVE IT! 😉

      • Ha, no, definitely not my last name. Just my pseudo-creative way to fit both my name and blog’s name into my username. A mouthful, isn’t it? 🙂

  • Danny – my God. This post, especially this line, “To this day I still think that’s why I loved my grandparents the way I did – they gave me the chance of life.” stopped my heart, seriously. Wonderful, wonderful post. Thank you SO much for sharing. Through tears, I am bookmarking this to share with others.

    • Hey there Lisa,

      Thank you and glad it resonated. Now, tell me – is that really your last name, because that s quite possibly the best surname I have ever seen… LOVE IT! 😉

      • Ha, no, definitely not my last name. Just my pseudo-creative way to fit both my name and blog’s name into my username. A mouthful, isn’t it? 🙂

  • Danny,
    Thanks to your sister and Mum for their actions and to you for sticking with life and sharing your story. I think of people I know who’ve committed suicide and the boy at the local high school who did last month and how sharing your story might help others change their path. Keep sharing! Thanks for the explicit steps to take to write about what we need to, to let go and say what we need to say!

    • Hi Britt,

      Really sorry to hear of those losses. Like you say, hopefully by opening up to each other we can help show that there are second chances. So many stories have come out in the comments, it’s clear that there are a lot of people that have needed help at some stage.

      Here’s to “future selves” getting that help.

  • Danny,
    Thanks to your sister and Mum for their actions and to you for sticking with life and sharing your story. I think of people I know who’ve committed suicide and the boy at the local high school who did last month and how sharing your story might help others change their path. Keep sharing! Thanks for the explicit steps to take to write about what we need to, to let go and say what we need to say!

    • Hi Britt,

      Really sorry to hear of those losses. Like you say, hopefully by opening up to each other we can help show that there are second chances. So many stories have come out in the comments, it’s clear that there are a lot of people that have needed help at some stage.

      Here’s to “future selves” getting that help.

  • Anonymous

    Danny, what an amazing story – I’m so grateful to your sister for saving you, your mum for being honest with you and your grandparents and the rest of your family helping you feel loved so you can share with the rest of us. I’ve never been in such a dire situation, but can indeed see how one might feel so helpless and hopeless. Life can be wonderful – not without challenge. I know that your writing here will help many people. Hugs to you!

    • Hi Elaine,

      I must admit I was surprised when my mum told me her story – I never would have pictured my grandparents supporting her the way they did, having heard her speak of how strict and religious they were when they were younger. Just goes to show, families are (generally) always there when you need them, no matter the differences between you leading up to that need.

      Thanks! 🙂

  • Anonymous

    Danny, what an amazing story – I’m so grateful to your sister for saving you, your mum for being honest with you and your grandparents and the rest of your family helping you feel loved so you can share with the rest of us. I’ve never been in such a dire situation, but can indeed see how one might feel so helpless and hopeless. Life can be wonderful – not without challenge. I know that your writing here will help many people. Hugs to you!

    • Hi Elaine,

      I must admit I was surprised when my mum told me her story – I never would have pictured my grandparents supporting her the way they did, having heard her speak of how strict and religious they were when they were younger. Just goes to show, families are (generally) always there when you need them, no matter the differences between you leading up to that need.

      Thanks! 🙂

  • Hi Danny,

    What an amazing story, thank you for sharing and congrats on choosing not just to live, but to live fully, take charge and not run from the past. You will deserve all that you achieve and serve as an example of coming to terms withwhat isn’t working. You rock.

    • Hi Barry,

      Sorry for the late reply, for some reason Disqus didn’t send me an email alert. Thanks for the kind words, sir, and it’s been amazing to see how many people have been in similar situations and can share their stories too. Like you say, so much can still be done when we look at what isn’t working in our lives.

      Cheers again, sir, appreciate it.

  • Hi Danny,

    What an amazing story, thank you for sharing and congrats on choosing not just to live, but to live fully, take charge and not run from the past. You will deserve all that you achieve and serve as an example of coming to terms withwhat isn’t working. You rock.

    • Hi Barry,

      Sorry for the late reply, for some reason Disqus didn’t send me an email alert. Thanks for the kind words, sir, and it’s been amazing to see how many people have been in similar situations and can share their stories too. Like you say, so much can still be done when we look at what isn’t working in our lives.

      Cheers again, sir, appreciate it.

  • Mari

    Got no friends, no job, no money, and soon, no home, but do have lateral lumbar spinal stenosis, rheumatoid arthritis in most of my body, migraines, cataracts, skin cancer…what was that you said about life again -” there’s not  a lot you can accomplish when you’re dead”?  I can’t wait to die and get away from this shit.

  • Mari

    Oh, hey, look at that! What a shock – my less-than-positive comment is expunged! Why am I not surprised?  “But after that day in my twentieth year, things changed” – yeah? Well, I wonder just what you would have done if they hadn’t, if you hadn’t been successful etc. Would you be wishing that they’d just let you go that day?
    I am 56 years old. I had a nice life for a while, but ill health has taken it all. My kids went out into the world and I am glad to say are doing/beginning to do damn well for themselves – it’s just unfortunate that the majority of them (I had 4) had to leave the country to do it, and the last is living too far away for regular visits; no money, remember? And he’s a very busy boy. So, my life sucks and no list is going to make it better.
    This little marketing ploy also sucks. (Did I mention my father was National Sales Training Manager of an international company for the greater part of my formative years? That I can spot most of the tricks? No? Oh, sorry, my oversight).