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The Greatest Gift You Can Give a Mentor [Day 21 – 30 Days to Creating Irresistible Presence]


This is Day 21 of 30 Days to Creating Irresistible Presence.  On Monday, Charlie Gilkey offered up a wonderful post about how irresistible presence isn’t just for those with BIG personalities.  Today, Laura Roeder focuses our attention on how to create irresistible presence with a mentor. Mmmmmm…hot stuff!

Todays’ theme song is: Just Can’t Get Enough by Depeche Mode

The Greatest Gift You Can Give a Mentor

by Laura Roeder (@lkr)

I’ve been lucky enough to connect with some amazing people that I consider mentors. Though I may only speak with them once every few months, their advice has been invaluable in pushing me forward and achieving big leaps in my business.

No one wants to be irresistible in a vacuum. Interaction is inherent to the word – an irresistible dessert is one that begs to be eaten, not just admired. Being irresistible to clients is important, but I’m fascinated by something a bit more difficult to master – creating a presence that draws in high-level mentors.

People often ask me how I manage to connect with “big names”. How I’m able to make myself and my story stand out from the hundreds of contacts they might get a day.

I have to start by saying, I think most of the advice out there on how to get a mentor is flat out wrong. It doesn’t align with my experience at all.

The most common piece of bad advice I see is “see what you can offer them! help them with a connection that they need!”.

This sounds reasonable enough. Of course you should always help people out when you can by offering advice, resources and connections.

BUT I don’t know about you, but I’ve often found that the people I look up to are much better connected than I am! That’s sort of why they’re successful right? I wish I had some great corporate consulting clients for Gary Vaynerchuk up my sleeve but unfortunately I just don’t!

SO a lot of people go the route of offering some kind of service or help. Along the lines of “hey, I could film you when you’re in town” or “I could write a blog post for you” or share your expertise in some other way. Again, the intentions here are right-on. But again in my experience this is not the way to start.

Why? Because you haven’t proven yourself yet. The offering favors stuff comes down the road. I’m a guest expert in Eben Pagan’s new program Guru Blueprint and I’ve been able to help Cameron Herold on some of the ins and outs of selling information products online. BUT if I had approached Cameron cold telling him I have some great advice for him? Probably not the best in. Right off the bat the mentor doesn’t know who you are, and if anything you have to offer is actually valuable.

SO – that’s the bad advice, what’s the good? What can you do instead? What is the greatest gift you can give a potential mentor?

Your own success.

There is nothing more rewarding than knowing that someone has taken your guidance and run with it. Have you ever had some email you that they used a concept you shared in your blog and are now seeing big results? Do you pay attention to those emails? Do you cherish them? The people you look up to feel the same way.

If you’re lucky enough to get an audience with someone you admire, take their advice and report back to them on what you did. (This is also how you can get that “face time” in the first place – contact them and let them know exactly how they’ve helped you already. The more specific the better.)

Then check back in regularly with updates – what’s going on with your business, the big wins you’re having. Don’t expect a return phone call or email. Don’t ask for too much, but at the same time don’t be afraid to ask smart questions. (Smart questions are questions that you can’t easily find the answers to on google.)

Above everything else, the most important tip for finding a mentor is to be brave enough to take the first step. Even if you don’t think they’ll ever see it – pick up the phone, send an email, send a facebook message. Give them the greatest gift they could hope to receive.

Laura Roeder is a social media marketing expert who teaches small businesses how to create their own fame and claim their brand online. She is the creator of Creating Fame, Your Backstage Pass to Twitter and the Zero to WordPress trainings, and co-creator of Rich, Happy and Hot B-School.

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