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The Painful Truth Of Playing A Bigger Game [Day 23 – 30 Days to Changing Your Game]


This is Day 23 of 30 Days to Changing Your Game. Yesterday Allison Nazarian helped us get comfortable with change (it’s just part of the process, right?!). Today Dave Navarro takes off the rose-colored glasses and gives us a good, honest look at what changing our game is really going to be like. Don’t worry – you are up to it!

The Painful Truth of Playing a Bigger Game

By Dave Navarro (@RockYourDay)

It’s easy to talk about playing a bigger game, but it’s not easy doing it.  Radically transforming the way you live your life is a huge undertaking, and it involves stripping away limiting beliefs, self-sabotaging habits and in some cases, making massive changes that can rock every relationship in your life.

Playing a bigger game means taking risks, making significant sacrifices and having to deal with the fallout that inevitably occurs when those around you have to deal with a new and (hopefully) improved you.  You may lose people along the way who can’t handle your new, higher standards.  You’ll likely have challenges being around yourself as well, as your new, freer identity clashes against the smaller-thinking mindset you used to have.

It’s not easy playing a bigger game.  It’s actually pretty damned hard, so hard that a lot of people never make it and slink back to their old patterns, depressed at the prospect that they have failed, once again, to make things happen.

But not everybody slinks back.  Some people make it because they know something important.

Why do some people succeed at playing a bigger game while others fail beneath the difficulty of it all?  I think it’s because they make an important distinction up front – a life lesson said best by M/ Scott Peck in The Road Less Travelled:

“Life is difficult. This is the great truth, one of the greatest truths … because once we see this truth, we transcend it.”

What Peck is saying here is that by accepting that life is difficult, we expect it to be challenging and hard and painful sometimes … and we’re prepared for it.  We’re not saying “Why me?” because we know the journey’s going to be difficult up front.

Life is difficult.  But it seems much more difficult than it really is because we’re conditioned to think it should be easy.  To play a bigger game, you need to break that conditioning, to expect resistance to habit change, to expect failures to be sprinkled in with our successes, and to expect that you’re going to feel hurt and pain on a number of levels before you move forward.

Don’t be afraid of it.  Expect it.  It’s just life pushing at you, seeing if you’re really willing to push back and get what you say you want to get from it.

There are two popular sayings I fall back on whenever I struggle: “Pain is temporary; Pride is forever,” and “Pain is weakness leaving the body.”  I love those sayings.  You’ve got to push through some tough stuff to get tougher.

How would the next 12 months change if you adopted this attitude for yourself, and repeated these two mantras every time you felt like giving up?  What if you decided the temporary pain or discomfort was just a natural part of the process, and that going through it wasn’t “hell,” but just the dues you have to pay to come out stronger on the other side?

You’d play a damn bigger game, that’s what.

So why aren’t you?  It’s time to step up and defuse the programming that has tricked you into thinking that the challenge of personal growth should be feared instead of devoured.  Game on.

Dave Navarro is a product launch coach and marketing expert who gets more people to buy what you’re selling.  His “7 Steps To Playing A Much Bigger Game” manifesto and free workbook has been read by almost 12,000 people (read it for yourself at The Launch Coach blog). Get yours here:

If you don’t want to miss out on the 30 Days to Changing Your Game, please sign up here.

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