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Irresistible Friendship, Explained [Day 28 – 30 Days to Creating Irresistible Presence]

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This is Day 28 of 30 Days to Creating Irresistible Presence.  On Monday,  Michael Port showed us the importance of standing for Something. Today, Allison Nazarian and Elizabeth PW gives us GREAT insight on being and having irresistible friends. YAY!

Theme song: Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) by Green Day http://tinyurl.com/23kuenm

Irresistible Friendship, Explained

by Elizabeth PW (@ElizabethPW) and Allison Nazarian (@allisonnazarian)

Irresistible Friendship, Explained As the ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle said,”Friendship is but a single soul dwelling in two bodies.”

The mates of our souls (these include both best friends as well as lovers), are those other people walking this earth with whom our energies resonate. We have some connection that is beyond the matching of our personality types or experiences – it is more. It is a connection between the truth of our souls, to those others who will help us grow, learn, reach the next plane of our existence.

Those of us who have experienced true friendship, whether of the kind that lasts for years or even for a fleeting moment, know this to be true. The connection, the ease with which you fall into your laughs and talks, the click that happens when you meet or are with someone who is truly a friend.

And just as there are different kinds of loves or relationships, so too are there different kinds of friends and friendships. People ask us a lot about our friendship, probably because it is so public and open. And regardless of the details, there are some universal truths when it comes to having a friend, being a friend and creating, together, an irresistible friendship.

To have a friend be one: Sounds simple, right? If you want someone to be there for you, you need to be that person for them as well. If you want to be respected, trusted, loved and appreciated by your friend (or by anyone, for that matter), there is really no “secret sauce” — be the kind of friend you want to have.

When a friendship isn’t working the way you want it to work or your friend is not acting or being in a way that you need or want them to act or be, look not at them and what they are doing/not doing, but instead look within: Is there something you could do better, less, more?

Water seeks its own level: This is one of our favorites. How do you find a friend? Call it energy, call it connection, call it something that doesn’t even have a name. Whatever you call it, you may not see it but you feel it and you know it is there (or not).

It’s a great feeling when you meet someone and you know beyond any doubt that this person is, maybe once was and certainly will be a friend. It feels easy and right.

On the other hand, when it’s forced, when it is all about drama or misunderstandings, when it is about constantly trying to fit a square peg in a round hole — it isn’t friendship. It is more about fear and those things that come from fear (insecurity, anxiety, the feeling of “I have to do this”) it isn’t coming from a place of being literally, figuratively and in every other way on the same wavelength.

If it doesn’t happen naturally or easily or in a way that seems right and positive, then maybe it isn’t meant to be.

To thine own self be true: Friendship is not about doing, doing, doing for others and neglecting yourself. In fact, just the opposite!

Friendship is about being in a space where you and your friend feel supported in taking care not just of each other but, even more importantly, of your own selves. It is about acknowledging your self-worth and making sure you have what you need not just to survive and live but to shine. Your friends will allow, encourage and even remind you to shine.

Give from the overflow in your saucer, not from your cup. We all can fall into this trap. We are caretakers, we are generous, we want to be nice and take care of the people we love – so we give, and give, and give, until we are empty and resentful.

Not only is that the way to deplete yourself into nothing, that’s not the way to be with your true friends, who understand that you first need to keep yourself full. We are all responsible for our own self care – and we give to others only from the overflow, only give energy to other from our abundance, not our need. And our true friends know & support us in doing so.

Judge not lest ye be judged. As INFJs, we can fall into this trap easily — judging others by our own standard of what is a good idea, what’s best for each other. But as a friend we have to let each other make mistakes, be foolish, fall down, fail. As a friend we are there to support & care for our friends when they do what we knew was not going to work.

And – we must not judge what would work for another soul. While we may be mates of each other souls, we are not the same person. We are not here to solve each other’s lives, we are not here to judge what is right for each other – we are hear to listen. To hold each other when it gets crazy. To share in the dizzying heights and the sickening bottoms. As painful as it is, sometimes all we can do is stand by the side, watch, and love.

So are you an irresistible friend? Have you found the mates of your soul with whom you can share parts of your life?

If not, here’s the secret – be yourself. From the beginning. When you meet someone, when you connect, be real, speak your truth, put your complete self on display from that very first moment.

Yes, many people will not resonate with you. And that’s fine and wonderful – better that they quickly move on to find their own soul mates.

But for those with whom you do connect, for those with whom you do resonate É you will find the most delicious, honest, real, powerful and amazing friendships, more than you ever thought possible. People who support you 100%, who create a safe space where you can be 100% yourself, who will stick by you when life turns you completely inside out and when everything is unbelievably amazing.

All you have to do is be your true self. First.

Who are you being in your friendships?

Are you being the friend you would want to have for yourself?

Elizabeth Potts Weinstein empowers solo-entrepreneurs to make a greater difference in the world and become more successful & fulfilled, by doing what is a natural extension of who they really are. She’s also a mom, attorney, author, speaker, coach, radio show host, twitter chat host, video blogging addict, tweetup connoisseur, aspiring adventurer, amateur pole dancer, people loving introvert, and truth evangelist.

Elizabeth inspires & empowers entrepreneurs to Live Their Truth in her blog at ElizabethPW.com, on twitter chats, and via her programs on tribe building, video blogging, and finding your truth.

If you want to follow her on her adventures and learn how to find other like-minded people who are speaking & living their truth, find her at:

http://twitter.com/ElizabethPW or at http://ElizabethPW.com

Allison Nazarian is a writer. Sometimes, people hire her to write marketing copy and to ghostwrite books, scripts, blogs and speeches. The rest of the time, she writes for women, moms, entrepreneurs and real people online and in print, including in her upcoming book “Love Your Mess™.” Allison is also developing “Write Your Mess™,” a program to teach and guide others to use writing as a way to make money, find their voice, figure stuff out or even just vent.

Allison holds a B.A. in English from the University of Pennsylvania and an M.S. from Columbia University’s Graduate School of Journalism and has been featured in the Wall Street Journal, INC, Entrepreneur and Fortune Small Business. She is the author of two books on do-it-yourself copywriting, including One Minute Copywriter and a monthly columnist for Entrepreneur.com. All of Allison’s writing can be accessed through her site at AllisonNazarian.com.

Originally from the Washington, D.C. area, Allison is a walker, reader, football fan and someday-bookstore owner who lives a very messy life in Florida with her son, daughter and Black Lab.

30 Days to Creating Irresistible Presence is sponsored  by
Creating Irresistible Presence LIVE
~September 23 -25 ~ Atlanta GA ~

Andrea Lee, Elizabeth Marshall, Allison Nazarian
& Elizabeth Potts-Weinstein and ME!

>Easy Peasy 3-Pay Plan Vanishes on SATURDAY!<

To learn more, please visit http://www.irresistiblepresence.com

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