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Failing Sucks

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We’ve all heard it from the guru’s right? “Take big risks!” “Fail early. Fail often.” “When you fail, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep going.”

And for the most part, I agree with these sentiments. The only problem is, no one ever talks about how much failing SUCKS and what to do about it so you CAN pick yourself up and dust yourself off.

Here’s the thing: as entrepreneurs we pour our hearts and souls into what we do. Of course we are risk takers – how could we work for ourselves if we weren’t? So when we take a big risk – everything in us is on the line. Which works out great if the risk pays off.

But what about when it doesn’t pay off?

I recently lived through this experience and I am here to tell you it can be gut-wrenching and heartbreaking. I wanted something very very badly. I thought I had my bases covered. I put all my chips on the table – my smarts, my heart and my soul – and I hoped for the best.

But it didn’t work out. Not only did it not work out, it blew up spectacularly in my face. And it felt horrible.

Prevailing advice is that I should have been able to shake it off, get up and keep on trekking. And I’ve been able to do after many failures – trust me.Β  But this time I just couldn’t. My heart was too heavy and my spirit was busted. But I also knew I had to choose between moving forward somehow and throwing in the towel.

Walking The Grid

Photo by Simon Scott

I can’t remember where I first heard it, but when I find myself in situations where I really don’t know what to do next, where I feel like I am grappling in the dark, where my heart just isn’t in taking one more step, the phrase “just walk the grid” always comes to mind

I have a feeling that I’m not the only person out there who struggles to find a foothold after failing and I’m hoping this idea might offer some help.

The whole premise of walking the grid is based on two things: 1) some structured routine and 2) keeping things very very simple. Each person’s grid will look different, but here are some pieces of mine to give you some ideas:

  1. I walk – every single morning. Whether I feel like it or not. In fact, the less I feel like it, the more insistent I am about going. 30 minutes minimum – longer if I can.
  2. I check in with a trusted friend or colleague every day. Not the same friend or colleague every day because I want to keep as many of those as I can. Sometimes I talk about what’s going on with me; sometimes I can bring myself to actually inquire about them (when I’m walking the grid, I can be kinda self-centered).
  3. I reduce my commitments as best I can. Getting back to full speed takes time and energy and I want to give myself as much of that as I can.
  4. I write first thing every morning. Dumping out what’s bothering me onto paper helps keep it from eating away at me all day. (And a side benefit is I usually get a really great NEW idea while I’m writing – eventually.)
  5. I try to eat well and not survive on coffee alone.
  6. I give priority to working on the projects that make me feel really good, really smart and really talented. Same goes for people I talk to.
  7. I read books by authors who make me feel better. My favorites when I am walking the grid are Julia Cameron, Martha Beck and Anne Lamott.
  8. I nap a lot. (Ok – I nap a lot anytime I can. Walking the grid just gives me a really good reason.)
  9. I cry. Yes it’s true. If the experience is heart-wrenching enough, I’ll probably cry more than once. And don’t say it’s just because I’m a girl.
  10. I take small actions. As soon as I can I take small baby steps toward something that feels like it might be right. Baby steps feel simple and doable. As they accumulate, though, I find myself creating forward momentum once again.

Sometimes I can zip through walking the grid in a couple of days and I’m good to go. Other times, it may take me weeks or even a few months of walking the grid to feel like I am on solid ground.

Failing isn’t permanent and the fact that I failed to get something I really wanted doesn’t mean that I am a failure. But taking the time to acknowledge that the experience was painful is a gift of respect I can give myself.

What are some simple, structured ideas you would add to The Grid?

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  • Sarah,
    Thanks for such a beautiful, well-put post! You’re so right. As entrepreneurs, we really do put ourselves out on a limb every day. And sometimes it blows up spectacularly. We tend to focus a lot on those that overcome those obstacles, but we really don’t spend a lot of time on the “getting through it.” And every one of us has been there. I read somewhere that the top entrepreneurs have gone bankrupt, on average, 2-3 times. It’s plans like the brilliant one you’ve laid out above that bring us through, so we can hold our heads up high another day.

    Thank you again! Well done!

    Jennifer Fong

    • Susanna Pollock

      You spoke the very words that I think many of us think but don’t dare speak out loud. Failure is a part of life in all that we do. For all we know when we wake up the coffee maker might fail (That in our house would cause complete devastation!) that morning, etc. For me, especially lately, the message has been how am I going to respond/react to this “failure” situation. My response has been reminding myself when I feel like that failure, is to remove that emotion it incurs and replace with a positive reaction/action. Have to admit, failure does make us stronger if we let it but it sure doesn’t feel very good!

  • Sarah,
    Thanks for such a beautiful, well-put post! You’re so right. As entrepreneurs, we really do put ourselves out on a limb every day. And sometimes it blows up spectacularly. We tend to focus a lot on those that overcome those obstacles, but we really don’t spend a lot of time on the “getting through it.” And every one of us has been there. I read somewhere that the top entrepreneurs have gone bankrupt, on average, 2-3 times. It’s plans like the brilliant one you’ve laid out above that bring us through, so we can hold our heads up high another day.

    Thank you again! Well done!

    Jennifer Fong

  • Sarah,
    Thanks for such a beautiful, well-put post! You’re so right. As entrepreneurs, we really do put ourselves out on a limb every day. And sometimes it blows up spectacularly. We tend to focus a lot on those that overcome those obstacles, but we really don’t spend a lot of time on the “getting through it.” And every one of us has been there. I read somewhere that the top entrepreneurs have gone bankrupt, on average, 2-3 times. It’s plans like the brilliant one you’ve laid out above that bring us through, so we can hold our heads up high another day.

    Thank you again! Well done!

    Jennifer Fong

  • WOW!
    I would add two things. I do them last thing at night (sometimes I fall asleep in the middle), first thing in the morning would be a good time also. I set my intention for the next day and I do gratitude. When I started daily gratitude, things were so bad the only thing I could thing of to be grateful for was that the day was over. It gets easier as you practice (or perform if you prefer) it more. I don’t do the obvious rote stuff all the time like a roof over my head or my family or the food on the table. I am very thankful for those, but I look more for the little things. Who was kind to me that day, a neat bird or animal I saw, a rainbow, something that brought a smile or a laugh to my day. In the beginning I made my self do five things, now I don’t have to give it much thought, it flows.
    When I feel really stressed or angry or unhappy I borrow a technique from the HeartMath Institute, I put my hand over my heart and either think of the happiest day of my life and breathe or do a variation I got from a friend and breathe love into my heart. It works!

    • admin

      Kendall – The transparency of your comment is beautifully stunning. I think we all hide our failures because of those very messages – and I think it does us all a disservice. I love the ideas you’ve picked out to try, too. I will be anxious to hear how it goes!

      Sarah

  • Kendall Thiessen

    Really helpful advice. I admit sometimes avoid even sharing my failures because you get too much coaching advice or other “be happy” messages. So coming up with some practical steps as you outlined is huge. I think my most challenging one is calling a friend. I have this bad habit of just isolating myself. Hard to get help if you are alone. I also liked the idea of prioritizing projects that have a high likelihood of success–not just what I am good at doing but also what gives my esteem a boost–such as helping others succeed. Somehow that always makes me feel better knowing I am making a positive difference.

    Great post.

    Kendall

    • admin

      Anne – you’ve made two EXCELLENT additions to The Grid! I think I might do an updated post that includes everyone’s suggestions!! Thank you for being here. πŸ™‚
      Sarah

  • WOW!
    I would add two things. I do them last thing at night (sometimes I fall asleep in the middle), first thing in the morning would be a good time also. I set my intention for the next day and I do gratitude. When I started daily gratitude, things were so bad the only thing I could thing of to be grateful for was that the day was over. It gets easier as you practice (or perform if you prefer) it more. I don’t do the obvious rote stuff all the time like a roof over my head or my family or the food on the table. I am very thankful for those, but I look more for the little things. Who was kind to me that day, a neat bird or animal I saw, a rainbow, something that brought a smile or a laugh to my day. In the beginning I made my self do five things, now I don’t have to give it much thought, it flows.
    When I feel really stressed or angry or unhappy I borrow a technique from the HeartMath Institute, I put my hand over my heart and either think of the happiest day of my life and breathe or do a variation I got from a friend and breathe love into my heart. It works!

  • Kendall Thiessen

    Really helpful advice. I admit sometimes avoid even sharing my failures because you get too much coaching advice or other “be happy” messages. So coming up with some practical steps as you outlined is huge. I think my most challenging one is calling a friend. I have this bad habit of just isolating myself. Hard to get help if you are alone. I also liked the idea of prioritizing projects that have a high likelihood of success–not just what I am good at doing but also what gives my esteem a boost–such as helping others succeed. Somehow that always makes me feel better knowing I am making a positive difference.

    Great post.

    Kendall

  • This was so well written Sarah. Thank you for writing it so others have a resource to know “I’m not the only one.” And of course, having had this experiences (multiple times!) I get what you’re saying.
    These are the times when my daughter reminds me “It’s just not always easy to change your focus” and sometimes it’s not.

    Two ideas that I would add is
    1. Write in a gratitude journal every night at least 5 things you are grateful for. Sometimes, it’s a real stretch but it benefits us in two ways; clears our mind before we sleep so we can sleep better and, it’s a comfort when life really has tough moments and we want help with perspective.
    2. Start a Personal Victory Log and daily, before you leave your office or the time you designate to work, write out what you feel good about that you accomplished – big or small – write it out.

    I’m looking forward to reading more of your posts and am glad I found you through twitter!
    Wishing you joy,
    Anne Nelson
    You’ll find a dozen more in my book “Find Your Joy Zone: How to See What Makes You Happy and Love What Makes You Real.”

  • WOW!
    I would add two things. I do them last thing at night (sometimes I fall asleep in the middle), first thing in the morning would be a good time also. I set my intention for the next day and I do gratitude. When I started daily gratitude, things were so bad the only thing I could thing of to be grateful for was that the day was over. It gets easier as you practice (or perform if you prefer) it more. I don’t do the obvious rote stuff all the time like a roof over my head or my family or the food on the table. I am very thankful for those, but I look more for the little things. Who was kind to me that day, a neat bird or animal I saw, a rainbow, something that brought a smile or a laugh to my day. In the beginning I made my self do five things, now I don’t have to give it much thought, it flows.
    When I feel really stressed or angry or unhappy I borrow a technique from the HeartMath Institute, I put my hand over my heart and either think of the happiest day of my life and breathe or do a variation I got from a friend and breathe love into my heart. It works!

  • Kendall Thiessen

    Really helpful advice. I admit sometimes avoid even sharing my failures because you get too much coaching advice or other “be happy” messages. So coming up with some practical steps as you outlined is huge. I think my most challenging one is calling a friend. I have this bad habit of just isolating myself. Hard to get help if you are alone. I also liked the idea of prioritizing projects that have a high likelihood of success–not just what I am good at doing but also what gives my esteem a boost–such as helping others succeed. Somehow that always makes me feel better knowing I am making a positive difference.

    Great post.

    Kendall

  • This was so well written Sarah. Thank you for writing it so others have a resource to know “I’m not the only one.” And of course, having had this experiences (multiple times!) I get what you’re saying.
    These are the times when my daughter reminds me “It’s just not always easy to change your focus” and sometimes it’s not.

    Two ideas that I would add is
    1. Write in a gratitude journal every night at least 5 things you are grateful for. Sometimes, it’s a real stretch but it benefits us in two ways; clears our mind before we sleep so we can sleep better and, it’s a comfort when life really has tough moments and we want help with perspective.
    2. Start a Personal Victory Log and daily, before you leave your office or the time you designate to work, write out what you feel good about that you accomplished – big or small – write it out.

    I’m looking forward to reading more of your posts and am glad I found you through twitter!
    Wishing you joy,
    Anne Nelson
    You’ll find a dozen more in my book “Find Your Joy Zone: How to See What Makes You Happy and Love What Makes You Real.”

  • Mary Barber

    What a wonderful post Sarah. Thanks for putting out there what we all know we go through but somehow don’t talk about because somehow we feel it makes us weaker. It doesn’t and your post reminds us of that. What I like best, though, is your plan for getting past the point that brought you down and back on the path to success. I like it…think I’ll go take a walk now…or maybe a nap. I can walk later.

    Mary

    • admin

      Mary – I am so glad this post brought that secret out into the light. Keeping the secret that failure feels horrible doesn’t help anyone – at least that is what I believe! And yes – I highly recommend the nap over the walk!!
      Sarah

  • Mary Barber

    What a wonderful post Sarah. Thanks for putting out there what we all know we go through but somehow don’t talk about because somehow we feel it makes us weaker. It doesn’t and your post reminds us of that. What I like best, though, is your plan for getting past the point that brought you down and back on the path to success. I like it…think I’ll go take a walk now…or maybe a nap. I can walk later.

    Mary

  • Mary Barber

    What a wonderful post Sarah. Thanks for putting out there what we all know we go through but somehow don’t talk about because somehow we feel it makes us weaker. It doesn’t and your post reminds us of that. What I like best, though, is your plan for getting past the point that brought you down and back on the path to success. I like it…think I’ll go take a walk now…or maybe a nap. I can walk later.

    Mary

  • admin

    Jennifer – you are so right. Entrepreneurs go through some tough stuff. I’m glad The Grid sounds like a helpful tool. πŸ™‚ Thanks for being here my friend.

    Sarah

  • admin

    Jennifer – you are so right. Entrepreneurs go through some tough stuff. I’m glad The Grid sounds like a helpful tool. πŸ™‚ Thanks for being here my friend.

    Sarah

  • admin

    Santa Fe Traveler~
    You are SO right about Gratitude!! I almost put it in the grid – and then for some reason left it off. And I like that you look for the UNcommon stuff to be grateful for – the little things. I truly believe our lives reside in the little things. πŸ™‚ And the hand over your heart idea – astonishingly beautiful. Am adding to my own grid immediatly!
    Sarah

  • admin

    Santa Fe Traveler~
    You are SO right about Gratitude!! I almost put it in the grid – and then for some reason left it off. And I like that you look for the UNcommon stuff to be grateful for – the little things. I truly believe our lives reside in the little things. πŸ™‚ And the hand over your heart idea – astonishingly beautiful. Am adding to my own grid immediatly!
    Sarah

  • Susanna Pollock

    You spoke the very words that I think many of us think but don’t dare speak out loud. Failure is a part of life in all that we do. For all we know when we wake up the coffee maker might fail (That in our house would cause complete devastation!) that morning, etc. For me, especially lately, the message has been how am I going to respond/react to this “failure” situation. My response has been reminding myself when I feel like that failure, is to remove that emotion it incurs and replace with a positive reaction/action. Have to admit, failure does make us stronger if we let it but it sure doesn’t feel very good!

  • Susanna Pollock

    You spoke the very words that I think many of us think but don’t dare speak out loud. Failure is a part of life in all that we do. For all we know when we wake up the coffee maker might fail (That in our house would cause complete devastation!) that morning, etc. For me, especially lately, the message has been how am I going to respond/react to this “failure” situation. My response has been reminding myself when I feel like that failure, is to remove that emotion it incurs and replace with a positive reaction/action. Have to admit, failure does make us stronger if we let it but it sure doesn’t feel very good!

  • admin

    Kendall – The transparency of your comment is beautifully stunning. I think we all hide our failures because of those very messages – and I think it does us all a disservice. I love the ideas you’ve picked out to try, too. I will be anxious to hear how it goes!

    Sarah

  • admin

    Kendall – The transparency of your comment is beautifully stunning. I think we all hide our failures because of those very messages – and I think it does us all a disservice. I love the ideas you’ve picked out to try, too. I will be anxious to hear how it goes!

    Sarah

  • admin

    Anne – you’ve made two EXCELLENT additions to The Grid! I think I might do an updated post that includes everyone’s suggestions!! Thank you for being here. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

  • admin

    Anne – you’ve made two EXCELLENT additions to The Grid! I think I might do an updated post that includes everyone’s suggestions!! Thank you for being here. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

  • admin

    Mary – I am so glad this post brought that secret out into the light. Keeping the secret that failure feels horrible doesn’t help anyone – at least that is what I believe! And yes – I highly recommend the nap over the walk!!
    Sarah

  • admin

    Mary – I am so glad this post brought that secret out into the light. Keeping the secret that failure feels horrible doesn’t help anyone – at least that is what I believe! And yes – I highly recommend the nap over the walk!!
    Sarah

  • admin

    Susanna-
    Yep – failure is just a part of living and working, yet we keep it such a hush-hush secret – like it never happens to anyone else EVER!! I like your idea of acknowledging the feeling and then actively choosing to replace the feeling. Good for you for getting stronger!
    Sarah

    • Sarah,
      I greatly admire and respect someone who can put it all out there and embrace others with lessons wrought from pain.

      The “grid” is like a lifeline that you can follow back from the dark pit of failure. Having clear steps, routines, that you know will lead you back speeds up the process. My wife and Muse tells me she can tell my mental state just by looking at the order (or lack) on my desk. So I’ve learned to pay attention to what sane, happy, and productive look like so that I can at least get back into the motions of it all. Like your enforced walks (a habit I would do well to emulate) any positive pattern can lead you back.

      Something I’ve noticed in myself, and I wonder if others have had a similar perception, is that just going into the pain fully seems to speed the healing. It’s kind of like what I’ve seen done with wounds that are slow to hear – the physician actually re injures the wound to stimulate healing. At times I’ve just made up my mind to go ahead and be as depressed as possible and really wallow in it and after a while I find myself saying, “OK, I’m tired of THAT” and I just get back in the saddle of life.

      Your thoughts?

  • admin

    Susanna-
    Yep – failure is just a part of living and working, yet we keep it such a hush-hush secret – like it never happens to anyone else EVER!! I like your idea of acknowledging the feeling and then actively choosing to replace the feeling. Good for you for getting stronger!
    Sarah

  • admin

    Susanna-
    Yep – failure is just a part of living and working, yet we keep it such a hush-hush secret – like it never happens to anyone else EVER!! I like your idea of acknowledging the feeling and then actively choosing to replace the feeling. Good for you for getting stronger!
    Sarah

  • Sarah,
    I greatly admire and respect someone who can put it all out there and embrace others with lessons wrought from pain.

    The “grid” is like a lifeline that you can follow back from the dark pit of failure. Having clear steps, routines, that you know will lead you back speeds up the process. My wife and Muse tells me she can tell my mental state just by looking at the order (or lack) on my desk. So I’ve learned to pay attention to what sane, happy, and productive look like so that I can at least get back into the motions of it all. Like your enforced walks (a habit I would do well to emulate) any positive pattern can lead you back.

    Something I’ve noticed in myself, and I wonder if others have had a similar perception, is that just going into the pain fully seems to speed the healing. It’s kind of like what I’ve seen done with wounds that are slow to hear – the physician actually re injures the wound to stimulate healing. At times I’ve just made up my mind to go ahead and be as depressed as possible and really wallow in it and after a while I find myself saying, “OK, I’m tired of THAT” and I just get back in the saddle of life.

    Your thoughts?

  • Sarah,
    I greatly admire and respect someone who can put it all out there and embrace others with lessons wrought from pain.

    The “grid” is like a lifeline that you can follow back from the dark pit of failure. Having clear steps, routines, that you know will lead you back speeds up the process. My wife and Muse tells me she can tell my mental state just by looking at the order (or lack) on my desk. So I’ve learned to pay attention to what sane, happy, and productive look like so that I can at least get back into the motions of it all. Like your enforced walks (a habit I would do well to emulate) any positive pattern can lead you back.

    Something I’ve noticed in myself, and I wonder if others have had a similar perception, is that just going into the pain fully seems to speed the healing. It’s kind of like what I’ve seen done with wounds that are slow to hear – the physician actually re injures the wound to stimulate healing. At times I’ve just made up my mind to go ahead and be as depressed as possible and really wallow in it and after a while I find myself saying, “OK, I’m tired of THAT” and I just get back in the saddle of life.

    Your thoughts?

  • This is brilliant. I’m in a place right now where I should probably be walking the grid. Or even just walking, period.

    For me, I think I would add doing something creative with my hands. I like to sew, but whatever works for you. It helps me get unstuck and feel productive – because, look, I made something. I can obviously accomplish something and it’s tangible, too boot.

  • This is brilliant. I’m in a place right now where I should probably be walking the grid. Or even just walking, period.

    For me, I think I would add doing something creative with my hands. I like to sew, but whatever works for you. It helps me get unstuck and feel productive – because, look, I made something. I can obviously accomplish something and it’s tangible, too boot.

  • This is brilliant. I’m in a place right now where I should probably be walking the grid. Or even just walking, period.

    For me, I think I would add doing something creative with my hands. I like to sew, but whatever works for you. It helps me get unstuck and feel productive – because, look, I made something. I can obviously accomplish something and it’s tangible, too boot.

  • An excellent technique to consider, with useful specifics.

    Is it more useful to add items to The Grid, or to keep it simple?

  • An excellent technique to consider, with useful specifics.

    Is it more useful to add items to The Grid, or to keep it simple?

  • An excellent technique to consider, with useful specifics.

    Is it more useful to add items to The Grid, or to keep it simple?

  • I like this list of things you’re doing to pick yourself up and feel happy. I like how you are determined to walk every morning, even more so when you’re not feeling like it.

    Here’s a question about your point #6 (“I give priority to working on the projects that make me feel really good, really smart and really talented): how do you actually know which projects are those that make you feel good, smart, and talented? Often you don’t actually determine whether something is causing you to feel a certain way (i.e., good, smart, talented) until you’re well into the project (or when you’re actually done with it), and even then, your feelings may easily have been confounded by other factors of which you may or may not cognizant (for example: perhaps talking with a trusted friend or colleague, as you mentioned in your point #2, elevated your mood more than working on a project that day). So how do you actually decide on which projects to work? And how are you determining which projects are making you feel good and talented, given that we as humans may easily be swayed to feel a certain way by a plethora of daily activities, trifles, encounters, conversations, and the like?

    Cheers,

    ~Eugene

  • I like this list of things you’re doing to pick yourself up and feel happy. I like how you are determined to walk every morning, even more so when you’re not feeling like it.

    Here’s a question about your point #6 (“I give priority to working on the projects that make me feel really good, really smart and really talented): how do you actually know which projects are those that make you feel good, smart, and talented? Often you don’t actually determine whether something is causing you to feel a certain way (i.e., good, smart, talented) until you’re well into the project (or when you’re actually done with it), and even then, your feelings may easily have been confounded by other factors of which you may or may not cognizant (for example: perhaps talking with a trusted friend or colleague, as you mentioned in your point #2, elevated your mood more than working on a project that day). So how do you actually decide on which projects to work? And how are you determining which projects are making you feel good and talented, given that we as humans may easily be swayed to feel a certain way by a plethora of daily activities, trifles, encounters, conversations, and the like?

    Cheers,

    ~Eugene

  • I like this list of things you’re doing to pick yourself up and feel happy. I like how you are determined to walk every morning, even more so when you’re not feeling like it.

    Here’s a question about your point #6 (“I give priority to working on the projects that make me feel really good, really smart and really talented): how do you actually know which projects are those that make you feel good, smart, and talented? Often you don’t actually determine whether something is causing you to feel a certain way (i.e., good, smart, talented) until you’re well into the project (or when you’re actually done with it), and even then, your feelings may easily have been confounded by other factors of which you may or may not cognizant (for example: perhaps talking with a trusted friend or colleague, as you mentioned in your point #2, elevated your mood more than working on a project that day). So how do you actually decide on which projects to work? And how are you determining which projects are making you feel good and talented, given that we as humans may easily be swayed to feel a certain way by a plethora of daily activities, trifles, encounters, conversations, and the like?

    Cheers,

    ~Eugene

  • Sarah, wow! You have shared what I have felt many, many times. Like Kendall, I tend to withdraw when I am not in a strong, successful position because it’s the easiest thing to do. I hope you know what a comforting feeling it is to know that people I admire so much go through all the same feelings I do. This is actually helping all of us to become more powerful by knowing we share your feelings. It tells us it’s okay to go through this because others do too.

    My final thought to you (at least for tonight!) is that I want you to know that you can consider me one of those people you can call any time, night or day, if you are going through this again, and even when you aren’t! Here I am: 317-370-9684.

    Thank you so much for sharing—you are absolutely wonderful!

  • Sarah, wow! You have shared what I have felt many, many times. Like Kendall, I tend to withdraw when I am not in a strong, successful position because it’s the easiest thing to do. I hope you know what a comforting feeling it is to know that people I admire so much go through all the same feelings I do. This is actually helping all of us to become more powerful by knowing we share your feelings. It tells us it’s okay to go through this because others do too.

    My final thought to you (at least for tonight!) is that I want you to know that you can consider me one of those people you can call any time, night or day, if you are going through this again, and even when you aren’t! Here I am: 317-370-9684.

    Thank you so much for sharing—you are absolutely wonderful!

  • Sarah, wow! You have shared what I have felt many, many times. Like Kendall, I tend to withdraw when I am not in a strong, successful position because it’s the easiest thing to do. I hope you know what a comforting feeling it is to know that people I admire so much go through all the same feelings I do. This is actually helping all of us to become more powerful by knowing we share your feelings. It tells us it’s okay to go through this because others do too.

    My final thought to you (at least for tonight!) is that I want you to know that you can consider me one of those people you can call any time, night or day, if you are going through this again, and even when you aren’t! Here I am: 317-370-9684.

    Thank you so much for sharing—you are absolutely wonderful!

  • Hi Sarah – thanks for the courage to write this! Whenever any of us have set backs so severe that all the usual spiritual methods fail to have meaning (at that point) there is a period when practical common sense and survival skills kick in. Mine were playing tennis and writing! It’s the practial “walking the grid” that leads us to inner reflection through denial, anger, grief, and finally acceptance. It can take 2 weeks or 2 years -doesn’t matter. We all have different coping mechanisms – great advice!

    • admin

      Amber – I love your addition to your Grid because yes – it’s about doing SOMETHING that makes use of our time and makes us feel like we are capable. Yeah for you!
      Sarah

  • Hi Sarah – thanks for the courage to write this! Whenever any of us have set backs so severe that all the usual spiritual methods fail to have meaning (at that point) there is a period when practical common sense and survival skills kick in. Mine were playing tennis and writing! It’s the practial “walking the grid” that leads us to inner reflection through denial, anger, grief, and finally acceptance. It can take 2 weeks or 2 years -doesn’t matter. We all have different coping mechanisms – great advice!

  • Hi Sarah – thanks for the courage to write this! Whenever any of us have set backs so severe that all the usual spiritual methods fail to have meaning (at that point) there is a period when practical common sense and survival skills kick in. Mine were playing tennis and writing! It’s the practial “walking the grid” that leads us to inner reflection through denial, anger, grief, and finally acceptance. It can take 2 weeks or 2 years -doesn’t matter. We all have different coping mechanisms – great advice!

  • Sarah as ever your honesty in facing life’s hurdles warms my heart. The friendship that develops in these times reminds me of Kahlil Gibrans quote “The secret of the heart is encased in sorrow, and only in sorrow is found our joy.” and I believe that when you talk about friendship you share my belief that hearts united through sorrow will not be separated. Be well my friend. Love Colin

    • admin

      Victor-
      I think the beauty of a grid is simplicity. I also think that everyone’s grid is going to be slightly different. So we can add and take away the parts we want to so that our grid is simple enough and structured enough to give us what we need. Thrilled that you like the concept!
      Sarah

  • Sarah as ever your honesty in facing life’s hurdles warms my heart. The friendship that develops in these times reminds me of Kahlil Gibrans quote “The secret of the heart is encased in sorrow, and only in sorrow is found our joy.” and I believe that when you talk about friendship you share my belief that hearts united through sorrow will not be separated. Be well my friend. Love Colin

  • Sarah as ever your honesty in facing life’s hurdles warms my heart. The friendship that develops in these times reminds me of Kahlil Gibrans quote “The secret of the heart is encased in sorrow, and only in sorrow is found our joy.” and I believe that when you talk about friendship you share my belief that hearts united through sorrow will not be separated. Be well my friend. Love Colin

  • Hi Sarah,
    I think what you said was so poignant and not often talked about – well done!
    Your writing is full of character and I particularly enjoyed it when you said about walking:
    “Whether I feel like it or not. In fact, the less I feel like it, the more insistent I am about going.”

    but also included napping in your list!

    Good to get the balance right…

    Excellent self-care (and forgiveness) is important at such times I find but self-discipline is what finally helps lift us back up.
    I also read a lot and write a lot too at these times, often poetry or songs…. very cathartic, a great way to forgive myself and others an get back on track into an ‘I’m OK, you’re OK’ mindset again.

    At the end of the day, setbacks are what determine our entrepreneurial character and leadership and give us our bouncebackability!

    • admin

      Eugene – That is an excellent question. Yes as human being our feelings are fickle – even more so when we are under stress I think. I tend to go with my gut reaction when I ‘m choosing a project to work on. When I look at it or think about it, does it make me feel even slightly better – or does it make me feel more stressed? And trutch be told, sometimes NO project feels really good to me, so I pick what I know I am good at – because I will, at the very least, feel capable. And on a particularly bad day, feeling capable is an excellent accomplishment.

      Hope this helps answer your question!
      Sarah

  • Hi Sarah,
    I think what you said was so poignant and not often talked about – well done!
    Your writing is full of character and I particularly enjoyed it when you said about walking:
    “Whether I feel like it or not. In fact, the less I feel like it, the more insistent I am about going.”

    but also included napping in your list!

    Good to get the balance right…

    Excellent self-care (and forgiveness) is important at such times I find but self-discipline is what finally helps lift us back up.
    I also read a lot and write a lot too at these times, often poetry or songs…. very cathartic, a great way to forgive myself and others an get back on track into an ‘I’m OK, you’re OK’ mindset again.

    At the end of the day, setbacks are what determine our entrepreneurial character and leadership and give us our bouncebackability!

  • Hi Sarah,
    I think what you said was so poignant and not often talked about – well done!
    Your writing is full of character and I particularly enjoyed it when you said about walking:
    “Whether I feel like it or not. In fact, the less I feel like it, the more insistent I am about going.”

    but also included napping in your list!

    Good to get the balance right…

    Excellent self-care (and forgiveness) is important at such times I find but self-discipline is what finally helps lift us back up.
    I also read a lot and write a lot too at these times, often poetry or songs…. very cathartic, a great way to forgive myself and others an get back on track into an ‘I’m OK, you’re OK’ mindset again.

    At the end of the day, setbacks are what determine our entrepreneurial character and leadership and give us our bouncebackability!

  • in the long run, I’ve found the more you acknowledge failure, the less it affects you over time. It still sucks, nobody will ever like being told or finding out “you’re not good enough for this right now” or similar.

    • admin

      Nancy – One of the best parts of this post is that more & more people are stepping up and saying “yeah – me too and I thought I was the only one!” I am thrilled that you find comfort and inspiration in it. And thank you for your offer of support. Means so much!
      Sarah

  • in the long run, I’ve found the more you acknowledge failure, the less it affects you over time. It still sucks, nobody will ever like being told or finding out “you’re not good enough for this right now” or similar.

  • in the long run, I’ve found the more you acknowledge failure, the less it affects you over time. It still sucks, nobody will ever like being told or finding out “you’re not good enough for this right now” or similar.

  • Sometimes, when frustration and/or fear and or whatever-uncomfortable looms large, I hear Cesar Milan’s voice: “Have you walked the dogs?” I don’t even have any actual dogs, but inside myself, yes: lots of dogs that need to be walked. Thanks for the post. Awesome.

    • admin

      Dorothy – Yep – sometimes the spiritual stuff feels so hollow and fails to bring any comfort at all (and kudos to YOU for saying that out loud!) that the only things we can do are the hard practical things that will help us survive the storm. Everyone’s grid is unique and personal to them, but having one is what makes all the difference. πŸ™‚
      Sarah

  • Sometimes, when frustration and/or fear and or whatever-uncomfortable looms large, I hear Cesar Milan’s voice: “Have you walked the dogs?” I don’t even have any actual dogs, but inside myself, yes: lots of dogs that need to be walked. Thanks for the post. Awesome.

  • Sometimes, when frustration and/or fear and or whatever-uncomfortable looms large, I hear Cesar Milan’s voice: “Have you walked the dogs?” I don’t even have any actual dogs, but inside myself, yes: lots of dogs that need to be walked. Thanks for the post. Awesome.

  • Earnest post, I really enjoyed it. Although you don’t come out and say it, your 10 steps are all steps toward effective efficiency and potent self help. I love that and have been using a lot of them (sans the crying, heh) in my life design project. I find that most times perspective helps pick me up and continue running, I’ve coined every step along the way that I can’t call clear success a “successful failure.” I was just reading Seneca yesterday and he was commenting on how to move past grief when losing a loved one. There is something innate in us that wants to shut down when we fail, or something is lost to us. That human response is greater in some than others, and although it’s a needed action, we can train ourselves to quickly rebound. I try to remind myself every time I fall short or completely #FAIL, I’ll know how to get up faster and avoid falling in that same hole next time. Whatever just blew up in your face, I bet you’ll look thoroughly into the next time around! Great post! I hope we all learn how to bounce back that much quicker from your words.

    • This is beautiful, Sarah – and it resonated with many, as I can see by the amount of time I had to scroll to get to the bottom of the comments!! (: It resonates with me too. You did such a good job descring the depth of your pain, the level of your investment and hope, anyone who calls themselves an entrepreneur can identify and feel less alone.
      I love the phrase – “walk the grid.” I haven’t heard of it before, but I’m sure I’ll be using it now! I identified most with your comment about keeping things simple. It seems at times when I feel like I’m a loser, if I go back to the basics, I’m way better off. If I remember the beauty in the small, simple things AND the consistency of those things, as in nature. It reminds me that this too shall pass, and that what is most important in this world will never pass, never fail, and will always exist.

  • Earnest post, I really enjoyed it. Although you don’t come out and say it, your 10 steps are all steps toward effective efficiency and potent self help. I love that and have been using a lot of them (sans the crying, heh) in my life design project. I find that most times perspective helps pick me up and continue running, I’ve coined every step along the way that I can’t call clear success a “successful failure.” I was just reading Seneca yesterday and he was commenting on how to move past grief when losing a loved one. There is something innate in us that wants to shut down when we fail, or something is lost to us. That human response is greater in some than others, and although it’s a needed action, we can train ourselves to quickly rebound. I try to remind myself every time I fall short or completely #FAIL, I’ll know how to get up faster and avoid falling in that same hole next time. Whatever just blew up in your face, I bet you’ll look thoroughly into the next time around! Great post! I hope we all learn how to bounce back that much quicker from your words.

  • Earnest post, I really enjoyed it. Although you don’t come out and say it, your 10 steps are all steps toward effective efficiency and potent self help. I love that and have been using a lot of them (sans the crying, heh) in my life design project. I find that most times perspective helps pick me up and continue running, I’ve coined every step along the way that I can’t call clear success a “successful failure.” I was just reading Seneca yesterday and he was commenting on how to move past grief when losing a loved one. There is something innate in us that wants to shut down when we fail, or something is lost to us. That human response is greater in some than others, and although it’s a needed action, we can train ourselves to quickly rebound. I try to remind myself every time I fall short or completely #FAIL, I’ll know how to get up faster and avoid falling in that same hole next time. Whatever just blew up in your face, I bet you’ll look thoroughly into the next time around! Great post! I hope we all learn how to bounce back that much quicker from your words.

  • admin

    Hi Michael!
    Your comment reminded me of something a therapist said to me years ago. “Try and touch the bottom of the pain – I don’t think you will find that it is as deep as you think it is. Treading water is going to drowned you. ” And so – yes I agree. I think finding out exactly how deep it goes and letting myself feel the depth fully is far better than trying to avoid or even guess how deep it “might” be. And I love the image of rolling around in it – because sometimes it just feels good to do that. And when it stops feeling good, we can get up and leave it behind.

    Sarah

  • admin

    Hi Michael!
    Your comment reminded me of something a therapist said to me years ago. “Try and touch the bottom of the pain – I don’t think you will find that it is as deep as you think it is. Treading water is going to drowned you. ” And so – yes I agree. I think finding out exactly how deep it goes and letting myself feel the depth fully is far better than trying to avoid or even guess how deep it “might” be. And I love the image of rolling around in it – because sometimes it just feels good to do that. And when it stops feeling good, we can get up and leave it behind.

    Sarah

  • admin

    Hi Michael!
    Your comment reminded me of something a therapist said to me years ago. “Try and touch the bottom of the pain – I don’t think you will find that it is as deep as you think it is. Treading water is going to drowned you. ” And so – yes I agree. I think finding out exactly how deep it goes and letting myself feel the depth fully is far better than trying to avoid or even guess how deep it “might” be. And I love the image of rolling around in it – because sometimes it just feels good to do that. And when it stops feeling good, we can get up and leave it behind.

    Sarah

  • admin

    Amber – I love your addition to your Grid because yes – it’s about doing SOMETHING that makes use of our time and makes us feel like we are capable. Yeah for you!
    Sarah

  • admin

    Amber – I love your addition to your Grid because yes – it’s about doing SOMETHING that makes use of our time and makes us feel like we are capable. Yeah for you!
    Sarah

  • admin

    Victor-
    I think the beauty of a grid is simplicity. I also think that everyone’s grid is going to be slightly different. So we can add and take away the parts we want to so that our grid is simple enough and structured enough to give us what we need. Thrilled that you like the concept!
    Sarah

  • admin

    Victor-
    I think the beauty of a grid is simplicity. I also think that everyone’s grid is going to be slightly different. So we can add and take away the parts we want to so that our grid is simple enough and structured enough to give us what we need. Thrilled that you like the concept!
    Sarah

  • admin

    Eugene – That is an excellent question. Yes as human being our feelings are fickle – even more so when we are under stress I think. I tend to go with my gut reaction when I ‘m choosing a project to work on. When I look at it or think about it, does it make me feel even slightly better – or does it make me feel more stressed? And trutch be told, sometimes NO project feels really good to me, so I pick what I know I am good at – because I will, at the very least, feel capable. And on a particularly bad day, feeling capable is an excellent accomplishment.

    Hope this helps answer your question!
    Sarah

  • admin

    Eugene – That is an excellent question. Yes as human being our feelings are fickle – even more so when we are under stress I think. I tend to go with my gut reaction when I ‘m choosing a project to work on. When I look at it or think about it, does it make me feel even slightly better – or does it make me feel more stressed? And trutch be told, sometimes NO project feels really good to me, so I pick what I know I am good at – because I will, at the very least, feel capable. And on a particularly bad day, feeling capable is an excellent accomplishment.

    Hope this helps answer your question!
    Sarah

  • admin

    Nancy – One of the best parts of this post is that more & more people are stepping up and saying “yeah – me too and I thought I was the only one!” I am thrilled that you find comfort and inspiration in it. And thank you for your offer of support. Means so much!
    Sarah

  • admin

    Nancy – One of the best parts of this post is that more & more people are stepping up and saying “yeah – me too and I thought I was the only one!” I am thrilled that you find comfort and inspiration in it. And thank you for your offer of support. Means so much!
    Sarah

  • admin

    Dorothy – Yep – sometimes the spiritual stuff feels so hollow and fails to bring any comfort at all (and kudos to YOU for saying that out loud!) that the only things we can do are the hard practical things that will help us survive the storm. Everyone’s grid is unique and personal to them, but having one is what makes all the difference. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

  • admin

    Dorothy – Yep – sometimes the spiritual stuff feels so hollow and fails to bring any comfort at all (and kudos to YOU for saying that out loud!) that the only things we can do are the hard practical things that will help us survive the storm. Everyone’s grid is unique and personal to them, but having one is what makes all the difference. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

  • This is beautiful, Sarah – and it resonated with many, as I can see by the amount of time I had to scroll to get to the bottom of the comments!! (: It resonates with me too. You did such a good job descring the depth of your pain, the level of your investment and hope, anyone who calls themselves an entrepreneur can identify and feel less alone.
    I love the phrase – “walk the grid.” I haven’t heard of it before, but I’m sure I’ll be using it now! I identified most with your comment about keeping things simple. It seems at times when I feel like I’m a loser, if I go back to the basics, I’m way better off. If I remember the beauty in the small, simple things AND the consistency of those things, as in nature. It reminds me that this too shall pass, and that what is most important in this world will never pass, never fail, and will always exist.

  • This is beautiful, Sarah – and it resonated with many, as I can see by the amount of time I had to scroll to get to the bottom of the comments!! (: It resonates with me too. You did such a good job descring the depth of your pain, the level of your investment and hope, anyone who calls themselves an entrepreneur can identify and feel less alone.
    I love the phrase – “walk the grid.” I haven’t heard of it before, but I’m sure I’ll be using it now! I identified most with your comment about keeping things simple. It seems at times when I feel like I’m a loser, if I go back to the basics, I’m way better off. If I remember the beauty in the small, simple things AND the consistency of those things, as in nature. It reminds me that this too shall pass, and that what is most important in this world will never pass, never fail, and will always exist.

  • This is a great piece, Sarah, both in terms of the practical advice you provide and the manner in which it allows you to share a lesson learned with others. I agree that there’s not a long of help out there about what to do when you fail, but I think your piece does a great job of filling in that void. After reading your piece, though, I think this advice isn’t just useful for entrepreneurs as it is for any point in our life where we face a failure in something we’ve worked hard on – whether it’s a project that failed or perhaps a relationship that has gone sour, the tips you provide here are great guideposts for people to help get through the emotional turmoil and get back up and out there, ready for the next challenge.

    Again, thanks for sharing your experience. I think many will find both comfort and renewed spirit knowing others have experienced the same.

  • This is a great piece, Sarah, both in terms of the practical advice you provide and the manner in which it allows you to share a lesson learned with others. I agree that there’s not a long of help out there about what to do when you fail, but I think your piece does a great job of filling in that void. After reading your piece, though, I think this advice isn’t just useful for entrepreneurs as it is for any point in our life where we face a failure in something we’ve worked hard on – whether it’s a project that failed or perhaps a relationship that has gone sour, the tips you provide here are great guideposts for people to help get through the emotional turmoil and get back up and out there, ready for the next challenge.

    Again, thanks for sharing your experience. I think many will find both comfort and renewed spirit knowing others have experienced the same.

  • This is a great piece, Sarah, both in terms of the practical advice you provide and the manner in which it allows you to share a lesson learned with others. I agree that there’s not a long of help out there about what to do when you fail, but I think your piece does a great job of filling in that void. After reading your piece, though, I think this advice isn’t just useful for entrepreneurs as it is for any point in our life where we face a failure in something we’ve worked hard on – whether it’s a project that failed or perhaps a relationship that has gone sour, the tips you provide here are great guideposts for people to help get through the emotional turmoil and get back up and out there, ready for the next challenge.

    Again, thanks for sharing your experience. I think many will find both comfort and renewed spirit knowing others have experienced the same.

  • Sarah,

    I said this last night, but I want to say it here, tooβ€”there’s nothing more powerful than soaking in the truth of the emotions, pulling out the ugly truth, looking at it, and then creating measurable action steps. It’s a heady feeling.

    This post is powerful, as evidenced by the brilliant comments. What a community you have around you!

    I know failing sucks, but if it helps, you do it admirably. Wink.

    Love you,

    Jen

  • Sarah,

    I said this last night, but I want to say it here, tooβ€”there’s nothing more powerful than soaking in the truth of the emotions, pulling out the ugly truth, looking at it, and then creating measurable action steps. It’s a heady feeling.

    This post is powerful, as evidenced by the brilliant comments. What a community you have around you!

    I know failing sucks, but if it helps, you do it admirably. Wink.

    Love you,

    Jen

  • Sarah,

    I said this last night, but I want to say it here, tooβ€”there’s nothing more powerful than soaking in the truth of the emotions, pulling out the ugly truth, looking at it, and then creating measurable action steps. It’s a heady feeling.

    This post is powerful, as evidenced by the brilliant comments. What a community you have around you!

    I know failing sucks, but if it helps, you do it admirably. Wink.

    Love you,

    Jen

  • admin

    Colin- YOU are one part of my grid that I count on most!
    Love,
    Sarah

  • admin

    Colin- YOU are one part of my grid that I count on most!
    Love,
    Sarah

  • admin

    Colin- YOU are one part of my grid that I count on most!
    Love,
    Sarah

  • admin

    Roberta – Yes, I think the right balance between structure, self care and self discipline IS what makes all the difference (and I’m glad you appreciate naps, too!). Being an entrepreneur is not for the weak of heart and trial by fire is what proves our metal, yes?!
    Sarah

  • admin

    Roberta – Yes, I think the right balance between structure, self care and self discipline IS what makes all the difference (and I’m glad you appreciate naps, too!). Being an entrepreneur is not for the weak of heart and trial by fire is what proves our metal, yes?!
    Sarah

  • admin

    Roberta – Yes, I think the right balance between structure, self care and self discipline IS what makes all the difference (and I’m glad you appreciate naps, too!). Being an entrepreneur is not for the weak of heart and trial by fire is what proves our metal, yes?!
    Sarah

  • admin

    Ah Mark – nope, nobody likes feeling less than and/or not good enough. It’s the razor’s edge of failing. But like all wounds – the experience heals up leaving only the smallest trace of a scar. So glad you are here. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

  • admin

    Ah Mark – nope, nobody likes feeling less than and/or not good enough. It’s the razor’s edge of failing. But like all wounds – the experience heals up leaving only the smallest trace of a scar. So glad you are here. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

  • admin

    Ah Mark – nope, nobody likes feeling less than and/or not good enough. It’s the razor’s edge of failing. But like all wounds – the experience heals up leaving only the smallest trace of a scar. So glad you are here. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

  • admin

    Heidi – yeah that Ceasar has some great ideas for calming OUR stress. And there are lots of times when “walking the dog” is about the best idea I can come up with for the next step to take. SO glad you found your way here. Welcome to the Tribe. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

  • This is a great post; thank you.

    I love all the comments and all of the additional wisdom and support that laces within each one.

    I find that getting out of myself helps—-listening to people I know or people I don’t know and getting outside of my failure for a bit to realize I don’t have the corner on struggle and to find perspective.

    I look for the lessons in the failure—that gives me such hope because there is always juicy things I could do differently and I find such relief in finding ‘my part’ in things that cause me pain.

    I use my humor after I have been in the ‘heavy truth’ about my plight. Humor is so amazingly healing for me; even if people are mean spirited—sharing the humor of that with people who know and love me is so refreshing.

    Psst: I love the authors you mentioned as well.

    Peace πŸ™‚

    thanks so much.

  • admin

    Heidi – yeah that Ceasar has some great ideas for calming OUR stress. And there are lots of times when “walking the dog” is about the best idea I can come up with for the next step to take. SO glad you found your way here. Welcome to the Tribe. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

  • This is a great post; thank you.

    I love all the comments and all of the additional wisdom and support that laces within each one.

    I find that getting out of myself helps—-listening to people I know or people I don’t know and getting outside of my failure for a bit to realize I don’t have the corner on struggle and to find perspective.

    I look for the lessons in the failure—that gives me such hope because there is always juicy things I could do differently and I find such relief in finding ‘my part’ in things that cause me pain.

    I use my humor after I have been in the ‘heavy truth’ about my plight. Humor is so amazingly healing for me; even if people are mean spirited—sharing the humor of that with people who know and love me is so refreshing.

    Psst: I love the authors you mentioned as well.

    Peace πŸ™‚

    thanks so much.

  • admin

    Heidi – yeah that Ceasar has some great ideas for calming OUR stress. And there are lots of times when “walking the dog” is about the best idea I can come up with for the next step to take. SO glad you found your way here. Welcome to the Tribe. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

  • This is a great post; thank you.

    I love all the comments and all of the additional wisdom and support that laces within each one.

    I find that getting out of myself helps—-listening to people I know or people I don’t know and getting outside of my failure for a bit to realize I don’t have the corner on struggle and to find perspective.

    I look for the lessons in the failure—that gives me such hope because there is always juicy things I could do differently and I find such relief in finding ‘my part’ in things that cause me pain.

    I use my humor after I have been in the ‘heavy truth’ about my plight. Humor is so amazingly healing for me; even if people are mean spirited—sharing the humor of that with people who know and love me is so refreshing.

    Psst: I love the authors you mentioned as well.

    Peace πŸ™‚

    thanks so much.

  • admin

    Robert – I LOVE that you read Seneca (I was a Latin major & he is one of my favorites). And you are so right. We do get wiser with each failure (and I seem to have mastered the “successful failure”!). For me, I have to walk the grid for a bit before I a) care and b) am capable of discerning the lesson. And I try to remember that broken bones are stronger in the place where they mend themselves. Thrilled that you are here!
    Sarah

  • admin

    Robert – I LOVE that you read Seneca (I was a Latin major & he is one of my favorites). And you are so right. We do get wiser with each failure (and I seem to have mastered the “successful failure”!). For me, I have to walk the grid for a bit before I a) care and b) am capable of discerning the lesson. And I try to remember that broken bones are stronger in the place where they mend themselves. Thrilled that you are here!
    Sarah

  • admin

    Robert – I LOVE that you read Seneca (I was a Latin major & he is one of my favorites). And you are so right. We do get wiser with each failure (and I seem to have mastered the “successful failure”!). For me, I have to walk the grid for a bit before I a) care and b) am capable of discerning the lesson. And I try to remember that broken bones are stronger in the place where they mend themselves. Thrilled that you are here!
    Sarah

  • Wow, thank YOU Sarah for identifying a problem we all face.

    For a while, I couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t growing. Then, I listened to a teaching by an pastor who reminded me to thank God for the small stuff in my life. So everyday, I thank God for all the small things he’s blessed me with so far. If I cannot appreciate what I already have, how can God pour out his abundance on me for all the great things He has waiting for me.

    So I think big and thank small all at the same time.

  • Wow, thank YOU Sarah for identifying a problem we all face.

    For a while, I couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t growing. Then, I listened to a teaching by an pastor who reminded me to thank God for the small stuff in my life. So everyday, I thank God for all the small things he’s blessed me with so far. If I cannot appreciate what I already have, how can God pour out his abundance on me for all the great things He has waiting for me.

    So I think big and thank small all at the same time.

  • Wow, thank YOU Sarah for identifying a problem we all face.

    For a while, I couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t growing. Then, I listened to a teaching by an pastor who reminded me to thank God for the small stuff in my life. So everyday, I thank God for all the small things he’s blessed me with so far. If I cannot appreciate what I already have, how can God pour out his abundance on me for all the great things He has waiting for me.

    So I think big and thank small all at the same time.

  • admin

    Tanveer – I think you are right. At the end of the day, heartbreak is heartbreak – never mind the source. Having something to hold onto, like The Grid, makes us all feel less battered by the storm that seems to be raging around us. And I am counting on the fact that, eventually, The Grid will lead me out of the storm all together. Your words of encouragement helped ME today. Thank you. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

  • admin

    Tanveer – I think you are right. At the end of the day, heartbreak is heartbreak – never mind the source. Having something to hold onto, like The Grid, makes us all feel less battered by the storm that seems to be raging around us. And I am counting on the fact that, eventually, The Grid will lead me out of the storm all together. Your words of encouragement helped ME today. Thank you. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

  • admin

    Tanveer – I think you are right. At the end of the day, heartbreak is heartbreak – never mind the source. Having something to hold onto, like The Grid, makes us all feel less battered by the storm that seems to be raging around us. And I am counting on the fact that, eventually, The Grid will lead me out of the storm all together. Your words of encouragement helped ME today. Thank you. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

  • I love this post too, and what struck me as I was reading the comments is that enacting an action plan when you’re facing failure IS an act of faith. Each of those actions says, “I know I can get through this and things will get better.” I don’t believe (and this is just my personal opinion), that faith is just about saying “I believe” and that’s the end of it. It’s taking the steps and doing the action that shows you have faith, especially in times you have no idea what you’re doing or why you’re doing it! I also identify with the idea of feeling your feelings – I’ve been guilty of “stuffing” my feelings many times and just not dealing with them, or, as you suggested, focusing so much on the fear of how bad they could be that I don’t try to find out that things aren’t as bad as I made my mind up that they were. But in the last few years, I’ve worked on accepting my feelings and not identifying them as “right” or “wrong,” and working through them always makes me stronger in the end, and less scared to face them again.

    I keep a gratitude journal myself, also filled with the little things, and somedays I am just glad that the day is over. What I’m so grateful for today, though, is this post and everyone’s comments. In my early 20’s, I was totally panicked a lot of the time, because I never knew what I was doing, didn’t want to admit that (since I thought everyone else knew EXACTLY what they were doing – like they got handed a rule book about being an adult that I missed out on), and was too afraid of looking stupid to ask the questions I had. Luckily, I got over this, and started admitting things to close friends and family when I had no clue what the answers were. And I found out that they didn’t either, and many of my friends had the same doubts, fears, and feelings. WHAT A RELIEF! And that’s what this is for me today, another relief, that shows me that when we admit that things aren’t always perfect, that sometimes we’re scared or that sometimes the “buck up” advice really DOESN’T make you feel better, other people identify with you and solutions can be found and sanity saved. For me, not feeling alone (because I’m also a natural isolator) makes all the difference.

    Really, really love this!
    Lindsay

  • I love this post too, and what struck me as I was reading the comments is that enacting an action plan when you’re facing failure IS an act of faith. Each of those actions says, “I know I can get through this and things will get better.” I don’t believe (and this is just my personal opinion), that faith is just about saying “I believe” and that’s the end of it. It’s taking the steps and doing the action that shows you have faith, especially in times you have no idea what you’re doing or why you’re doing it! I also identify with the idea of feeling your feelings – I’ve been guilty of “stuffing” my feelings many times and just not dealing with them, or, as you suggested, focusing so much on the fear of how bad they could be that I don’t try to find out that things aren’t as bad as I made my mind up that they were. But in the last few years, I’ve worked on accepting my feelings and not identifying them as “right” or “wrong,” and working through them always makes me stronger in the end, and less scared to face them again.

    I keep a gratitude journal myself, also filled with the little things, and somedays I am just glad that the day is over. What I’m so grateful for today, though, is this post and everyone’s comments. In my early 20’s, I was totally panicked a lot of the time, because I never knew what I was doing, didn’t want to admit that (since I thought everyone else knew EXACTLY what they were doing – like they got handed a rule book about being an adult that I missed out on), and was too afraid of looking stupid to ask the questions I had. Luckily, I got over this, and started admitting things to close friends and family when I had no clue what the answers were. And I found out that they didn’t either, and many of my friends had the same doubts, fears, and feelings. WHAT A RELIEF! And that’s what this is for me today, another relief, that shows me that when we admit that things aren’t always perfect, that sometimes we’re scared or that sometimes the “buck up” advice really DOESN’T make you feel better, other people identify with you and solutions can be found and sanity saved. For me, not feeling alone (because I’m also a natural isolator) makes all the difference.

    Really, really love this!
    Lindsay

  • I love this post too, and what struck me as I was reading the comments is that enacting an action plan when you’re facing failure IS an act of faith. Each of those actions says, “I know I can get through this and things will get better.” I don’t believe (and this is just my personal opinion), that faith is just about saying “I believe” and that’s the end of it. It’s taking the steps and doing the action that shows you have faith, especially in times you have no idea what you’re doing or why you’re doing it! I also identify with the idea of feeling your feelings – I’ve been guilty of “stuffing” my feelings many times and just not dealing with them, or, as you suggested, focusing so much on the fear of how bad they could be that I don’t try to find out that things aren’t as bad as I made my mind up that they were. But in the last few years, I’ve worked on accepting my feelings and not identifying them as “right” or “wrong,” and working through them always makes me stronger in the end, and less scared to face them again.

    I keep a gratitude journal myself, also filled with the little things, and somedays I am just glad that the day is over. What I’m so grateful for today, though, is this post and everyone’s comments. In my early 20’s, I was totally panicked a lot of the time, because I never knew what I was doing, didn’t want to admit that (since I thought everyone else knew EXACTLY what they were doing – like they got handed a rule book about being an adult that I missed out on), and was too afraid of looking stupid to ask the questions I had. Luckily, I got over this, and started admitting things to close friends and family when I had no clue what the answers were. And I found out that they didn’t either, and many of my friends had the same doubts, fears, and feelings. WHAT A RELIEF! And that’s what this is for me today, another relief, that shows me that when we admit that things aren’t always perfect, that sometimes we’re scared or that sometimes the “buck up” advice really DOESN’T make you feel better, other people identify with you and solutions can be found and sanity saved. For me, not feeling alone (because I’m also a natural isolator) makes all the difference.

    Really, really love this!
    Lindsay

  • admin

    Jen – Because I can count on you, I can do just about anything – including failing – admirably. Thank you for being there.
    Sarah

  • admin

    Jen – Because I can count on you, I can do just about anything – including failing – admirably. Thank you for being there.
    Sarah

  • admin

    Jen – Because I can count on you, I can do just about anything – including failing – admirably. Thank you for being there.
    Sarah

  • That’s nice to hear, Sarah and I’m glad that I could lend a hand of encouragement. πŸ™‚

    The wonderful thing here as well is that when you prevail over this rough spot, not only can you look back and see the support you had then, but your words and the comments it inspired will help others going through what you’re experiencing get through the bleak period as well.

    Thanks again, Sarah, for sharing your insights on how you’re overcoming this difficult part of life. Judging from how you’re facing it, I’m sure you’ll be pushing at full speed in no time. πŸ™‚

    Tanveer.

  • That’s nice to hear, Sarah and I’m glad that I could lend a hand of encouragement. πŸ™‚

    The wonderful thing here as well is that when you prevail over this rough spot, not only can you look back and see the support you had then, but your words and the comments it inspired will help others going through what you’re experiencing get through the bleak period as well.

    Thanks again, Sarah, for sharing your insights on how you’re overcoming this difficult part of life. Judging from how you’re facing it, I’m sure you’ll be pushing at full speed in no time. πŸ™‚

    Tanveer.

  • That’s nice to hear, Sarah and I’m glad that I could lend a hand of encouragement. πŸ™‚

    The wonderful thing here as well is that when you prevail over this rough spot, not only can you look back and see the support you had then, but your words and the comments it inspired will help others going through what you’re experiencing get through the bleak period as well.

    Thanks again, Sarah, for sharing your insights on how you’re overcoming this difficult part of life. Judging from how you’re facing it, I’m sure you’ll be pushing at full speed in no time. πŸ™‚

    Tanveer.

  • This is such a courageous and much appreciated post. When you are in the business of helping people succeed it is especially vulnerable to share your failures. In those moments I wrestle with my credibility – if I am failing how can I support someone else in their success? Yet just because we may have failed at something by no means equates to being a failure. When I am in the middle of failing I tend to forget that! It is in the reflection of people who know who I am when I forget that I find helps me the most to return to a place of confidence again. As much as I want to isolate myself I have learned that the less I want to reach out the more I need to – kind of like what you said about your practice of walking.

    I’ll add that it is on the other side of failure – once I have picked myself up and forged ahead once again that I am reminded that my failures are a source of my credibility – both because I was willing to risk failure, and because I did not let it stop me.

    I love the metaphor of the grid for getting grounded again and your suggestions are great. Thanks Sarah! Your willingness to talk about this subject really made a difference for me especially given you are someone I really respect and admire.

  • This is such a courageous and much appreciated post. When you are in the business of helping people succeed it is especially vulnerable to share your failures. In those moments I wrestle with my credibility – if I am failing how can I support someone else in their success? Yet just because we may have failed at something by no means equates to being a failure. When I am in the middle of failing I tend to forget that! It is in the reflection of people who know who I am when I forget that I find helps me the most to return to a place of confidence again. As much as I want to isolate myself I have learned that the less I want to reach out the more I need to – kind of like what you said about your practice of walking.

    I’ll add that it is on the other side of failure – once I have picked myself up and forged ahead once again that I am reminded that my failures are a source of my credibility – both because I was willing to risk failure, and because I did not let it stop me.

    I love the metaphor of the grid for getting grounded again and your suggestions are great. Thanks Sarah! Your willingness to talk about this subject really made a difference for me especially given you are someone I really respect and admire.

  • This is such a courageous and much appreciated post. When you are in the business of helping people succeed it is especially vulnerable to share your failures. In those moments I wrestle with my credibility – if I am failing how can I support someone else in their success? Yet just because we may have failed at something by no means equates to being a failure. When I am in the middle of failing I tend to forget that! It is in the reflection of people who know who I am when I forget that I find helps me the most to return to a place of confidence again. As much as I want to isolate myself I have learned that the less I want to reach out the more I need to – kind of like what you said about your practice of walking.

    I’ll add that it is on the other side of failure – once I have picked myself up and forged ahead once again that I am reminded that my failures are a source of my credibility – both because I was willing to risk failure, and because I did not let it stop me.

    I love the metaphor of the grid for getting grounded again and your suggestions are great. Thanks Sarah! Your willingness to talk about this subject really made a difference for me especially given you are someone I really respect and admire.

  • admin

    Jana- I love your reminder to get out of our own problem and our own head by helping someone else. I do remember to include that in my grid….eventually. And it really should be something at the top of the grid – rather than at the bottom. Remembering that I am not the only one struggling or hurting (and that in the grand scheme of things, my problems are actually quite small) has miraculous healing power.As does a kick-butt sense of humour. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

  • admin

    Jana- I love your reminder to get out of our own problem and our own head by helping someone else. I do remember to include that in my grid….eventually. And it really should be something at the top of the grid – rather than at the bottom. Remembering that I am not the only one struggling or hurting (and that in the grand scheme of things, my problems are actually quite small) has miraculous healing power.As does a kick-butt sense of humour. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

  • admin

    Jana- I love your reminder to get out of our own problem and our own head by helping someone else. I do remember to include that in my grid….eventually. And it really should be something at the top of the grid – rather than at the bottom. Remembering that I am not the only one struggling or hurting (and that in the grand scheme of things, my problems are actually quite small) has miraculous healing power.As does a kick-butt sense of humour. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

  • Thank you for putting into words what we all feel when we have fallen. You have inspired me to be more open with my blog postings. Thank you! Keep up the great work!

  • Thank you for putting into words what we all feel when we have fallen. You have inspired me to be more open with my blog postings. Thank you! Keep up the great work!

  • Thank you for putting into words what we all feel when we have fallen. You have inspired me to be more open with my blog postings. Thank you! Keep up the great work!

  • admin

    Leesa – I love “think big and thank small”. What an excellent addition to The Grid my friend. Thank you. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

  • admin

    Leesa – I love “think big and thank small”. What an excellent addition to The Grid my friend. Thank you. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

  • admin

    Leesa – I love “think big and thank small”. What an excellent addition to The Grid my friend. Thank you. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

  • admin

    Oh my goodness Lindsay! What an amazingly beautiful and transparent comment about your own journey. I think we all believe that somehow other people got the rule book and got a a “bye” on the experience of failing. So, we don’t talk about it and we isolate. Which is about the worst choice we can make. Thank you for being so willing to share you’re story so that others know that EVERYONE struggles with this at some point. You are courageous my friend. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

  • admin

    Oh my goodness Lindsay! What an amazingly beautiful and transparent comment about your own journey. I think we all believe that somehow other people got the rule book and got a a “bye” on the experience of failing. So, we don’t talk about it and we isolate. Which is about the worst choice we can make. Thank you for being so willing to share you’re story so that others know that EVERYONE struggles with this at some point. You are courageous my friend. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

  • admin

    Oh my goodness Lindsay! What an amazingly beautiful and transparent comment about your own journey. I think we all believe that somehow other people got the rule book and got a a “bye” on the experience of failing. So, we don’t talk about it and we isolate. Which is about the worst choice we can make. Thank you for being so willing to share you’re story so that others know that EVERYONE struggles with this at some point. You are courageous my friend. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

  • Matt b.

    I found this post via a retweet from @launchgum. I have to say, thank you for writing it. I’m not an entrepreneur per se, but many of your points can be applied to any scenario where someone keeps facing failure.

    That’s the funny thing about secondary education or business courses – I’d say the vast majority of them tell you how to succeed. What they don’t teach is how to deal with the sting of failure. Perhaps more realistic thinking needs to get into these areas, as opposed to positive thinking, perhaps? Just a thought.

    In any case, thanks again for the write-up – I’m just coming back from a failure of sorts, and am setting up a grid (I’ve never heard it put so, but I’m adopting it). Cheers,

    M

  • Matt b.

    I found this post via a retweet from @launchgum. I have to say, thank you for writing it. I’m not an entrepreneur per se, but many of your points can be applied to any scenario where someone keeps facing failure.

    That’s the funny thing about secondary education or business courses – I’d say the vast majority of them tell you how to succeed. What they don’t teach is how to deal with the sting of failure. Perhaps more realistic thinking needs to get into these areas, as opposed to positive thinking, perhaps? Just a thought.

    In any case, thanks again for the write-up – I’m just coming back from a failure of sorts, and am setting up a grid (I’ve never heard it put so, but I’m adopting it). Cheers,

    M

  • Matt b.

    I found this post via a retweet from @launchgum. I have to say, thank you for writing it. I’m not an entrepreneur per se, but many of your points can be applied to any scenario where someone keeps facing failure.

    That’s the funny thing about secondary education or business courses – I’d say the vast majority of them tell you how to succeed. What they don’t teach is how to deal with the sting of failure. Perhaps more realistic thinking needs to get into these areas, as opposed to positive thinking, perhaps? Just a thought.

    In any case, thanks again for the write-up – I’m just coming back from a failure of sorts, and am setting up a grid (I’ve never heard it put so, but I’m adopting it). Cheers,

    M

  • Sarah – I can’t tell you how refreshing this post is for me, personally. I’ve been going through the typicalliy shitstorms and failures one would expect when marching forward. On top of it all, I sometimes get a bug in my ear telling me “give up, loser. This is proof that you’re a failure…”. I used to walk in the morning, that would clear my head.

    Two things that have helped (and you can do them both at the same time πŸ˜‰ ) are:

    Find someone who is struggling and give them hope – encourage them.
    Call a friend and go on a bitch-rant cleanse.

  • Sarah – I can’t tell you how refreshing this post is for me, personally. I’ve been going through the typicalliy shitstorms and failures one would expect when marching forward. On top of it all, I sometimes get a bug in my ear telling me “give up, loser. This is proof that you’re a failure…”. I used to walk in the morning, that would clear my head.

    Two things that have helped (and you can do them both at the same time πŸ˜‰ ) are:

    Find someone who is struggling and give them hope – encourage them.
    Call a friend and go on a bitch-rant cleanse.

  • Sarah – I can’t tell you how refreshing this post is for me, personally. I’ve been going through the typicalliy shitstorms and failures one would expect when marching forward. On top of it all, I sometimes get a bug in my ear telling me “give up, loser. This is proof that you’re a failure…”. I used to walk in the morning, that would clear my head.

    Two things that have helped (and you can do them both at the same time πŸ˜‰ ) are:

    Find someone who is struggling and give them hope – encourage them.
    Call a friend and go on a bitch-rant cleanse.

  • admin

    Susan – as part of my escaping mediocrity journey I’ve decided that if people think less of me because I’m actually human, so be it. We ALL struggle, we ALL hurt, we ALL grapple in the dark. What’s the point of keeping all that a secret and keeping ourselves alone and isolated? The burden is lighter and a lot less lonely when we make it together, don’t you think?! I am thrilled that this post made a difference in your day. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

  • admin

    Susan – as part of my escaping mediocrity journey I’ve decided that if people think less of me because I’m actually human, so be it. We ALL struggle, we ALL hurt, we ALL grapple in the dark. What’s the point of keeping all that a secret and keeping ourselves alone and isolated? The burden is lighter and a lot less lonely when we make it together, don’t you think?! I am thrilled that this post made a difference in your day. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

  • admin

    Susan – as part of my escaping mediocrity journey I’ve decided that if people think less of me because I’m actually human, so be it. We ALL struggle, we ALL hurt, we ALL grapple in the dark. What’s the point of keeping all that a secret and keeping ourselves alone and isolated? The burden is lighter and a lot less lonely when we make it together, don’t you think?! I am thrilled that this post made a difference in your day. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

  • sarahrobinson

    Matt – I love @launchgum and am thrilled that you found your way here. And you are right – no one teaches us how to deal with the sting of failure – of any kind. And though I understand the power of positive thinking, I don't think you can postive think your broken leg to be unbroken, so how can your psotive think your broken heart to be unbroken? SO glad you like the idea of The Grid. :-)Sarah

  • sarahrobinson

    Matt – I love @launchgum and am thrilled that you found your way here. And you are right – no one teaches us how to deal with the sting of failure – of any kind. And though I understand the power of positive thinking, I don't think you can postive think your broken leg to be unbroken, so how can your psotive think your broken heart to be unbroken? SO glad you like the idea of The Grid. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

  • sarahrobinson

    Matt – I love @launchgum and am thrilled that you found your way here. And you are right – no one teaches us how to deal with the sting of failure – of any kind. And though I understand the power of positive thinking, I don't think you can postive think your broken leg to be unbroken, so how can your psotive think your broken heart to be unbroken? SO glad you like the idea of The Grid. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

  • Sarah,Thank you for sharing what most of us are to fearful to say. One of the things that makes you so unique and enjoyable to follow is your willingness to be you, to be authentic and to be real. Thank you!Shanna Hatfield

  • Sarah,
    Thank you for sharing what most of us are to fearful to say. One of the things that makes you so unique and enjoyable to follow is your willingness to be you, to be authentic and to be real. Thank you!
    Shanna Hatfield

  • sarahrobinson

    Wow. All that coming from YOU. πŸ™‚ I am thrilled that it hit at just the right time for you.I do wish my character would complete itself so that I wouldn't have to keep making it stronger. BUT, as long as I have friends like you walking the grid with me, I know I'll be ok. :-)Sarah

  • sarahrobinson

    Wow. All that coming from YOU. πŸ™‚ I am thrilled that it hit at just the right time for you.I do wish my character would complete itself so that I wouldn't have to keep making it stronger. BUT, as long as I have friends like you walking the grid with me, I know I'll be ok. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

  • What a wonderful article! Thanks for sharing so much of yourself as well as your practical wisdom. I love that you can write the brutal truth entwined with hope and confidence. Rituals I find nourishing when I'm in that place are 1. Making a smoothie for myself every day (helps with the surviving not on coffee alone ;), putting on some music and dancing it out, laying upside down on a physio ball and trying to make at least one person's life a tiny bit better in some way. Good luck!

  • What a wonderful article! Thanks for sharing so much of yourself as well as your practical wisdom. I love that you can write the brutal truth entwined with hope and confidence.

    Rituals I find nourishing when I'm in that place are 1. Making a smoothie for myself every day (helps with the surviving not on coffee alone ;), putting on some music and dancing it out, laying upside down on a physio ball and trying to make at least one person's life a tiny bit better in some way.

    Good luck!

  • Sarah, how honest and inspiring. Yes, everyone tells us how liberating and freeing and valuable mistakes and screw-ups and failures can be — and they are. But the real test is in admitting that they stink, big time. That they feel like cr*p. That they can seriously knock us down for the count. You are SO in touch with who you are and what you are and you SO know when it's time to just lay low and let it ride itself out. So…nap, read, write, walk, chill, cry — whatever it is, it's OK — even for us Type A-ers who always have that “I need to be doing 18 things at once” thing. I love you and support your awesomeness always — even when it doesn't feel awesome!Allison

  • Sarah, how honest and inspiring.

    Yes, everyone tells us how liberating and freeing and valuable mistakes and screw-ups and failures can be — and they are. But the real test is in admitting that they stink, big time. That they feel like cr*p. That they can seriously knock us down for the count.

    You are SO in touch with who you are and what you are and you SO know when it's time to just lay low and let it ride itself out. So…nap, read, write, walk, chill, cry — whatever it is, it's OK — even for us Type A-ers who always have that “I need to be doing 18 things at once” thing.

    I love you and support your awesomeness always — even when it doesn't feel awesome!

    Allison

  • sarahrobinson

    John – We are SO susceptible to those kinds of messages – especially when we stay isolated and don't share. As I often say – my mind is no place I really need to be going alone.AND – I am so stealing the Walk n' Bitch for my Grid. :-)Sarah

  • sarahrobinson

    John – We are SO susceptible to those kinds of messages – especially when we stay isolated and don't share. As I often say – my mind is no place I really need to be going alone.

    AND – I am so stealing the Walk n' Bitch for my Grid. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

  • melaniebensonstrick

    Sarah, great post. I recently shared in my Facebook notes my recent “traumas” of feeling like the rug was being pulled out from under neath me. A few things I do in addition to your list when I'm in this space are:* I meditiate daily. I ususally do this anyway but find that days can slip away before I remember. Daily meditation helps me feel connected.* I end my day with writing what I am grateful for (focusing on what is working, even it is feels really, really small.)* Talk to my peers. It's amazing how many of us go through similiar issues and don't even realize it until someone speaks up.Thanks for sharing your process…I especially love the napping. I've done a lot of it over the last 6 months and boy does it help! =-)Warmly, Melanie

  • sarahrobinson

    Shanna – thank you. I've decided lately, that being any other way requires more of my time and my energy than I care to give. And I am thrilled that what I offer resonates with you. πŸ™‚

  • melaniebensonstrick

    Sarah, great post. I recently shared in my Facebook notes my recent “traumas” of feeling like the rug was being pulled out from under neath me. A few things I do in addition to your list when I'm in this space are:

    * I meditiate daily. I ususally do this anyway but find that days can slip away before I remember. Daily meditation helps me feel connected.
    * I end my day with writing what I am grateful for (focusing on what is working, even it is feels really, really small.)
    * Talk to my peers. It's amazing how many of us go through similiar issues and don't even realize it until someone speaks up.

    Thanks for sharing your process…I especially love the napping. I've done a lot of it over the last 6 months and boy does it help! =-)

    Warmly, Melanie

  • melaniebensonstrick

    Sarah, great post. I recently shared in my Facebook notes my recent “traumas” of feeling like the rug was being pulled out from under neath me. A few things I do in addition to your list when I'm in this space are:

    * I meditiate daily. I ususally do this anyway but find that days can slip away before I remember. Daily meditation helps me feel connected.
    * I end my day with writing what I am grateful for (focusing on what is working, even it is feels really, really small.)
    * Talk to my peers. It's amazing how many of us go through similiar issues and don't even realize it until someone speaks up.

    Thanks for sharing your process…I especially love the napping. I've done a lot of it over the last 6 months and boy does it help! =-)

    Warmly, Melanie

    • sarahrobinson

      Melanie – Isn't it awesome to discover that we are not alone in our struggles?! I think that makes getting through to the other side so much easier than trying to go it alone. And I do love your additions to The Grid. The are actually things I do too….now why didn't I list them I wonder….LOL! SO glad to see your happy face here. πŸ™‚
      Sarah

  • sarahrobinson

    Shanna – thank you. I've decided lately, that being any other way requires more of my time and my energy than I care to give. And I am thrilled that what I offer resonates with you. πŸ™‚

  • sarahrobinson

    Jemila – I am so thrilled that this post resonated with you (I am also encouraged that it sounds like I have hope and confidence!). The rituals that are a part of you grid are awesome. Well, excpet for the hanging upside down on a physio ball – I think I might pass out. πŸ™‚ SO glad you are here!Sarah

  • sarahrobinson

    Jemila – I am so thrilled that this post resonated with you (I am also encouraged that it sounds like I have hope and confidence!). The rituals that are a part of you grid are awesome. Well, excpet for the hanging upside down on a physio ball – I think I might pass out. πŸ™‚ SO glad you are here!
    Sarah

  • sarahrobinson

    Alison – the reason I can chill and do what I have to when I walk The Grid is because I am walking it with people who so totally get me and who I love – people like you. :-)Sarah

  • sarahrobinson

    Alison – the reason I can chill and do what I have to when I walk The Grid is because I am walking it with people who so totally get me and who I love – people like you. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

    • All I got is: “Stay Off the Grid” or you'll get caught.

      I appreciate the gratitude mentions in other comments.

      My block: when to admit failure.

  • sarahrobinson

    Melanie – Isn't it awesome to discover that we are not alone in our struggles?! I think that makes getting through to the other side so much easier than trying to go it alone. And I do love your additions to The Grid. The are actually things I do too….now why didn't I list them I wonder….LOL! SO glad to see your happy face here. :-)Sarah

  • sarahrobinson

    Melanie – Isn't it awesome to discover that we are not alone in our struggles?! I think that makes getting through to the other side so much easier than trying to go it alone. And I do love your additions to The Grid. The are actually things I do too….now why didn't I list them I wonder….LOL! SO glad to see your happy face here. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

    • asiriusgeek

      Sarah, let me add my thanks for a wonderful post to the many voices above. Since you're an Anne Lamott fan, you probably know this quote. I think it supports your napping point: β€œWhen you rest, you catch your breath, and it fills your lungs and holds you up, like water wings, like my father in the deep end of the rec center pool.” I hope the support you've seen expressed here likewise acts as water wings, along with realizing that you are certainly not alone with what you're going through.

      I hadn't heard of the grid concept before, but I'm definitely adding this to my arsenal. I'm sure I'll be needing it!

      I can so relate to Lindsay's point about feeling like the only one that didn't get the rule book, and I loved your quote here “As I often say – my mind is no place I really need to be going alone.” That's a classic!

      Thanks and best wishes.

  • All I got is: “Stay Off the Grid” or you'll get caught. I appreciate the gratitude mentions in other comments. My block: when to admit failure.

  • All I got is: “Stay Off the Grid” or you'll get caught.

    I appreciate the gratitude mentions in other comments.

    My block: when to admit failure.

  • Sarah, Thank you so much. It never fails to amaze me how someone like you shares something that I NEED to hear at just the right time. It is easy to share the good stuff…. isn’t it? Not always so with our struggles. BUT, it is struggle that creates our character. I love your concept of “walkiing the grid” It is a great way to re-center so we can once again, reach beyond ourselves and create an even stronger character. Thank you Sarah! I am looking forward to walking it alone, with you, and with others.

  • Sarah, Thank you so much. It never fails to amaze me how someone like you shares something that I NEED to hear at just the right time. It is easy to share the good stuff…. isn’t it? Not always so with our struggles. BUT, it is struggle that creates our character. I love your concept of “walkiing the grid” It is a great way to re-center so we can once again, reach beyond ourselves and create an even stronger character. Thank you Sarah! I am looking forward to walking it alone, with you, and with others.

  • Sarah, Thank you so much. It never fails to amaze me how someone like you shares something that I NEED to hear at just the right time. It is easy to share the good stuff…. isn’t it? Not always so with our struggles. BUT, it is struggle that creates our character. I love your concept of “walkiing the grid” It is a great way to re-center so we can once again, reach beyond ourselves and create an even stronger character. Thank you Sarah! I am looking forward to walking it alone, with you, and with others.

  • Sarah,
    Thank you for sharing what most of us are to fearful to say. One of the things that makes you so unique and enjoyable to follow is your willingness to be you, to be authentic and to be real. Thank you!
    Shanna Hatfield

    • Anonymous

      Shanna – thank you. I’ve decided lately, that being any other way requires more of my time and my energy than I care to give. And I am thrilled that what I offer resonates with you. πŸ™‚

  • What a wonderful article! Thanks for sharing so much of yourself as well as your practical wisdom. I love that you can write the brutal truth entwined with hope and confidence.

    Rituals I find nourishing when I’m in that place are 1. Making a smoothie for myself every day (helps with the surviving not on coffee alone ;), putting on some music and dancing it out, laying upside down on a physio ball and trying to make at least one person’s life a tiny bit better in some way.

    Good luck!

    • Anonymous

      Jemila – I am so thrilled that this post resonated with you (I am also encouraged that it sounds like I have hope and confidence!). The rituals that are a part of you grid are awesome. Well, excpet for the hanging upside down on a physio ball – I think I might pass out. πŸ™‚ SO glad you are here!
      Sarah

  • Sarah, how honest and inspiring.

    Yes, everyone tells us how liberating and freeing and valuable mistakes and screw-ups and failures can be — and they are. But the real test is in admitting that they stink, big time. That they feel like cr*p. That they can seriously knock us down for the count.

    You are SO in touch with who you are and what you are and you SO know when it’s time to just lay low and let it ride itself out. So…nap, read, write, walk, chill, cry — whatever it is, it’s OK — even for us Type A-ers who always have that “I need to be doing 18 things at once” thing.

    I love you and support your awesomeness always — even when it doesn’t feel awesome!

    Allison

    • Anonymous

      Alison – the reason I can chill and do what I have to when I walk The Grid is because I am walking it with people who so totally get me and who I love – people like you. πŸ™‚
      Sarah

  • Anonymous

    Sarah, great post. I recently shared in my Facebook notes my recent “traumas” of feeling like the rug was being pulled out from under neath me. A few things I do in addition to your list when I’m in this space are:

    * I meditiate daily. I ususally do this anyway but find that days can slip away before I remember. Daily meditation helps me feel connected.
    * I end my day with writing what I am grateful for (focusing on what is working, even it is feels really, really small.)
    * Talk to my peers. It’s amazing how many of us go through similiar issues and don’t even realize it until someone speaks up.

    Thanks for sharing your process…I especially love the napping. I’ve done a lot of it over the last 6 months and boy does it help! =-)

    Warmly, Melanie

    • Anonymous

      Melanie – Isn’t it awesome to discover that we are not alone in our struggles?! I think that makes getting through to the other side so much easier than trying to go it alone. And I do love your additions to The Grid. The are actually things I do too….now why didn’t I list them I wonder….LOL! SO glad to see your happy face here. πŸ™‚
      Sarah

  • All I got is: “Stay Off the Grid” or you’ll get caught.

    I appreciate the gratitude mentions in other comments.

    My block: when to admit failure.

    • Anonymous

      Justin – I agree about the gratitude part (but not about The Grid – it anchors me!). When I re-work my Grid, Gratitude will be on it! And I think everyone has trouble knowing when to admit failure, so you are not alone in that either. Glad you stopped by. πŸ™‚
      Sarah

      • Yes. Your grid is a good one to stay on (not only in overcoming a setback, but also as a daily routine). It seems in cop movies the good guys who are mistaken as criminals (Can we call them Mavericks?) are always talk about “staying off the grid”. And that’s why that phrase came to my mind. But it’s a different context here. I guess what I meant by “stay off the grid” though is—-if the grid is an anchor to get you back on track after a failure—it’s still a good idea to get off track as little as possible.

  • asiriusgeek

    Sarah, let me add my thanks for a wonderful post to the many voices above. Since you're an Anne Lamott fan, you probably know this quote. I think it supports your napping point: β€œWhen you rest, you catch your breath, and it fills your lungs and holds you up, like water wings, like my father in the deep end of the rec center pool.” I hope the support you've seen expressed here likewise acts as water wings, along with realizing that you are certainly not alone with what you're going through.I hadn't heard of the grid concept before, but I'm definitely adding this to my arsenal. I'm sure I'll be needing it!I can so relate to Lindsay's point about feeling like the only one that didn't get the rule book, and I loved your quote here “As I often say – my mind is no place I really need to be going alone.” That's a classic!Thanks and best wishes.

  • asiriusgeek

    Sarah, let me add my thanks for a wonderful post to the many voices above. Since you're an Anne Lamott fan, you probably know this quote. I think it supports your napping point: β€œWhen you rest, you catch your breath, and it fills your lungs and holds you up, like water wings, like my father in the deep end of the rec center pool.” I hope the support you've seen expressed here likewise acts as water wings, along with realizing that you are certainly not alone with what you're going through.

    I hadn't heard of the grid concept before, but I'm definitely adding this to my arsenal. I'm sure I'll be needing it!

    I can so relate to Lindsay's point about feeling like the only one that didn't get the rule book, and I loved your quote here “As I often say – my mind is no place I really need to be going alone.” That's a classic!

    Thanks and best wishes.

  • Wow, really nice post! It help me to figure out a lot of things you know… now, after reading this article, I feel much better about myself.Thanks for sharing your experiences. PS:It's the first time I've been to this blog. I really liked it.

  • Wow, really nice post! It help me to figure out a lot of things you know… now, after reading this article, I feel much better about myself.Thanks for sharing your experiences.
    PS:It's the first time I've been to this blog. I really liked it.

    • sarahrobinson

      You are so welcome Mimi. And as you – and the other brilliant people here have so beautifully reminded me, gratitude is a critical part of ANY grid (as important as naps!). And yes – we have much to say “thank you” for. So glad you liked the post. πŸ™‚

  • amybryant

    Sarah and Susan, both of your writings speak truth to my soul tonight. It is difficult to be vulnerable when you're in the business of helping others in whatever capacity, and I agree with you Susan. Our failures ARE a source of our credibility. I want to be guided by someone who knows what it's like to be in my shoes. And I know few who haven't encountered difficulty on the way to their dreams. Wisdom sometimes comes from deep, dark places. Those of us who have been through those places can offer a compassion unparalleled. And that is truly a gift to the world. Love to you both. Amy

  • amybryant

    Sarah and Susan, both of your writings speak truth to my soul tonight. It is difficult to be vulnerable when you're in the business of helping others in whatever capacity, and I agree with you Susan. Our failures ARE a source of our credibility. I want to be guided by someone who knows what it's like to be in my shoes. And I know few who haven't encountered difficulty on the way to their dreams. Wisdom sometimes comes from deep, dark places. Those of us who have been through those places can offer a compassion unparalleled. And that is truly a gift to the world. Love to you both.

    Amy

  • amybryant

    Sarah and Susan, both of your writings speak truth to my soul tonight. It is difficult to be vulnerable when you're in the business of helping others in whatever capacity, and I agree with you Susan. Our failures ARE a source of our credibility. I want to be guided by someone who knows what it's like to be in my shoes. And I know few who haven't encountered difficulty on the way to their dreams. Wisdom sometimes comes from deep, dark places. Those of us who have been through those places can offer a compassion unparalleled. And that is truly a gift to the world. Love to you both.

    Amy

  • What people need to understand about failing is that sometimes it just sucks and there is nothing to learn. It is part of the business life cycle- success and failure. As I say in my book, Bounce! in order to get business confidence we need to celebrate our success, learn if anything from failure but then let go- Bounce! so we get another chance of success.

  • sarahrobinson

    Justin – I agree about the gratitude part (but not about The Grid – it anchors me!). When I re-work my Grid, Gratitude will be on it! And I think everyone has trouble knowing when to admit failure, so you are not alone in that either. Glad you stopped by. :-)Sarah

  • What people need to understand about failing is that sometimes it just sucks and there is nothing to learn. It is part of the business life cycle- success and failure. As I say in my book, Bounce! in order to get business confidence we need to celebrate our success, learn if anything from failure but then let go- Bounce! so we get another chance of success.

  • What people need to understand about failing is that sometimes it just sucks and there is nothing to learn. It is part of the business life cycle- success and failure. As I say in my book, Bounce! in order to get business confidence we need to celebrate our success, learn if anything from failure but then let go- Bounce! so we get another chance of success.

    • ShellyKramer

      Sarah, this is fantastic. Failing does suck. But the thing to remember is that only those of us who try things ever experience failure. Many people choose to go through life never trying, never trusting, never risking, never taking a chance. Thus, they never, ever fail. Or do they? For me, in spite of my many failures, I can truthfully say that I'll never stop trying – even at the risk of failing yet again. And methinks you are the same way, my friend.

      Love The Grid. The only thing I'd add is to remind self to keep the faith.

      Smooches to you,

      Shelly

  • sarahrobinson

    Justin – I agree about the gratitude part (but not about The Grid – it anchors me!). When I re-work my Grid, Gratitude will be on it! And I think everyone has trouble knowing when to admit failure, so you are not alone in that either. Glad you stopped by. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

  • sarahrobinson

    Justin – I agree about the gratitude part (but not about The Grid – it anchors me!). When I re-work my Grid, Gratitude will be on it! And I think everyone has trouble knowing when to admit failure, so you are not alone in that either. Glad you stopped by. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

  • sarahrobinson

    I love this Anne Lamott quote too. Actually, every word she writes is quotable don't you think? And yes, the support here has been amazing – and lessens the weight of my heart considerably. I actually said that thing about my brain again to someone tonight. I say it all the time because it is true! Thank you for being here. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

  • sarahrobinson

    I love this Anne Lamott quote too. Actually, every word she writes is quotable don't you think? And yes, the support here has been amazing – and lessens the weight of my heart considerably. I actually said that thing about my brain again to someone tonight. I say it all the time because it is true! Thank you for being here. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

    • sarahrobinson

      Ellen – I am so glad you stumbled upon this blog at precisely the right moment. As you can see by reading the comments above, you are not alone. And to me, that makes walking the grid so much better – I have companions for the journey. And so do you. Plot out your Grid and walk it every day. And check in here from time to time, too, okay?!

  • sarahrobinson

    I love this Anne Lamott quote too. Actually, every word she writes is quotable don't you think? And yes, the support here has been amazing – and lessens the weight of my heart considerably. I actually said that thing about my brain again to someone tonight. I say it all the time because it is true! Thank you for being here. :-)Sarah

  • sarahrobinson

    Amy – your comment is so beautiful and eloquent. I agree – I know of no one – at least no one that I like and respect – who hasn't been to those deep dark places and come back much much wiser and more compassionate. Sarah

  • sarahrobinson

    Amy – your comment is so beautiful and eloquent. I agree – I know of no one – at least no one that I like and respect – who hasn't been to those deep dark places and come back much much wiser and more compassionate.
    Sarah

  • sarahrobinson

    Amy – your comment is so beautiful and eloquent. I agree – I know of no one – at least no one that I like and respect – who hasn't been to those deep dark places and come back much much wiser and more compassionate.
    Sarah

    • sarahrobinson

      Alison – the reason I can chill and do what I have to when I walk The Grid is because I am walking it with people who so totally get me and who I love – people like you. πŸ™‚
      Sarah

  • asiriusgeek

    Sarah, let me add my thanks for a wonderful post to the many voices above. Since you’re an Anne Lamott fan, you probably know this quote. I think it supports your napping point: β€œWhen you rest, you catch your breath, and it fills your lungs and holds you up, like water wings, like my father in the deep end of the rec center pool.” I hope the support you’ve seen expressed here likewise acts as water wings, along with realizing that you are certainly not alone with what you’re going through.

    I hadn’t heard of the grid concept before, but I’m definitely adding this to my arsenal. I’m sure I’ll be needing it!

    I can so relate to Lindsay’s point about feeling like the only one that didn’t get the rule book, and I loved your quote here “As I often say – my mind is no place I really need to be going alone.” That’s a classic!

    Thanks and best wishes.

    • Anonymous

      I love this Anne Lamott quote too. Actually, every word she writes is quotable don’t you think? And yes, the support here has been amazing – and lessens the weight of my heart considerably. I actually said that thing about my brain again to someone tonight. I say it all the time because it is true! Thank you for being here. πŸ™‚
      Sarah

  • You GO girl. Lord, its so unbelievably refreshing to hear this degree of ‘GDI!’ honesty and wisdom about the experience of failure – especially ‘the big one’.

    Its so easy to feel like a failure & a freak with all the whackadoodle ‘be happy’ horse patties flying around calling itself coaching.

    That you have the wherewithall to suss out, live true to and articulate such a stunningly smart n effective help-yourself strategy is a mind-blowing – and STRONG.

    When I was clawing n slogging my way through the darkest period of my life 15 years ago, putting one foot in front of the other was about all I could do, never mind be this coherent. I instinctively/intuitively found my way to 3 things that pulled me up as I pushed myself out, all of which have been mentioned here: gratitude journaling, progress tracking (Anne Nelson called it triumph journaling – nice) and sharing my experience with others. Isolation is deadly, but the urge to burrow so deep into a foxhole even the fox won’t find you is primal – and in some ways wise. But without fresh air and fresh energy…

    And on those days its particularly hard, please know I’m cheering for you.

    P.S. if you’re an O Mag fan, check this month’s issue out. Its all about power. One piece is entitled, ‘You’re stronger than you think you are.’ Timing, she is funny, no?

  • You GO girl. Lord, its so unbelievably refreshing to hear this degree of ‘GDI!’ honesty and wisdom about the experience of failure – especially ‘the big one’.

    Its so easy to feel like a failure & a freak with all the whackadoodle ‘be happy’ horse patties flying around calling itself coaching.

    That you have the wherewithall to suss out, live true to and articulate such a stunningly smart n effective help-yourself strategy is a mind-blowing – and STRONG.

    When I was clawing n slogging my way through the darkest period of my life 15 years ago, putting one foot in front of the other was about all I could do, never mind be this coherent. I instinctively/intuitively found my way to 3 things that pulled me up as I pushed myself out, all of which have been mentioned here: gratitude journaling, progress tracking (Anne Nelson called it triumph journaling – nice) and sharing my experience with others. Isolation is deadly, but the urge to burrow so deep into a foxhole even the fox won’t find you is primal – and in some ways wise. But without fresh air and fresh energy…

    And on those days its particularly hard, please know I’m cheering for you.

    P.S. if you’re an O Mag fan, check this month’s issue out. Its all about power. One piece is entitled, ‘You’re stronger than you think you are.’ Timing, she is funny, no?

  • You GO girl. Lord, its so unbelievably refreshing to hear this degree of ‘GDI!’ honesty and wisdom about the experience of failure – especially ‘the big one’.

    Its so easy to feel like a failure & a freak with all the whackadoodle ‘be happy’ horse patties flying around calling itself coaching.

    That you have the wherewithall to suss out, live true to and articulate such a stunningly smart n effective help-yourself strategy is a mind-blowing – and STRONG.

    When I was clawing n slogging my way through the darkest period of my life 15 years ago, putting one foot in front of the other was about all I could do, never mind be this coherent. I instinctively/intuitively found my way to 3 things that pulled me up as I pushed myself out, all of which have been mentioned here: gratitude journaling, progress tracking (Anne Nelson called it triumph journaling – nice) and sharing my experience with others. Isolation is deadly, but the urge to burrow so deep into a foxhole even the fox won’t find you is primal – and in some ways wise. But without fresh air and fresh energy…

    And on those days its particularly hard, please know I’m cheering for you.

    P.S. if you’re an O Mag fan, check this month’s issue out. Its all about power. One piece is entitled, ‘You’re stronger than you think you are.’ Timing, she is funny, no?

    • Wow, really nice post! It help me to figure out a lot of things you know… now, after reading this article, I feel much better about myself.Thanks for sharing your experiences.
      PS:It's the first time I've been to this blog. I really liked it.

  • Wow, really nice post! It help me to figure out a lot of things you know… now, after reading this article, I feel much better about myself.Thanks for sharing your experiences.
    PS:It’s the first time I’ve been to this blog. I really liked it.

  • What people need to understand about failing is that sometimes it just sucks and there is nothing to learn. It is part of the business life cycle- success and failure. As I say in my book, Bounce! in order to get business confidence we need to celebrate our success, learn if anything from failure but then let go- Bounce! so we get another chance of success.

  • sarahrobinson

    Lissa- for some reason your comment JUST showed up!! Thank you for your kind words about the strength of my post. Why everyone thinks processing failure is such a big secret that needs to be hidden is beyond me!And yes – a combination of burrowing with regular exposre to fresh air is about the best combination I've been able to come up with – healing requires both.Makes feel better just knowing you are cheering for me. :-)Sarah

  • sarahrobinson

    Lissa- for some reason your comment JUST showed up!! Thank you for your kind words about the strength of my post. Why everyone thinks processing failure is such a big secret that needs to be hidden is beyond me!

    And yes – a combination of burrowing with regular exposre to fresh air is about the best combination I've been able to come up with – healing requires both.

    Makes feel better just knowing you are cheering for me. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

  • sarahrobinson

    Lissa- for some reason your comment JUST showed up!! Thank you for your kind words about the strength of my post. Why everyone thinks processing failure is such a big secret that needs to be hidden is beyond me!

    And yes – a combination of burrowing with regular exposre to fresh air is about the best combination I've been able to come up with – healing requires both.

    Makes feel better just knowing you are cheering for me. πŸ™‚
    Sarah

    • What great advice! I agree wholeheartedly and love that naps are included. Failing is still the best way to learn. And it does suck. But it doesn't kill us. For some around the world, failure often results in death…failure to get to the water truck or the week's rice allocation; failure to head the warning to leave the village; failure to keep quiet…we have much to be thankful for when we live in countries that are developed to protect us as we try and fail, try again and fail again. And I'm grateful that a community of friends and blogging strangers offers companionship and wisdom as I pick myself up and get back on the grid.

      Thanks for this!

  • Yes. Your grid is a good one to stay on (not only in overcoming a setback, but also as a daily routine). It seems in cop movies the good guys who are mistaken as criminals (Can we call them Mavericks?) are always talk about “staying off the grid”. And that's why that phrase came to my mind. But it's a different context here. I guess what I meant by “stay off the grid” though is—-if the grid is an anchor to get you back on track after a failure—it's still a good idea to get off track as little as possible.

  • Yes. Your grid is a good one to stay on (not only in overcoming a setback, but also as a daily routine). It seems in cop movies the good guys who are mistaken as criminals (Can we call them Mavericks?) are always talk about “staying off the grid”. And that's why that phrase came to my mind. But it's a different context here. I guess what I meant by “stay off the grid” though is—-if the grid is an anchor to get you back on track after a failure—it's still a good idea to get off track as little as possible.

  • Yes. Your grid is a good one to stay on (not only in overcoming a setback, but also as a daily routine). It seems in cop movies the good guys who are mistaken as criminals (Can we call them Mavericks?) are always talk about “staying off the grid”. And that's why that phrase came to my mind. But it's a different context here. I guess what I meant by “stay off the grid” though is—-if the grid is an anchor to get you back on track after a failure—it's still a good idea to get off track as little as possible.

  • ellenrossano

    Timing is everything, and in the realm of failing, I just failed spectacularly! My retail store went out of business after 5 years, pretty much lost all of our family's savings, and am dealing with all of the debris of business and personal creditors. The store has been closed for 8 weeks, and although I have begun a new venture, your advice and experience could not have some at a better time…I think I'm just beginning to feel the post-traumatic failure syndrome! The Grid is a great guide – I am being very hard on myself, and I just realized I am letting my family be pretty hard on me too. I will look forward to following your progress, and to not expecting this to be over instantly. Thanks!

  • ellenrossano

    Timing is everything, and in the realm of failing, I just failed spectacularly! My retail store went out of business after 5 years, pretty much lost all of our family's savings, and am dealing with all of the debris of business and personal creditors. The store has been closed for 8 weeks, and although I have begun a new venture, your advice and experience could not have some at a better time…I think I'm just beginning to feel the post-traumatic failure syndrome! The Grid is a great guide – I am being very hard on myself, and I just realized I am letting my family be pretty hard on me too. I will look forward to following your progress, and to not expecting this to be over instantly. Thanks!

  • ellenrossano

    Timing is everything, and in the realm of failing, I just failed spectacularly! My retail store went out of business after 5 years, pretty much lost all of our family's savings, and am dealing with all of the debris of business and personal creditors. The store has been closed for 8 weeks, and although I have begun a new venture, your advice and experience could not have some at a better time…I think I'm just beginning to feel the post-traumatic failure syndrome! The Grid is a great guide – I am being very hard on myself, and I just realized I am letting my family be pretty hard on me too. I will look forward to following your progress, and to not expecting this to be over instantly. Thanks!

    • Excellent advise. Failing makes one hesitate to try something again. One must take a little time to heal, regroup and grow through the experience.
      Be healthy, be well, be vigilant.. and yes, take naps to re-invigorate and calm the mind.!!

  • Anonymous

    Timing is everything, and in the realm of failing, I just failed spectacularly! My retail store went out of business after 5 years, pretty much lost all of our family’s savings, and am dealing with all of the debris of business and personal creditors. The store has been closed for 8 weeks, and although I have begun a new venture, your advice and experience could not have some at a better time…I think I’m just beginning to feel the post-traumatic failure syndrome! The Grid is a great guide – I am being very hard on myself, and I just realized I am letting my family be pretty hard on me too. I will look forward to following your progress, and to not expecting this to be over instantly. Thanks!

    • Anonymous

      Ellen – I am so glad you stumbled upon this blog at precisely the right moment. As you can see by reading the comments above, you are not alone. And to me, that makes walking the grid so much better – I have companions for the journey. And so do you. Plot out your Grid and walk it every day. And check in here from time to time, too, okay?!

  • sarahrobinson

    Ellen – I am so glad you stumbled upon this blog at precisely the right moment. As you can see by reading the comments above, you are not alone. And to me, that makes walking the grid so much better – I have companions for the journey. And so do you. Plot out your Grid and walk it every day. And check in here from time to time, too, okay?!

  • sarahrobinson

    Ellen – I am so glad you stumbled upon this blog at precisely the right moment. As you can see by reading the comments above, you are not alone. And to me, that makes walking the grid so much better – I have companions for the journey. And so do you. Plot out your Grid and walk it every day. And check in here from time to time, too, okay?!

  • What great advice! I agree wholeheartedly and love that naps are included. Failing is still the best way to learn. And it does suck. But it doesn't kill us. For some around the world, failure often results in death…failure to get to the water truck or the week's rice allocation; failure to head the warning to leave the village; failure to keep quiet…we have much to be thankful for when we live in countries that are developed to protect us as we try and fail, try again and fail again. And I'm grateful that a community of friends and blogging strangers offers companionship and wisdom as I pick myself up and get back on the grid.Thanks for this!

  • What great advice! I agree wholeheartedly and love that naps are included. Failing is still the best way to learn. And it does suck. But it doesn't kill us. For some around the world, failure often results in death…failure to get to the water truck or the week's rice allocation; failure to head the warning to leave the village; failure to keep quiet…we have much to be thankful for when we live in countries that are developed to protect us as we try and fail, try again and fail again. And I'm grateful that a community of friends and blogging strangers offers companionship and wisdom as I pick myself up and get back on the grid.

    Thanks for this!

    • sarahrobinson

      John – We are SO susceptible to those kinds of messages – especially when we stay isolated and don't share. As I often say – my mind is no place I really need to be going alone.

      AND – I am so stealing the Walk n' Bitch for my Grid. πŸ™‚
      Sarah

  • What great advice! I agree wholeheartedly and love that naps are included. Failing is still the best way to learn. And it does suck. But it doesn’t kill us. For some around the world, failure often results in death…failure to get to the water truck or the week’s rice allocation; failure to head the warning to leave the village; failure to keep quiet…we have much to be thankful for when we live in countries that are developed to protect us as we try and fail, try again and fail again. And I’m grateful that a community of friends and blogging strangers offers companionship and wisdom as I pick myself up and get back on the grid.

    Thanks for this!

    • Anonymous

      You are so welcome Mimi. And as you – and the other brilliant people here have so beautifully reminded me, gratitude is a critical part of ANY grid (as important as naps!). And yes – we have much to say “thank you” for. So glad you liked the post. πŸ™‚

  • sarahrobinson

    You are so welcome Mimi. And as you – and the other brilliant people here have so beautifully reminded me, gratitude is a critical part of ANY grid (as important as naps!). And yes – we have much to say “thank you” for. So glad you liked the post. πŸ™‚

  • sarahrobinson

    You are so welcome Mimi. And as you – and the other brilliant people here have so beautifully reminded me, gratitude is a critical part of ANY grid (as important as naps!). And yes – we have much to say “thank you” for. So glad you liked the post. πŸ™‚

    • sarahrobinson

      Wow. All that coming from YOU. πŸ™‚ I am thrilled that it hit at just the right time for you.I do wish my character would complete itself so that I wouldn't have to keep making it stronger. BUT, as long as I have friends like you walking the grid with me, I know I'll be ok. πŸ™‚
      Sarah

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    • Sarah,
      Thank you for sharing what most of us are to fearful to say. One of the things that makes you so unique and enjoyable to follow is your willingness to be you, to be authentic and to be real. Thank you!
      Shanna Hatfield

  • Sarah…thank you for sharing your thoughts on failure because it truly is a reality we face as entrepreneurs. My favorite Walking the Grid technique is taking a holiday with my husband and daughter because it helps me gain perspective on why we as entrepreneurs do what we do!

    Your post reminded me of a favorite quote from Sir Winston Churchill: “Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.” Nowhere does it state that any failure will be your last, but that your ability to move forward despite your failures is what will lead to success!

  • Sarah…thank you for sharing your thoughts on failure because it truly is a reality we face as entrepreneurs. My favorite Walking the Grid technique is taking a holiday with my husband and daughter because it helps me gain perspective on why we as entrepreneurs do what we do!

    Your post reminded me of a favorite quote from Sir Winston Churchill: “Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.” Nowhere does it state that any failure will be your last, but that your ability to move forward despite your failures is what will lead to success!

    • sarahrobinson

      Shanna – thank you. I've decided lately, that being any other way requires more of my time and my energy than I care to give. And I am thrilled that what I offer resonates with you. πŸ™‚

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    • What a wonderful article! Thanks for sharing so much of yourself as well as your practical wisdom. I love that you can write the brutal truth entwined with hope and confidence.

      Rituals I find nourishing when I'm in that place are 1. Making a smoothie for myself every day (helps with the surviving not on coffee alone ;), putting on some music and dancing it out, laying upside down on a physio ball and trying to make at least one person's life a tiny bit better in some way.

      Good luck!

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    • sarahrobinson

      Jemila – I am so thrilled that this post resonated with you (I am also encouraged that it sounds like I have hope and confidence!). The rituals that are a part of you grid are awesome. Well, excpet for the hanging upside down on a physio ball – I think I might pass out. πŸ™‚ SO glad you are here!
      Sarah

  • ShellyKramer

    Sarah, this is fantastic. Failing does suck. But the thing to remember is that only those of us who try things ever experience failure. Many people choose to go through life never trying, never trusting, never risking, never taking a chance. Thus, they never, ever fail. Or do they? For me, in spite of my many failures, I can truthfully say that I'll never stop trying – even at the risk of failing yet again. And methinks you are the same way, my friend.Love The Grid. The only thing I'd add is to remind self to keep the faith.Smooches to you,Shelly

  • ShellyKramer

    Sarah, this is fantastic. Failing does suck. But the thing to remember is that only those of us who try things ever experience failure. Many people choose to go through life never trying, never trusting, never risking, never taking a chance. Thus, they never, ever fail. Or do they? For me, in spite of my many failures, I can truthfully say that I'll never stop trying – even at the risk of failing yet again. And methinks you are the same way, my friend.

    Love The Grid. The only thing I'd add is to remind self to keep the faith.

    Smooches to you,

    Shelly

    • Sarah, how honest and inspiring.

      Yes, everyone tells us how liberating and freeing and valuable mistakes and screw-ups and failures can be — and they are. But the real test is in admitting that they stink, big time. That they feel like cr*p. That they can seriously knock us down for the count.

      You are SO in touch with who you are and what you are and you SO know when it's time to just lay low and let it ride itself out. So…nap, read, write, walk, chill, cry — whatever it is, it's OK — even for us Type A-ers who always have that “I need to be doing 18 things at once” thing.

      I love you and support your awesomeness always — even when it doesn't feel awesome!

      Allison

  • Anonymous

    Sarah, this is fantastic. Failing does suck. But the thing to remember is that only those of us who try things ever experience failure. Many people choose to go through life never trying, never trusting, never risking, never taking a chance. Thus, they never, ever fail. Or do they? For me, in spite of my many failures, I can truthfully say that I’ll never stop trying – even at the risk of failing yet again. And methinks you are the same way, my friend.

    Love The Grid. The only thing I’d add is to remind self to keep the faith.

    Smooches to you,

    Shelly

  • Excellent advise. Failing makes one hesitate to try something again. One must take a little time to heal, regroup and grow through the experience.
    Be healthy, be well, be vigilant.. and yes, take naps to re-invigorate and calm the mind.!!

  • Excellent advise. Failing makes one hesitate to try something again. One must take a little time to heal, regroup and grow through the experience.
    Be healthy, be well, be vigilant.. and yes, take naps to re-invigorate and calm the mind.!!

  • Excellent advise. Failing makes one hesitate to try something again. One must take a little time to heal, regroup and grow through the experience.
    Be healthy, be well, be vigilant.. and yes, take naps to re-invigorate and calm the mind.!!

    • This was so well written Sarah. Thank you for writing it so others have a resource to know “I’m not the only one.” And of course, having had this experiences (multiple times!) I get what you’re saying.
      These are the times when my daughter reminds me “It’s just not always easy to change your focus” and sometimes it’s not.

      Two ideas that I would add is
      1. Write in a gratitude journal every night at least 5 things you are grateful for. Sometimes, it’s a real stretch but it benefits us in two ways; clears our mind before we sleep so we can sleep better and, it’s a comfort when life really has tough moments and we want help with perspective.
      2. Start a Personal Victory Log and daily, before you leave your office or the time you designate to work, write out what you feel good about that you accomplished – big or small – write it out.

      I’m looking forward to reading more of your posts and am glad I found you through twitter!
      Wishing you joy,
      Anne Nelson
      You’ll find a dozen more in my book “Find Your Joy Zone: How to See What Makes You Happy and Love What Makes You Real.”

  • I’m walking my grid right now and it includes meditating every, single morning and night.

  • I'm walking my grid right now and it includes meditating every, single morning and night.

  • Thanks for your post and your reference to it on the round table today. Sometimes when we are on the “Dark Side” we forget that others go through it too!
    When I am there, I try to find someone to do something for (depending on how deep the funk is!) Helping another warms the heart.

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    • admin

      Santa Fe Traveler~
      You are SO right about Gratitude!! I almost put it in the grid – and then for some reason left it off. And I like that you look for the UNcommon stuff to be grateful for – the little things. I truly believe our lives reside in the little things. πŸ™‚ And the hand over your heart idea – astonishingly beautiful. Am adding to my own grid immediatly!
      Sarah

  • Thanks for your post and your reference to it on the round table today. Sometimes when we are on the “Dark Side” we forget that others go through it too!
    When I am there, I try to find someone to do something for (depending on how deep the funk is!) Helping another warms the heart.

    • admin

      Jennifer – you are so right. Entrepreneurs go through some tough stuff. I’m glad The Grid sounds like a helpful tool. πŸ™‚ Thanks for being here my friend.

      Sarah