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Who the Frak is "Everybody"?


Apparently I have an intimate relationship with “Everybody”. I can read their minds. I scurry to please them. I hover over the publish button, worrying about how they will respond to whatever I am posting. I fear them.

“What will Everybody think?”

“What will Everybody say?”

“What if Everybody hates me?”

“What would make Everybody love me?”

“What if Nobody (just another word for Everybody) likes it or me?”

Yeah – I’m twisted like that.

Pretty powerful group, this “everybody” who resides in my head. If I allow them, they will control my every move.

Fortunately, I had a pretty amazing teacher who gave me some insights around Everybody. Her name is Martha Beck. (I was lucky enough to be personally trained by her a life coach – AMAZING experience. But I digress.) And I would like to share a few of her thoughts on managing Everybody.

So, let’s use my Burn The Ships post as an example. Writing and hovering over the Publish button brought out every fear I had about Everybody. What would they think? Would they still respect me in the morning? Would they laugh at me? All that mess.

So here are the questions Martha taught me to ask:

– Can you name five specific people who would agree with Everybody?

– If yes, do you even like these people?

– If yes, will the people who love really care about the opinion of these people?

– If yes, are these people actually people you want in your space anyway?

-If yes, are there an equal number of specific people who would disagree with everybody?

– In the end, and if there really are 5 people – and I usually struggle to come up with who they are – do I care about what they think enough to let them control me?

Now, I will confess that the fear does not magically and completely leave me once I run through answering all these questions. BUT, it does shrink the size of my fear – and of Everybody – considerably.

What about you? How do you deal with Everybody?

P.S. Don’t forget – the first Ustream Tribal Meeting is tonight (Tuesday) at 10p EST.

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