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And Now I Grieve – Lesson #4 from My Live Event

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This is a lesson that’s just come upon me over the past day or two. And it is a lesson I truly did not expect.

I am a different person on the other side of my event.

As I worked toward making CIP happen, I summoned skills, courage and even a fierceness I did not know I possessed.  During the event I revealed a superpower to myself and my audience that I suspected but had never tested.  And now that it is over, I see myself in a completely different way.

All of this is good stuff to be sure. But still, I am washed over with a kind of grief. At first I couldn’t identify the source. What on earth did I have to be sad about?

Then it hit me as I walked yesterday afternoon. I am grieving the loss of what was familiar to me. A version of me I’d gotten quite used to.  For all her faults and limitations, I really liked her. She was familiar and predictable. Like a big, worn-out, comfy chair.

Now she’s gone. And no matter what I do, I can’t go back and be her again. And probably wouldn’t even if I could.

So today, before I can full breathe in to the new person I am becoming, I grieve the loss of what I was.

What about  you? How do you handle your own growth and change?

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